Lessons From Orange And Yellow Hills

My trip to the hills out East, brought many lessons.....

First of all a Good Husband knows when his Dear Wife has a severe case of ArmyWifeToddlerMom burn out. For recognizing, the only cure was an 8 hour drive, a good drunk, meeting new people, and 72 hours of "off duty, potty mouthin...instead of potty training. I thank you....Really. I will return the favor.

Second, yes you Mr. "Song of The South".... SWG...Reading you really is like music to me. For showing me a grand time, at your lovely home, the delicious ribs, the pool lesson, good company. That jar of "pure butter" you sent back, yeah like butter...Melts the entire way down. Melts, like the lovely Fiona's voice. Who by the way, I adore already. Please thanks her again, and again.

"Rockstars" still have to take out the trash like the rest of us. Thanks for all of your hard work, and I know it isn't getting easier. For making sure I wasn't drinking alone thank you.... For all you do, I thank you. On days like today, when the news is bad, and all you want to do is take your little ones trick or treating. We thank you. Next time we will toast to "better news".

Traveling from far distances, can be a great punishment to the beautiful blue eyed Sissy. For reminding me of my age by not knowing who any of my favorite heroines are, I thank you!! Who is Angie Dickinson? Ahhh the 70's, were they that long ago?

Gorgeous creatures come in small packages. Class act. Thanks for driving my moonshined filled tummy through the hills. Mr. Voice is a lucky man as well, your spirit is gorgeous. I have no idea how your tiny little body managed that garage door, you must have super powers, in addition to your "current powers". I am so glad you brought gorgeous, hilarious Morrigan. She almost made me pee my pants. Tell Hubba, thanks for reminding me to empty my bladder regularly.

Yes Darlin, I do have "the vapors", perhaps it was the absinthe? Yeah, you cracked me up....my ribs hurt. Your wit was way to fast on a night where I had consumed so much--booze.

Very Wise, very quiet, but off course there was some crazy fight club in dem dar hills, and we all know what the first rule of fight club is....shhhhhh. Blood pressure my ass. The hospital probably had fight club in the E.R. as well.

Contagious laughter, a great listening ear, fantastic voice, cooking skills, and can serenade the ladies.... Thank you for bringing your guitar, and the kazoo. Your recipes, have my mouth watering, and my oven warming up. You were very welcoming.

The lovely tall blonde, with a penchant for hats. Sorry I moved for the photo, but really, a "Mom" standing next to the tall thin blonde..... I may be crazy, but I am not insane. She brought her non-blogging husband to see what all of the fuss was about, ta-dah. I bet he has a blog next week.

Joisey Jim, and his great "Furookin hair". A regular renaissance man with his guitar playing, music singing, forensic, chemistry, lawyer, Army, city boy charm. All of that and the accent, and ballroom dance trophies too. Me and my "truwk" and city Jimbo, couldn't be more different. I already miss the accent. Please start audio blogging.

The longest.....eyelashes I have ever seen belong to the Elvis sunglass wearing, blonde mulleted Zonker. Yeah, the name pretty much says it all.


Just to be gracious Redneck came, and also brought his "truwk". Ahhh, no need for me to be the only redneck around. Please do not let this country boy fool ya, that slooow drawling Southern boy, was quick. Very quick witted, and he caught me off guard everytime. Charming.

I also met RSM, and hadn't been over to read his blog, however, stopped over ASAP, and really loved it. A nice place to go, and unwind.

Mr. and Mrs. Bad Example showed up Saturday. TNT is exactly that. A little stick of dynamite. I have begged them to arm wrestle in the past. However TNT did better than that. She lifted Harvey right off the ground. Damn girl. I hope you like the new "plank", it is a great move for the tri-ceps. Although yours do not need help. Harvey had brought cigars, for everyone, and I was so surprised that he showed up sans crown.


The collective known as the Donovans were there. Beth and I shared a couple of swigs, and of course since she is the Mother of the Recipe Carnival, and I am a fan. We seriously tried to think of a recipe for the carmel/butterscotch drink. I forget if we decided it was brownies, or ice cream. I think both. Keep an eye on those felines.....I am just saying, they can be sneaky creatures. Arrghh.

Was nice to meet the Royal Cat, ended up right next door at the hotel. I tried to wake her up with Dr. Dre on Saturday morning......didn't phase her. Study hard, and we got your back. Another single beautiful blogger....oh you need to wear the hat all of the time.

Oh, and I really cannot leave this post without thanking the gracious Jason for letting us use his field for shootin', for making sure I didn't get into tooo much trouble with the bottle o butter......watch those calves, and I hope they don't keep ya up all night bawling.

Oh, Oh......and cousin Brad, yes let me not forget Brad. How could I. It seems a certain jailhouse orange sweater of mine reminded him of the famous celebrity homemaker Martha Stewart. I don't think I will ever be able to put on that sweater again with a straight face. It is a good thing. Mr. Blackfive and I are still trying to figure out what the pudding thing was about.....but I think you made everyone blush. You freaking, made the night. Seriously. You gave me enough endorphins from the laughter to last the week.......I hope Eric lets ya know. You were missed Saturday night.

Finally......Tammi. Oh I didn't want to leave. I wanted to sit and have coffee with you all day. There were no surprises here. You are exactly like your blog, and that says something. You take care of people, the mexican manicotti was delicious....I will be making it. I have a lot to thank you for. I am sure you are aware. Thank you for inviting me. I think it has been a long time since I have been "out" , perhaps 6 years or so....really (no surprise, to some of you). So I thank you for inviting me, introducing me to such a great group of people, and for everything else. Yeah you are welcome here anytime lady, you are like fleece.

If I forgot anyone, I apologize. I imagine it was the shine.

I will not apologize for the snortin, and cacklin', I had too much fun.

The Great Escape

If one is traveling with a vehicle full of booze, and a gun, could she be mistaken for a bootlegger?

If I were Emma Peel.....

I would be traveling.

On Losing A Parent Slowly

"I heard that my mother is dead. I wish I had time to let her die. I wish I had time to wish I had. It is because the wild and outraged earth too soon too soon too soon. It's not that I wouldn't and will not it's that it is too soon too soon too soon." Dewey Dell, p. 114 As I Lay Dying, by William Faulkner.....


I stopped over at the Java Diva's place. To find a post that struck me at my core, and I wanted to sit with her over a cup of coffee. I know this road...I have been down it before. I cannot tell you which paths or turns to take , or which to avoid. The path of grief is a tricky one and it is all your own.

In my case, waiting for death, was the hardest part, and the easiest part. However, my selfish need to have and keep my Mother on this planet was soon outweighed by her suffering.

Some folks say, One day at a time, I say, one second at a time, one step at a time. This experiance, is a lovely and painful one, it is one you will think of often, so if you have to dance in the hallway, do it.

If it is any comfort, they are never really gone. You will have to listen harder but you can still hear them.

They ALWAYS know....

--A great photo of Dash looking Crazy--





I swear the toddlers are beyond normal genius. They have a sixth and seventh sense that is incredible.

For the past few months I have been lucky enough to get "Toddlers" on a schedule. Which means most nights they are in bed by 7:30pm. Typically they sleep through the night. Normally arise at 7:00a.m. Although as of late they have both been up around 6:00 a.m.

However I have noted glitches in my said "schedule". Particularly if I have "an agenda".

While my Sister was here, Dear Husband and I had planned a night out. They sensed it, and didn't want to go to bed at the normal time.

How about when Mom is all foxyfied, and someone puts jelly hands, booger fingers, puke, or baby poop on Mom.

Well last night it was Dash. I have a pretty full day today. I have come to expect certain things from Dash. He has become a pretty good example of "good behavior". However he must have sensed I needed a good night of rest. I have a lot of baking, some shopping, must clean out my truck, lets just say I have a pretty good list of things to do today.

The kid must have sensed it. He was up at midnight, 1:15am, 3:00am, I think at 3:00, I told Dear Husband to let him in our room. The little wide awake muskrat tossed and turned, and rooted about in the blankets. Drove me nuts. I almost put him in the yard.

Thank God for Disney channel, for some reason they run cartoons and such round the clock. So I was kept awake with giggles, and commentary about Donald Duck. ALL NIGHT. Yep, the kid didn't sleep all night. Neither did I. So this morning, he has whined more than his Momma, unbelievable......I suppose he will crash out early, and there will be a couple more nights of this.

Oatmeal Raisin Walnut Cookies

Oatmeal Raisin, and Walnut Cookies

INGREDIENTS:
1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup butter flavored shortening
1 cup packed light brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon (I like to put an extra bit in)
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 1/2 cups rolled oats
1 cup raisins (plump them in water prior to using)
1 cup Walnuts, chopped

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DIRECTIONS:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
In a large bowl, cream together the butter, butter flavored shortening, brown sugar, white sugar, eggs, and vanilla until smooth. Combine the flour, baking soda, cinnamon, cloves, and salt; stir into the sugar mixture. Stir in the oats and raisins. Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheets.
Bake 10 to 12 minutes until light and golden. Do not overbake. Let them cool for 2 minutes before removing from cookie sheets to cool completely. Store in airtight container. Make sure you get some, because they don't last long!

Our State Fair is (not) a great state fair, but it will do in a pinch.

