We here are at Casa De Dust, are on the verge of new beginnings, and what was exciting has turned to anxiety. The irony is not lost on me. I promise.
It is frightening to shake things up, for those of us who like routine.
And I have to remember this.
There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Change is frightening to many of us.
Going back to work. Frightening. Particularly for someone that has been out of the work force for 5 years. I have always been confidant at my trade. But now, after 5 years. Wow. The possibilities are endless. I actually have to go into work and be the new girl. I have to look "new", heck I have to be new. Ick. That horrifies me. I have to learn names of people, where things are located, others routines.
Working will also certainly shake things up here on the home front, I am sure.
We also have an impending move. When? Hopefully when school is out. A move, particularly after 7 years means going through things, packing, sorting, and saving money.
We, are a National Guard family. We will be lucky, if this relocation is paid for. The last move was not. Chances are we will have to pay for it out of our own pocket. That is frightening. There are a lot of other things that are frightening about a move. Looking for a house, another job, schools, Drs. Frankly the idea of a move, seems to have me paralized right now. Which is silly. There is no choice in the matter.
So I am currently living in 2 Worlds. One which I am ready to leave, and the other I am about to enter.
I need to move my feet one step at a time right? Because the unknown, as exciting as it can be, it can feel like quick sand.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
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