Friday, September 30, 2005

Great Day with a teary ending......

The day here was a gorgeous one, I felt refreshed and renewed. I am happy I got a taste of fall. The toddlers and I went to the park, we had a lovely time, no one got into trouble. We had a picnic snack of juice and bananas, a 2 mile walk.

I got home to make my moms delicious oatmeal raisin cookies and I could not locate my Moms recipe. I am sick about it. My Mom didn't have much to leave her daughters , and her recipes are of great importance to me. I just saw the darn thing the other day, even showed it to Dear Husband. I was going to bake her cookies today. Hoping my house would smell like my Mom's house for a second. I was hoping I could sit and take a bite of a warm cookie, and hear her telling my Dad to get his "damn hands out of the cookies, you will have them all eaten before anyone else can get them."..........I will use a different recipe tonight, but I am not going to be happy about it. I am going to keep looking for it. Sigh*

I found a is sold out. I want a dress for a woman, I do not want a bridesmaid dress or a prom dress or a Mother of the bride dress....I want a lovely cocktail dress that is pretty and can be worn with my pearls......I do not want to look like a 35 year old trying to dress like a 20 year old. I want to look like a lady. I have to call Spiegel and find out who manufactured this dress.

I got an e-mail from Bou today, I dropped some tampons off over at her virtual Fiona last night because of this post.....Only to find out today that Fionna is passing away from from some horrible female tragedy. It hurt my heart to hear of her boys in tears....I will take flowers and brownies tonight.

Bat Guano Cookies

Yep another gross recipe, and just in time for Halloween.

Bat Guano Cookies

one 12-oz. package chocolate chips
one 12-oz. package butterscotch chips
1 cup cashew nuts
1 cup banana chips
one large can chow mein noodles

Mixing the Concoction:

Dump the chocolate and butterscotch chips into the microwave safe dish. Microwave for 1 minute, stir, then microwave for 1 more minute or until melted. Stir again. (Be sure to use those oven mitts, the bowl will be HOT!)
While the chips are melting, crumble up the banana chips.
Use your oven mitts to remove the bowl of melted chips from the microwave. Dump the chow mein noodles, nuts and banana chips into the mixture. Stir.
Drop clumps of the bat guano onto the cookie sheet.
Place the cookie sheet into the refrigerator until your bat guano is firm.
Nosh on some great guano!

What NOT to Wear

Search begins.....

Dear Husband is hosting a formal International Military event. Which means, I should be living on water and water for the next 24 days, which I will not EVER do. So now I need to find the perfect dress that will camaflouge the bad parts and enhance the good parts. Oh and on a budget folks. Ughhhh.

Formal events were easier when I was a size 5, and 24 years old.

Where is that bitchy lady and her very campy friend form "What Not to Wear" when I need them?

Ugly dress contest...

Ok folks time to enter a contest!!

You must e-mail me photos of YOU or YOUR significant other in a PROM or BRIDESMAID dress. Big 80's hair is not required, but it might help your cause. Shiny, metallic fabric will garner much attention, as will butt bows, gigantic bows on sleeves. If your dates cumberbund matches your dress we wanna see it.

The winner gets

1) an assortment of about 50 Iris, Canna, and Daffodil bulbs (not guaranteed to bloom)

2) the runner up gets a snazzy coupon holder.

All entries will be judged by my readers in the comments section.

*Now where did I put those pictures?*

Cold Snap

Ahhhhh....Last night before I went to bed, I turned off the air conditioning. It has been running since April. I woke this a.m. and it is 53 degrees out! Brrr...... and I love it. I am going to put coveralls on Pink Ninja, blue jeans on Dash, and after we go to the bank, we are going to the park. I am going to let them run and run. Then I am going to put them in the stroller and I am going to try to get a two mile walk in. I am never sure how long they will sit. They might like to sit today and look at all of the pretty trees.

Other big plans are to find my Mom's oatmeal and raisin cookie recipe. I want to spend the afternoon baking.

Today I am thrilled with the prospect of apple and pumpkin pie, fuzzy sweaters, leather jackets, down comforters, snuggling, my black leather gloves with fur at the cuffs, pumpkins on my porch, and brightly colored leaves, my bouclee suits, tall boots and more snuggling.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

When I am not Emma Peel I am....

Opera Diva Maria Callas

So Dear Husband and I are watching The Godfather, and it is the "Garden Party" scene, women in chiffon dresses are performing a small operetta. Dear Husband looks at me smiling and I say "what?" "I just know you want to be wearing a chiffon party dress and singing an aria."

He knows me too well.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Botticelli or Body jelly?

Today has been one of those days.

I used to be the thin gangly girl. I am 5'7 1/2 tall. I have been that height since I turned 16. Mostly "limbs" at that time. All arms and legs, gangly looking. I could eat ANYTHING back then and did not gain a pound. Graduated high school weighing a gaunt 98 pounds soaking wet. I was not class president, cheerleader, but the boys in class made me and my best girlfriend Presidents of "Itty Bitty committee".....Mean boys.

I went to college and drank enough beer, and gin to grow hips, and was only treasurer of "Itty Bitty committee" My weight was about 118 pounds.

I got married, and my weight stayed at 123 pounds at its highest for 10 years.

Stopped smoking ....Add pounds here.....

Got pregnant with Dash....Add pounds here...

Got pregnant with Pink Ninja.....Add more pounds here.....

So I have been trying to "get this extra poundage off". I do not like the way it looks. I made a deal with myself when Dear Husband returned from Iraq. I am going to give myself a year to WORK on my body, if I am still so deeply unsatisfied at the end of a year....I am getting a tummy tuck. End of Story. That is the deal I made myself. A very "VAIN" proposal I know. However, I will go ahead and take the vain, if it means I can look at pictures of me with my children and smile. I do not want to live my life hiding from a camera. I also am tired of reintroducing myself to those who do not recognize me.

The yolattes has been working. I feel stronger, weight is shifting. I do not know if I have lost weight, because I do not weigh myself, unless I am at the Dr. My once firm pretty tummy, is no longer pretty it tells a story of my 2 pregnancies. My pregnancy with Dash, when Dear Husband had to deploy, the pregnancy where my Mom was sick. The pregnancy I spent caring for my Mom, and sleeping next to her while she laid in the hospital bed we moved into her room. My tummy also tells the story of being pregnant with Pink Ninja, Dearest Husband being deployed. Sitting on the couch breathing through contractions and arriving at the hospital at nine centimeters dilated. Thinking I could breathe my way through all of the contractions for 18 more months....So he could share the moment with us.