While my Sisiter was here, I asked her to go to with me to the State Fair. I used a funnel cake as a bargaining tool--and we were off. Pink ninja and Dash were most impressed with the barn full of rabbits and chickens. We must have spent an hour in that barn.

They had very little in the way of "homemaking" displays. I always love to look at the home canned fruits, wines, and the hundreds of quilts Nebraska used to display. I think they had 6 jellies, 5 fruits, and I didn't see any home brew at all..oh and 8 quilts. Maybe I should can some fruit next year? I might just win a blue ribbon. Perhaps I could make a little money off of my blue ribbon winning jelly recipe? Must consider this as a serious carrer plan.

I did convince them to go on a few rides, they were less than impressed with them.

Next year remind me to take them to a farm instead.

Christmas Photo Card Practice Session #6

Time is running through the hourglass, and still not one decent picture of the Toddlers. I must take one every day until I get it right.

Cold Natured

I officially put a blanket on the couch last night, I do believe it will stay there for the duration. Dash, who hates wearing socks and shoes, begged for snuggly socks last night after his bath. Pink Ninja is in a footed sleeper, and heck even I broke down and threw socks on this morning. The kitchen tile COLD on my bare feet.

I think fall has arrived, although the South has a way of tricking me. I have been tricked twice into believing it is fall in the last 4 weeks. The ninety degree days proved my fall intuition wrong.

So today I think I may make a big pot of chilli, bake some oatmeal/raisin/walnut cookies, and put the children's shorts, and swim pool away, for good this time.

I am from the North, which means when I first moved down here about 4 years ago, a sixty degree day in October would still be "shorts, and sandals" weather, I would see the native Southerners bundled in scarves and down coats, hats pulled around ears for a sixty degree day, and I immediately thought they were pussies. Sixty degrees up North is swimming weather....

I am going to join the ranks of the pussies today, I might even wear a coat.

Looks like we are in for nasty weather....

I am getting ready to pick up the phone and call VW bug....Worried. I am not only worried about their safety during this hurricane kicking up her heels in Florida. I am worried about my friend, without power, and 2 toddlers in a darkened house all day. A fate I wouldn't wish on many.

Bou, has a map of some of the Florida folks, she too is hunkered down. Her father, has the keys to her blog and has been updating us. However, I am curious to hear how many bodily functions, gross outs, and fart jokes she is in for.....

Know I am praying for you, and am hoping this darn thing passes soon......



BAD MOON RISING

Lyrics By J.Fogerty

I see a bad moon arising.
I see trouble on the way.
I see earthquakes and lightnin'.
I see bad times today.

CHORUS:
Don't go around tonight,
Well, it's bound to take your life,
There's a bad moon on the rise.

I hear hurricanes ablowing.
I know the end is coming soon.
I fear rivers over flowing.
I hear the voice of rage and ruin.

Don't go around tonight,
Well, it's bound to take your life,
There's a bad moon on the rise.

Hope you got your things together.
Hope you are quite prepared to die.
Looks like we're in for nasty weather.
One eye is taken for an eye.

Don't go around tonight,
Well, it's bound to take your life,
There's a bad moon on the rise.

Don't go around tonight,
Well, it's bound to take your life,
There's a bad moon on the rise

Bikini Girls with Machine guns

If I wasn't tired, this is how I would feel today (minus the flat belly) so for your listening enjoyment go here...suggestions are #37 , #49

Dearest Husband's brother is here on a "surprise visit for his birthday. They were peaches this morning and took the toddlers on errands.

I might be taking my Husbands advice, and go back to bed.
I hope there is a horrible movie on, so I sleep.

Going to a GO-Go

I remember being 7, and sitting there looking at that blank piece of paper. I was searching corners of my mind for an idea of what I wanted to be when I grew up. I tried to think of people I knew, and jobs they had. My Dad, worked at the milk plant, and hated it. I decided I probably did not want to work there. My Mom was up early in the morning, and was working at L.B.'s donuts with her Sister. I think she liked working with her Sister, but that was it. Most of the people in our neighborhood were retired, I figured that wasn't an option either. There was a milkman down the block with a penchant for Pabst Blue Ribbon. Every house on our block had a metal box on the porch, where milk was delivered, the boxes were also a great places to keep things you found outside. I had used the metal box for many a turtle, frogs, rocks, even pretty leaves. I didn't think I would make a good milk man. I didn't know of any female milk men anyway. One of my Mothers Girlfriends worked as a hairdresser, she always had her hair done, and she had her own chair at a shop down the road. However I had tried my hand at hairdressing numerous times and it never seemed to work out well for anyone in the end. My baby doll was missing a couple of chunks of hair, my Barbies suffered the wrath of my bad haircuts as well, and could never find a dates. I had even tried to give a couple of neighborhood boys hair cuts, that ended in a phone call, and a spanking. I also used sewing shears to cut a girlfriends hair, it didn't turn out well either. I think I got the belt for that one. I even tried giving myself bangs....All failed attempts. I guess hairdressing was not in the stars for me. The only professionals I knew were Teachers, and Nurses, but I didn't really "KNOW" them, and I was always amazed when we ran into them at the grocery store. I had no idea teachers and nurses shopped and ate food just like us.

So I sat with the empty piece of paper in front of me and drew an easel, with a little girl with a painting smock on. The caption read "
I want to be an Artist". This was possible after all. I had won a few blue ribbons at fairs, sold my first painting for 5$ to my teacher. I could be an artist. I am not sure what happened, but I looked around at all of the other children in class, and looked at their drawings. The girls had drawn teachers with hair pulled back tight, standing in front of chalk boards. They drew pictures of nurses with pointed white caps, putting children arms in slings, although a couple of patients had oversized leg casts on. . The boys had drawn pictures of cop cars with blue and red lights , and shootouts. There were pictures of fire trucks with men standing with black hoses with bright blue water pouring out onto red fires

I crumpled up the picture of the artist, and began a new drawing of a veterinarian giving a dog a shot. I could be a veterinarian. I loved animals. I looked around again, and crumpled up the paper. I drew a teacher in front of a black board, I tried to draw it just like the rest of the girls in class, but I wasn't really sure if I wanted to be a teacher.

I sat in my chair and tried to think of the happiest person I knew. That woman on "Laugh In" looked happy all of the time. She was always happy, and smiling. She knew Dean Martin and danced, she was on TV too. I think I would love that job. So, I took crayon in hand and I drew a woman dancing on stage in green swim suit, with a 2 piece suede fringe costume overlay. Tall suede boots completed the outfit, and there was a colorful curtain behind her, and stage lights in front. I tried to draw the figure dancing, and the hips were jutted out to the side, and the fringe looked like it was moving. I captioned the picture, with this. "I want to be a GO-GO dancer".....

Imagine my parents pride when they showed up that night at parent teacher conferences to see my life goal, taped up on the wall on the far left side at parents eye level.

I wonder if that drawing is still in my scrap-book at my Dads house? If it is, I would like to see it. I wonder if the fringe really looks like it is moving? If it is, maybe I should have been an artist.

Trick or Treat

My Sister left the house at 5:00 this a.m. We said our goodbyes last night....she knows I am not a morning person, so she let me sleep.

Pink was good for the visit, for the most part anyway. Dear Dash had difficulty over the past week and a half. He is having one or two meltdowns a day. Ussually in the morning, and maybe in late afternoon. I am pretty sure it was the change in routine, and having someone else at the house. I thought this had improved for him. I guess the little guy is entitled to bad days we all have them. However I really was hoping we were past the meltdown stage. It doesn't seem to take much. Any small thing will cause him to go into a downward spiral of tears, and there is NO reasoning with him. NONE. I have taken to sending him to his room to have his meltdown. It seems to shorten the meltdown anyway.

I did take Pink Ninja in for her first "real" haircut. I actually just had her "Carol Brady mullet" cut off. I was worried that she may look like a boy sans mullet, however she always over accessorizes. She currently has a pair of new patent leather shoes, 4 handbags, a necklace, and a tutu on, all on top of her Winnie the Pooh jammies. It is funny to me how she gravitates toward anything slightly girly now. She refuses to wear pants any longer, she would prefer to have a skirt or dress on. Last week we went to Dilliards in a Tinkerbelle costume, complete with tights. I must go out and buy her more fluffy costumes after the Holiday. This is completely contrast to Dash who has chosen to FREAK OUT at the sight of his Peter Pan costume, or ANY costume for that matter. He is not a fan of Halloween.

Sisters last day

Today is my Sisters final day...ughhhhh. It has been nice having her here. We have enjoyed talking, walking, shopping, eating, and giggling. It may be about 5 months before I see her again. Dread it.

Need to change batteries in the camera and get to snappin.

I might take her to barbQ for lunch. She would love that.

Is my glass half empty? Do I have bad Karma,? Maybe Jesus is trying to prove a point? Maybe I am just about to start my period?

Yeah, it has been that kind of week, 2 weeks, or whatever. I think I am losing track.

First of never tell your "phone a friend" you are down a jean size. Because it only will last for 12 hours. 12 hours is not long enough to constitute dropping a jean size.


Never tell your Sister that she will enjoy her visit BECAUSE the children are so well behaved now. They will bite you, or try and start something on fire. I am still trying to laugh at this one.

Never tell any living human that your children are "sleeping great" now........just don't do it. Unless of course you want to wake at 6am, or earlier. Or if you want to try your patience by listening to tired children whine for 12 1/2 hours.

