Wednesday, November 30, 2005

To my Baby Girl

There are simply some things in the Universe that I cannot put into words...

I have learned from you, that I could fall in love in a moment.

The moment I felt dizzy, and knew it was you.

The moment I felt you kick inside me.

The moment you exited the protection of my body.

The first time I held you, and you knew my voice, and tried oh so hard to focus with new eyes.

You have mended my heart.

You have also made my heart the strongest and the weakest in the World.

I hope I do right by you......

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

For My Sister on Her Second Birthday

Well, my Sister turns 2 today, the good news is there are balloons and streamers everywhere, there are presents to be opened, oh and a fluffy white angel food cake just waiting to be eaten --frosting first. The bad news, all of the streamers and balloons are pink, the presents are not mine. (Although I have heard there is one measly package my Aunt sent...I don't know if one package will make up for this showering of gifts for Sissy.) The cake is off limits until after dinner, great. Now I must resort to walking by every few minutes and sticking my finger in the icing. Mom hates that, goes on and on about "ruining" the pretty cake. Well we are supposed to eat it right? Mom is a little crazy.

So My Sister turns 2 today. I am her big brother. I keep hearing that I am supposed to protect her, and teach her things, but frankly I have had it with her. She really takes this Pink Ninja thing too far. She usually is the aggressor, I am too busy reading and constructing cities to fight. She likes to fight. Today she hit me with a large plastic keyboard on my elbow. It really did smart. Mom automatically assumed I had it coming. I was really just sitting and reading I swear.

I like you Sissy, I just don't want to push the grocery cart, or hold your babies. I do not want to wear costumes, and twirl around with a wand. I just want you to leave me alone. I would also rather watch Thomas The Tank over Dora The explorer ....Any day. Thomas has a lot more friends, and he is blue.

So Happy Birthday I guess, and I hope you get something cool to play with so you leave my stuff alone.

Oh and I love you...

Mom made me write this letter...oh and Sissy please start looking into a different carrer. I never see want ads for Pink Ninjas, I hear the pay is not great, no 401k, and it is hard to find a life insurance policy ohhhh and they don't wear tutu's.

Monday, November 28, 2005

What it means........

When I started writing this initially, it was to stop my brain from imploding. Dear Husband had just gotten back from an 18 month deployment. I also do not consider myself a milblogger, I am far to narcissistic for that. However, my original intent was to write about the evolution of "it all". I never seem to be able to find the right words, to express it. It is really too much to wrap ones head around at times. The day to day of war, has taken its toll on me I am afraid. I can't watch the news like I did for 18 months, I just can't bear it. Only because I know, he could head out the door again.

I read this a couple of days ago, and felt the need to provide a link. Sounds like help is needed. If you can get to Topeka, go help. Also send the article to anyone you know in the area, anyone that can help.

After you are done there, please stop by Some Soldiers Mom. Just when I think she can't say it any better, she does. She always says it beautifully, even during the most tragic moments...

One more thing, Andi's husband is headed out, stop in and offer her a kind word, tell him thanks, and remember them in prayer this week.

Swept Away

Long night, sirens blaring for most of the early night. We were spared, but sounds like a couple of places down the road were hit.

Since I grew up on the Great Plains, I hate tornados. Spent a great deal of my time sitting in a basement as a child.

As I grew older and realized weather was dangerous, I simply was terrified of the high winds, and rain. I thought it would sweep everything I knew away. ?I would cling to my Dad and cry.

By the time I was 14, I wasn't so afraid of them any longer. I would stand on the porch with my Dad watching the weather change, the sky turn from dark blue -black to that omniscient murky yellow- green. We would watch funnels drop from clouds. I can still hear my Mom, in her best pissed off voice. "Get in the house, you are going to get yourselves killed."

Last night it was really too dark to see much of the sky, and we live in a valley surrounded by trees, no point standing outside and watching the trees bend, or watch the neighbors as they try and catch a glimpse of possible doom. The sirens were enough, as were managing 2 toddlers that somehow sensed the storm, and were creating their own indoor tornado.

I did note, I am still afraid, everything I know will be swept away.

Sunday, November 27, 2005


Halfway through dinner sirens tornado sirens.....dark, and can't see much. Still raining, thought I heard a bit of hail.

Tornado Watch until 2am.....

Several already spotted on ground...

Long night.


So Dear Husband is off at Dear Camp with "Army Buddy", and I am here at Casa De Dust with Pink Ninja and Dash.

List of things to do over weekend scratched mostly.

Why? Well there is the rain, which by the way I love. I could watch it rain all day. The sound of it, the smell of it, the way it is a good excuse to sit in jammies all day, or stay in bed late. *cough* I don't mind walking in it, or being caught in it.

However with the Toddlers rain isn't so romantic. It has become my enemy. We are trapped in our little dollhouse of a home. No where to jump or run. When it stops raining, we will wander out of doors to a muddy and tempting mess, which is sure to lure the children into acting like Lord of The Flies. Painting themselves and everything in sight with mud.

With children I do believe it is a question of energy. Directing children's energy in a positive and useful, playful manner. Or maybe it is question of them directing my energy? Cleaning muddy children, cleaning muddy children's clothes, cleaning out a filthy tub it takes hours you know.

Oh, and the others reason plans were scratched???

Dash the Farmer woke at 2:57am on Saturday morning, for good. Poor ole Mom, had sleep deprivation, and age working against her all day.

I seriously need to send this kid a job. I wonder if Krispy Kreme is hiring? They would need help in the early morning, and they could pay him in those magic sprinkles.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Oh Great, the WHORZ have WHEELZ

Ok, I posted on these awful skankz dollz, ick. Then I see a commercial for this "Bratz Party Bus". My God, that is exactly what Pink Ninja needs for Christmas. Slutty looking dollz, dressed like stripperz, driving around in a "party bus" complete with a hot tub and a bar.

Oh, and these things must be selling like "whorz", I noted ailez full of theze skanky thingz while at Walmart, another good reazon for me to stop shopping there.

I can see a 14 year old boy requesting one, they look like little personal centerfoldz.....

Captain Caveman

Dearest Husband is out at "Deer Camp" for the next couple of days again. This time with his "Army Buddy", who was in Desert Storm with Dear Husband. So it is mens weekend out at the camp. The old Explorer was filled with real tree this and that, man stuff, food and drink.