The great thing that happened was breasts.....I never thought I cared about breasts, never minded being "itty". After all of the hormones, and weight gain, and breast feeding I learned the power of boobs.

They got attention, even in turtle necks , and I didn't mind it much, because I do believe the "boobs" took attention away from everything else that grew. I didn't mind people staring at my chest, because my jeans would have spit up on them, my hair was "growing out" from a self imposed short haircut I had my stylist give me, I had kleenex coming out of one hand and a can of lysol in the other, my skin was a mess from the breast feeding hormones. I was sleeping about 4 hours a night (not in a row) , and I looked like hell for months.

Soooo, with this exercising I have noticed they are disappearing. Bit by bit, they are returning to a less freakish size.

I am a little upset that I am losing the weight in all of the wrong places, my Tummy remains as proof of my plight as a Mom, a sort of Marsupial Pouch if you will.

I never thought I would say this, but I am sure gonna miss my larger boobs.

Digging in the dirt

I need to dig in my flower bed up front. There must be over 300 bulbs, a mixture of Cannas, Daffodils, and Iris. Too many for such a small space. The area needs a good thinning. I wonder how much work I can do before the Pink Ninja eats a bulb, or runs for the street.

What to do with all of these bulbs? Maybe a contest for ugliest bridesmaid, prom, or formal dress is in order?

The Open Face Sandwich Generation

I always thought I would be able to blame my gray hair on Pink Ninja, or Dash, or Dear Husbands deployments.

However, I think I will say at least 5 of my gray hairs (all of which are colored) are due to my Dear Parents. I have mentioned my Mother in previous posts, she battled Colon cancer for 2 1/2 years, the cancer eventually metastisized to her brain and she lost her battle. My Father has been diagnosed with heart disease since he was 47. Which has meant that I am "always, prepared for a weird phonecall re: his heart health". My Dad is STUBBORN, he also thinks being stubborn is "cute". He had the stint put in the other day, and got to go home about 16 hours later. Mind you I am about a 15 hour drive away, so I cannot enforce "rules". This is where his girlfriend has been taking over. Poor Thing.

My Father is 64, and should know better than to be such a Wisenheimer, Hanyach. (Weird jibberish my Mom used to call us. I know not what a Hanyach is-don't ask) He has threated to do something to violate his Drs. orders almost everyday. He he threatened to go back to work. Which wouldn't bother me, but he hates his factory job, works 12 hour shifts in a hot and humid building, and frankly after working the same job for 48 years and never using sick time allows you to recover from heart surgery. He has threatened to mow his manicured 1 1/4 acre lawn. He also has made it out of doors to chase some lowly group of moles that have infiltrated said lawn. He runs around with a pitchfork, and pokes it in their tunnels until he stabs them. I think this technique sounds cumbersome, but he is quick to remind me, he has "killed 8 of the son's of bitches this summer".

I have pleaded with him in several phonecalls this week. I finally reminded him of a story this week.......

When my Grandfather was about 83 years old, he spent a Fourth of July Day on the roof of his home replacing shingles. I would have been about 8 at the time. I remember we were eating dinner that night, and my Dad got one of those weird phonecalls, that left him drained looking. His stubborn Father was in the hospital with a nasty case of heat stroke. I remember my Dad being sick over it, and just plain mad. Where was his Father's common sense at? Why would an 83 year old man be on the roof on one of the hottest days of the year? (On a good note Grandpa recovered from his little incident)

Anyway, I reminded my Dad of this little gem of a story. I also threw in this little needle. "Your being stubborn just like your Dad".

He got quiet, and I think I bought myself 72 hours of my Dad lying low, or him sneaking around and doing crazy shit behind my back.

Auction Out

The Auction for Soldiers Angels is over. I imagine Suzanne is thrilled and trying to take a deep breath. The Grand total is around $1,100.

The good news is, I won a bog design!! Yeah!! I might wait until January, when Dash is no longer a toddler, because I will need a new moniker at that time as well. Now I need to come up with a design and a name...any ideas?

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

The ALWAYS Late Movie reviewer

For the past few nights, I have been hitting the hay early. Treating myself to movies I am 1-6 years late watching. Last night I viewed Spanglish. It was sooo worth watching, I will leave the quotes and leave the decision to watch it up to you.

"Lately, dear, your low self-esteem is just good common sense"

"This is the job, these are the decisions... When to push them, when to back them... Worrying about your children is sanity and being that sane can drive you nuts."

"If you don't stop talking I'm going to set my hair on fire and start punching myself in the face."

----and lastly, this line......

"They should name a gender after you. Just looking at you doesn't do it. Staring is the only way that makes any sense. And trying not to blink, so you don't miss anything. And all of that, and you're you."

Monday, September 26, 2005

Christmas Photo Card Practice Session #3

Although you may not think so, Christmas Cards need to be out SOON, I am sure this photo will not work. Yup, it is still hot out, 94 degrees today. We are ready for lower electric bills, and yes Bou I am also ready for apples too. Maybe by February huh?

Position of the week #3

Yo-Lattes class had this position to offer tonight. Along with news my instructor will be leaving. Very hard news for me. I do like my instructor, she has been been my yoga instructor for 3 years, she has been a good friend, she checks on me when I miss more than one class. I am used to the rhythm, and her method. She has been a good instructor.

So ode to you Teacher, enjoy your travels...Wherever they may take you.

tonight's Position is called Pigeon. Chest Out shoulders down.

*disclaimer* ArmyWife and those associated are not responsible for any injury that may occur while in or getting into said position.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Me "DOULA " Oblongata

Congratulations to the Patriette. Remember, to call these folks, if you need some help!!

I used Operation Doula with Dash. My Doula was a God send.

Operation Doula Care has been formed in response to the events of
September 11th, 2001. Doulas all over the United States have come
together to form America's first ever "Doula Reserve". Our mission is
to provide, FREE of charge, birth doula support to the pregnant wives
of U.S. Military men (Active Duty, Reservists, National Guard, Coast Guard)
that have been called up, deployed, injured or have become deceased
as a direct result of any military actions relating to the war against terrorism.