Never tell anyone you are going out for a quiet, romantic evening out. You will inevitably choose a new "chain" of "Chinese Bistro" in town that bites ass. I will call it BS Wangs to avoid any litigation. It will be soooooo loud you will have to yell across the table at one another. Not exactly "romantic" to yell your plans for your loved one to every hoo ha in the joint. The "authentic Chinese food will taste like your toddlers prepared it. The dumplings will taste like they have McDonalds buns on them. The noodles will be stuck in a clump and so soggy you could feed them to a Senior Citizen with dysphagia. The waiter will reek of cigarette, have an unkempt and dirty appearence, this same stinky waiter will try and entice you to order appitizers by mixing up 5 one cent ingrediants on the table and he will think he is fucking "Iron Chef"....also on a side note. Waiters, never call a patron "buddy"...that is very douchebag.

Oh, and never take photos of yourself dressed up and feeling "cute"...you will be severely disappointed.

I feel better now, but am going to go stock up on tampons, and midol. Oh and more vodka.....

You can dress her up.....Part 2

Sorry about my lack of posting, I will explain later this week......When I feel rested.

Anyway back to the bar...So I head to the bar, trying to look like "Mrs. Cool", ignoring essentially everyone in my path,but smiling and trying to look friendly like a weirdo. I reach the bar and note about 20 men behind me, looking at me like I am the "crazy" at the party. However I quickly recognized the look. It was the "Hey lady, you just cut in front of about 20 men to get a drink look"...Ughhh. So I find myself having to look at each of them in the face with that "apologetic look", I am hoping will not get lost in translation. I do recognize that it was a huge faux paus, however like I said, I had huge tunnel vision that was only enabling me to see the bar, and the pebbled cement in front of my feet, just so I wouldn't trip and land face down with my dress over my ears. Well one of the British chappies, took notice of my look of horror and offered me a place in front of him. I declined as gracefully as I could, and then took a look at the line again noting there are not 20 men, it is more like 50 or 60 ......The event starts in 15 minutes and Dear Husband could use a cocktail, before he starts to MC the thing. (I will note here that the British team is out of traditional military dress at this time....
I guess they travel in matching trousers, a crested blazer, and ties.) Anyway so I am standing by the line still, trying to calculate how long it will take for me to get a drink to Dear Husband, and one for myself....and another Gentleman in a blazer steps out and says "Miss, feel free to stand in front of me." I declined and went ahead and took the prior place offered. Simply because I thought, well they are both British (I noted both had "blazers", so I will just step up in line here I will get my 2 drinks and they will be rid of me. I did have to stop on the way into the conference center for apparent photo ops with The United Kingdom team, the Dutch Officer we had in our home as a dinner guest a couple of months ago, and the French team (who did say fromage this time when photo was taken).

Anyway I get our drinks, and head inside, and it is a long walk holding 2 very overfilled small clear plastic cocktail cup. I am wishing the entire time that I would have ordered myself a double as I had done for husband.

I hand Dear Husband his drink, and find my seat for dinner, and swallow my drink....Noting there are wine bottles on the table. Sigh of relief.

Lights dim a bit and the evening begins, with invocation, and Dear Husband introducing some of the guests of honor. Some of the faces are familiar as I see the Adjutant General and his wife, and then I note the Gentleman from earlier out by the bar, the Gentleman whose offer I had declined because he was too far from the bar. He was introduced by Dear Husband who is late in informing me that this is Assistant to the Chief, National Guard Bureau.

I quickly drank a couple of glasses of wine, and sat horrified.

Dear Husband sits down and the dinner hour begins. I whisper to Dear Husband what had occurred, and told him I dissed the Assistant to the Chief for a better standing in line at the bar. Dear Husband smiled and said "Great, he will know my wife is an opportunist."

Lesson here being

1.)Bring a flask, and put lime wedges in my purse so I do not have to wait in line.

2.)Always just pay attention to where the line is and shut up and stand in the back.

3.)Just take the cut in line because this guy will never remember me anyway.

Oy...

You can dress me up, but you can not take me anywhere.

You can dress her up.....

But you can't take her anywhere.

I keep getting asked about the "International Event"...so I will try and fill ya'll in on the details. As much of the details I can.

I met Dear Husband at the event. Since he was OIC of event, he was quite busy, I got a smile, wink, and the quickest of kisses. He looked dashing in his dress uniform. I do not get to see him in his dress uniform as much as I would like. Since I was "on my own" for most of the hour due to Dear Husbands very busy and hectic schedule I decided a cocktail was in order. I will remind you here that most of my human contact for the last 4 years has been family, toddlers, and grocery store personel. I found my usual "cool and calm" self requiring a vodka tonic. I had a small case of nerves. I also was on mission to get Dear Husband a small cocktail before his presentation, that was to start in about 15 mintues. I felt relieved about having a mission.


It was really a beautiful night, and all of the teams were dressed in the most formal attire. Very few women are present at this event. I am guessing around 15-25 women. So I make my way to the bar without making much eye contact with any one.

Tired

You are reading correctly, too tired to blog.... will resume when I am not "stiff and storyless". Too tired to finish a vodka and tonic last night.....However I am so tired tonight I was unable tp pour one.....

Shhhh quiet .......

It was Eric's birthday yesterday. We all know Eric entertains us, makes us think, has a thing for librarians, loves his wife, and is finally done with his deck....oh and he loathes Karen Carpenter.

So Eric, thank you for taking us to New York over the past couple of weeks, and for having that drink for us when we can't, for making us listen to the birds and look at the clouds.

Introspective Reflection


I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance
Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.

Ogden Nash

The Rooster says.....or Why ArmyWifeToddlerMom should not be allowed at International events.

I learned the following last night

The roosters in other countries crow differently.

Danish: kykkeliky

Dutch: kukeleku

English: cock-a-doodle-doo

French: cocorico

German: kickeriki

Italian: chicchirichí

Norwegian: kykeliky

I also learned the French do not say "Fromage" when getting photos taken, however, I may have started a new trend.

Have I really known you for 17 years?

Today Dear Husband turned 37....oh my....How time flies when you are having fun. The bad news Dear Husband had another marathon day. I cannot wait for this work "event" to be over. The good news is, he was home in time for a "surprise" party thrown by myself, the Toddlers, my Sister. This is Daddy's first party with all of us present. The toddlers were excited to be hosting their first party. We had to go buy presents, and balloons, make a cake, and buy ice cream of course. They even yelled "surprise" when he walked in the kitchen. Daddy did a great job at looking surprised. Dash added great international flair with a "Feliz Cumpleanos".

Dear Husband got home in time for a delicious meal. A simple salad, baked potato, and a ribeye. We blew out his candles and made a wish...(I wonder what he wished for?) He had a piece of pumpkin, walnut, carrot, and coconut cake .....Yummy. Opened cards, gifts, and a box that just arrived today... That contained some of his deceased Grandmothers belongings. He received his Grandmothers ham and bean pot, a couple of pieces of her blue hobnail. Actually we all got something, but when asked at Grandmothers funeral "What do you want of grandma's...His reply was "her ham and bean pot". I think it is probably the best gift he has ever received.

A good time was had by all, and the evening ended the usual way with 3 stories to the Toddlers, perhaps a bit later than normal.....

So I sit here tonight blogging in bed, and I hear his familiar breathing, and find it hard to believe it has been 17 years since he first caught my eye. Why is it that in society we are brainwashed to believe, that aqe ranks so high in relevance to looks...Because honestly I am sitting here looking at him, finding him, even more beautiful, and charming than ever before...and guess what, I love that. And at this rate, he will be uber hot at 93.

I love you more.....

Position of the Week #5

I mised yolattes tonight...which is a shame. My head needed it more than my body did. I will not be able to attend class all week...FUNCtions you know. I have been walking instead.

I have done some streches and poses this past week. Pink and Dash love this pose. It is called Downward Dog.

This is simply a great all over stretch. Ahhhh....sink into it.

*disclaimer*
ArmyWifeToddlerMom and those associated with are not responsible for any crazy person trying this before consenting a physician.

2 hours......

5am-7am--Trying to convince Dash it is still night...


7am-9am--I spent this morning chatting with my sister who is here visiting us, and helping out with Pink Ninja and Dash this week during all of the events. I drank coffee, made raisin toast and eggs. Made sure everyone ate. Washed dishes, unloaded dishwasher, loaded dishwasher. Folded a load of launndry. I then dressed children and myself.

9am-11am--Drive into town, deposit 2 checks. Drive to post office. Go to the park. Play and chase children. Go for a 1 1/2 mile walk, with Sister and Toddlers in the double stroller...my hamstrings better be doing something.

11am-1pm--Go to Mexican Restaraunt for lunch. (We have not been out to eat for at least a month) The children were great. Dash somehow reasoned through his 3 1/2 year old brain, that we were at "Mexican Restaraunt", and also that they speak Spanish. The Wait staff brings our lunch, and Dash says..."Gracias, this looks delicioso". We go to the grocery store, for a few groceries.

1pm-3pm--Unload children, and groceries. ALlow the children to pick a movie to watch...BTW was Cinderella. Get chidrens sleeping bags out, and pray they will anp for my Sister. Change clothes, and drive to beauty salon.

