Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Natural Pessimism or Waiting for the other shoe to DROP...

*I woke this morning to find my HP notebook, crashed.... Also note here, I am preparing to be away from home for extended amounts of time. My notebook is my lifeline right now, I have SEVERAL projects in the works......*****INSERT LOTS OF MY USUAL F-WORDS HERE LOT OF THEM. lots of them. LOTS.

I call Optimists idealists.

Optimists call me a pessimist.

I happen to like the term realist.

In this pessimism, I will note I struggle, because I am nothing but thankful, and appreciative of my life and my blessings. BUT This morning, I am thinking I am not a good person, in fact I must not be nearly as appreciative as I would like to give myself credit for. That is a hard pill to swallow this morning.

But my nature is to wait for the other shoe to drop.

It is an awful way to go through the day. And I loathe that I am "that person". Who wants to be around a person waiting for tragedy, and misfortune? There is not much fun it that, is there? And I would certainly recommend my children not take "this approach to life". However I lead by example. An example that will set them up for an anxiety filled life. Because anticipating catastrophe, doe not make it easier when it happens. In fact, I can say I have spent a lot of my life worrying unnecessarily about A LOT of things.

So can I truly be thankful, and a pessimist?

I do not think so.

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