So what can I do?

just keep swimming, just keep swimming....

I will manage wonderfully I am sure.

The anxiety, occurred to me about 1 1/2 weeks ago. The part that flummuxes me "I have been in far more stressful situations than this, what gives?" I am still unsure. I have been reading my Beth Moore Out of The Pit, book.

Still flummuxed. At least my eye is not twitchy, normally if I flip out I have an eye twitch.

Tomorrow will help, nothing beats kitchen therapy. I have my 4 pies made, 2 pumpkin, 2 custard. I have my relishes ready to go.

OK it is morning, my turkeys are in, the 25 pounder is in my roaster, the 14.5 pound is in the oven. Giblets, and necks are on the stovetop with broth, chopped onion, garlic, parsley, celery and butter.

I only need to peel sweet potatoes, and russets.

The dog just ate my basting brush....

The big thing I have left is cleaning paw prints off of the carpet from when the dog came running in the house last night....see a trend? I am hoping Thanksgiving does not end in the dog consuming one of the entire turkeys ala Christmas Story. I doubt if my Dad would like Chinese food today.

Yesterday we spent the holiday with DH's family, lots of people around 30, most of which SR does not spend a lot of time with....he was not thrilled for 2 hours, and then settled down. thank God, for the first 2 hours, he spent his time trying to create order, in what he felt was chaotic....trying to write rules for tag, trying to figure out why all of the noise etc. I went and ate with him in the basement, and he seemed fine. He joined the rest of us later.

I will be fine, no need to circle the nervous hospital vans, and a little white jacket with snazzy sleeves, at least yet.

I am so Thankful for my job, you have no idea, they are understanding, and the time I have missed because of Pyschologist appointments, IEPS, Hawaii has virtually been ignored. I worked as a nurse for years, which meant I worked almost every single holiday for almost 15 years, and sure you got time and a half, but I recall longing for my family. It is nice working 9-to mostly 3 to 5, leaving my job at work, and having every single weekend off, holidays, etc.

I am also thankful for my MIL being in my home, and having someone here who adores my little family. When I am able to work extra hours, have to go to a meeting, she is able to haul, and organize the collective. I will also mention I have not had to do laundry for about 9 months...that RULES.

I am thankful my Father, and his girlfriend have seemed to turn the corner as far as there health concerns, and I have not had to visit anyone in a hospital for almost 4 months?

I am thankful to have wonderful, and understanding friends, who have tolerated me, during one of my most "this is all consuming and not fair" mood of the year. I hate that I feel both of those ways, but I have felt that way....and I know let go and let God, I also know life is not fair. So I know better, and they tolerated my crying and gnashing over the phone, and they have extended a hand and pulled me to my feet gently, never once saying "hey lady, things could be worse, grow up, get your eggs in a basket and carry on"....

I am thankful my Husband got a promotion, seems fulfilled at work, and has been helping with the Collective, all of SR concerns, and plugged in. He seems happier, and at peace, I have not seen him so content in a long time.

I am going to finish cooking this morning, and meditate on these things, we are blessed.

Hebrews 12:28

Wherefore we receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved, let us have grace, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear: