Monday, February 27, 2006

Paging Dr. McSlow

Well, as some of you know, I spent my Saturday evening at the hottest spot in town.

"The Emergency Room"

I spent I spent 10 hours at the hospital, to find out.

1. I have been to bus stations with cleaner bathrooms than this hospital.

2. It takes 5 hours to get out of triage and in to the actual emergency room.

3. People are snoopy.

4. Everyone has a cell phone, and nothing to say.

5. A complaint of pain, that is worse than childbirth with second child, will only get you pain medication 7 hours after initial complaint.

6. It takes 2 phlebotomists, and 4 sticks to draw minimal blood from me.

7. It takes 2 nurses and 4 attempts at starting an IV.

8. The contrast they made me drink prior to CAT SCAN of abdomen, and kidneys, is disgusting, and made me vomit.

9. My cell phone works from every place in the hospital, but the emergency room.

10. Even with a white blood cell count of 19,000, I do not run a fever.

11. A white blood cell count of 19,000, is cause for ruling out appendicitis.

12. Demoral makes me very sleepy..........Very sleepy.

13. Demoral makes me very itchy...........Very itchy.

14. When in the hospital, always have a puke bucket handy, because when you push the button and tell them you are puking, no one will come with one.

15. Bring your own blanket, it is freezing in there, and even if you request a blanket from 6 different staff people you will not get one.

16. An I-pod, is a must in the E.R. it drowns out all of the screaming, and crying, and neighbors vomiting.

17. It takes about 10 hours to be diagnosed with Polynephritis, with possible passing of kidney stones.

18. A white blood cell count of 19,000, makes me tired.

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