Please forward this to all of the Army Wives you know, they might need the support.


Rita danced through here last night, kicking up her heels and hiking up that skirt of hers. A few downed branches, that's all of the damage. Had a hard time sleeping, through the sound of feet stomping, and castanets.

Midwestern Folk Are Like That?

I was watching The Music Man with Dash, and forgot about this song.

Artist: Lyrics
Song: Iowa Stubborn Lyrics

Music: Meredith Willson
Lyrics: Meredith Willson
Book: Meredith Willson and Franklin Lacey
Premiere: Thursday, December 19, 1957

Oh, there's nothing halfway
About the Iowa way to treat you,
When we treat you
Which we may not do at all.
There's an Iowa kind of special
Chip-on-the-shoulder attitude.
We've never been without.
That we recall.
We can be cold
As our falling thermometers in December
If you ask about our weather in July.
And we're so by God stubborn
We could stand touchin' noses
For a week at a time
And never see eye-to-eye.
But what the heck, you're welcome,
Join us at the picnic.
You can eat your fill
Of all the food you bring yourself.
You really ought to give Iowa a try.
Provided you are contrary,
We can be cold
As our falling thermometer in December
If you ask about our weather in July.
And we're so by God stubborn
We can stand touchin' noses
For a week at a time
And never see eye-to-eye.
But we'll give you our shirt
And a back to go with it
If your crops should happen to die.

So, what the heck, you're welcome,
Glad to have you with us.

Farmer and Wife:
Even though we may not ever mention it again.

You really ought to give Iowa
Hawkeye Iowa
Dubuque, Des
Moines, Davenport, Marshalltown,
Mason City, Keokuk, Ames,
Clear Lake
Ought to give Iowa a try!

Saturday, September 24, 2005

If I were Emma Peel....

I would be spend the morning getting my next assignment over a cup of tea. I would spend the afternoon glancing seductively over my mink collar. I think the evening would be filled with cocktails over candlelight and poisonous lipstick.....

Friday, September 23, 2005

So you wanna be a ROCKSTAR?

It has been hotter than Hades here, which left us "house bound" for 2 days. Yesterday I thought it would be great if Dash and Pink Ninja would make "Get Well" cards for "Grampanio" (Dash calls Grandpa---Grampanio--it stuck).

Dash created the above "card" and titles it "Level 3 Power Grid". Interesting.

Pink Ninja, ran around with her mini-mullet, stuck a couple of crayons in her nose, and wrote on the table. She is such a ROCKSTAR, I just might change her moniker.

Hell on Heels....

Get over to Andi's place, and leave a note for our wounded who are at Walter Reed Hospital. It is Friday after all, and on Friday evenings Andi spends her time Supporting those who are healing inside!!

Thursday, September 22, 2005


Frank O'Hara - A Quiet Poem

When music is far enough away
the eyelid does not often move

and objects are still as lavender
without breath or distant rejoinder.

The cloud is then so subtly dragged
away by the silver flying machine

that the thought of it alone echoes
unbelievably; the sound of the motor falls

like a coin toward the ocean's floor
and the eye does not flicker

as it does when in the loud sun a coin
rises and nicks the near air. Now,

slowly, the heart breathes to music
while the coins lie in wet yellow sand.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Dad had surgery....

Well it has been a long day at Casa De Dust. Waiting..... The heart cath showed 2 arteries 70-90% blocked. So he had 2 stints put in today. He made it through the surgery and his only complaint is fatigue right now.

He will be attending cardiac rehab for the next 10 weeks.

So all is well for today. have 24 more hours!!

Get your tail over to THE AUCTION. Only 50 minutes left on a few items. 24 more hours of me begging you for money. YEAH!!!

Remember all proceeds go to Soldiers Angels Hurricane Relief.

Over $1,100 raised so far, so thank you for your bidding!!

There are 2 "blogger designs available". One is available for $50, the other a steal at $31. Run, run, fast as you can.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005


Well my Dad sounds ok, still up at the hospital, out of ICU and in a regular room. Nothing by mouth, until after the heart cath in the morning.

Thankful his even more stubborn girlfriend won the "battle" and got him into the hospital. You know how those men can be.

He has had a lot of company, and we made sure "we said what we needed said", over the phone...just in case.

Thank you for your supportive and kind words and e-mails letting me know he is included in your prayers tonight.


I was delighted that autumn is approaching. It was 100 degrees today, so I will pretend it is autumn in here.

"Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it,
and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth
seeking the successive autumns."
~By George Eliot~

Heart Sick

In my 35 years on this planet I have learned that there are more "bad calls" from the hospital, than "good calls".

Seems as if Dad does have some blockage, heart cath, and possible stint in the a.m.

So please get to praying folks.

My Father is in the hospital....

I got the phonecall yesturday at about 2:30pm. Ughhh. Chest Pain. My Father has heart disease. He also had 3 myocardial infarctions when he was 47. He quit smoking at that time, and had all of the corrective surgeries including a triple bypass. He has been healthy since that time.

Well they have been drawing cardiac enzymes, ran an EKG, and are comparing stress tests. So far, the reports I am getting are "normal", not enough to worry. Sounds like he might have pulled a muscle in the pectoral region which is causing pain.

I guess we will have to wait and see.

Prayers are always needed and appreciated.

Why buy the cow?

I have just calculated the childrens current milk consumption. If they maintain their current intake we will spend about $10,000 dollars on milk by the time they are 18. That figure is one I obtained without factoring in an increase in consumption or inflation.

How much is a gallon of milk in your hometown?

Position of the week #2

Last night I stayed in crow position from the time the instructor told us to get into crow, until everyone was done with position, and until the others were done trying. I was in crow for at least 3 minutes. Longest personal record EVER. YEAH for me.

I am in better shape than I have ever been in, although I am also at my heaviest non-pregnant weight. So I am strong, but look doughy and out of shape. Whooda thunk? Nature is cruel.

To get into crow, it is a weight shift, do not try and "jump".

*disclaimer* ArmyWifeToddlerMom and those assiciated are not responsible for any injury that may occur while you are attempting or in said position. As with any exercise regime, consult youe physician.

Monday, September 19, 2005

International Talk Like a Pirate Day, Something for EVERYONE.

Something for the kiddies.

