Monday, April 11, 2005

Why do douchebags come in sixpacks?

So I am on my first girls only weekend trip ever. My first vacation in at least 6 years. My girlfriends and I are standing in front of my hotel awaiting a shuttle. Remember one of my girlfriends I am with is 57 Scottish, stout, she is on this girlfriend weekend because her husband has emphysema. She is tired. My other girlfriend is 43, she has 5 children. Her youngest has Downs syndrome, and autism........She too is tired. So we are standing in front of the hotel.....With about 30 other people.

Up pulls a Suburban, out pour at least 6 drunk 30 somethings. They are all sunburned and have been out golfing all day. All with sherbert colored golf polos and shorts, and little khaki golf baseball caps. They are all stumbling and loud.

Automatically I know they are trouble, I just know it. I have seen these types in action before.

So I stare ahead expressionless.....and then it happens.

One of these douchebags gets about a foot in front of my face and says... "Your hot"................."for someone almost 40". He stumbles away snickering, with the rest of his douchebag friends.

So I am left standing there shocked. Feeling like I did when I was 14, and boys said mean things. Standing in my t-shirt and blue jeans and tevas, with my Mom haircut. Wondering what I did to deserve to be humiliated in front of my friends and strangers. Wanting to go to my hotel room and cry. We had been in town for an hour. One hour.

"Hello welcome to your vacation, I know you have not had one in at least 6 years. I know you have spent the last 18 months scared to death that your husband might not come home. You have not had painted nails in 5 years. This vacation is a big deal to you. This vacation was supposed to make me feel pretty again. You have been looking forward to it, you are not rich. This is a BIG DEAL. This 2 1/2 days is a luxurious treat, that may not come again for another 6 years."

"You are hot, for someone almost 40"

Douchebags are never alone are they?


vw bug said...

It's too late now, but next time - look him straight in the eyes and tell him at least you are reaching your sexual peak and he lost his 20 years ago. And he'll never be as good or get as much as you will.

I am so sorry to hear this happened. It really sucks. But I hope the rest went well and will more than make up for that one incident.

Tammi said...

What an asshole....and it happens to me alot too. Jerks.

What that stupid SOB doesn't realize (and probably never will) is that women get better with age. He'll never know because a real woman won't put up with that shit.

Did you get the number on that plate? You know I'm getting ready for a road trip....I CAN FIND THEM!!!!

**mutter mutter, picking on my daughter that way mutter mutter**

Katy said...

That sucks. I think we already have a hard time adjusting to the body change, the priority change, and the style change (wait, I always liked food on my shirt LOL) BUTTHOLES LIKE THAT MAKE IT JUST A TAD HARDER. DO NOT EVER TAKE IT TO HEART. He will have his day when he is as limp as month old celery. He will have his day of not feeling so confident. hee hee

Anonymous said...

Well, you have to understand that the only reason he uses that line is that it usually works for him when he's picking up transvestite hookers.

Contagion said...

See, that's just uncalled for. I have thousands of things *I* could have said, but I'm a tactless asshole in situations like that.

On behalf of men everywhere, *I* appologize for the excessive rudeness and barbaric traits that were exibited towards you.

BTW If that ever happens again, try something like, "It's such a shame that not only the viagra didn't work, but it killed the other head as well."

Anonymous said...

You say... I'm supposed to take you seriously when you look like sherbert??? Pul-eeezzzeee. If you change your clothes and stop looking like some sort of ice cream cone poofta - I may just take you at your word... until then - go melt somewhere else... (and then look down significantly).


Darling - there is NOTHING wrong with you at all! Yes, I know this for sure even though we've never met. You're having the young mom insecurity thing going right now. We all go through it - unless we have incredible luck and no bodily changes occur during pregnancy.

When you get the energy or even if you don't have it (I know I still don't have it!) start exercising. And just keep poking along at it - you'll be fine - you will never look like you're 20 again - then again you won't have to BE 20 again (so that's a plus!!!). Enjoy being older and better! And don't worry about idiots with more hair than wit.

If you need any other pep talks... just let me know. I'll be happy to help (not to mention flatten the sherbert man)

Anonymous said...

What Teresa says about exercising is true. Just remember that doing ANYTHING - no matter how small or infrequent - is better than the nothing you're doing now.

And once you've got something, it's not too hard to make it better as you go along. It's that nothing-to-something step that's the hardest part to get over.