I don't know if they are going out there to hunt or not, I know they both need some down time, and I think the woods are a great place to BE.....

So I am here alone at Casa De Dust, trying to keep the chocolate monkey off my back this round. I got my Christmas Music out today, and have only gotten as far as "A Charlie Brown Christmas" featuring Vince Guaraldi Trio. I love it, and the children enjoyed it too. We also managed to get the tree up in the corner. Now for the lights and ornaments.

As always the laundry procreates when I am not looking, and there are about 3 loads, and linens as well. Lots of play time in the back while the weather is still glorious and the skies are bright blue. I will miss yoga in the morning, but raking the leaves into a pile over and over again, could be exactly what I need. It will also keep me from getting into the chocolate.

Now I need to go pick out some movies, and finish my book.........

Pillow Talk......

Conversation from Casa De Dust Budoir.......

Dear Husband: "You are a dork."

Me: "Probably, but you are a bigger dork."


Thursday, November 24, 2005

Most Recognized album cover by general public....

I am going to deny it is Thriller, although it may be. I am going to go with this

Sexiest Album Cover

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Thanksgiving Letter from Ninja Training Camp....

I am thankful for many things this year. My Ninja Camp Training injuries, are healed. I did learn, that climbing, and jumping can be dangerous. I have learned stealth, invisibility, camouflage, night vision, diversion, improvised weaponry, and hand to hand combat, plausible deniability, mind control, and biowarfare. Out of these skills, I think Mind control has been the most thrilling and satisfying of all.

I am thankful for my brother, he is excellent to spar with, he also makes me look "great most of the time", he also works as a fantastic diversionary tool.

I am thankful for my Mom because she buys me tutu's and magic wands, these are great undercover clothing.....No one ever expects a "princess" to actually be a Ninja. She is also too old, and too slow to keep up with my youth and speed.....

I am thankful my Daddy is home from Iraq this Thanksgiving. He is the bestest Daddy in the World. He gives me piggy back rides, and rocks me to sleep. I like to practice mind control on him the most......

Casa De Dust Debate of the Week....

Here is something to talk about while you have your hand reaching inside your thawing turkey looking for the giblets...

1) Most recognizable (by general public) album cover.

2) Personal favorite album cover.

3) Sexiest Album cover.

4) Top 10 album covers of all time (personal favorites).

I am also interested in how many trips ya'll end up making to the damn grocery store from today until Thanksgiving.....

I think I have everything here, which means I do not......Dear Husband, be prepared for at least 3 more trips.....

Feel free to answer in the comments, we have been debating this all week.....

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

I will take what I can get.....

I wash my hair before going to bed at night, which means in the morning I usually wake looking crazy.

This morning, I woke with perfect hair. Ringlets where my naturally curly hair should have them, parted perfectly. Not a drop of product in my hair. Even feels good to touch it. Very touchable hair this morning.

Perfect hair, I wonder if this is some sort of sign? I don't even have anywhere to go.

Maybe next time the Universe is kind I will find $20 in an old coat pocket....

Sunday, November 20, 2005

We Need A Little Christmas.......

Seems as if I have been spending a lot of time at "the maul" as of late. Really odd, particularly since I loathe "the maul".

However the night the family photographs were taken, I insisted on a "night off" from cooking. I had a hankering' for Chinese food. Very hard to find GOOD Chinese food in these parts, the best place is seriously a restaurant at the mall. Dear Husband caved, and we drove to "the maul". (Note***we are in our matching black sweaters, we just had on for family photo**)

When we walked in I happened to notice they had "Santa Land", ready. I figured it was way to early for Santa to be visiting, but thought, what the heck, if he is here.....The kids need to see him. Plus, they are dressed for pictures with the fat man anyway. I have been threatening the children with Santa for like a month now. I remind them about every 2 hours that he is watching, and he leaves coal in shoes if they are naughty. Dash checks his shoes almost every morning. No coal yet, but I have been tempted. So I send Dear Husband to do recon on the whole matter...yep Santa is here.

So we sit down to eat, in our matching outfits. The toddlers are eating and we are starved, everyone is quiet. The usual rice all over the floor, because both Pink and Dash insist on chopsticks. Meal ends, and we are off to "Santa Land".

Understand here, that Dash has always been afraid of Santa. I have never pushed the issue, so I was really unsure how he would react. Especially since I have been using Santa as a weapon. Also understand, that THIS CHRISTMAS is a real big deal for us. The last 5 Christmas's have not been the best, deployments, family illness, and deaths....They have been long and hard. We are staying here in OUR HOME this year. We need to have Christmas as a family, in our home. I do not want to board a plane, and live out of a suitcase. I want to be home. Where my children can wake in the morning and open gifts and make sure the cookies, and carrots are gone.

So we head over to see Santa, and I see a glimpse of his red suit, and white cuffs. Dash runs to Santa, and climbs right up on his lap. He pulls out his Christmas list (that is on the back of the placemat from the Chinese restaurant, it is full of scribbles.) We get the photo taken, and by the looks of things, I can tell Dash has no plans of leaving Santa's lap. Dash is animated,and using his hands, serious mostly. I am watching Dash with Santa, and I have tears behind my eyes, and I am blinking to keep them there. No one would understand what the tears are about.

I walk up to Santa, and Dash, and interrupt this important conversation, and I make sure to tell Dash "Dash, don't forget to tell Santa we are leaving him a treat." Santa says "This is one sharp kid, he told me about the snacks for me and my friends already. I also know your address, and how to get in the house, where the fireplace is...."

Before climbing off of his lap he gets a small candy cane for being such a good boy, Dash asks for one for his little Sister too.

Pink Ninja wanted nothing to do with the man, maybe next time. Sometimes she is a hard sell.

So we walk away in our matching sweaters and I have tears in my eyes, and Dash is talking and talking about Santa, and holding onto my hand, I look up and Pink Ninja is on her Daddy's shoulders. I got the feeling that everything will be alright this year.

Don't Ask-Don't Tell........

Princess Cat is out of town, she had to go to the Marine Corp Ball. So she asked RSM and I to watch the place, water the plants, feed the fish...that sort of thing. Not a problem, I could use a quiet place to get away to.