I have been getting some practice in Pirate speak, thanks to this book. I would recommend it to those parents who like to ham it up at story time. The illustrations are great, and the story is cute. A great bedtime story.

Something for the drinkers.

Something for the ladies.

Something for the perverts.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Do I hear 25? Who will give me 30?

Auction Update!! Folks you only have 4 more days to bid on books, and blog designs!! Go over there and outbid me already, I DARE you. These books are all signed, and would make a great gift for a girlfriend, a blogger, someone at the office, your wife, or your Aunt. The blog design, a great gift for anyone that has an ugly blog, and is stuck in blogger.

Remember all proceeds go to Soldiers Angels Hurricane Relief!!!

Get the word out!! Our Men and Women could use our help!!

Stop in and tell Suzanne, thank you for organizing this community of writers!!

Going to D.C.?

Our Nation's Wounded could use some supportive words, and your presence is needed.
Go over to Andi's place for details .

Thanks Andi for your participation, keeping the blogosphere updated, and letting us hear the real story behind Code Pink.

Dash KNOWS the alphabet

The following is a transcription of events that occurred yesturday....

*disclaimer* the events are once again related to potty training, and toileting. If you are tired of my "poop stories", it would be in your best interests to click on your left arrow now.

Dash: (winded, after running to find me) "Mom, you are never going to believe this, come look."

Me: "Believe what?"

Dash: (grabbing my hand and pulling me to the bathroom) "I pooped a letter J".

Me: "You sure did".



Please stop in at Lee Ann's place, and give them a hooooah!!

Saturday, September 17, 2005

My Favorite Days are different now...

My Favorite Season used to be Winter go figure. Maybe I watched Dr. Zhivago too many times. I prefer Fall now.

Spring and Fall release days of the Speigal Catalog...ahhh I used to love those days. A fresh catalog, a cup of coffee and any chocolate, and I would be content for hours at a time, perusing the pages. Not so much any more, I have no where to wear "new clothes", I note some of the pages are missing, and there are pages where models are missing faces, and shoes have been scribbled out with bright purple crayon.

Oh and the other favorite day was "FALL BACK"...You know the day when we Midwestern folks could set the clock back and get an extra hour of sleep. The decadence of the extra hour. I imagine I will wake at 5am this year, the children are too young to notice the luxury of it all.

However, today was one of my favorite NEW kind of morning. Almost cool when we woke up, the kids and I went for a walk. They picked beautiful leaves off of the ground in shades of faded yellow green and hunters orange. They held hands. We went down to the school yard and I held onto the backs of their pants as they attempted to climb on the monkey bars. The sky was brilliant blue, and gas was $2.69. The toddlers threw their empty juice boxes in the garbage at the park, without being prompted.

Ode to the Tomato

I love fall, but I will miss tomatoes.....

Home Grown Tomatoes

There's nothin' in the world that I like better than
Bacon, lettuce and home grown tomatoes
Up in the morning and out in the garden
Pick you a ripe one, don't get a hard 'un
Plant 'em in the springtime eat 'em in the summer
All winter without 'em's a culinary bummer
I forget all about the sweatin' and the diggin'
Every time I go out and pick me a big'un

Home grown tomatoes, home grown tomatoes
What'd life be without home grown tomatoes
There's only two things that money can't buy
That's true love and home grown tomatoes

You can go out and eat 'em, that's for sure
But there's nothin' a home grown tomato won't cure
You can put 'em in a salad, put 'em in a stew
You can make your own, very own tomato juice
You can eat 'em with eggs, you can eat 'em with gravy
You can eat 'em with beans, pinto or navy
Put em on the side, put em on the middle
Home grown tomatoes on a hot cake griddle

If I could change this life I lead
You could call me Johnny Tomato Seed
I know what this country needs
It's home grown tomatoes in every yard you see
When I die don't bury me
In a box in a cold dark cemetery
Out in the garden would be much better
Where I could be pushin' up home grown tomatoes

Written by Guy Clark (Who obviously loves tomatoes as much as I do)

Christmas Photo Card Practice Session #2

Please note the children are

a. not poopy
b. not hitting one another
c. not crying

They are smiling the cheeziest grins....

Friday, September 16, 2005

How to clean poop off of carpet in 3 easy steps.

As The Mayor of Poopville, I feel it imperative to share the following cleaning tip.

Pink Ninja, is in the process of toilet raining, and becoming a nudist...go figure.

I am sorry to report, she has had a couple of accidents. One in front of friends. (Thanks, Pink Ninja for keeping Mom's coolness factor in check, I am sure I did not need the help). The other accident apparently "happenned" sans witnesses.

First of all I tried using "resolve" brand. It does not work.

Googleing "how to clean baby poop off of carpet", only leads to finding other Moms with the same problem.

I did find this GEM

Anyway, when I was a nurse I recalled using hydrogen peroxide to remove fresh blood out of my white uniform hundreds of times. So I tested the carpet in the closet to see if it would bleach or fade the color. Carpet was fine.

1)So remove all of the "solid waste".

2)Apply peroxide.

3)gently dab area with a white cloth.

There are sooo many lessons I would prefer not learning.

*disclaimer* ArmyWifeToddlerMom and those associated are not responsible for any ruined carpet, PLEASE test area first!!

If this is NEWS to you.....


It is OUR personal responsibility to be prepared.

What about your medical preparedness?

Everything else?

I know we are always adding something to our supplies...

Get Up, Stand up.....

A couple of days ago I read this over at Air Force Family.

I have tears every time I hear this song. The first time it happened, I was 19 and dating a boy who was stationed down at Fort Bliss. Well I married that young man, and I still get a tear in my eye when I hear it.

I also think you owe it to yourself to go see Some Soldiers Mom . She writes about attending a memorial service for one of our fallen SGT. Matthew Bohling. She writes this with such great care, and poignancy.

Thank You SGT. Bohling.....

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Go ahead, make my day.......

It is a good thing yesturday treated me so nicely, because today has been a yucky and lonnnggg one, so get your tails over to the auction and make me smile!!

Total Bidding approx $1100!!

Get over to the AUCTION.

There a few books, that are signed, and remain at the low price of $2.25!!!! What a great gift for yourself, good bath time reading.

What about the blog designs, for those of you in the ugly Blogger-hood like me. I have got my bid in, and am waiting for someone to out-bid me.