3pm-5pm--Got Hair did. I got it lightened, and trimmed, and straightened. A fantastic job. Probably the most fantastic haircut and style I have had. Thank You God. (One should NEVER get their hair done 1-2 days prior to an event). My Stylist has been out of Coutry so was unavailable.....


5pm-7pm--Get dressed, put on face, get dinner, get jammies on Dash who falls asleep eating. I clean him up and put him to bed. Try and dress Pink Ninja for bed, she awakes....I decide on chocolate sweater, below knee pencil denim skirt, chocolate brown boots....In case you have not noticed I am in love with these boots.......

7pm-9pm--Drive to Dear Husbands work place for closing ceremonies.......

Why did everything run in shifts today? I am exhausted, and have a similar day tommorow. I did entertain myself at the closing ceremonies....more on that later....

must go to bed....

The Elusive Not so Little Black Dress

The bad news is I got rid of all of my formal wear after "giving birth to the Toddlers". I had a great selection, however I hated looking at them hanging in the closet. I swear I could hear them chuckle every time I touched them. So after the babies, I got rid of them, gave them to a friend of mine. Good riddance. It was a freeing experience. I had gorgeous gowns of all colors, golden, cream, pewter....I had one little black dress....Worn once. I prided myself on never having to depend on it as a staple.


I have always prided myself on being "stylish" on a budget , which is something I have had to work on, and study. I grew up wearing almost exclusively 2nd hand clothing and hand me downs....Ugly ones at that. I had to teach myself what to buy, and how to buy a couple of basic great pieces that would expand my wardrobe. I had a great closet.....

I did learn an important lesson after being pregnant and stopping smoking and deployments. It is hard to be larger than a size 5 and look great in "anything".....
When you are a size 5, you have a certain capability of carrying off MOST clothing. Clothing does not even necessarily need to be made well when you are a size 5 or under. Almost anything looks great.

This changed for me when I grew out of those clothes, and that size.

I had to spend more time looking and more money trying to look stylish...UGHHHH.

So my wardrobe reflects that. I haven't bought much. Quite frankly my Dear Husband has a better eye than myself when it comes to dressing my new figure.

Today I went to "the Maul" against all good and reasonable judgment. Guess what? The children were fantastic. I tried on 20 dresses. 20 of them. The children were great, helped me pick colors, sang me songs and told me stories.

One dress fit better and looked better than all of the rest. I knew I had shoes that would look great. I knew the fabric could be worn season round. The neckline was a modified boatneck, my sweet pearls will look fantastic. The length skims the bottom of my knees. A kickpleat in the back. Fully lined, nice construction, flattering. Oh and the best part, the back dips down just a teeny bit, and there is nice detailing at the back.

I was a little sad that I was taking the easy way out, after all, the dress was "a black one", but I went ahead and hung it on the hanger took it to the sales lady.

I about fainted when she told me the price......$35.00. I am still smiling.

I can wear the darn thing gardening, trimming hedges, heck even fingerpainting!!

Smiling

Yesterday after the dress hunting, I had the urge to stop by Dear Husbands office. The toddlers miss Daddy, they have only seen him for brief moments before drifting off to sleep.....I think a 5 minute visit might do everyone some good.

I walk into Dear Husbands office...And he has a gentleman sitting in the chair opposite of him, so I stand in the doorway looking at him with this look..."Sorry, just thought we would pop in and see you, ooops didn't know you were busy kind of look".....He has been so busy and so distracted, I am unsure for a moment if this visit was such a good idea.......

Everything stopped for a brief moment, and he stared at me smiling. The kind of smile that makes you feel like you are the only person on the planet. The kind of smile that makes everything else disappear. I will remember that smile always, and now I undertand this. It was the kind of smile, that made the other gentleman smile, shake my hand and leave.

Looking at You
-Cole Porter

Looking at you
While troubles are fleeing
I'm admiring the view
Cause it's you I'm seeing
And the sweet honey dew
Of well-being settles upon me

What is this light
That shines when you enter
Like a star in the night
And what's to prevent her
From destroying my sight
If she centers all of it on me

Looking at you, I'm filled with the essence of
The quintessence of joy
Looking at you, I hear poets tellin' of
Lovely Helen of Troy

Darling

Life seemed so gray
I wanted to end it
Till that wonderful day
You started to mend it
And if you'll only stay
I'll spend it looking at you

There goes my baby......

Buzz Cut, and the Long Haired Worm Hunt....





Dash is a baby no longer ....and I love it and I hate it. How and why does this pull on my heart so. I noticed about a 2 months ago, his flawless white baby skin was giving way to my freckles and "beauty spots". Just a few of them over the bridge of his nose. Tiny little specks.

He is using the toilet habitually now, for both types of business. He is soooo proud.

As parents we are able to take him out of the house on a regular basis without tantrum, or argument. He is well behaved, follows instructions, and will even keep an eye on Pink Ninja when we are out. He explains things to her, makes sure she is following "the rules". He helps enforce the rules, and makes sure she is not scared of elevators, escalators or Halloween masks.

The once frightening haircut, has turned into a grand rite of passage, and the other day he climbed up into an unknown barbers chair, by himself. He kept still, and sat through the very long haircut. He even allowed them to use the "buzzer"...something that used to be too much for the little guy.....

I have a new Sister....

My Blog Momma Tammi , who has already provided me with two great blog Sisters Machelle over at Quality Weenie, and Lee Ann of Lee Ann's veiw has found me yet another blog Sister TalulaZephyer. YEAH!! She has not had my "tech problems", already a blogroll, and poems....she is running out of the gate fast. Welcome to the family.

Maul Rats....

Dearest Husband is away, I think day 30 without a day off, and late nights . I have no idea how I managed this for 18 months. Part of me is in panic mode, because it feels like "that" all over again.

So I have manged to wash bedding this weekend, cleaned 2 bathrooms, and the usual. The toddlers and I spent yesturday afternoon picking acorns out of the yard, tiny acorns from the scrub oaks in the back yard. I noted the children were better at locating the tiny acorns. Age and its benifits. We are putting the bucket by the back door so we can watch all of the squirrels "steal" them.

I have makeup on, and managed to throw a couple of curls in my hair, hoping to hide, "roots"...as we are off to "the maul" again. Yeah, still no dress and the event is Tuesday night. Yeah, yeah......I doubt if I come home with a thing, but I am taking an arsenel of suckers and other distractions to but time. I need to try though. I bought my Sisters ticket for Monday night, but due to hurricane Katrina, etc....the events were moved.......and my Sister will be arriving a day late and a dollar short. I had originally enlisted her help as a sitter for us, so I could mange the house and prepare for events etc. I am swearing under my breath now.

So it is off to "the maul" land of spoiled teenagers on cell phones, and Mothers who borrow daughters clothing, Dad's opening wallets and looking at teenage girls in low riders with a guilty glances, and the weirdos that sit outside of Victorias Secret watching women buy surprises for sweethearts. Oh how I loathe "the maul".......

I think I will need to shower when I get home.

Its a Girl....

More to Follow has been super busy.

First the hurricane threatening their home, while his Wife was ready to deliver the baby "any time", a trip to Kansas City to ensure everyones saftey.

Well I have been checking in, and it seems all is well.

A gorgeous already smiling baby girl born, yes she is smiling already.

So please go over and knock quietly.....baby is sleeping.

It is all about the lessons.....

I stopped at Big Al's Army Life this morning and read this.....Why hadn't I posted this before, or something similar?

It is not simply about lessons of learned while your loved one is deployed. It is so much more than that. It is about a way of thinking. Realizing the life is not random, it is filled with choice and lessons, and teachers.....

It is a great post about lessons learned. What great things we can learn when we listen and think. Especially when we are uncomfortable. Those lessons always seem to happen when we need them most.


The most spiritual human beings, assuming they are the most courageous, also experience by far the most painful tragedies: but it is precisely for this reason that they honor life, because it brings against them its most formidable weapons.
-Friedrich Nietzsche

Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.
-Frank Herbert


They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.
-Confucius

Keep on Driving...

Sounds like Techography, is having one of those terrible days...That have stretched into weeks, months. Those phonecalls that make you think "what if", forget them. The crazy man out to kill you? Keep your eye on the prize and keep on driving.


Eric typed some lyrics this week....So I scrambled to my mess of CD's and drug them out of the box.

Thanks Eric, for reminding me it is that time of the year, and nothing sounds better than the Cowboy Junkies, and sweet Margo's haunting and brooding voice singing through the cracked leaves. Michaels lyrics are beautiful to hear....

200 More Miles (Michael Timmins)
I got Willie on the radio, a dozen things on my mind
and number one is fleshing out these dreams of mine.
You say that I am crazy, my life wasting on this road
that time will find my dreams - scattered dead and cold.



New Dawn Coming (Michael Timmins)
Ain't got no answers here.
What I see is not clear.
Time to shake it around.
Turn my world upside down
and watch as the stars come unhinged

Go over and take a listen.....If you are having one of those days, or simply need to hear one of the most beautiful voices on the planet. I would recommend tracks 2,3,7,10 and 12 Off of "The Trinity Sessions". Heck listen to all of them if you have the time. You will be hooked, and you won't feel so alone on this road.

Someone's knockin' at the door...Someone's a ring wha?