I had some trouble finding the keys, but made an extra set. Very odd being in the apartment of a single girl again. Not as odd as it is for RSM......yeah I have a policy that is don't ask don't tell. So I didn't ask. I will say this. Cat, I did not try on any of your clothes, I did not borrow anything while there. I also did not get in your makeup bag.

Whistling********and walking away************

If I Were Emma Peel......

I would be cocking my gun instead of caulking my bath tubs.....

Saturday, November 19, 2005

If you thought the other color scheme was gay, get a load of this.....

We left the house in our "matching enseme" sweaters and denim, I in a skirt, and the rest of the clan in jeans.....

Now I know the last color scheme sounded "gay", but try walking as a family in matching outfits.....Dear Husband told me "everybody probably just thinks we are Morman." I just kept thinking, I look like one of those "crazy Moms, that likes everyone to match all of the time." "We really did look much gayer, matching, than we would ever had, in my original color scheme...."

We managed one halfway decent family photo, no easy feat. Dearest Dash decided that the photo studio would be a great place to FREAK.....I think Dash has been watching too much National Geographic, and thought the photographer was trying to steal his soul by photographing him. It seriously took about 30 minutes to get him in "a good place".....I am familiar with Dash's FREAK outs at certain places, so it was no news to me. I think Dear Husband was confused and shocked by the entire matter.....

One half way decent photo. That was all we needed. So we get the obligatory 8 x 10 for us, 5 x 7 for the rest of the bunch, and then decide....we might as well order Christmas cards. Then I would be DONE, with the photo taking, and the nerve racking business of trying to get a decent photo of the children.

Now, how do we make this card personal, how will we make sure everyone knows, we haven't gone over the edge. No we don't dress identically all of the time.....

We ordered the Feliz Navidad cards.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Photo Genesis

They used to photograph Shirley Temple through gauze. They should photograph me through linoleum.
Tallulah Bankhead
US movie actress (1903 - 1968)

We go today to get an "official family photograph". It will be the first official "family photograph" EVER. We have the obligatory Branson souvenir saloon shot, but we really did need a normal picture. Even if we do not consider ourselves normal.

Why has it taken so long? Good question. There are several excuses. Dear Husband has been gone for a great deal of time. My self imposed short haircut that did not do me any favors. Oh and lastly the baby/deployment weight.

So even though I have not lost much weight since Dear 'husbands return, I am breaking down, and taking one for the team.

Then of course there is the question of "what to wear"......I had decided on a color scheme that had included cream, chocolate, salmon, and turquoise. Dear Husband thought this was a very "gay" and ugly color scheme......So I change it to chocolate and cream. It was still to gay. So I finally broke down and gave in to our dear friend "black". Yep that's right, black sweaters, denim, and indigo......Not exactly original, but not nearly as "gay"....

I must add here, I am not photogenic, I do not like smiling, I have crooked teeth....I hate my teeth, so my smile will be censored. I also do not take a "good" photo. I do not have a "good side". If I knew I had a good side I would walk sideways and backwards, so everyone would see it. I am afraid I am that vain. So I will spend my day "worried" about the new family portrait. I will be so anxious and wacky by the time the photo is taken...I will look like a raving lunatic.......

I know one thing of course, the toddlers and Dear Husband will look gorgeous as always.


Required reading.....staying up top for a while....

A must read this am. As always your prayers and kind words are needed.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Marshmallow Mustache

Dash has been obsessed with "hot cocoa", since seeing and episode of Thomas The Tank Engine, in which "Jack Frost" makes an appearance, and the cold trains drink hot cocoa to warm up.

So he has been asking daily.

"can I have some hot cocoa please?"

I had been holding off because I was afraid that the cocoa might be a stimulant, and there is NO way, I was going to let a single cup of cocoa ruin my months of sleep scheduling.....NO way.... However, couple of nights ago I gave in, and made him "warm milk with ovaltine". I threw a few marshmallows on top, and presented it to him in one of my large white stoneware mugs.

He sat there sipping, and smiling. Making yum sounds, which are ...ohhh--MMM.

Pleased with himself, smiling and sipping. His eyes were saying "I just knew this was going to be delicious"....

Dear Husband and I were talking back and forth and giggling over how happy he seemed, how we wished a cup of cocoa could grant us such pleasure. All of that blonde hair, and marshmallow mustache, he needed a little ski sweater and he would look Norwegian.

He then says....."This is delectable"...

I so want this kids lines, we cracked up.......Where does he get this stuff.

Another Pretty Salad

This is a very delicious, and pretty salad. My Father who does "not eat salads", will actually eat this one. It also looks lovley in a crystal bowl on your Thanksgiving table.

-I think the last time I prepared this I used sliced almonds instead of cashews. I also used grated Romano, instead of Swiss. It is such a delicious and versitile salad have fun.

-Also I mix my dressing in "old mayonaisse jars, just shake well....."

-One more thing, as always dressing can be served on side.......

1 large bag of pre-washed Romaine lettuce (more if serving a large number)

1 cup shredded Swiss cheese

1 cup cashews

½ cup craisins ( sweetened dried cranberries)

1 red Gala apple (cubed/not peeled)

1 red pear (cubed/not peeled)

Dressing (Mix in a blender)

1/2 cup sugar

1/3 cup lemon juice

2 teaspoons finely chopped onion

1 teaspoon Dijon mustard

2/3 cup oil

1 tablespoon poppy seed

Mix the lettuce with the cheese and craisins. I mix the apple and pear in the dressing so they don’t discolor and add just before serving. Also add the cashews just before serving so they don’t get soggy. Might not need all the dressing. It depends on how much lettuce you have. If you increase the lettuce, increase the cheese etc. The ingredients for the salad don’t need to be exact except for the dressing ingredients.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

I will take sprinkles on that.....

I had to pack up the children and ESCAPE today.

Besides my "chi" being off, they were driving me insane, and they know it. Some days I have great patience, others, not so good.

I was talking to this "mom-blogger" on the phone, and she was having a similar problem. However she was operating on ONE hour of sleep, due to a nasty case of croup.

I had about 6-7 hours sleep and my toddlers had way too much energy to be in the house.

So I referred to my list, and interrupted a game of "Beat the Crap out of Each other"....Many of you might be familiar with this game...And I put the brakes on it, and proceeded with THE .................

-bread store
-post office
-Pink Ninja needs birthday dress (no holiday dress!!)