Don't forget all proceeds go to SOLDIERS ANGELS HURRICANE RELIEF!!

Position of the week......

Rolling eyes at her readers......

you people.

Yo-Lattes kicked my obliques this week.

Try this one folks, and hold in your abs, and don't let your hips sag.

*disclaimer: ArmyWifeToddlerMom, or those associated, are not responsible for injuries acquired while attempting said position. As always, consult a physician before beginning any exercise routine.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

It rained today

and we sure needed it. We haven't had a drop in over a month. When I walk through the grass, I can feel it crunch beneath me. The trees are loosing leaves prematurely. The weeping river birch is almost bare. When, and if the wind blows, it looks like fall, leaves flying through the air. The heat reminds me it is summer here.

So Dash, Pink ninja and I were in the house today, we played, and talked. Pink Ninja, is trying her darndest to potty train. However, refuses to wear her diaper, or pants of any sort still. In fact I think she would prefer to be naked all of the time. When Pink ninja went down for a nap, I laid on the floor with Dash and held him, we watched a movie, and he talked to me. He wanted definitions of the following words.


We sang

Pop goes the Weasel
Itsy Bitsy Spider
You are my Sunshine

He pretended to take my nose off of my face and eat it, and then would pretend to take it out of his mouth and put it back...

We had a good day.....

I don't give a Hoot.....

It is football Season, which means tailgating, football parties.... and ya better have a couple of good recipes in your repitoire. This is a recipie called...

Just Like Hooters Hot WIngs

Vegetable oil (for frying )
1/4 cup butter
1/3 cup Crystal Louisiana Hot Sauce
1/4 teaspoon ground pepper
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon paprika
1/3 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt
10 chicken wing pieces

On the side
Bleu cheese dressing
Celery sticks

Heat oil in a deep fryer to 375 degrees F. You want just enough oil to cover the wings entirely - an inch or so deep at least.

Combine the butter, hot sauce, ground pepper and garlic powder in a small saucepan over low heat. Heat until the butter is melted and the ingredients well-blended.

Combine the flour, paprika, cayenne pepper and salt in a small bowl.

If the wings are frozen, be sure to defrost and dry them. Put the wings into a large bowl and sprinkle the flour mixture over them, coating each wing evenly. Put the wings in the refrigerator for 60 to 90 minutes. (This will help the breading to stick to the wings when fried.)

Put all the wings into the hot oil and fry them for 10 to 15 minutes or until some parts of the wings begin to turn dark brown.

Remove the wings from the oil to a paper towel to drain. But don't let them sit too long, because you want to serve the wings hot.

Quickly put the wings into a large bowl. Add the hot sauce and stir, coating all of the wings evenly. You could also use a large plastic container with a lid for this. Put all the wings inside the container, add the sauce, put on the lid, then shake. Serve with bleu cheese dressing and celery sticks on the side.

Have your Husband put on his favorite orange shorts, and white tank top and serve!!

Auction Update!!

$977.00 in bidding as of a couple of moments ago!!

Hey get over there.

I know you want to.

Buy a signed book for you favorite Aunt for Christmas.

Buy your favorite blogger a new "skin".

Outbid me on a blog design...I dare you!!

Stop in and see Suzanne, and tell her thanks for gathering these great donations, and organizing this!!

Remember all proceeds go to Soldiers Angels Hurricane Relief Fund!!

Let our Military men and women know, we will always take care of those- that care of us.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

HARVEY is 39 today!!

Go over and wish my Blog-Grandpa a happy 39th. He has been begging for photos of "cleavage".

He does it here, the original birthday warning.

Then here.

Again here.....

UPDATE: still begging
It seems it is all he can think about these days.

I have been looking and looking Harvey, and so I called my friend Cammie, and since I am sure you were not requesting to see "mine", and since this site is probably "R" due to language. Cammie did me a favor, had her boyfriend take a picture of her. Isn't she cute, very girl next door, if you know what I mean. Scroll down Harv!

Allergies, Yo-Lattes, and Weird Dreams......

The mystery of the "Clumsy Me" has been solved. My head is full of mucus. My head feels full, and an awful sense of vertigo. Allergies, have hit early, and yes I was in denial. It has been dry as a bone around here, and it would seem to me everything is dead or dying, so there should be nothing to be allergic to. Jokes on me. I can medicate myself for the next 2-3 months. Which I loathe.

I did manage to make it to "Yo-lattes" class last evening. I could not go last week due to sprained ankle. So I went. I will add this, I do not like the blended yoga and pilates class. I am a yoga purist. I do not like to see it mixed with other practices. The breathing is different, the mindset is different. I go because it is 5 minutes away from the house, and this bod needs something. I like the pilates too, I just think they should be kept separate. I keep waiting for "my core", to look like it did prior to Pink and Dash......

Finally, for the last two weeks the night has riddled me with the strangest dreams.

1) Dear Husband and David Lee Roth at a "hospital mall", talking about starting a band and going on the road.

2) Pulpy post apocalyptic dreams, where we are survivalists living in the woods somewhere.

3) Last night I went to the Grammy awards with Christina Aguillara, Somehow Harvey was there, and we got in a ketchup and mustard fight at a pre-Grammy dinner.

Bid on some Skin......

That Suzanne out did herself on this auction!! She now has 2 blog designs up for auction!! I am going over right now!! I know some of you are just tired of my pink.
The blog designs were graciously donated by Ciao My Bella...Thanks!! So get over there NOW!! All Proceeds of Auction are going to Soldiers Angels Hurricane Relief!!

UPDATE: We have over $800.00 in bidding!!! YEAH!!!!

Monday, September 12, 2005

Auction UP!!

Suzanne, is one of those ladies I have met through the blogosphere. She is a Romance writer, which is a genre I have never read. I am a reader of her blog, she is a daughter of a Veteran, a Mom, and her husband was a Navy man.

When hurricane Katrina struck, Suzanne, really wanted to DO something to benifit our Military men and women. So she graciously put together an auction on e-bay. Several of her friends are also writers, and they have donated signed copies of their books for auction. Suzanne Brockman, a New York Times best-seller, offerred one of her books as well. All proceeds are going to Soldiers Angels. I think Suzanne did a great job on this, so go over and do some Christmas shopping for your girlfriend that needs a little romance PLEASE!!! Proceeds are for our guys an gals!!!!