I call my dad everyday, I have since my Mom passed. I am not sure if he likes it, or if it is a nuisance, but I do.

The other night I called to see how he was and he tells me, he and his girlfriend went out shopping for rings.

I am going to guess they will be married in December.

I like his friend, she is a thoughtful and funny lady. Dad seems happy to have her in his life. She has helped Dad crawl out of his dark place. He wan't happy sitting alone in that big house. His girlfriend and I talk almost daily too, I like her...I am happy for them, it is hard to fall in love once and loose that person, but to find love again is really a blessing. I could not have hand picked a better match for him.

My Father is happy, and ready for phase 2 of his life, almost ready to retire, and enjoy his hard work.....He deserves this. He deserves a person share his life with, to love.

However a part a small part of me feels a bit sad. That small part of me, that 5 year old girl that loved her Momma more than anyone on the Earth, thinks maybe just maybe, my Mom will call me, or walk through the door.

Yeah I know, the 35 year old me, keeps telling the 5 year old me, it is ok, and Mom is gone, but I am going to let the 5 year old have her moment.

She will be fine, children are resilient you know.

C'est La Vie

I have not seen much of Dear Husband over the past 2 weeks, it is his "busy season"...which is a shame. A lot of LONG days, cold dinners reheated, and falling asleep before his head hits the pillow.

Dear Husband is busy at work with an International Event, and the French did show this year.

Tonight he comes home, just beat, but with a faint smile, and he tells me that one of the French guys (who Dear Husband knows well) came up to him, and Thanked him for his service in Iraq. He also said he thought about him daily, and worried about him. Dear Husband promised him a week with no French jokes, and the French guy said, "Oh go ahead we make French jokes in France, we French are just nasty...."

Todays lesson, all French people do not suck.

New Era at the Casa De Dust

Dash is officially potty trained, and almost accident free for over 2 1/2 weeks. YEAH. (Although, I know due to the fact I am typing this, he will probably have 2 accidents today....should not be typing this, should not be typing this).

Pink Ninja, who is already "headstrong", is developing vocabulary, and autonomy (AGAIN) this week. So the only phrases she is speaking are...

1) Thats mine.

2) No I don't want to.

3) I said no I don't want to.

4) I want that, that is mine.

Autonomy.... UGHHHH.

This is a scene played out in the livingroom yesturday.

Me: Did you just bite Dash? We do not bit Dash, he is our big brother. (Please note Dash was sitting quietly in the corner with a book, and she ran over tackled him and bit him...hard enough to leave a bruise immediatly)

Pink Ninja: No.

Me: You need to go sit in the naughty chair in the corner.

Pink Ninja: No I do not want to.

Me: Picking Pink Ninja up and putting her in the chair. (Mind you, she is stiff as a board has head thrown back and is arching her back out of the chair.)

Dash: Screaming in pain, and crying.


I sooooo thought we were done with this.
HA....

5 Things Meme....or Something to think about while pissed off.....

Sue tagged me with this little gem. A great diversion today while I am playing phone tag with "The Man"....

5 things I plan to do before I die:
1. Raise thoughtful children
2. Travel Internationally
3. Write my childrens books series
4. See my Grandbabies
5. Take up painting


5 things I can do:
1. Clean
2. I am a great geriatric nurse
3. I make delicious fried chicken
4. I can take a great bubble bath
5. I am great under pressure

5 things I cannot do:
1. run fast
2. tolerate laziness
3. take a compliment gracefully
4. a lay up
5. draw


5 things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1. Intelligence
2. Humerous
3. Wit
4. A great voice
5. Great story telling capability
6. Great in the sack....


5 things I say most often:
1. No!
2. Get down!
3. Apologize NOW!
4. Do you need to pee?
5. I love you.

I started to pass this on, but I want to hear everyone answer this, and it simply was taking too long to type.....

If I were Emma Peel....

I would come out on top of this little bump in the road.

I'm so vain I probably think this post is about me.....

Yeah I am still fuming mad.

However, now I am additionally stressed about finding a dress, and getting in to my stylist to get my hair done. I am looking a little "rooty" right now. I need to call her in the morning to see if she has a time that will coincide with Dear Husbands schedule. She is a very busy lady, and I am praying I can get in. I didn't bother to notice my hair until a couple of days ago. Funny how I only "look" at my hair when I need to be around adults for more than 15 minuites at a shot. This hair.... After my second pregnancy my hair turned almost black instead of my normal "brown"....I do not like it black, so I have it colored a caramel kind of color. It is hard to color very dark hair, and have it turn out. I only trust Nula to do it.

Dear Husband is swamped at work for the month, my Sister will be here in 5 days, but I need her here now.

I seriously need time to beautify.

There is the plucking of the brows, and the nails, and the exfoliating, and the locating of "the dress". The illusive dress. My very first non size 5 formal gown.


Perhaps, I could show up in a burlap sack with arm holes cut in it, put my hair in a clippy and wear my Tevas as some sort of "protest". Depending on my wit, and interpersonal relation skills.....


Nula better have a spot for me to get his hair did, and the Dear Lord better give me some sort of sense to dress this new version of Me.....

I am at the end of my rope

I might just stay after yolates for kickboxing tonight.....

I am fuming mad.

Furious to the point of tears.

BTW, I am not a pussy and I DO NOT CRY easy, I am tough as leather most of the time.

Nope it is not my period either.

However when people spend A LOT of MONEY on SOMETHING BRAND NEW...it should WORK.

I am not going to mention what is broke right now, and hopefully "the problem" will be fixed, before I have to mention names.

I do however want to say, UUUGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

You know, life is hard enough without the added complications.

Is this thing working?

You are... WAIT! - you're none of the Sins you're
an Angel!
Perfect, or close enough, and annoyingly so! Did
you always
behave so 'just right'. ARGHHH . You can annoy the
hell outta
people with your attitude, but no doubt your church
is real happy
with you. The positive side certainly outweighs the
negative,
after all, you do chores, are smart, are cute, do
charity work.
Least you know what a perfect saint you are. You
just make the rest
of us sinners vomit. Perhaps you could break the
rules once in a while, go wild - Eat an extra
cookie or something.
However - congratulations on being the most pure,
of the entire human race.


?? Which Of The Seven Deadly Sins Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

Scenes from the Maul...

Yes, it is still 88-98 degrees here with varying percentages of humidity that go anywhere from tropical to balmy.

There is also "the illusive dress" I need in about 6 days......PANIC.

So yesterday I got the children dressed, I put on my makeup, threw on a pair of jeans, threw the double stroller in the truck and we ventured out to see what "America" is wearing.

The mall.

I decided to start in Dillards, they have a very large dress department here, and they are notorious at having a nice section of "clearance" items. SO I pack Pink Ninja, and Dash into the stroller. Dash has a small memo book to keep him occupied and Pink has her current favorite book "The Little Red Hen". For some reason, pushing a double stroller is no easy feat, especially through these Department stores. I almost knocked 2 mannequins over. I should have the buffest arms around town for all of the pushing I do in that damn thing. I should also have great hamstrings from picking up "The Little Red Hen" 100 times.

Dash is being fantastic through the ordeal, reading tags, and being helpful. Pointing out my size when he sees it ...Loudly. Pink Ninja wants OUT of the stroller, she wants to run loose and explore. She is frustrated, and grunting, and kicking. It is clear to me that sitting is not satisfying to her.


The good news is feminine is back ladies, a lot of 30's 40's and 50's inspired dresses. The bad news, there is also a lot of crap. These gowns are made cheaply. The clearance racks are full of ugly dresses, and summer dresses. The children are getting stir crazy, so we get in the elevator (which smells like pee) and head up to the children section. They had plenty of gorgeous clothing choices for the toddlers Christmas photo. However the space between racks makes it impossible for me to shop for children, while having the children in tow. So I left the children's section empty handed as well.

I decide at this time to take the children "out" to the mall......

I go into Gymboree, which I also note is nearly impossible to go through with a stroller. A children and babies store, that is not stroller friendly? Nice. So I leave.

I promise the children a snack. I pick up a small peach strawberry banana smoothie, a small cup of fruit , and a bagel no cream cheese. $8.00 I could have bought a whole chicken a head of lettuce, and sweet potatoes for that. Dash loved the smoothie, and bagel. Pink Ninja chewed on the fruit, and then spit it out or rubbed it in her hair.

I decide that we should take one final spin before leaving. I am stopped by some man selling jewelry in the middle of the mall. I must look like I need a big gold chain with my name in gold cursive, I am also stopped by a man selling "dead sea salts". "Oh lady, let me see yow, hands...Only fow one second".

We go through Build a Bear as well, which is just something I do not get. I am unsure why a parent would find it sooo important to indulge a child with a bear who is dressed in a costume that costs as much as a child's oufit. The toddlers were fascinated with the "machine that stuffs the bears", but neither asked for a thing. Thank GOD.

I think we killed about 2 1/2 hours total. The children were great, no one threw a fit, and I was proud of them.

Oh and before I forget.....one final note.

Abercrombie and Fitch turn down that fucking crap you call music already. We see you, we know you are there.

Bad Uncle?

