Living with Snipers

Go WATCH IT at Dollards

Discombobulation

That is DH and I right now.

The strange anxiety and odd disconnect that takes place before a departure.

Both of us trying our hardest to get tasks at hand done, but feeling like the time could be spent better together...

It is for sure a strange feeling. Hard to describe. It seemed like I wondered through the house, not getting anything done most of the day. And when I called him at work to let him know, I was feeling this strange bit of anxiety and disorganization I was glad to hear it was him too.

The Collective are older, and this coming separation has caused Sir Rowland to be a little angry, and disobediant. Pink Ninja has been good, but when her Father broached her with the subject last night, explaining he had to be gone a while, but would return. She just broke, and the big tears came quietly. So I stood in the kitchen doing dishes staring in at the two of them on the couch. Huddled. Pink Ninja 3 and crying. And her Daddy unsure if she understood what he meant, or if she was confused.

I guess we really won't know until he is gone for a month or so.

And it is coming fast, it is like a train in the distance that gets faster, and I feel like I have my hand on a track and can feel and hear everything- everything.....and before I know it, I will be standing here with quiet...


And I realize he is in the U.S. and I realize it is military training. I realize it is only 5 months. He will be good. But I also realize that we are probably looking at an announcement of an actual deployment soon after this...that makes this a little harder to swallow.

There is never enough time...

If I were Emma Peel....

I might be able to stop time, the next few days are sure to be going to fast.

And the winners are.....

Here is a list of the favorite 2006 mil-blogs!! Congratulations to all of the nominess and participants.

As a diarist, I was thrilled to be in such fantastic company!!

To those of you that nominated and voted for AWTM...thank you!!


And now, without further ado, the 2006 Milbloggie Winners:

U.S. Army

Acute Politics

U.S. Air Force

Afghanistan Without a Clue

U.S. Navy

Doc in the Box


U.S. Marine Corps

SandGram

U.S. Military (Veteran)

Blackfive - The Paratrooper of Love

U.S. Civilian

Soldiers' Angels Germany

U.S. Military (Spouse)

Andi

U.S. Military (Parent)

Some Soldier's Mom


U.S. Military (Supporter)

Fuzzilicious Thinking

Mil-Bloggies voting ENDS at 8:00pm TONIGHT

JP over at milblogging.com continues to be under some sort of technical flu umbrella. You can try and register today and put in your vote.

Thanks JP.

So go over and supprt your favorite blogger in the following catagories...


U.S. Army
U.S. Air Force
U.S. Navy
U.S. Marine Corps
U.S. Military (Veteran)
U.S. Civilian
U.S. Military (Spouse)
U.S. Military (Parent)
U.S. Military Supporter


There are some great new blogs available, and also some great old blogs...go over and participate.

Have fun.

and He was listening

We are safe. I have received many e-mails from people asking if Casa De Dust was wiped out by one of the tornado's that struck Arkansas the other evening. I appreciate your prayers and well wishes, we are safe. We were lucky enough to deal with thunderstorms, 3 power outages, and a little wind. Although those in the area of Dumas, are in need of prayer. The town was devastated.

The week was busy and a long one to be sure.

As many of you know from reading the blog, you will find that we have been looking for a church for our family. I actually have not been detailed about it, because it is a very personal experience for all people. We are Christian, despite my foul language, and not being the best example of a Christian. My Husband and I have been brought up in very different faiths, but are respectful of one another opinions and journeys. And although we include prayer, and other Christian practices in our home I felt it was time to introduce The Collective to building a foundation of faith that involved regular church attendance. Plus, I do love attending church, and having a church family. I want to provide my children with a similar experience, and hope they find comfort and strength in Christ. This current church provides our family with 3 opportunities to attend church on Sunday. If we miss Sunday, we can go Monday. They not only have Sunday School, but Children's Church. A special church service designed for children. It is wonderful, and The Collective are enjoying it immensely. There is even a 3 year old choir for Pink Ninja to join. I am pleased that this Church has not forgotten anyone.

Well, we have been lucky enough to find a a church that we agree on, and that is comfortable for us. I am sooo pleased. The Pastor has been of great service to us, and we enjoy him and his services. Upon his visit, we found out he is a Vietnam Veteran and served in the Marines, he also volunteers as a Chaplain to the Sheriff Department. His service to his community and Nation, was an added bonus to our family.

Upon the Pastor's visit, Sir Rowland came into the room, with all of his precociousness. And when the Pastor asked what grade Sir Rowland would be attending my heart sank. You see, I have been searching high and low for a school for this kid. Due to our current financial situation, it was looking like our local public school, which is a fine school, one of the best schools in the state. However, we are not talking about your average 5 year old. I do not like the way a couple of things are done there, and it is just not the place for Sir Rowland at this time. (remember, this is the kid who requested to leave a circus, because of the smell and noise. Also remember this is the kids, that could sight read some words before he was 2). The decision of school, was wweighing heavily on my heart.