UPDATE: Already over $300.00 in bidding, WAY TO GO!!!

Update: Sept 12 9:00pm.....Over 600.00 in bidding for SOLDIERS ANGELS...YEEE HAW!!!

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Mad Hatter

I always think I am a fashion forward kind of lady, however the resurgance of the floppy hat is no good for me. It conjures up images of Hippies, the Manson family, my Mom at her sister's wedding in 1972(floppy hat with blue ribbon, and a orange polka dot floor length dress). I think the only person that should be able to wear the floppy hat is Stevie Nicks.....

---Orgins of Mad Hatter

Few people who use the phrase today realise that there’s a story of human suffering behind it; the term actually derives from an early industrial occupational disease. Felt hats were once very popular in North America and Europe; an example is the top hat. The best sorts were made from beaver fur, but cheaper ones used furs such as rabbit instead.
A complicated set of processes was needed to turn the fur into a finished hat. With the cheaper sorts of fur, an early step was to brush a solution of a mercury compound—usually mercurous nitrate—on to the fur to roughen the fibres and make them mat more easily, a process called carroting because it made the fur turn orange. Beaver fur had natural serrated edges that made this unnecessary, one reason why it was preferred, but the cost and scarcity of beaver meant that other furs had to be used.
Whatever the source of the fur, the fibres were then shaved off the skin and turned into felt; this was later immersed in a boiling acid solution to thicken and harden it. Finishing processes included steaming the hat to shape and ironing it. In all these steps, hatters working in poorly ventilated workshops would breathe in the mercury compounds and accumulate the metal in their bodies.
We now know that mercury is a cumulative poison that causes kidney and brain damage. Physical symptoms include trembling (known at the time as hatter’s shakes), loosening of teeth, loss of co-ordination, and slurred speech; mental ones include irritability, loss of memory, depression, anxiety, and other personality changes. This was called mad hatter syndrome.
It’s been a very long time since mercury was used in making hats, and now all that remains is a relic phrase that links to a nasty period in manufacturing history. But mad hatter syndrome remains common as a description of the symptoms of mercury poisoning.
World Wide Words is copyright © Michael Quinion, 1996–2005.

Hear me now?

I washed Dear Husbands cell phone tonight.....

I am on a roll.


I was at work the morning of September 11th, I was pregnant with Dash, and passing out the morning breakfast to my patients in the dining room. Whatever morning "news" show Katie Couric is on, was on the big screen in the dining room.

I heard the report that a plane had just flown into the WTC, and I knew. While listening to the TV personalities speculate, while showing footage of the WTC burning, I watched the second plane.

I stood in the dining room one hand on my growing belly with tears in my eyes, and feeling like I was going to vomit.

I knew at that minute, the World was a different place.

After my 12 hour shift was over, and on the drive home.... oh how I couldn't wait to be home.

On the drive home, I saw freshly hung flags, and freshly painted signs made by young and old hands.

I was so proud of US.

For the families and friends of those lost on that day, I want you to know...Our flag is fresh, and we have not forgotten your loved ones, or your grief. A grief that is so different than most of us will ever know, I know not how it will ever be resolved.

Dear Husband and I are still believers in making the World a better place, even if it is one bad guy at a time.


While the storm clouds gather far across the sea,
Let us swear allegiance to a land that's free,
Let us all be grateful for a land so fair,
As we raise our voices in a solemn prayer:

God Bless America.
Land that I love
Stand beside her, and guide her
Thru the night with a light from above.
From the mountains, to the prairies ,
To the oceans, white with foam
God bless America
My home sweet home.

God Bless America,
Land that I love
Stand beside her,
And guide her,
Through the night
With the light from above,
From the mountains,
To the prairies,
To the ocean,
White with foam,
God bless America,
My home sweet home.
God bless America,
My home sweet home.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Turn on, Tune in, Drop out....

Another story of humiliation from Casa De Dust........

Dear Husband and I have a good friend that has been on "hurricane duty" for the last week or so, we invite him over to watch Nebraska kick Wake Forests ass, dinner, and drinks.

Dash goes to bed at his usual time.

Pink Ninja fascinated with her new skill of peeing on the potty, doesn't want clothes on, because she might have to pee NOW!!

So I let her run bare butt, against my better judgment.

I am in the Master Bedroom, finding her pajamas when I hear Dear Husband screaming


I walk into the living room and find Pink Ninja sobbing, Dear Husband horrified, Company stunned, and 2 big turds on the carpet.

Just when you think you are "the cool people" to hang out with......


I am simply shocked that Eric prefers leather pants over skirts during Oktoberfest!!

Friday, September 09, 2005

If I were Emma Peel....

I would have been on the beach, in a metallic bikini, with Steed. We would be having cocktails and discussing the next mission in detail. A car chase, a foreign operative? Contrive Dear contrive....

So if we can't be the Avengers.......

We now have a plan D. for the future.....I won't share A-C, it would bore you. I think Dear Husband and I are going to go down to Hawaii. We have this great plan about growing our hair, into his and her mullets, becoming bail bondsman, wearing all black, and taking care of the meth problem in a "renegade" kind of way. I just have to get a boob job, and figure out how to run in 5 inch heels.

Why Soldiers are soldiers....

Go over to Andi's World, and read this. That is why.


I imagine Seawitch, never thought her name would fit so well. She needs some help locating family after Katrina. Please go over and see what you can do.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Shoe envy

One of the first pair of shoes I can recall, are actually boots. A very ugly pair of black, utilitarian black rubber boots, with 3 or 4 black metal clasps that would jangle when unhooked. These horrid black boots also had some sort of black insulation on the inside that was fully visible. I can recall the day they were bought, it was snowing outside, and my Mother and I went over the the TSC (Tractor Supply Company). I do not recall her telling me why we were at TSC, or what we were there for, and then she took me to the boots, the boys boots.

My Mom handed a size bigger to me and asked me to try them on, they were big, and that was ok. We both koew they would have to last. I hated them though, they were the ugliest boots I had ever seen. I was 10, and the girls in my class had the white shiny boots, with the fur on top and the big fluffy pom-poms. Oh how I wanted a pair of those very Barbie looking boots. I wanted to be just like every other 10 year old girl.

