Saturday, May 14, 2005

Ahhhhhh...Freak Out

The National Guard Officers convention......

So I ended up wearing turquoise sweater set with beading, blue jeans, and the very gorgeous chocolate boots. I also ended up having a handbag that kinda worked. I chose the boots because they have a 4 inch heel. I am 5'7 1/2 so I thought an extra 4 inches might help make me "appear thinner". The last time I saw most of these folks was about *cough* *mumble* pounds ago. Taller is always good.

I did see a lot of great women that I have missed over the last few years while I have been tending to young'uns. I also missed seeing a lot of great women I wanted to see. Everyone was great and friendly. I had 2 women who I had met before, but who I cannot recall names tell me I looked like I have put on some weight". I about died. I also wanted to put a boot up their ass. I cannot imagine saying that to ANYONE........

I did have a great chat with the female reporter that was embedded with the brigade. She is a very personable and interesting, and funny young woman. I really had a lot of questions for her. She is working on a book, and I really am excited to see it come out. I also met the photographer that was embedded with the brigade. I wanted to sit in a corner with them and question them to pieces. I wanted to hear about a "civilians perspective, and if they feel changed. If they think these men need "care" that we are not providing to them. I wanted to ask a lot of VERY personal questions that were not any of my business, and not appropriate for a "cocktail" situation.

Then BOOM. I see a woman who I have really grown to like over the years. (She is a great officers wife, with no pretentious. A really good example of how to treat each other. I have not seen her for ages.) SAYS, IN FRONT of everyone, hey I was looking something up on the 39th and ran across your site. I just froze, and fell into that odd panic. I was standing with 2 woman I am "friends with" who HAVE NO IDEA about this blog. Remember, no one knows about this except for Dear Husband, and people who happen to read this. So I fell into this odd panic. I was embarrassed about my shitty punctuation and spelling. My excessive use of the F word. We are in the bible belt here. I was freaked out wondering how many other people "I know" have read this....... I do not recall what she said about it, I was to stricken with panic. I think Dear Husband was also a little panic striken...although he is very quiet about all of this.

So I was up all night contemplating the existence of this blog. Wondering if I should stop while I am ahead. Wondering if I should start a new blog and hide there.

I started the blog to think things out, have a hobby, express myself creatively, work on my writing, work on my relationships with myself and others. For some egotistical reason I felt I needed an audience to do this.

The great part of the blog.I come to meet some of you by blog only. Most of you are hilarious.Which is hard to do through writing. HARD. I was looking forward to going to a blogmeet to actually see and meet some of you. Saving my money and waiting for the time to roll around. I already know more about some of you than I do "some of my real life people". I do feel more creative, and open.

Have I hurt anyone with this blog, or offended? Maybe I guess, which was not my intention. I haven't had a lot of hits, and I never really thought anyone I knew would stumble across. I am technologically naive. So now I need to struggle with "content and self censorship"....Not something I wanted to do.

So now I need to know, do you have any advice?


Katy said...

I am not sure what to advise. I would hate to not visit your life anymore (weird unh?). I just don't really worry about it. I am so non pc. If I am going to talk about someone and I know they read it, too bad!!!

Anonymous said...

Well, my general rule of thumb is that I can say anything I want about celebrities. But when it comes to other bloggers who might follow a link back, I may be harsh, but only to the point that I'm willing to back up my criticism if asked about it.

As long as you believe that what you're writing is true and you can stand behind your words if confronted (or apologize if you're proven wrong), just keep doing what you're doing.

dawn said...

I'd hate to see you quit- Unfortunately I don't have any advice, but I'm interested in the situation as I'm starting a blog and trying to figure out how to deal with these things.

Sue said...

That is one of my biggest fears. Those close to me know about my blog, but when it comes to my NavyBoy, our relationship is fairly private. I don't think he would approve of my blog and therefore I am extremely careful in what I say about him (including changing his name).

My advice would be to lay low, but stay blogging! You have a great site here! Besides, I find most people I know in 'real life' may have a passing interest but don't tend to hang around long.

Bou said...

I hope you don't quit blogging. You're one of my favorite reads. I come over here a couple times a day, just to see if you've updated.

My family and some close friends read me. I already self censor... to a degree. But notice... I am very big about my anonymity. I almost got outed by a reader of mine who works for our local paper. They were doing something on bloggers. I was a mess. I don't want to be outed.

Oh... and on the boots... I'm all about height!

And... if someone told you they looked like you've gained weight, they did that to make you feel bad. They have obviously been jealous over you and were intentionally being mean. I'd keep far far away from them... forever. Bad evil bitches, they are.

Tammi said...

First - the boots....GREAT choice. I may be biased but I personally think height is good. ;-)

Those "women" that told you that it looked like you'd put on weight....remember I'm closer to you now....and I got some shit kickers that need a good workout. Bad form...really bad form.

About the blog.....don't quit. Please. It's your choice, but you have a great site that has caught on quick. You share important thoughts and feelings and showcase great links. Just wait and see what happens.

Either way - I'm here if you need me!

Some Soldier's Mom said...

don't quit... and if you censor it's like being dishonest or something!! I'd rather you moved and emailed us all about the new locale...

No one in my family except DH knows I blog (and he is not into blogs and doesn't read mine -- says it's like listening to me talk and he does that the rest of the day, LOL)... which was only really hard when my blog got an MSNBC mention and I couldn't tell anyone but him... and my blog is totally anonymous -- no names, no units, no locations (except for my state), no pictures... easier that way -- I never worry that someone will be offended or embarrassed.

The Bobo Knitter said...

I agree with everyone else. I come here everyday to giggle and to gasp. Don't quit. Stay honest. You haven't given out any national security secrets, so I wouldn't worry about it!

Anonymous said...

I'm a bit late... I see already that you've decided not to quit blogging - good choice. *grin*

Think about blogging like you would think about talking in public... in a way. There is always the certainty that someone you know will read you... now you know that others will check your site who know you - just like someone could overhear you at the grocery store.

So far as I can tell - you've never said anything that should come back to haunt you. You don't name names or things like that. If I were you, I'd continue on just as usual. If there's something you're really worried about in a post - either run it past your husband or another blogger (or both) to get their view.

As for the women who had such crass things to say about you... to your face!!! First those women deserve to be insulted directly back at their faces. Second - the only reason I can see for such a comment is that you looked really good and they were jealous. (Yes I've seen this happen to other friends of mine over the years - it never fails to appall me!) Third... I've got a lovely pair of Via Spiga's - I will be happy to put them on and head on over with Tammi to personally kick these women just where they need it!

Fermina Daza said...

As long as you are truthful in your postings and don't violate OPSEC, I see no reason to quit. I know you've already made the decision and I'm glad you're continuing to blog but I wanted to add my two cents.

- hfs