I decide that this list is probably my way OUT. I was just tired of this discussion.

Me: "Get off that"

Me: "Get down from there"

Me: "Let go of his hair"

Me: "Did you bite her?"

Me: "Put those pillows back!"

Me: "Didn't I just make your bed?"

I will stop here, while I have your attention still. Some days I feel like "stop", is the only word I know.

Pink and Dash are usually great, but we have had rain for several days. (Dash HATES being wet worse than any feline). The back yard has some standing water in it, and for craft time here-we really ought to be building a arc out of poscicle sticks. Pink Ninja, on the other hand, would be completely thrilled with wet clothes and a plastic cup to pour dirty water from puddle into the back of a yellow Tonka truck.

So I manage to put on a little makeup, and a brown sweater, blue jeans. I give the tots a run-down of the list, and our stops. Dash must know where we are headed. He is no fan of surprises, so I always have to give him a run down of the places we will stop.

Dash "First stop Kohls."

-looking for a Christmas gift for my Sister from Pink Ninja and Dash. It is already snowing back home, and I can see her wrapped up in blanket after blanket on her cream sofa with blue flowers. So I decided Aunt Ne' needs a WARM fleecy pj thing from the toddlers. They have NOTHING of the sort. So I go to the toddlers section to see if the have "birthday dress". Nope, no "birthday" dresses, only "holiday".

I leave empty handed, the toddlers were fantastic.

Dash: "Second stop maul"

Elevator ride first thing, just to get it out of the way, otherwise they will "beg"
to for the next 30 minutes. I find the dress right away. A baby blue dress by the Feltman Brothers, light blue cotton, soft, with smocking across the chest, puffy sleeves, and a lace trimmed Peter Pan collar. A nice pretty party dress, very retro. She will look so sweet with her wispy blonde hair. She will also get to wear it to get her 2 year photos taken. Which she will love. Painless, although the pricetag on the tiny dress was shocking to me. These Feltman Brothers gotta be loaded....

Dash: "Third stop Bank"


Dash "Fourth stop Post Office"

Me: "No, you guys have been so good, I am going to get you a treat."

The Krispy Kreme, is right next to the bank. I go through the drive thru, and get each of them a donut with "sprinkles".

Silence................I look in the back of the truck to see both children, covered in sprinkles, and donut glaze. Eyes closed. Sleeping..............

I am not sure where Krispy Kreme buys their sprinkles, but I must find out.....

I send an the Earth

My Friend Bou, is in need of some musical advice after recieving an ipod for a gift. Now she has to fill the darn thing...

Suggestions folks suggestions....

She is very 80's and I love that, it also appears she is a fan of almost any genre.

So folks run over, and let Bou know what might be a welcome addition to her collection.

Next time I see you Bou, I wanna see you dancing.

Correcting my Chi through retail therapy

Yesturday I was down in the "chi dumps", so I thought some retail therapy might be in order. After being alone for 4 days while DH was out hunting wild game, and consuming enough chocolate to reverse all of my hard pilates work within the first 24 hours, I could not buy jeans, or a skirt. Only boots would correct my sins. And since I have 2 toddlers, I opted to try and correct this with some "online shopping". I had been looking at thes boots for months....seriously. I was in love with them, in fact I used a picture of them for this post last week. Imagine my surprise when I recieved a e-mail from Spiegal notifying me that these boots were on SALE for a mere $47. Of course, you buy them.. they are gorgeous tall black leather boots, quilted leather on the sides. So I went ahead and bought them.

I was over at Bad Example this morning, and see this post by Harvey...and I think wha? I bought one pair of $47.00 dollar boots. I felt a little bad that Harvey was pointing out my "therapy" to his much larger readership. I am not a "retail slut". Please note that the SALE was 24 hours Harvey, I did not end the sale buy buying all of the boots.

However I did note this morning that they have this lovely pair up. I have nothing to wear with these. They look "almost dangerous"....what on Earth would "Martha Stewart" need these dangerous looking shoes for? Then I remember Aeon Flux, is opening in a short while, and these boots...would be PERFECT.

I guess my purchase yesturday did not correct my chi, as I had planned. So now I either have to buy another pair, or consume another bag of chocolate......crap.

********note to self*************************************

stop posting on this boot thing, it is sure to bring you weird google searches, and "shoe and boot freaks" is also boring your current readers.

go to the store today and get in a fight with a "bagger" or the "checkout gal", this would be a much more exciting post.....

When in doubt fight club

remember as a housewife, your adventures may need embellishment to prove interesting.

wear boots to the store and karate kick the produce guy...

gotta run, the bell on the wash machine went off.

hooo hummmmmmmmmmmmmm


Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Dash KNOWS success.

Sunday it rained through most of the day. Pink Ninja and Dash were not thrilled about staying cooped up. We are outside daily, and the only thing that stops us is downpour.

So they have a bad morning, some mornings are just bad.....when you have an almost 2 and an almost 4 year old. They chase, and climb, and steal from one another. Typically I can handle them. However on this day, I couldn't. They were spiraling into a cesspool of fussiness, and crying.

I was quick on my feet and suggessted a trip to WalMart. Which if you know me, you know I LOATHE Walmart. On a Sunday, I SUPER LOATHE Walmart. However the kids seemed excited, and they calmed down, the downward spiral slowed. I loaded them in the truck, and headed to the "nicest WalMart" I could think of.

The kids were great, they sat in the cart, and enjoyed the ride. WE picked up some fruit, and they each got a color book. Not a peep from either of them......

Upon leaving the Walmart, Dash holds onto my hand while crossing the parking lot and says.

Dash: "Mommy?"

Me: "Yes Dash"

Dash: "I think that went well, don't you?"

Me: ****melting**** "yes that went well."

Monday, November 14, 2005


Speigal is having a boot sale ladies, it is one day.

Yeah there are a few ugly pair, but oh my, I have had my eye on the black quilted tall leather pair on page 3. They are like half off.

Sorry honey I am buying them, I will even wrap them up and put them under the tree....

-They are like butter-

UPDATE: I made my purchase this morning....gorgeousness....

If I Were Emma Peel......

Steed would certainly get me out of this mess. He is a gentleman after all. Instead I will be "tied up" most of the day. Errands, bills, banking and the like.