The other bad news here was, my Mother had taken me in for a haircut over the Christmas holiday, and now my long hair, was cut in a "pixie". Adorable to my Mother and her beautician....not so adorable to me.

So take a 10 year old scrawny girl, give her a pixie haircut, a pair of ugly black farm boots, and a boys down jacket......I walked into the new classroom, and I hear these words from my new teacher Mrs. Brown.

"Oh I thought we were getting a girl?"

That is how I was introduced to people I would be spending 5,6,7 and eight grade class with at that little country school.

I don't recall much about the first week or so at the new school. I spent most of my time staring out the window watching it snow.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Happy Birthday Boudicca......

What do you get someone that fights hurricanes, lives with a "ball of noise", a Den Mother, a Wife, a community volunteer? You unplug her, and send her away for 4 days...Although I think the first 2 days might be hard for her....Maybe just maybe she could recharge....For 2 days....So although I can't actually send you away, I would if I could. Happy Birthday!!

Update: Went downtown, and exchanged your spa trip, for a half naked Johnny Depp, and really it was a hard choice, young Johnny, Johnny with glasses looking smart, looking kooky with a hat, looking oh sooo piraty with his swahbuckler self....but this gave me a good excuse to post this one. If you don't like it, I can exchange it after tommorow.....for yet another one....

Christmas Photo Card Practice Session #1

Last Years Christmas photo card showed Pink Ninja looking naughty, and Dash looking worried, however it was the only shot I managed to get with them both sitting down and one or the other not screaming.

So I have decided to start practicing early this year. This photo, was the best out of 4. Yeah, I know we are in trouble. To have 2 toddlers sit and look pleasant for 1 minute, while not screaming, or hitting, or moving, or poking, or kicking, turning their head around. I know, I know, it sounds like it should be EASY.....

Chocolate Chambord Cake.......

It has been a long week, and I am going to take Tammi, and Boudicca's lead....that's right CHOCOLATE......

Two of my favorite things combined......

Flourless Chocolate Chambord Cake

10 Ounces semisweet chocolate; -chopped or 1 2/3 cup chocolate chips
2 Ounces unsweetened -chocolate; chopped
3/4 Cup Unsalted Butter/Cut In -12 Pcs
1/3 Cup water
6 eggs
1 Cup granulated sugar
1 Teaspoon vanilla extract
3 Tablespoons Chambord
or other raspberry liqueur
sweetened whipped cream

Preheat oven to 325 degrees; grease and flour a 9-inch springform pan. Melt the semisweet chocolate, unsweetened chocolate and butter with the water in a medium saucepan over low heat, stirring with a wire whisk until smooth. Cool slightly.

In a large mixing bowl, beat the eggs, sugar and vanilla extract on high speed for 10 minutes. Fold in the chocolate and liqueur. Transfer the batter to the prepared pan.

Place the pan in a shallow baking pan. Bake for 35 to 40 minutes, or until the cake is slightly puffed on the outer one-third of the top and the center doesn't shake when you move the pan gently. The cake should feel firm all over, except in the center.

Remove the springform pan to a wire rack to cool for 20 minutes. Loosen and release the sides of the pan, but leave the cake in the pan until completely cool. Remove the cake from the pan. Cover and chill for 6 to 48 hours.

Serve with whipped cream. Store in the refrigerator. Note:

This fudgy cake will dip in the center after it is baked. Disguise this by filling the center with whipped cream and fruit, if you like.

What's your problem?

You're either part of the problem, or part of the solution."
-Eldridge Cleaver

Good Morning Gracie....

The great thing about Dear Husbands bike....I can hear him pulling into the driveway. I have taken to meeting him in the garage with a kiss. Well about three days ago I was standing alone, (trying to look as sweet and coy as a 35 tear old Mom can) in the garage when he pulled in, gave him a big kiss, turned around and slipped and fell off of the step. It was not a pretty fall, and I happened to land shin down on a case of canned emergency food supplies. Fuck!! I did manage to hold my Iced Tea glass, which was full...and did not spill a drop. The good news is, Dear Husband did not laugh his ass of, which he could have, and I knew he wanted to.

Well that same evening I was mopping the kitchen floor when I went to climb over the baby gate, and I slipped. I once again managed to regain composure, after using weird muscles that are not meant for using around my pelvis. I swear I pulled something.

The saga continues ....Yesterday, while out in the yard chasing the children my left ankle went out, and I went down. Just fell down like a dork. I am not sure how long I was down....But lets just say it was a while. The pain was nauseating, and I seriously debated calling Dear Husband home from work. Eventually I shook it off, thanked God for a privacy fence...And was able to hobble around. However I am sure it is sprained, swelling has gone down considerably, slight bruising. Anti-inflammatory meds , and ice do the trick when it gets to botherin' me.

I just want to know what the problem is, I never trip, or fall.....But this week, I look like I have been on some sort of drinking binge... Bruised, limping, and not my usual foxy self....

Just Damn....


Well it is time for Karnival of Kidz...again!! Sissy did a great job, especially considering her schedule right now.

While we are thinking about the kids, why not go over to Boudicca's place, and make a contribution to the children of Katrina. I am sure our schools are going to need the help.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Tonight on T.V.

If you have time tonight, turn into FOX news at 9:00pm CST for Greta Van Sustren. One of the Arkansas National Guardsman Joel Lynch will be giving an interveiw.

Bugging Out?

I grew up in the Midwest, third generation American, from working poor and blue collar folks. I grew up in the land of blizzards, summer gardens, and preparedness. My Mom canned whatever she could grow, and nothing tasted better in December than chilli made with home canned tomatoes. I grew up learning that you NEVER let your gas tank get below 1/2 full, you had better pack emergency items in your vehicle, and if it is going to storm you fill your bathtubs full of water. This sort of advice may not have helped those that did not evacuate the Gulf Coast, but emergency preparedness is something to think about.

Here is a great reference you can use, they even have lists of needs according to your type of disaster. Backwoodshome magazine. One of my favorite magazines. It is full of practical advice, recipes, and lifestyle suggestions. There is a great article online this month about BUG OUT Claire Wolff. Here is another, list of great references. While you may have a better list, or suggestions to add, I think this list is a great place to start for those of you that may not have an emergency kit.