It was Harvey's turn to host Karnival of the Kidz this week. That darn Harvey has the Toddlers acting crazy now. He reminds me a bit of that rougish Cat in the Hat. I also noted that Karnival of the Kidz may be no more.....it saddens me greatly that I do not have a forum to post photos and stories of my gorgeous children. The moderator does not have the time or energy to moderate at this time. I have no idea where she gets her energy anyway. 2 boys, toddlers.

October 4th

My Mom would have been 64 years old today.....I am wondering what her favorite birthday was. I wonder what her all time favorite birthday gift was? I never asked. Could you do me a favor and call your Mom and ask her today?


Anyone who doesn't miss the past never had a mother.

W. Somerset

Position of the week #4

Tonight in Yo-lattes we had a "fill in" instructor....who I have had before, and I always enjoy her class. Tonight she treated us with a great sequence of yoga poses. My balance was great on my right side tonight, and terrible on my left. My greatest asset in yoga is my flexibility. My greatest challenges are balance, and strength. My strength has improved over time. Balance seems to require a lot of my attention these days. I had to work very hard tonight, and I never did quite find that quiet place in my mind that allows me to remain steady.

This pose is called Eagle or Garudasana.

Suess on the Loose

Saturday morning I took the toddlers to the park. There was quite a crowd, and I am guessing that is because it was only 88-- degrees instead of the normal balmy 100. There is a beautiful lake, gazebo, walk and bike paths, lots of picnic tables, and a great play area.

Pink Ninja, in her typical Pink Ninja fashion heads straight for the "big kid area", and started making her way up the various platforms to the "tornado slide". No fear about her, she doesn't stop to say a word to the "big kids", at 22 months she knows exactly what she wants. She doesn't care if there is some straggler in the tube, holding things up intentionaly, she just barrels down kicking them with her feet until they move. She cannot go fast enough, and her 22 month old legs are moving so fast, they are getting the best of her at times. Her blonde wisps of hair look like dandelion fluff being blown.

Dash is climbing and watching the children fly out of the bottem of the tube. He has had a love/hate relationship with this slide. He wouldn't go down it forever....I am not sure why. He would stand at the top and watch the children disappear, only to reappear. When I would climb up and ask him if he would like to go down, he would escort me off of the platform or cry. When Dash was about 2 1/2. I put him on my lap, and we went down. He loved it, and for about 4 months it was his favorite amusement at the park. Then one day we went to the park , and he was terrified of the darn thing.

So Saturday I watch him climb up the platform, and he is smiling. He gets to the top and he announces...

"Hello folks, I am Slyvester McMonkey McBean, and this is my star off machine. This wondrous contraption will take off your stars, so you won't look like Sneetches who have them on thars. For just 10$ each, I will make you look like the best Sneetch on the Beach!"

None of the parents or children understood, my little mans reference. Which is too bad, it was funny, and showed a great deal of imagination for a 3 1/2 year old.

The best part, he went through his star off machine about 20 times.........

Carnival of Recipes #59

Yummmy. My favorite recipe this week. If I bake it, fall will come......

The Hunger for October

Ahh, October. A little hard for me to believe since I have been teased by one tolerably cool morning. It is too warm out for me to even consider a pumpkin on the porch. I would have to put sunglasses on the poor jack o lanterns.


I have tried to pull fall from the depths of my soul. I have tried baking oatmeal raisin cookies, even acorn squash. I am longing for the cool and damp weather. I want to hear crunching under my feet. I want to hear the sound of raking. The taste of caramel wrapped over tart apples. I am unable to smell the harvest here, and am looking for the color orange.

Maybe a trip to the video store might help. David Bowie in The Hunger....

Vampires might help.

Bela Lugosi's Dead/ Bauhaus


White on white translucent black capes
Back on the rack
Bela Lugosi's dead
The bats have left the bell tower
The victims have been bled
Red velvet lines the black box
Bela Lugosi's dead
Undead undead undead
The virginal brides file past his tomb
Strewn with time's dead flowers
Bereft in deathly bloom
Alone in a darkened room
The count
Bela Logosi's dead
Undead undead undead

Great Day with a teary ending......

The day here was a gorgeous one, I felt refreshed and renewed. I am happy I got a taste of fall. The toddlers and I went to the park, we had a lovely time, no one got into trouble. We had a picnic snack of juice and bananas, a 2 mile walk.

I got home to make my moms delicious oatmeal raisin cookies and I could not locate my Moms recipe. I am sick about it. My Mom didn't have much to leave her daughters , and her recipes are of great importance to me. I just saw the darn thing the other day, even showed it to Dear Husband. I was going to bake her cookies today. Hoping my house would smell like my Mom's house for a second. I was hoping I could sit and take a bite of a warm cookie, and hear her telling my Dad to get his "damn hands out of the cookies, you will have them all eaten before anyone else can get them."..........I will use a different recipe tonight, but I am not going to be happy about it. I am going to keep looking for it. Sigh*

I found a dress........it is sold out. I want a dress for a woman, I do not want a bridesmaid dress or a prom dress or a Mother of the bride dress....I want a lovely cocktail dress that is pretty and can be worn with my pearls......I do not want to look like a 35 year old trying to dress like a 20 year old. I want to look like a lady. I have to call Spiegel and find out who manufactured this dress.




I got an e-mail from Bou today, I dropped some tampons off over at her virtual Fiona last night because of this post.....Only to find out today that Fionna is passing away from from some horrible female tragedy. It hurt my heart to hear of her boys in tears....I will take flowers and brownies tonight.

Bat Guano Cookies

Yep another gross recipe, and just in time for Halloween.

Bat Guano Cookies


Ingredients:
one 12-oz. package chocolate chips
one 12-oz. package butterscotch chips
1 cup cashew nuts
1 cup banana chips
one large can chow mein noodles

Mixing the Concoction:

Dump the chocolate and butterscotch chips into the microwave safe dish. Microwave for 1 minute, stir, then microwave for 1 more minute or until melted. Stir again. (Be sure to use those oven mitts, the bowl will be HOT!)
While the chips are melting, crumble up the banana chips.
Use your oven mitts to remove the bowl of melted chips from the microwave. Dump the chow mein noodles, nuts and banana chips into the mixture. Stir.
Drop clumps of the bat guano onto the cookie sheet.
Place the cookie sheet into the refrigerator until your bat guano is firm.
Nosh on some great guano!

What NOT to Wear

Search begins.....

Dear Husband is hosting a formal International Military event. Which means, I should be living on water and water for the next 24 days, which I will not EVER do. So now I need to find the perfect dress that will camaflouge the bad parts and enhance the good parts. Oh and on a budget folks. Ughhhh.

Formal events were easier when I was a size 5, and 24 years old.

Where is that bitchy lady and her very campy friend form "What Not to Wear" when I need them?

Ugly dress contest...

Ok folks time to enter a contest!!

You must e-mail me photos of YOU or YOUR significant other in a PROM or BRIDESMAID dress. Big 80's hair is not required, but it might help your cause. Shiny, metallic fabric will garner much attention, as will butt bows, gigantic bows on sleeves. If your dates cumberbund matches your dress we wanna see it.

The winner gets

1) an assortment of about 50 Iris, Canna, and Daffodil bulbs (not guaranteed to bloom)

2) the runner up gets a snazzy coupon holder.

All entries will be judged by my readers in the comments section.

*Now where did I put those pictures?*

Cold Snap

Ahhhhh....Last night before I went to bed, I turned off the air conditioning. It has been running since April. I woke this a.m. and it is 53 degrees out! Brrr...... and I love it. I am going to put coveralls on Pink Ninja, blue jeans on Dash, and after we go to the bank, we are going to the park. I am going to let them run and run. Then I am going to put them in the stroller and I am going to try to get a two mile walk in. I am never sure how long they will sit. They might like to sit today and look at all of the pretty trees.

Other big plans are to find my Mom's oatmeal and raisin cookie recipe. I want to spend the afternoon baking.

Today I am thrilled with the prospect of apple and pumpkin pie, fuzzy sweaters, leather jackets, down comforters, snuggling, my black leather gloves with fur at the cuffs, pumpkins on my porch, and brightly colored leaves, my bouclee suits, tall boots and more snuggling.

When I am not Emma Peel I am....

Opera Diva Maria Callas

So Dear Husband and I are watching The Godfather, and it is the "Garden Party" scene, women in chiffon dresses are performing a small operetta. Dear Husband looks at me smiling and I say "what?" "I just know you want to be wearing a chiffon party dress and singing an aria."

He knows me too well.

Botticelli or Body jelly?

Today has been one of those days.

I used to be the thin gangly girl. I am 5'7 1/2 tall. I have been that height since I turned 16. Mostly "limbs" at that time. All arms and legs, gangly looking. I could eat ANYTHING back then and did not gain a pound. Graduated high school weighing a gaunt 98 pounds soaking wet. I was not class president, cheerleader, but the boys in class made me and my best girlfriend Presidents of "Itty Bitty committee".....Mean boys.

I went to college and drank enough beer, and gin to grow hips, and was only treasurer of "Itty Bitty committee" My weight was about 118 pounds.

I got married, and my weight stayed at 123 pounds at its highest for 10 years.

Stopped smoking ....Add pounds here.....

Got pregnant with Dash....Add pounds here...

Got pregnant with Pink Ninja.....Add more pounds here.....