If you find yourself "untied" today, you might want to go here and take a listen to what I have been waiting 13 years for. Yes, that is right Kate Bush, released Aerial on November 7th. Bush sings about a man ''with an obsessive nature and deep fascination for numbers/and a complete infatuation with the calculation of pi.'' Her voice is as etherial as always, and I found myself wanting to consume her voice with a single inhale.........lovely. Not as good as Hounds of Love, but I missed her so.

Packing up.....

Dear Husband returning from deer camp today, as of last night at 11:00pm, he was sans deer. This could mean Dear Husband might be going out again. That is ok. He sounded good, sitting in the woods watching fawn is not a bad gig. Very good for the spirit.

So I will pack of the movies, chocolate (which I should ban from the house), my binoculars, paper plates, and prepare a "Sunday" night meal for "Monday" night. Mediterannian Pork roast, salad, and sweet potatoes.

Sunday, November 13, 2005


Saturday was a fantastic day to spend out of doors. I did manage to rake up a few bags of leaves. Not exactly easy when you have over enthusiastic helpers. We did have fun though. I managed a few pictures to prove it. I also managed a couple of blisters. ***note to self**** buy work gloves, just when I think I am "country"....

However, we had high winds and rained last night, so all of the hard work went down the tubes. My sanity will follow, as it continues to rain and we are TRAPPED indoors. Which can only mean .....


Fight Club.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Deer Camp Widows Guide to Survival

A lot of my "Sister's" have been surprised at my looking forward to Dear Husband being away at "deer camp"....

First of all may I remind you it is 4 days ONLY. I think people forget that he was a participant in Operation Iraqi Freedom for 18 months. 4 days is NOTHING....My Dear Husband is gone a lot for his regular Monday trhu Friday....4 days is NOTHING.

So here is a guide for those of you who need suggestions to make it through deer season!! What am I gonna do for 4 days...

1) NO SHAVING.....while your Husband is out at Dear Camp looking oh sooo Grizzly Adams. No shaving. Think of the time, and money saved here.

2) All of the chocolate you can eat. Yes, that is what I said ladies, you can have chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

3) No extravagant meal planning, cook for the children if you must, but you know they are happy with the most simple of fare.

4) Paper plates for 4 days......ahhh. Your hands and nails will look great.

5) Chick flicks!! You can watch Steel Magnolias without hearing your husband talk about how he thinks Julia Roberts has a horse face...Added bonus, you can watch Closer without watching your Dear Husband ogle Natalie Portman.

6) Did I mention chocolate?

7) I hate to break this to you ladies that are unaware, but there is a bonus. Your Husband probably spent a pretty penny to go Deer Hunting. Gone are the days of men running loose with guns on the countryside. There is a deer lease, gun, ammo, beer, booze, food, tree stand, assortment of knives, hunting license, safety clothing. My Husband had a truck full of stuff on his departure. What is the benefit of that you ask? You my ladies are probably entitled to go spend money on your favorite hobby, clothing, maybe a trip with your favorite girlfriends for 4 days is in order. Be CREATIVE, I trust your creativity.

8) Baths that last an eternity, you can soak and read....Sans interruption.

9) Go out and buy your favorite wine, something to sip on while you are in the tub.

10) Chat on the phone with one of your favorite girlfriends for HOURS!!

11) Listen to ABBA, Sara McLaughlin, Saeta (download), ELO, Rilo Keley, Shelby Lynn....Whatever your Dear Husband can't stand....And sing at the top of your lungs.

12) No makeup!!

13) Pajamas all day, until you need to face your adoring public.

14) More wine.

15) Watch the neighbors pool boy, through your binoculars for hours.....

ladies I know you are "CREATIVE", so if you have any ideas, or suggestions....Feel free to add them.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Valour IT Go

This Post Will Remain Up Top, until Nov 12, 2005

I have been following From My Position for quite some time. Then one of our military friends called one day, and said. "Hey, I found your blog and I found one of my buddies on your blogroll. I know Chuck Z." It made things a little more personal.

So now I go over every single day, and I read Chuck or his wife Caren.

Chuck and his wife were going to picnics like the rest of us before his injury. He is currently at Walter Reed getting more procedures done. I think if you are on the fence about giving to Project Valour -IT, you only need to go here and read a few posts. I picked these posts here, but feel free to go over and read more.

There is this post written by Caren a couple of days ago.

This is a post written by Chuck a little while ago.

Here is a post written by Caren written a couple of days ago from Walter Reed.

So go over and read, these posts, and try and pick a few more.

Project Valour-IT(Voice-Activated Laptops for OUR Injured Troops)
Project Valour-IT, in memory of SFC William V. Ziegenfuss, provides voice-controlled software and laptop computers to wounded Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines recovering from hand and arm injuries or amputations at major military medical centers. Operating laptops by speaking into a microphone, our wounded heroes are able to send and receive messages from friends and loved ones, surf the 'Net, and communicate with buddies still in the field without having to press a key or move a mouse. The experience of CPT Charles "Chuck" Ziegenfuss, a partner in the project who suffered hand wounds while serving in Iraq, illustrates how important this voice-controlled software can be to a wounded servicemember's recovery.

The injured really need our help.

Mr. Blackfive has the details, so go give him a visit.

WHAT: Friendly fundraising competition for Valour-IT.WHEN: November 2nd through Veterans Day (the 11th).WHERE: Based in the blogosphere, spreading everywhere else.WHY: Because giving wounded warriors with hand and arm injuries access to a computer supports their healing and puts them back in touch with the world.

Do what you can folks!!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Thanking You .....

-written by Edgar Lee Masters

I have known the silence of the stars and of the sea,
And the silence of the city when it pauses,
And the silence of a man and a maid,
And the silence of the sick
When their eyes roam about the room.
And I ask: For the depths,
Of what use is language?
A beast of the field moans a few times
When death takes its young.
And we are voiceless in the presence of realities --
We cannot speak.

A curious boy asks an old soldier
Sitting in front of the grocery store,
"How did you lose your leg?"
And the old soldier is struck with silence,
Or his mind flies away
Because he cannot concentrate it on Gettysburg.
It comes back jocosely
And he says, "A bear bit it off."
And the boy wonders, while the old soldier
Dumbly, feebly lives over
The flashes of guns, the thunder of cannon,
The shrieks of the slain,
And himself lying on the ground,
And the hospital surgeons, the knives,
And the long days in bed.
But if he could describe it all
He would be an artist.
But if he were an artist there would be deeper wounds
Which he could not describe.