Dear Husband has always preached to me the benefits of emergency preparedness, and the great need for every American to have a 72 hour emergency kit(at LEAST). For my lifetime, I have had people all around me, touting the benefits of being prepared. While I would shake my head in agreement, I myself have never had to live through any sort of disaster. So I am going to say this now.....50% of my brain knew preparedness was important, but 50% of my brain was saying "boy they are sure paranoid". Guess what, I am paranoid now.

Monday, September 05, 2005

General Honore

Dear Husband got to meet the General a couple of times when Dear husband was a fresh Lt. He said this about him "he never used a microphone, he didn't need one".

I think he said what we all want to say this afternoon, didn't he?

He seems exactly like the kind of leader we need in the military. I am not sure how he made it so far, sometimes I think they like head nodders, and cow-towers. Once in a while they let one of the good ones slip through, and I am glad.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Someday baby.......

Someday, when the work is done.......

Labor of Love....

Labor Day, according to Wikipedia......

Labor Day is a United States federal holiday that takes place on the first Monday of September.

The origins of the American Labor Day can be traced back to the Knights of Labor in the United States and a parade organized by them on September 5, 1882 in New York City. In 1884 another parade was held, and the Knights passed resolutions to make this an annual event. Other labor organizations (and there were many), but notably the affiliates of the International Workingmen's Association, many of whom were socialists or anarchists, favoured a May 1 holiday. With the event of Chicago's Haymarket riots in early May of 1886, president Grover Cleveland believed that a May 1 holiday could become an opportunity to commemorate the riots. Thus, fearing that it might strengthen the socialist movement, he quickly moved in 1887 to support the position of the Knights of Labor and their date for Labor Day.

So we celebrate here by doing a pre-fall clean up.....with Dear Husband slaving over the "Casa De Dust"

Honey-Do List

Rake out flower beds (all 4,700 sq, feet of them)

Pull weeds (out of above noted flower beds)

Sweep pine needles off of roof

Trim 18 holly bushes



Pressure Wash house

Pull up moss roses, and weeds from mail box

Plant gorgeous bright yellow mums at mail box

Rake front yard

Rake back yard

Water lawn

Water trees

Sweep driveway

Pile 35 bags of lawn waste on the corner

Too think, he was to celebrate Labor Day by watching a parade and resting....

Thanks babe, it looks beautiful.

Help Found


Suzanne worked hard and figured things out on e-bay.....Auction for this great cause will be soon. Don't wait for the auction....go give NOW!!!

Saturday, September 03, 2005

If Momma Ain't Happy

-------nobody is happy.


I stopped in here and read this.

Air Force Family, gave the right kind of advice.

When your husband is deployed, and YOU are IT. Well, you better take care of yourself, because if you go down, there will be no one but Jesus to pick you up. I promise. So wives, do yourselves a favor and try and make things simple.

1) Give the babies a bath every other night, unless of course they are filthy.

2) Clean as you go.

3) Enlist the help of your children, they like to be helpful. I let the children help wash mirrors, and tv, and doors. I spray a little vinegar on the surface and have them wipe. They will be proud, especially if you praise them for their efforts.

4) It is ok to use paper plates and order in every once in a while.

5) Call your long distance company, and see what sort of inclusive long distance plans they have. We have SBC, and I pay one low price for ALL of my long distance. Have a friend you can squawk to, someone you can cry to. Someone that you can trust.

6) A hot bath or shower at bedtime is your friend. Do it when the kids are in bed, so you are not interupted, and have no audience.

7) Take a break from the news, girls I don't know what it is, but we are worriers, and want to fix everything. Women will stay up all night trying to solve the Worlds problems. Guess what you cannot, try NOT to watch the news at night.

8) The hardest thing-----ACCEPT HELP!!! I know, I sucks to need help, but go ahead and accept it. People love to feel like they have helped, and you deserve it.

9) Make a point to GO TO BED. I know you have stuff to do, and there is no time to do it when the kids are running amuck, but guess what those kids want you there in the morning with a smile on your face. Let tham know Momma is HAPPY.

Come on folks, I know you have great ways to keep HAPPY let us hear them....


If someone has ever done any sort of e-bay auctioning let me know, especially if you have done it through "mission fish"....I need someone to talk me through some things......

We have gotten some BIG donations, including manuscript critiques, web designs, and one best selling New York Times author...I am seriously in desparate mode. This money is needed.

E-mail me, please.

I know these men and women need our help.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Sister For Sale

I am sure if Dash could he would......We finally got Dash's Thomas the Tank Yearbook in the mail today. This was a big deal. Dash who is meticulous about his belongings, specifically this yearbook. (He has carried around said wishbook since before his Father was Deployed.) Well Pink Ninja took it right from his hands the other day, and tore it to shreds. I taped the darn thing back together, but he was mad and hurt. So we logged on to the computer and wrote a letter to learning curve,, and they sent one A.S.A.P.

Yes, she got in trouble, but look at that face. It is hard being stern with such a sad looking child. Especially when you want to smooch those cheeks...

For Sale

One sister for sale!

One sister for sale!

One crying and spying young sister for sale!

I’m really not kidding,

So who’ll start the bidding?

Do I hear the dollar?

A nickel?

A penny?

Oh, isn’t there, isn’t there, isn’t there any

One kid that will buy this old sister for sale,

This crying and spying young sister for sale?

Written by: Shel Silverstein


Yep that's right I am putting a sign out front. A neon sign at that. You know how the blogosphere works....

I have met a woman from my little blog here, she is a daughter of a veteran, a writer, a Christian...And a Mom. I popped in her blog yesterday and mentioned she might want to sign a few books and auction them off for Katrina relief, with proceeds going to Soldiers Angels. UPDATE: Suzanne also let me know she is a former Navy Wife 6 years.......

Well before you know it, she calls a friends, who calls a friend...and we have several writers willing to donate books, web designers willing to donate blog designs, we even have people willing to donate candles and crafts.......

The problem is this. Suzanne and I both are technologically challenged. We can blog and e-mail by chance. So we are unsure if we should set up an auction on e-bay, on blogger, on my site? Do we set up a pay pal account that is for soldiers angels.....?

So it looks like we will need help implementing the WORK part of this.....

I am also looking for more donations.....

Anyone with time, energy, tech skills, and a patient and honest heart is welcome....

If I were Emma Peel....

I would run over to Soldiers Angels and give to those, who have given of themselves...