The Pastor sat on my sofa, looked at me smiling, and said...

Pastor: "Did you know the church has an academy?"

AWTM: "no."

The Pastor tells me about the academy, 15 students per class, small rooms, individualized learning. The children are tested, and start where they need to in each subject. Each student is given opportunity to learn at his or her own pace. It is private, and there is a cost involved, but we can apply for assistance.


I visited the academy, it was quiet, relaxed, Teachers, Principal, and students looked happy. Sir Rowland liked it very much. It is the perfect place for him.

Sometimes we are at the right place at the right time, and it is no accident.

My heart is lighter, and Sor Rowland and I can hardly wait for the school year to begin.

Can I have some cheese with this whine?

In other overwhelming news.

DH's next military school was changed from 3 months (which we had planned for) to 5 months. I was ready to do it single handedly for 3 months, but we have been given a week to prepare for 60 more days. That week includes a drill weekend.

There are modifications that need to be made, and quick.

Lazy, overwhelmed, and busy...

Well first there was this piece of news. This is the second time this has been "announced in the last 2 months. Although local commanders are still calling it "rumor".

Bryan Whitman, a Pentagon spokesman, said Thursday that no such deployments have been proposed to Defense Secretary Robert Gates, but other officials have said the planning includes the possibility of tapping Guard units from Arkansas, Indiana and other states.

Well our family was expecting it, and counting on it, that is what my DH does, but I wish they would just tell us already. Because the "rumors" from the Pentagon, seem like they are too frequent to be rumors.

Just tell us, we are "big folks", we can deal with it. It is what my Husband does for a job, just give us consideration of not hearing it on National news AGAIN.....

The battle continues

Some Soldier Mom, shares some very personal details with us.

She touches on the very taboo subject of PTSD, in the most gentle way, only a Mother can.

I cannot wear this

I saw this gorgeous icy blue cashmere cocoon sweater set thingy, and fell in love with it. I tried it on... only to note, it made me look like I was trying to hide under my clothing (which I was). Very unflattering.



So I have noted camoflouging only works if you are a size 5?

Someone needs to turn my ass in to that What Not to Wear Show. I have no idea how to dress my shape...

The Lady

Let the voting begin!!

JP from milblogging.com has announced the nominees for the 2007 milbloggies! He also announces voting begins today.

I was very humbled, and surprised that my readers put in 17 nominations for AWTM. SpouseBuzz, recieved 14 nominations! Wow. I am in great company to be sure. And there are several blogs that are missing.

Go VOTE NOW in these catagories. You must be registered, and signed in.



U.S. Army
U.S. Air Force
U.S. Navy
U.S. Marine Corps
U.S. Military (Veteran)
U.S. Civilian
U.S. Military (Spouse)
U.S. Military (Parent)
U.S. Military Supporter

VOTE NOW!

*you must register to VOTE!!

Must read of the day

I have not spent enough time at Walter Reed to make any judements.

Chuck Z has, go over and read what he has to say.

beauty shop...

Last Thursday Pink Ninja and I took the time to do one anothers hair, she is adorable in rollers!

OK, the brownies won

But I still may have to make the custard...

Look what Sir Rowland did while I was vaccuming the livingroom, so it would be presentable for the Pastors visit.




Yeah, nice manners. At least steal from the side of the pan. NOT THE MIDDLE!!

Here he is enjoying a legal piece out of doors...





BTW, it is 80 degrees out.

If you hate George Cloony....

You will love Pat Dollard. Watch him, in this interview here.
Pat will be on FNC Feb 20, at 10CST. You will not regret watching.

OR?

Coconut custard or brownies for a Pastor's visit?

I am in love with a liar or why I lurve Ann Taylor!

Saturday evening, we dropped in at the maul. Something we never do. I cannot recall the last time I went, it is in the blog. I rarely need clothing. I used to have a lot of clothing, and then well, life happened, stopped smoking, had babies, I gained weight, and sizes. So all of my classic clothing had to be replaced. They were replaced with clothing to camoflauge my body. I used to LOVE to shop, loved it. I have not been keen on shopping since I have given birth. It is hard to dress my new frame. It has effected me tremendously.

I have been working out for the last 2-3 years. Yoga, pilates, weights, walking, I rarely indulge in any snack food, we rarely go out to eat. And well the weight, I have no idea, I have not weighed myself since a laproscopy procedure last summer. Some of my clothes are too big, some still too snug. I have not "dieted". I like to eat, I have had to change the timing of evening meals, and watch my snacking. I LOVE FOOD, I am a good cook, and I will not go without. It is not right, or fair. I have had to learn to modify. (you see, I used to be able to eat and eat and was always underweight, so this has been hard for me)

So I went to Ann Taylor the other day, just to look, just to browse.