There is the silence of a great hatred,
And the silence of a great love,
And the silence of an embittered friendship.
There is the silence of a spiritual crisis,
Through which your soul, exquisitely tortured,
Comes with visions not to be uttered
Into a realm of higher life.
There is the silence of defeat.
There is the silence of those unjustly punished;
And the silence of the dying whose hand
Suddenly grips yours.
There is the silence between father and son,
When the father cannot explain his life,
Even though he be misunderstood for it.

There is the silence that comes between husband and wife.
There is the silence of those who have failed;
And the vast silence that covers
Broken nations and vanquished leaders.
There is the silence of Lincoln,
Thinking of the poverty of his youth.
And the silence of Napoleon
After Waterloo.
And the silence of Jeanne d'Arc
Saying amid the flames, "Blessed Jesus" --
Revealing in two words all sorrows, all hope.
And there is the silence of age,
Too full of wisdom for the tongue to utter it
In words intelligible to those who have not lived
The great range of life.

And there is the silence of the dead.
If we who are in life cannot speak
Of profound experiences,
Why do you marvel that the dead
Do not tell you of death?
Their silence shall be interpreted
As we approach them.

Christmas Photo Card Practice Session #7

Yeah, I don't think this will work either. First off the "Cotton Candy Fairy" costume, not Christmasy, oh and of course Miss Pink Ninja had to make THE goofiest face of all time...

Dash, was action man running everywhere enthusiastically I might add. Very photogenic, now if I could get them to stand by one another....We might have a winner.

Mrs. Z. On TV, for Valour IT...


you did a fantastic job, and for those of you who missed it. Go HEREand click on the Project Valour It, below the photograph of the Mr. Z, family and President Bush.

Thank you Chuck and family, for EVERYTHING you have done and do.

Vegas Interrupted

I have had Vegas on the brain, bad. I spent last night dreaming about Vegas. (I will add here, by saying I am not a gambler) However I am surprised at my "company" in the dream. I was with a group of Red Hat Society ladies. They all were in their purple and red costumes. I was also "traveling with" them, on some sort of bus tour.

The other surprise. Our itinerary included a show, and it was Doc Severnson, the "band leader" from the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. (I share the same hometown with Johnny Carson). The ladies were so excited about going to see Doc Severson. I was not so thrilled with the idea, but had agreed to go.

So we go into an aquamarine and pink diner for breakfast, and guess who comes in? Clarence Clemons, Bruce Springsteen's (btw, I can't stand Bruce) sax player. I called him Clarence Thomas and he got mad.

So in my dream, I am waiting to cut out from the "Red Hat Society" ladies and go dancing and drinking. I made the decision in the dream that it was too boring. The very moment when I decide to cut loose and have fun, I wake to the sound of Dash crying.

It is 3:30am, and he is awake for good.

Damn, just when I was "sooo money".

It has already been a very long morning.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005


"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
-Anais Nin

I am smiling and happy tonight. A yoga studio down the road. No more "yolattes"....and I am glad. I will practice Hatha and Vinyasa yoga. I need this for my entire self. I am already feeling good about this.

I am ready for the next level.

Deer Camp Widow Cooking School

You better come home with a dead deer, because this sounds yummy. I always like fruit with wild game, and this recipe sounds so easy and good.

Venison Medallions with
Orange and Summer Berry Sauce

8-12 venison medallions

Sear in hot oil or a non-stick pan until rare. Season with cracked pepper and rest.


4 shallots, chopped
1 teaspoon fine green ginger root, chopped
1 knob of butter
1 teaspoon red current jelly
2 nips port wine
1 orange (peel removed) and juiced
200ml venison stock (60ml glace devenison 140ml water)
OK to substitute low fat veal stock
Orange and Summer Berry Sauce

1 teaspoon red wine vinegar
1 teaspoon arrowroot mixed with sufficient water to make a slurry
1/2 pint blueberries or raspberries

In the pan that you have seared the meat, sauté the chopped shallots and ginger with the butter. When cooked, add red current jelly, port, orange zest and juice and reduce by half. Add the venison stock, reduce to desired flavor, add vinegar to adjust the sweetness of the sauce and thicken with arrowroot. Add the berries and heat through.

Warm meat in the oven to serving temperature. (About 3-4 minutes). Arrange on the sauce in a floral pattern, using parsnip for the center of the flower. Garnish with parsnip fries and a selection of seasonal vegetables.

If I Were Emma Peel......

I would show the French how it is done.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Good Wives

Well it appears we will all be busy watching television tomorrow. Hell On Heels will be featured in a Press Conference on Capitol Hill, on mil-blogging. Go Andi! I cannot think of a more determined or caring person for this mission. Please go over and wish her well, and tune in. The conference is EST 9:45am.

Another mil-blogger will also be on the television tomorrow. The One and Only (Founder of Valour IT) Chuck Z's wife Carren. Carren blogs by proxy when it is necessary. Chuck is currently undergoing and recovering procedures in Walter Reed. Carren will be on MSNBC at 12:30pm EST. She will be discussing Valour IT. So spread the word folks, and the links....the money is needed.

Also, go wish these women well, say a prayer tonight. They really are GREAT EXAMPLES of what strength and decorum are all about.

*Curtsey* Mr. Blackfive

Captain Caveman

3 days of Romance until Dear Husband retreats the the comfort of the woods.

It is deer season , and since Dear Husband was off hunting terrorists last deer season, he missed it. He has been looking forward to this deer season like no other. So he is packing and preparing nightly for the ritual. Although he did tell me yesturday, it "seems like it should be months away". Perhaps the 83 degree temperatures, are not exactly condusive to a yankee boys hunting instinct.

So go forward and enjoy the hunt, and the new deer lease, and the guys at deer camp, cooking like cavemen, and howling at the moon.

I will be a "deer camp widow" for a few days. Time to break out the chocolate, chick flicks, a nice bottle of wine, and some bubble bath.

Seems though I am not alone. There are more of us.

So Dear Husband, have fun, and enjoy.........

Oh, and that bear you saw 2 visits ago, shoot first and ask questions later.

