Ughhh.
work was fine today, busy, but fine...
I picked the kids up, both had coats, backpacks, smiling...ate spaghetti for lunch, all was ok...(well except for the fact that I needed to go home, and be greeted by a house that needs attention, which always seems to be the case. Even more pronounced, now that I am working)
SR says to me when he gets buckled in..."I did not have a good day, you will have an e-mail from my teacher."
SIGH
ughh....he has more good days than bad right now. But ughhhh, how a part of me wanted to pretend I did not hear this. Seriously I am just tired. Parenting this child takes 6 times the energy the energy it does to parent PN. No joke. It used to take 10 times the energy, and even though it is better, well there was little comfort in that today.
What did he do?
Nothing serious.
Tried to burp a girl like a baby in PE, spoke out of turn and off topic in class, having trouble keeping his hands to himself, and not completing his work.
All impulse control things.
I am considering tying his hands behind his back, but am afraid he would start using his feet to do these things (joking I would not seriously do this)
But ughhh...seriously, the kid is almost 8. He is doing algebra and studying the periodic table, and physics....but cannot figure out what is socially acceptable. So must jump up the parenting to a 7-10 again...which is exhausting. For him, for me, for Dad, for Sissy...it is really exhausting.
The only comfort I have in this, is there are other parents I know with similar issues. Some bloggers, some not, all good parents, with "the one kid" that is just challenging. It boggles my mind. Seriously.
I have no idea what to send back his teacher...seriously. How do I explain that this is normal behavior for him, a bit regressive and I have no clue as to what spurred it, but we do not approve of such things and will have a come to Jesus meeting tonight at 6:00 with DH, myself, and SR....
What have I learned from this...over time I have learned to more accepting of children who have similar issues. I do not immediately think "if I was that child's Mom, that would not be a problem."...I have learned that. I have learned better parenting skills. I have learned that OUR family has a lot to learn from him, and he us.
I have learned how to rephrase things.
On good days, I have learned to say, "THAT is my SR, that is the kind of person you are!"...he smiles proudly. Because part of me wants to say, "see what happens when you act decent, instead of jumping around like a crazy person?"....
I have tried to change how I phrase things, which sounds small, but it really has helped.
Pray for me tonight, I need energy, and wisdom, and patience.....pray for SR. He needs to learn that people will like him for himself, and not this silly behavior. We need him to put all of that energy into other things...
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8 comments:
Wow, it must be contagious cuz Little Monkey's teacher called me yesterday. Said this whole week has been rough. She asked if I would sign off on having her talk directly to LM's therapist so that she can convey what she sees in the classroom and to get advice on how to handle things. I heard repeatedly how sweet and loving and incredibly SMART that child is, but hiding under his desk while everyone is coming to Circle Time and constantly interrupting is trying her patience. *sigh*
Dude, I SO feel your pain.
Been there and done all of this with Michael.
oyoyoyoyoy... my oldest: set the bathroom on fire the FIRST DAY OF FIRST GRADE (playing with matches he found on the playground lighting TP & dropping it into toilet until it got away from him and was discovered by an older child... SIGH). poking... fidgeting... playing... spitballs... looking out window... playing "hide" (no seek) with teachers... He's 29 now and much better LOL
Our number two boy was like that. Back then the only name for the condition was pain in the ...
He's now married, with four sons, one one whom has been diagnosed with ADD. REVENGE! Seriously, though, prayers up for all of you.
I'm sorry but picturing SR trying to burp a girl like a baby made me giggle. I'm just having one of those weeks (lives?) and this type of scene in my mind relieves a great deal of crunchiness.
However, I know that you & I are having our "REALLY?!" moments. I will call you and you can give me the 411 on all this as you were kind enough to call me and allow me to holler in your ear for minutes on end.
I will definitely pray for you & for SR. You do a great job and I, like you, need to find better ways of responding. Like tonight, when M2 said, "This has too much sugar" and put something back on the shelf rather than in the cart. I had to bite my tongue not to say, "You bet it does you little cavity head! You just wait until that dentist is through with you, you'll be lucky if you ever want to chew again!"
Ahem.
We're living that life too. I'm beside myself. The highs and lows are too much for me. We have GREAT days and BAD days and the bad days can be oh so very bad.
Some teachers get it, some don't. His computer teacher doesn't. She hates him. He knows it. This week he decided to pretty much tell her what he thought of her, considering her condescending and nasty attitude towards him. Nice.
It is going to be a very long year for us.
I look at my other two sons and think, "These are from the same family?"
Yaa, I haven't posted on Tot's issues. A 20 minute breakdown because he told the teacher "NO, I won't do finger spacing when I write". Had to conference with the teacher and guidance councilor. Yep, ups and downs...
What to send back to the teacher, the same thing I do:
"It's 4hrs later and you expect me to discipline this. Send him to the office for time out as soon as it happens (the big stuff like swearing). Otherwise, use his token system and he doesn't get his free time at the end of the day."
I haven't checked your blog in years sorry. Demand a token style program, he's good, he gets a token, he's bad token goes away. Strict rules on how to get one and how many are required to get a "treat" after x period of time. Social stories for the classroom on behaviour. Start with small sections of time - ie. 30min = x, move on (over time) to all day = free time on the computer for 15min.
Tell them to quit nagging about the small stuff and deal with it.
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