For those of you who have been reading me for any length of time. You are familiar with SR.
The flapping, jumping, stimming, frustrated, impulsive, but bright child....
I am not sure what happened.
3 weeks into school, he remains on green. There have been no meeting Mom out in front of the school to report an event or events...nothing. There is no gnashing of teeth, re: things that normally would cause teeth gnashing. There is no overwheleming need to leave noisy situations, no uncomfortable looks from him, like his skin hurts from being in situations he does not want to be in. There is no hating music class because of the terrible singing from his peers (he loves music this year)
Nada...
This summer, I took away artificial sweetener in all forms from him. We had previously taken diary, and wheat away to no avail. I am not sure if it helped or not. He learned how to ride a bike, he took swim lessons, he learned to tie his shoes (Thanks Sissy).
There is little flapping, jumping, stimming. No looks of pain when at the state fair midway at being surrounded by thousands of people and motion, and stink and sounds...
Nothing.
I had a 7 year old boy with me, who went on rides, ate a caramel apple, and talked to me about animals...
I am not sure what happened.
I asked him the other night while lying next to him in his bed chatting...
I said "SR what happened, you are a different child."
he said "I guess I needed time to think."
Whatever that meant, I just took it, and put it in the back of my brain, and tucked it neatly into my heart...
We are not sure what has caused the change. Maturity? Maybe his age is leveling out with all of that information he carries? I do not know.
It almost happened over night.
poof....
and this is the child I longed for all of those years I waited for him. This is SR, relaxed, and calm...
Not that I did not enjoy him before, I did. I heart him. I just found myself in a sate of ALERT all hours of the day, all day, every single day the last 7 years. I was always waiting for the next frustration to melt him down, and cause him crashing in his own head ..that it was painful to watch. Painful, because I wanted him to be happy. Nothing less, nothing more. I wanted a happy child.
And it happened over night.
I will give God glory here, because I prayed daily, daily....almost every minute for the grace to do right by him. I read a lot of books, and articles, I tried EVERY single technique in the books, I contacted Moms I knew with similar children, I read up on Asperger's, Autism, PPD, you name it I looked into it. I read books on gifted children. I spoke with family Drs...My efforts felt as though they were almost exhausted.
I am not sure what took place. But whatever it was it took hold FAST.
He is happy, and went to church tonight, he is going to cub scouts tomorrow. There was no sitting down and discussing it, or giving him a pep talk. He is excited, and came home singing hymns for the Christmas program. (Even if while in church tonight, they asked him where baby Jesus came from, and my son replied Mary's vagina) OMG yes he did...I am glad the volunteers had good humor.
Sarah saw it when she was here. She said, he was well behaved. She did not understand why i have spent the last 4 years freaking out. I explained to her, this is all NEW. NEW. Some of you have met him, and can attest to his past behavior...
I can breathe, I can go to work, and do things with more focus, because I am not waiting for the school to call. I am not dreading picking him up from school. I am greeted with smiles from both children...
We can breathe here. It is amazing.
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10 comments:
I think I know where all his wild went... Over night Derric got even more hyper. His Autism teacher is getting frustrated with him... and he has only been in school a week and a half.
I am glad you found something that works!
Hi - I have been reading your site forever it seems. As I was reading I was thinking "I wonder if she made any diet changes" and then got to the point where you said about sweetners - maybe that was it?
Whatever the cause, I finished your post w/tears in my eyes for your son and your family. And especially his comment that he had to think. A wise boy, beyond his years.
Many Hugs, Keri
Yay for your whole family!!
Regardless of the reason for the change in his behavior (he was in our prayers too!), what a wonderful change. I can't wait to see him truly blossom into the incredible person he is to become!
On a side note, I have a friend whose son exhibited many of the same idiosyncracies that SR did and she, too, removed all artificial sweeteners and dyes from his diet (especially the red dyes) and his behavior improved almost overnight.
We will keep praying that this change in behavior is permanent!
I'll claim the credit. When the problems started showing up on your blog I started praying for him whenever I thought of it at bedtime. The creaking and cracking of these old knees makes my prayers extra effective, all that noise just has to get His attention.
Seriously, thanks for the tip on the eggs and I'm glad to hear SR is getting better.
I'm so, so glad for you. Give yourself tons of credit, please!
I think second grade is an almost magical year for a lot of kids. We worried constanly for my daughter before second grade. We thought there might be something really wrong with her, (like a social anxiety disorder) but kept rationalizing taking her to doctor after doctor trying to find a "fix". I think because we were deeply afraid that we might be right and we couldn't handle that.
Then...boom. The first week of second grade hit and we had a different kid.
Oh, there have been ups and downs since then (ups and downs define parenthood, dont you think?) but we've never gotten back to that same kind of worry we had before second grade.
(Sorry for the long comment!) :-)
I have seen where sweetners and dyes can do very wacky things in kids' systems. Let's hope that's what it was and that now, he'll be able to spread his wings a little and find his own.
You, however, have always created a safe and secure place for SR to fall. Don't discount your part in this. No matter what, he knew you were there, rooting for him. That is not to say you weren't ever frustrated or what not--you're pretty terrific, but you're human. :)
I'm glad SR had some time to think and that he's enjoying being a kid. :) A very inquisitive, very bright, very rambunctious, very handsome kid.
Simply wonderful news!!!
May this last, and last, and last!!!
God Bless,
Chuck
I don't know what did it, but file it away mentally... all of it. Write it down if you have to. In 25 years, he is going to have a son of his own. Or PN will. Someone is going to have a child like him. You will be the stable force that can say, "This is what I observed... this is what we did... this is when it ended."
I say that because... I have issues with my youngest. I feel certain my husband had similar issues. How many times have I wanted to call my mother in law and ask her... and she's not here to ask. I think not a week goes by when I don't wish I could ask her.
praise God... rest.
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