Daily Grind

My husband has his paperwork from the VA, to start his dental work. ArmyWife hooah. He needs crowns on the entire lower jaw. $10,000 approx. in work. Seems as if he grinds his teeth a bit. When he was 21, and we married, he did not do this. The teeth grinding is either from me, or from "the man". I will let you the reader decide.

So now we have the paperwork, and cannot find any Dentist that wants to deal with the VA. So I will be spending most of the afternoon begging and pleading with Dental professionals.

We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.
Wernher von Braun
US (German-born) rocket engineer (1912 - 1977)

Monday, November 07, 2005

Bratz,Slutz,Whorz and Skankz oh my....

Christmas is fast approaching, only 47 shopping days left. Here at the Casa de Dust, we have bombarded with toy catalogues.

I cannot think of a better way to celebrate the birth of the baby Jesus, than by purhasing a slutty looking doll for my child. Oh and don't tell me they are not slutz.

They have reproduced.

What in the World? Who are the parents buying these things?

Training Wheels

This post, made a bell go off.......

Shoes, boots.....I never used to understand it. Why women or friends of mine for that matter LOVED shoes....

I grew up in the VERY CENTER of the United States. Nebraska to be exact. A place where footwear should be utilitarian. You should be able to run from a tornado in your shoes, or be able to step in some sort of farm animal crap, without a second glance. Oh, and lets not forget how frightfully cold it is about half of the year. Frostbite is a sure possibility. One can not, negotiate their way through an icy main street wearing anything but the most "suitable" footwear. There are rules in the Midwest, many unspoken, but if a woman falls in utilitarian footwear, someone will help her back to her feet, without blinking---they will also be concerned about her state. "Are you ok?" If a woman wearing 4 inch heels, crashes or slides on the ice in a parking lot in the Midwest, the response would be chuckles, and eye rolling. They will help you up eventually, but after they help you up....That person is sure to make a comment. "What were you thinking wearing those shoes in this weather". Wearing heels in icy weather in the Midwest, is simply asking for trouble....

Well after having the babies. Things changed for me. Not only my waistline. My nails seemed dry and brittle, my hair darkened 4 shades, to almost black, my once gorgeous skin There is one part of my body that did not leave its mark of betrayal. My feet. They were still a perfect size 7 1/2. My arches were still high, and still soft. Oh my feet......

So I could no longer shop for clothes. I was not about to give in to my new size. Oh no, I was going to go down fighting. I could not try on tiny tops, and feel sexy and coy, because the weight was not sexy. I felt like I needed to Cover myself in a Caftan or mumu. The biggest sweatshirt in the closet, and a big pair of sweat pants.

I could however, go to the shoe department and try on the cutest, and strappiest of shoes. Shoes that were flirty, young, and thin. Pink mules with kitten heels, black patent pointed pumps. Boots that were sexy and tall, and black and leather.....

So I gave in and bought some boots and shoes. They MADE me turn the corner. Why? One cannot wear 4 inch heeled with sweatpants. It does look ridiculous. The shoes prodded me to buy myself, a cute silky brown blouse, and that denim at knee a-line skirt. The shoes and the boots pulled me together. One cannot ride on the back of the Harley in New Balance tennis shoes, you need heavy thick soled, leather boots. Boots that make me feel taller....And safe.

I never thought I would thank a pair of boots.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Saturday Night Live Fire

I managed to get out of cooking last night. I think Dear Husband thought I could use a break.....

The Lt. Col. had to stop by and see a friend.

So we took the fresh faced Ranger and Toddlers out for ribs.

After dinner, we head back to the house, so he can check his e-mail. In the darkness, on the Interstate. I have night-blindness, and they are both staring ahead.

This young man, who Dear Husband has known for years, starts telling us of his time in Iraq.....

We all stared ahead.

I had tears flooding my eyes, and just kept driving. Quiet tears. Quiet. Quiet.

Inside I was screaming. Stop. I don't want to hear this story.

Dear Husband started telling a story, and I interrupted him by asking for directions.

I am not ready to hear how lucky I am.

When I am I going to be able to hear the stories?

Am I ever going to be ready for that?

Quiet. Quiet. Quiet.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Saturdays are like that

"Get your feet out of your Sister's hair".

Yeah, I know, I said that this morning.

Husband returning from a friends Ranger School graduation in Georgia. They will depart soon after for a gun show here in town.


Proud of you.

I have a Lt. Col, a Ranger Grad, and Dear Husband for dinner. All Veterans...

Proud of them.

List of things to do.

Remind husband we have NO more money for guns or ammo.

Put some damn makeup on

Get kids out of Pjamas

Get me out of Pjamas

Run to the Meat Market

Make a salad


Clean bathroom

Take kids OUT of my house, before they destroy my hard work.

Put some hanging laundry in closet

Take out trash

Empty dishwasher

Friday, November 04, 2005

Strength of Women and Good Mothers

It has been a hard week, for almost everyone I know. I haven't blogged on it, because it is simply too much and too hard.

My one really good girlfriend in town, has 5 kids. I have blogged on her before. Her youngest has Downs Syndrome, autism, and cardiac problems. While I was in TN, she was in the ICU, watching the Drs do emergency surgery on this little guys bowel.
She has been staying in ICU, all week, and this little boys abdomen was left open because of swelling. He is on a ventilator....And could use your prayers. Her strength through this is grace at its purest form.

I had a call this morning that one of my other girlfriends in town miscarried this morning. She too has 5 children. The pregnancy wasn't planned, and she was 43, but she was so excited and had resolved to become a great Mom again. I keep thinking of her today, and I should call her.

I did get good news yesterday, I got an e-mail from a long-time girlfriend back in Nebraska. We used to be inseparable, and now have become too busy for one another. She and her Husband have been trying to get pregnant to no avail for the last 3-5 years. One week out from adoption papers, and guess what, they are pregnant. 20 weeks now, she feels great, and she is obsessed with food of all sorts. I am smiling.

SO I have a lot to be thankful for, and I am going to spend the afternoon sniffing the toddlers hair, holding the little sticky hands, and be thankful.........

Till the Cows Come Home

The time change, has caused Dash to wake at 5:00am. I am thinking he has "Farmers blood", there is plenty of it on both sides. That is about the time you would go to the barn to milk cows.

I keep saying it over and over again, but I am not a morning person. I should not be allowed to talk to humans until I have had at least one cup of coffee.

