Friday, September 01, 2006

Murphy's Law

Yesterday, was proof that my sense of humor is intact.

We have rolling blackouts here all of the time.

I am not sure why, because we pay more for power than anyone I know.

The Collective and I came home yesterday with a truck full of items that needed immediate refridgeration. Ice Cream, meat, and the like. Only to find my garage door would not open upon the touch of a button.

The neighbor lady was out of doors having a cigarette, and informed me that power would be out for 45 minutes at least.

Damn. It would figure wouldn't it?

So I checked all of the doors into the house. To find all of the storm doors chained at the top. Damn.

Brain storm.

I can squeeze my arm in and unlock the dead bolt with my key.

So I unlock the dead bolt, and beg for Dash to assist in rescuing us.

Remember he is 4 1/2 , there are risks involved. He could become side tracked by a shiny object, and the mission could lost. So I give him a pep talk!!

AWTM: "Dash, I need you to do Mommy a big favor!! I need you to go get a kitchen chair, and bring it up here to the door, climb on top of it, and unlock the chain at the top!! OK?"

Dash: "OK, Mommy, I am ready."

I realized upon letting him squeeze through the door, that Pink Ninja, has to be involved, because she insists. She just wants to help.

So they run to the kitchen, and they each grab a chair. I can hear chairs being pushed across the tile floor urgently. They are focused. Dash, reaches the front door first. Pink Ninja dragging her chair behind her.

He is my cautious child. He really doesn't want to stand on it, he is nervous. But he goes ahead and tries it, with an expression of fear and concentration and effort. Teeth showing, lips pulled back. EYES wide.

Damn the chair is not tall enough.

So then I instruct them to get the highchair.

Meanwhile I call Tammi, and DH. I am laughing my ass off, and need to pee. The Chiropractor across the street has her blinds open, and I am sure she is enjoying our little skit.

I immediately have to call them back to put the kitchen chairs back, because 3 chairs will not fit in the front hallway, and it will turn into some sort of rubiks cube in a moment.

I still have to pee.

So they run back, get the chairs, put them in the kitchen.

The highchair is nabbed and brought to the front door.

Dash climbs on it, even more fearful, it is higher. Pink Ninja, meanwhile grabs a bib, and brings it to the front hallway, and sits in the highchair. (It is an old highchair, no wheels.) I explain to Pink Ninja, that it is not meal time. She needs to get out so Dash can stand.

Dash is scared, and somehow overcomes his fear, with some prodding. He makes the climb, and works with the chain, and I hear the chain release.

The door is unchained. He proclaims himself, as a hero, saving the day. Which he really is.

I still have to pee.

So I get to the restroom, and thank the children. I sing praises of the efforts. (This was really like directing housecats.)

Power is still out, The Collective really want to rest, and watch the Tigger movie just procured from the library, they also each want ice cream cones, as promised. I have to convince them, I need to bring in all of the groceries, and I will get them ice cream.

So I unload ALL of the groceries, watermelon, a case of tomatoes. A Lot of unloading. As soon as I am done guess?

Yes siree, the power comes on.


So then I get the cones made, the ice cream is very easy to scoop.

I continue to praise the collective for the efforts, particularly Dash, he is proud of himself. I tell him, he can pick any treat in the house.

He sets his water down, and tells me, he would like a coke. (This is a BIG deal, we rarely have soft drinks at the house)

So I allow him a coke.

What do you think happens?

Yeah, it spills on my beautiful Persian rug.

SO I spend the next hour, blotting and cleaning.

Praying to God, that the ants do not catch a whiff of this.

I scrub, and dab....

I set all of the clocks, and put the Tigger movie in only to have the power go out, as soon as the last clock is set.

The children are whiney and upset. "But Mooooom, you said weeee could watch a movieeeee."

"Guys, the power went out again I am sorry."

I than ask Dash, what he would like for supper, because tonight's dinner would be in his honor. He picks lasagne, fruit salad, and lettuce salad.

So, I find them each a paint with water book and set them at the table, and try to keep them busy while I wash fruit, and 26 pounds of tomatoes.

Power comes back on, they want to watch the movie, so I put in the movie again.

I put some ground beef, and garlic in a pan, and turn on the stove.

It is quiet, The Collective watching a movie, and I am getting my work done.

I put a load of wash in, I start setting clocks again. When the last clock is set. Boom.

The power goes out again....

Really just funny, it just seemed like as soon as I fixed one situation, some other thing would fall apart.

Very entertaining, if I was starring in a commercial, for carpet cleaner, or some sort of convenience item...

I did manage to smile the whole time, and I only swore once or twice.


Anonymous said...

Oh, man, I'd have been screaming bloody blue murder!

But Dash was definitely the hero of the hour! :)

(And maybe you should consider not setting that last clock. *g*)

Anonymous said...

I remember talking to you after it happened. I was laughing so hard... and then to read it. I had to laugh again...