Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Add it to the list...

Yesterday while at the park, (prior to my Son having a grand time whizzing off of the highest point in the park-in front of God and everyone.) We were picnicking.

For those of you who know me, I am sure you are not surprised to hear I love a picnic. However, while eating yesterday, we had company.

A fat red squirrel, who has been hand fed SO MUCH, and SO OFTEN, he is no longer afraid of humans.

For the record, there are things that creep me out in the animal kingdom. I am not a fan of the "bird". Oh I love them as long as they are about 20 feet away. I do not like being chased by geese, roosters, and the like. ICK. I also do not like dead small critters eg:mice, etc. Mind you, I have worked primarily as a hospice nurse, I do not mind dead humans. Dead mice, freeze me up.

I will say this, aggressive, and assertive squirrels have made they're crappy little way onto my list.

You see, the entire time we are trying to enjoy our lunch, the little bastard squirrel was casing the joint. Trying to find the weak link. Dash ate his lunch on the slide. He was creeped out by the bastard squirrel. Pink Ninja stood behind me, cowering in hopes I would protect her. However the squirrel has had plenty of victims at the park. So he picked Pink Ninja to stalk. He seriously was working every angle to get her food. I finally broke down, grabbed a couple of sticks of big red gum and threw it at the sucker.

Dash: "Mom, is that plan A?"

Me: "Plan A?"

Dash: "Yeah, plan A?"

Me: "yeah, I guess."

Squirrel: (snubs the gum, and starts stalking Pink Ninja and I again. )

Dash: "Do you have a plan B, because it looks like plan A isn't going to work?"

Me: "Dash, why don't you come down the slide real fat and scream, that ought to scare him."

Dash: (Thrilled that I am involving his skills as a screamer, and a fantastic slider as assistant with plan B, comes screaming down the slide.)

Squirrel: (The little bastard, gets we mean business, snatches the gum, and retreats to a tree)

Dash: "Mom, it looks like a combination of plan A and plan B worked."

Me: "and that is why we do not feed wild animals."

Next time, I am gonna take the little bastards photo.


Anonymous said...

Love the new look. Very cool. Maybe you need to bring a pellet gun to the park and bring the evil squirrel's lifeless body home to be stuffed!

Anonymous said...

Squirrels are sneaky little critters. One place I used to work had the sneakiest. They'd double-team you. One squirrel would distract you while another would steal your food!

Anonymous said...

I'm not a fan of the squirrel either, mostly cause they are still rodents! Love the new look.