So I have been trying to "get this extra poundage off". I do not like the way it looks. I made a deal with myself when Dear Husband returned from Iraq. I am going to give myself a year to WORK on my body, if I am still so deeply unsatisfied at the end of a year....I am getting a tummy tuck. End of Story. That is the deal I made myself. A very "VAIN" proposal I know. However, I will go ahead and take the vain, if it means I can look at pictures of me with my children and smile. I do not want to live my life hiding from a camera. I also am tired of reintroducing myself to those who do not recognize me.

The yolattes has been working. I feel stronger, weight is shifting. I do not know if I have lost weight, because I do not weigh myself, unless I am at the Dr. My once firm pretty tummy, is no longer pretty it tells a story of my 2 pregnancies. My pregnancy with Dash, when Dear Husband had to deploy, the pregnancy where my Mom was sick. The pregnancy I spent caring for my Mom, and sleeping next to her while she laid in the hospital bed we moved into her room. My tummy also tells the story of being pregnant with Pink Ninja, Dearest Husband being deployed. Sitting on the couch breathing through contractions and arriving at the hospital at nine centimeters dilated. Thinking I could breathe my way through all of the contractions for 18 more months....So he could share the moment with us.

The great thing that happened was breasts.....I never thought I cared about breasts, never minded being "itty". After all of the hormones, and weight gain, and breast feeding I learned the power of boobs.

They got attention, even in turtle necks , and I didn't mind it much, because I do believe the "boobs" took attention away from everything else that grew. I didn't mind people staring at my chest, because my jeans would have spit up on them, my hair was "growing out" from a self imposed short haircut I had my stylist give me, I had kleenex coming out of one hand and a can of lysol in the other, my skin was a mess from the breast feeding hormones. I was sleeping about 4 hours a night (not in a row) , and I looked like hell for months.

Soooo, with this exercising I have noticed they are disappearing. Bit by bit, they are returning to a less freakish size.

I am a little upset that I am losing the weight in all of the wrong places, my Tummy remains as proof of my plight as a Mom, a sort of Marsupial Pouch if you will.

I never thought I would say this, but I am sure gonna miss my larger boobs.

Digging in the dirt

I need to dig in my flower bed up front. There must be over 300 bulbs, a mixture of Cannas, Daffodils, and Iris. Too many for such a small space. The area needs a good thinning. I wonder how much work I can do before the Pink Ninja eats a bulb, or runs for the street.

What to do with all of these bulbs? Maybe a contest for ugliest bridesmaid, prom, or formal dress is in order?

The Open Face Sandwich Generation

I always thought I would be able to blame my gray hair on Pink Ninja, or Dash, or Dear Husbands deployments.

However, I think I will say at least 5 of my gray hairs (all of which are colored) are due to my Dear Parents. I have mentioned my Mother in previous posts, she battled Colon cancer for 2 1/2 years, the cancer eventually metastisized to her brain and she lost her battle. My Father has been diagnosed with heart disease since he was 47. Which has meant that I am "always, prepared for a weird phonecall re: his heart health". My Dad is STUBBORN, he also thinks being stubborn is "cute". He had the stint put in the other day, and got to go home about 16 hours later. Mind you I am about a 15 hour drive away, so I cannot enforce "rules". This is where his girlfriend has been taking over. Poor Thing.

My Father is 64, and should know better than to be such a Wisenheimer, Hanyach. (Weird jibberish my Mom used to call us. I know not what a Hanyach is-don't ask) He has threated to do something to violate his Drs. orders almost everyday. He he threatened to go back to work. Which wouldn't bother me, but he hates his factory job, works 12 hour shifts in a hot and humid building, and frankly after working the same job for 48 years and never using sick time allows you to recover from heart surgery. He has threatened to mow his manicured 1 1/4 acre lawn. He also has made it out of doors to chase some lowly group of moles that have infiltrated said lawn. He runs around with a pitchfork, and pokes it in their tunnels until he stabs them. I think this technique sounds cumbersome, but he is quick to remind me, he has "killed 8 of the son's of bitches this summer".

I have pleaded with him in several phonecalls this week. I finally reminded him of a story this week.......

When my Grandfather was about 83 years old, he spent a Fourth of July Day on the roof of his home replacing shingles. I would have been about 8 at the time. I remember we were eating dinner that night, and my Dad got one of those weird phonecalls, that left him drained looking. His stubborn Father was in the hospital with a nasty case of heat stroke. I remember my Dad being sick over it, and just plain mad. Where was his Father's common sense at? Why would an 83 year old man be on the roof on one of the hottest days of the year? (On a good note Grandpa recovered from his little incident)

Anyway, I reminded my Dad of this little gem of a story. I also threw in this little needle. "Your being stubborn just like your Dad".

He got quiet, and I think I bought myself 72 hours of my Dad lying low, or him sneaking around and doing crazy shit behind my back.

Auction Out

The Auction for Soldiers Angels is over. I imagine Suzanne is thrilled and trying to take a deep breath. The Grand total is around $1,100.

The good news is, I won a bog design!! Yeah!! I might wait until January, when Dash is no longer a toddler, because I will need a new moniker at that time as well. Now I need to come up with a design and a name...any ideas?

The ALWAYS Late Movie reviewer

For the past few nights, I have been hitting the hay early. Treating myself to movies I am 1-6 years late watching. Last night I viewed Spanglish. It was sooo worth watching, I will leave the quotes and leave the decision to watch it up to you.



"Lately, dear, your low self-esteem is just good common sense"


"This is the job, these are the decisions... When to push them, when to back them... Worrying about your children is sanity and being that sane can drive you nuts."

"If you don't stop talking I'm going to set my hair on fire and start punching myself in the face."

----and lastly, this line......

"They should name a gender after you. Just looking at you doesn't do it. Staring is the only way that makes any sense. And trying not to blink, so you don't miss anything. And all of that, and you're you."

Christmas Photo Card Practice Session #3

Although you may not think so, Christmas Cards need to be out SOON, I am sure this photo will not work. Yup, it is still hot out, 94 degrees today. We are ready for lower electric bills, and yes Bou I am also ready for apples too. Maybe by February huh?

Position of the week #3

Yo-Lattes class had this position to offer tonight. Along with news my instructor will be leaving. Very hard news for me. I do like my instructor, she has been been my yoga instructor for 3 years, she has been a good friend, she checks on me when I miss more than one class. I am used to the rhythm, and her method. She has been a good instructor.

So ode to you Teacher, enjoy your travels...Wherever they may take you.

tonight's Position is called Pigeon. Chest Out shoulders down.

*disclaimer* ArmyWife and those associated are not responsible for any injury that may occur while in or getting into said position.

Me "DOULA " Oblongata

Congratulations to the Patriette. Remember, to call these folks, if you need some help!!

I used Operation Doula with Dash. My Doula was a God send.

Operation Doula Care has been formed in response to the events of
September 11th, 2001. Doulas all over the United States have come
together to form America's first ever "Doula Reserve". Our mission is
to provide, FREE of charge, birth doula support to the pregnant wives
of U.S. Military men (Active Duty, Reservists, National Guard, Coast Guard)
that have been called up, deployed, injured or have become deceased
as a direct result of any military actions relating to the war against terrorism.

Please forward this to all of the Army Wives you know, they might need the support.

Rita

Rita danced through here last night, kicking up her heels and hiking up that skirt of hers. A few downed branches, that's all of the damage. Had a hard time sleeping, through the sound of feet stomping, and castanets.

Midwestern Folk Are Like That?

I was watching The Music Man with Dash, and forgot about this song.

Artist: Lyrics
Song: Iowa Stubborn Lyrics

Music: Meredith Willson
Lyrics: Meredith Willson
Book: Meredith Willson and Franklin Lacey
Premiere: Thursday, December 19, 1957

Townspeople:
Oh, there's nothing halfway
About the Iowa way to treat you,
When we treat you
Which we may not do at all.
There's an Iowa kind of special
Chip-on-the-shoulder attitude.
We've never been without.
That we recall.
We can be cold
As our falling thermometers in December
If you ask about our weather in July.
And we're so by God stubborn
We could stand touchin' noses
For a week at a time
And never see eye-to-eye.
But what the heck, you're welcome,
Join us at the picnic.
You can eat your fill
Of all the food you bring yourself.
You really ought to give Iowa a try.
Provided you are contrary,
We can be cold
As our falling thermometer in December
If you ask about our weather in July.
And we're so by God stubborn
We can stand touchin' noses
For a week at a time
And never see eye-to-eye.
But we'll give you our shirt
And a back to go with it
If your crops should happen to die.

Farmer:
So, what the heck, you're welcome,
Glad to have you with us.

Farmer and Wife:
Even though we may not ever mention it again.

Townspeople:
You really ought to give Iowa
Hawkeye Iowa
Dubuque, Des
Moines, Davenport, Marshalltown,
Mason City, Keokuk, Ames,
Clear Lake
Ought to give Iowa a try!

If I were Emma Peel....

I would be spend the morning getting my next assignment over a cup of tea. I would spend the afternoon glancing seductively over my mink collar. I think the evening would be filled with cocktails over candlelight and poisonous lipstick.....

So you wanna be a ROCKSTAR?

It has been hotter than Hades here, which left us "house bound" for 2 days. Yesterday I thought it would be great if Dash and Pink Ninja would make "Get Well" cards for "Grampanio" (Dash calls Grandpa---Grampanio--it stuck).