DH: "go try it on, I will watch the kids"

AWTM: "uhhhh, I am not in the mood."

DH: "oh go try it on, you need someting new anyway."

AWTM: "OK, gathering an arms worth of things."

For the last 3 years, I have learned to take 2 sizes of everything in the dressing room with me. This is so I do not have to tell the sales lady..."could you get this for me in a size larger, a size --?"

Anyway, guess what I got to do at Ann Taylor?

I walked out in the smaller black skirt to hear the sales lady, and DH tell me how the skirt was too big.

I got to go down a size.

The sales lady said this "let me go find that in a smaller size". And it fit, and I had room.

I stood in the doorway to the dressing room, and I swear I heard applause, and I saw the heavens open, and I felt a warm beam of light cover me. For a moment I was very proud. It was good incentive for me.

I do not care if Ann Taylor does not use TRUE SIZING. I do not care if the sizes are bigger than a true size. Because 2 years ago when my Sister and I were in Memphis, I had trouble fitting into anything in there and looking nice.

Having a simple black skirt fit on a random Saturday, made me smile.

I didn't even buy it, I walked out empty handed.

like peas and carrots

*photo of Pink Ninja from daddy's cell phone.



Saturday, was spent at "the circus". I am a fan of the circus. I grew up not far from the baseball field in our little town. And every summer, American Legion baseball would come to a halt for 3 days, and the Shrine Circus would come to town. The neighbor kids would gather on bicycles, and we would head down to the field to watch them set up. Hoping to steal a glimpse of a tiger, a lion tamer, a clown without makeup. You know behind the scenes stuff. I must have spent 7 summers watching the circus set up behind a chain link fence.

So when DH told me the circus was in town, I was thrilled. We had taken The Collective once when DH returned from Iraq, and we haven't been back since. They were so tiny, I am still unsure if they recall any of it.

We ask The Collective if they would like to go. We get a hearty YES, and jumping up and down from Pink Ninja. Sir Rowland, gives a less enthusiastic version. So we, spend the morning, gathering up our things and we head out.

We find parking, and we get them unbuckled, and head towards the convention center. Pink Ninja announcing that she wants cotton candy. (I am still not sure how she knew they would have cotton candy). I note immediately I had forgot my camera in the TRUCK... damn.

We enter and find terrific seats, DH off to get cotton candy for Pink Ninja, popcorn for Sir Rowland, a pretzel for AWTM. The Collective and I sit and look at the three empty rings. Pink Ninja, then lets us know, "I do not like clowns". This is a pretty normal fear, so no biggie, but I wonder when this started, and why? Sir Rowland is sitting taking all of it in.

We watch kids taking elephant rides. I am prepared to go with them if they want. Its an elephant, of course they will want a ride. Nope, no dice. Pink Ninja wants a pony ride, Sir Rowland wants nothing to do with the animals, "they stink".

So DH returns, and the 4 of us enjoy the show. There are trapeze artists, and elephants, and clowns, which proved to be entertaining to Pink ninja, and "not scary at all". (Rockstar) She also consumes an entire wand of cotton candy. However, between the "stinky animals", the "VERY LOUD MUSIC", and after 2 hours Sir Rowland starts showing signs of OVERSTIMULATION. He can no longer buffer any of it. He is holding his ears, and he wants to leave. Pink Ninja is sitting on her Dads lap, clapping and bouncing to the music, she loves it. Sir Rowland, is cringing in pain.

So I gather him up, and we exit the arena. We are standing outside, and the wind is blowing, and he says "do you hear that? I answer "hear what?" and he sighs, and he says "nothing, it is quiet outdoors." I agree, and we head to the parking lot. Sir Rowland stops me to make sure we look at the city from the arena, and he says "I love the view from all of the way up here." "It is a great view of the city" I add. We walk holding hands across the parking areas, and it is quiet, traffic, birds, wind....

We see what looks like an antique mall, and head that direction, it is closed. We see abandoned railroad tracks, by the grain elevator. We walk along them to see that the overpass was removed, but the track over the river remains. "What a waste, I wonder why they took down this overpass? They could have used the existing route." I answer him, "I don't know buddy."

We get into the truck and I find Sir Rowland his steno book, and and ink pen, and he corrects the damage on paper, building the bridge once again where it once stood. Creating switches, and buffers for the trains.

I look out the front window to see Pink Ninjas bright red winter coat, she is sitting on top of her Daddy's shoulders smiling grandly. The truck door opens. "Mommy, I was not scared of the clowns, and I rode on a pony, I was not scared of the clowns at all....."

MUST WATCH

I watched this last night on CSPAN, and I think every American should listen...


GO WATCH

*
PLEASE GO LISTEN