I have had a couple of suggestions sent to me re: Dash's early waking. 1) Put him to bed later, he might wake later. (I have tried this, and it doesn't work. The kid has a fantastic inner clock. )
2) It was also suggested that I let him eat and watch TV. (This kid is very "Farmer". He thinks if he is up, the World ought to be up. You ought to be grateful and happy about the Sun rising. He also will make so much racket, the neighborhood will be up. )

My Dear Husband is a morning person, wakes up bright eyed, pleasant, and ready for the day. He loves morning. My Mom was also a morning person. She woke yammering and planning the take over of the free World at 4:30 am. This irritated my Father and I. When Dear Husband and I would go visit my folks. My Mom and Dear Husband would be up at 4:30, clanging pans, looking through recipe books. Talking about God knows what. My Father and I would eventually become irritated at them and we would leave the comfort of sleep and bed. Only to spend the next 2 hours trying to wake up. My Father and I do not wake bright eyed. We wake with our almond shaped eyes in small slits. The sun is to bright, and morning always comes to early.

The good news is Pink Ninja, is my sleeper in the mornings. I think she would sleep until 8:00am if Dash would let her. He wakes her daily, with a clang or scream. She wakes with squinted almond shaped eyes, just like me and my Dad.

5:00am is simply too early for this girl. 7:30 is about ideal for me. That is just about right. It ain't gonna happen for the next 16 years, so I better get used to living with Farmers.

Anyone know where I can buy some cattle?

If I Were Emma Peel......

I would be such a Rockstar, I would always be Inblognito....

Position of the Week #7

This weeks position looks like it is easy. It was one of the hardest yoga position for me to master. I have heard it called a modified plank, four limbed staff, and Chaturanga. It is like a push-up, and as such is a great arm strengthener. It is part of the Sun Salutation vinyasa sequence of poses. It is a great tri-cep strengthener.

The trick is to get as low to the floor, and maintain balance. Don't forget your breathing folks.

*ArmyWifeToddlerMom and those associated are not responsible for any injuries that you might obtain from attempting , or maintaining said position. Please contact your Physician before starting any exercise program. *

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Anyone need a pair of leather pants?

Maybe to wear for fight club?

For Sale

The First Rule of Fight Club

Yeah you know the rules.

So at the blogmeet at SWG. Tammi and That 1 Guy show up late. I am talkin late. I got bold at the hotel, and banged on his door. His story is, he was sleeping. (fight club)

Then they are late to Erics. This time the lame ass excuse is "looking for manicotti noodles". (fight club). When they do show up, That 1 guy has a bloody nose. Tammi and he start scrambling for a story. "Oh, he has high blood pressure...yadda yadda, yadda." Anyway they snuck out again, this time it was "The hospital E.R." (fight club).

Anyway, just when they think they have covered the tracks, Tammi posts this TODAY. Now she has fight club at work.

I soooooo know what is going on guys.

I cannot fight my way out of a paper sack, but I do know the first rule.

Can I join?

What to Wear.....

What does one wear to a blogmeet?

Jim from Parkway Restop answers....with this little diddy.

"Taking lessons from some of the great ones, next blogmeet, I'll be wearing my BLACKFIVE tee shirt, women's shoes, eyelash extenders, a mullet, tats, and a bloody nose. Oh, and I'll be showing up in a bigass truwk with lots of ammo."

"Farookin Funny"

Management Material

I am not a great morning person. Imagine that. I am an insomniac, have been as long as I can recall. However, once asleep I am OUT. One should not waken me, because I am not my best in the morning.

When the babies arrived I learned one can not growl when awakened. I was awakened a lot, breastfeeding requires one to be up almost every 3 hours Round The Clock. Something else happens when the babies arrive. Your sleep is disrupted by slight sounds in the night. You can hear EVERYTHING. So I have learned to live on about 5 broken hours of sleep. Probably not ideal.

This morning Dash was up at 5:00am. He was already bouncing off of the walls. No coffee, no milk, no fuel. He was already bouncing.

Dash: (jumping) "Did you sleep well?"

Me: (trying to open eyes)

Dash: "It is morning, I have to pee."

Me: (trying to open eyes)

Dash: "galloping to the bathroom."

Me: (eyes open looking at ceiling, recalling the last time I galloped anywhere)

Dash: (yelling from the bathroom) "I need new AA batteries in my Thomas, get up and go get the screwdriver."

Me: (roll out of bed, plod down the short hallway to the kitchen)

Dash: "Hurry up lady."

----Just when I thought I didn't "work" any longer......

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Thank You Notes

I am still playing catch up, after my journey, and found this over at My Life as a Military Spouse. Folks, grab a pencil and make sure you send this young man a letter thanking him...he certainly deserves it.


So we skipped The Festival of Samhain. Not because we didn't want to celebrate. The toddlers were tuckered out, they spent most of the early evening fussin. We also had a downpour. So I managed to get the tots to bed. I convinced Dear Husband to try the shine, and so we toasted those that have gone before us, and went to bed.

I felt bad, but we turned off the front lights, so the 80 trick or treaters we normally have would not spend the night ringing the doorbell. It would have sounded like Cathedrel bells otherwise. A very unusual Festival for Casa De Dust.

So as usual a day late and a dollar short....

"Halloween"Bonfires burning brightPumpkin faces in the night
I remember Halloween
Dead cats hanging from poles
Little dead are out in droves
I remember Halloween!
Brown leaved vertigo
Where skeletal life is known
I remember Halloween
This day anything goes!
Burning bodies hanging from poles
I remember Halloween!
Candy apples and razor blades
Little dead are soon in graves
I remember halloween
This day anything goes
Burning bodies hanging from poles
I remember Halloween

Reality check....

Really no need for one.

Yep I walked back right into "my life", just as I left. No warming up when you are a Mom. You are simply thrown into the depths of "it".

Today I take the "toddlers" in for flu shots.

Pink Ninja, seems ok with the idea of going to the Dr.

I had to warn "Dash" about said shots. He is not a fan of surprises.

Me: We have to go to the Dr. this morning.

Dash: I am not sick.

Me: We "all" need to get shots so we do not get sick.

Dash: That doesn't make sense, I am not sick. I am not going.

-----so I imagine there will be a good deal of kicking, screaming, and crying going on. And then I will have to deal with the kids.