Dash created the above "card" and titles it "Level 3 Power Grid". Interesting.

Pink Ninja, ran around with her mini-mullet, stuck a couple of crayons in her nose, and wrote on the table. She is such a ROCKSTAR, I just might change her moniker.

Hell on Heels....

Get over to Andi's place, and leave a note for our wounded who are at Walter Reed Hospital. It is Friday after all, and on Friday evenings Andi spends her time Supporting those who are healing inside!!

Quiet

Frank O'Hara - A Quiet Poem

When music is far enough away
the eyelid does not often move

and objects are still as lavender
without breath or distant rejoinder.

The cloud is then so subtly dragged
away by the silver flying machine

that the thought of it alone echoes
unbelievably; the sound of the motor falls

like a coin toward the ocean's floor
and the eye does not flicker

as it does when in the loud sun a coin
rises and nicks the near air. Now,

slowly, the heart breathes to music
while the coins lie in wet yellow sand.

Dad had surgery....

Well it has been a long day at Casa De Dust. Waiting..... The heart cath showed 2 arteries 70-90% blocked. So he had 2 stints put in today. He made it through the surgery and his only complaint is fatigue right now.

He will be attending cardiac rehab for the next 10 weeks.

So all is well for today.

AUCTION.....you have 24 more hours!!

Get your tail over to THE AUCTION. Only 50 minutes left on a few items. 24 more hours of me begging you for money. YEAH!!!

Remember all proceeds go to Soldiers Angels Hurricane Relief.

Over $1,100 raised so far, so thank you for your bidding!!

There are 2 "blogger designs available". One is available for $50, the other a steal at $31. Run, run, fast as you can.

NPO

Well my Dad sounds ok, still up at the hospital, out of ICU and in a regular room. Nothing by mouth, until after the heart cath in the morning.

Thankful his even more stubborn girlfriend won the "battle" and got him into the hospital. You know how those men can be.

He has had a lot of company, and we made sure "we said what we needed said", over the phone...just in case.


Thank you for your supportive and kind words and e-mails letting me know he is included in your prayers tonight.

Falling

I was delighted that autumn is approaching. It was 100 degrees today, so I will pretend it is autumn in here.


"Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it,
and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth
seeking the successive autumns."
~By George Eliot~

Heart Sick

In my 35 years on this planet I have learned that there are more "bad calls" from the hospital, than "good calls".

Seems as if Dad does have some blockage, heart cath, and possible stint in the a.m.

So please get to praying folks.

My Father is in the hospital....

I got the phonecall yesturday at about 2:30pm. Ughhh. Chest Pain. My Father has heart disease. He also had 3 myocardial infarctions when he was 47. He quit smoking at that time, and had all of the corrective surgeries including a triple bypass. He has been healthy since that time.

Well they have been drawing cardiac enzymes, ran an EKG, and are comparing stress tests. So far, the reports I am getting are "normal", not enough to worry. Sounds like he might have pulled a muscle in the pectoral region which is causing pain.

I guess we will have to wait and see.

Prayers are always needed and appreciated.

Why buy the cow?

I have just calculated the childrens current milk consumption. If they maintain their current intake we will spend about $10,000 dollars on milk by the time they are 18. That figure is one I obtained without factoring in an increase in consumption or inflation.


How much is a gallon of milk in your hometown?

Position of the week #2

Last night I stayed in crow position from the time the instructor told us to get into crow, until everyone was done with position, and until the others were done trying. I was in crow for at least 3 minutes. Longest personal record EVER. YEAH for me.

I am in better shape than I have ever been in, although I am also at my heaviest non-pregnant weight. So I am strong, but look doughy and out of shape. Whooda thunk? Nature is cruel.

To get into crow, it is a weight shift, do not try and "jump".

*disclaimer* ArmyWifeToddlerMom and those assiciated are not responsible for any injury that may occur while you are attempting or in said position. As with any exercise regime, consult youe physician.

International Talk Like a Pirate Day, Something for EVERYONE.

Something for the kiddies.

I have been getting some practice in Pirate speak, thanks to this book. I would recommend it to those parents who like to ham it up at story time. The illustrations are great, and the story is cute. A great bedtime story.

Something for the drinkers.






Something for the ladies.




Something for the perverts.

Do I hear 25? Who will give me 30?

Auction Update!! Folks you only have 4 more days to bid on books, and blog designs!! Go over there and outbid me already, I DARE you. These books are all signed, and would make a great gift for a girlfriend, a blogger, someone at the office, your wife, or your Aunt. The blog design, a great gift for anyone that has an ugly blog, and is stuck in blogger.

Remember all proceeds go to Soldiers Angels Hurricane Relief!!!

Get the word out!! Our Men and Women could use our help!!

Stop in and tell Suzanne, thank you for organizing this community of writers!!

Going to D.C.?

Our Nation's Wounded could use some supportive words, and your presence is needed.
Go over to Andi's place for details .

Thanks Andi for your participation, keeping the blogosphere updated, and letting us hear the real story behind Code Pink.

Dash KNOWS the alphabet

The following is a transcription of events that occurred yesturday....

*disclaimer* the events are once again related to potty training, and toileting. If you are tired of my "poop stories", it would be in your best interests to click on your left arrow now.


Dash: (winded, after running to find me) "Mom, you are never going to believe this, come look."

Me: "Believe what?"

Dash: (grabbing my hand and pulling me to the bathroom) "I pooped a letter J".

Me: "You sure did".

FLUSH

GREAT NEWS!!

Please stop in at Lee Ann's place, and give them a hooooah!!

My Favorite Days are different now...

My Favorite Season used to be Winter go figure. Maybe I watched Dr. Zhivago too many times. I prefer Fall now.

Spring and Fall release days of the Speigal Catalog...ahhh I used to love those days. A fresh catalog, a cup of coffee and any chocolate, and I would be content for hours at a time, perusing the pages. Not so much any more, I have no where to wear "new clothes", I note some of the pages are missing, and there are pages where models are missing faces, and shoes have been scribbled out with bright purple crayon.

Oh and the other favorite day was "FALL BACK"...You know the day when we Midwestern folks could set the clock back and get an extra hour of sleep. The decadence of the extra hour. I imagine I will wake at 5am this year, the children are too young to notice the luxury of it all.

However, today was one of my favorite NEW kind of morning. Almost cool when we woke up, the kids and I went for a walk. They picked beautiful leaves off of the ground in shades of faded yellow green and hunters orange. They held hands. We went down to the school yard and I held onto the backs of their pants as they attempted to climb on the monkey bars. The sky was brilliant blue, and gas was $2.69. The toddlers threw their empty juice boxes in the garbage at the park, without being prompted.

Ode to the Tomato

I love fall, but I will miss tomatoes.....


Home Grown Tomatoes

There's nothin' in the world that I like better than
Bacon, lettuce and home grown tomatoes
Up in the morning and out in the garden
Pick you a ripe one, don't get a hard 'un
Plant 'em in the springtime eat 'em in the summer
All winter without 'em's a culinary bummer
I forget all about the sweatin' and the diggin'
Every time I go out and pick me a big'un


Home grown tomatoes, home grown tomatoes
What'd life be without home grown tomatoes
There's only two things that money can't buy
That's true love and home grown tomatoes

You can go out and eat 'em, that's for sure
But there's nothin' a home grown tomato won't cure
You can put 'em in a salad, put 'em in a stew
You can make your own, very own tomato juice
You can eat 'em with eggs, you can eat 'em with gravy
You can eat 'em with beans, pinto or navy
Put em on the side, put em on the middle
Home grown tomatoes on a hot cake griddle

If I could change this life I lead
You could call me Johnny Tomato Seed
I know what this country needs
It's home grown tomatoes in every yard you see
When I die don't bury me
In a box in a cold dark cemetery
Out in the garden would be much better
Where I could be pushin' up home grown tomatoes

Written by Guy Clark (Who obviously loves tomatoes as much as I do)

Christmas Photo Card Practice Session #2

Please note the children are

a. not poopy
b. not hitting one another
c. not crying

They are smiling the cheeziest grins....

How to clean poop off of carpet in 3 easy steps.

As The Mayor of Poopville, I feel it imperative to share the following cleaning tip.

Pink Ninja, is in the process of toilet raining, and becoming a nudist...go figure.

I am sorry to report, she has had a couple of accidents. One in front of friends. (Thanks, Pink Ninja for keeping Mom's coolness factor in check, I am sure I did not need the help). The other accident apparently "happenned" sans witnesses.

First of all I tried using "resolve" brand. It does not work.

Googleing "how to clean baby poop off of carpet", only leads to finding other Moms with the same problem.

I did find this GEM



Anyway, when I was a nurse I recalled using hydrogen peroxide to remove fresh blood out of my white uniform hundreds of times. So I tested the carpet in the closet to see if it would bleach or fade the color. Carpet was fine.

1)So remove all of the "solid waste".

2)Apply peroxide.

3)gently dab area with a white cloth.

There are sooo many lessons I would prefer not learning.

*disclaimer* ArmyWifeToddlerMom and those associated are not responsible for any ruined carpet, PLEASE test area first!!

If this is NEWS to you.....

Not NEWS.

It is OUR personal responsibility to be prepared.

What about your medical preparedness?

Everything else?

I know we are always adding something to our supplies...