Wednesday, June 22, 2005

The Talk

According to Prarie Biker, this portion of my Dads advice should have never been given. That WAS IT though, that was "THE TALK". You know "THE TALK". Even Boudicca's sons get the talk. It seems as though TNT, and I got a similar talk. Which was pretty much not worth the embarrassment of anyone involved.

SO I am 15, and am going on a "group date" with a bunch of friends to a movie. I believe the movie was "Back to The Future"...Anyway my Dad sits me down and says this. "Guys have one thing on their minds, and they will say ANYTHING, and DO ANYTHING to get it, do you understand what I am saying? Don't be stupid about it". Mind you at this time, I knew what sex was, but really it hadn't occurred to me to participate, I think this was the year of my first kisses. So I said "yes", and headed out the door.

I remember thinking, darn that was it, that was "the talk". No big birds and bees story. I was really disappointed. I thought at the least I deserved the "wait until you are married", or the "sex is a beautiful thing between two people in love". I did not expect the "don't be stupid about it".

I carried this advice around for a LONG time, was it good advice, sure....Was there better advice. Oh yeah I am sure of that as well.


So what kind of talk are you going to have with your kids?

7 comments:

VW said...

Too funny. Our family was big into reading... I was the 3rd child... I got 2 books and was told to ask questions when I got through.

Right now I'm just dealing with pe-nis versus va-gi-na. My husband is NOT helping. He jokes with my son that my pe-nis fell off. Sigh. So who knows how 'the Talk' will go.

Sissy said...

Mine sounded a lot like yours ArmyWife. And I was ok with that!

But my dad did tell my mom that if I ever had sex, he didn't want to know.

airforcewife said...

I was the oldest child, but the youngest of the cousins (not counting my sibs) in a family where we were all with each other all the time.

My parents never gave me a talk. I was horrified by what my teenage cousins talked about - and that seemed to do the trick.

Until she was 10, my #1 daughter thought that in order to have a baby, you had to go get a shot. Her finding out the actual procedures involved and my getting pregnant with my son coincided and she was physically ill for quite a while. I also got a talk about how I was "nasty".

We tried to dispense with they mystery of "forbidden words" by making them into no big deal. That doesn't work, I promise. My two year old son points and yells, "Tekikles right HERE!" And my girls have no compunctions about discussing "vaginas". ANYWHERE.

prairie biker said...

Exactly right Sissy. I don't want to know.

One night right after we had just started dating, evilwife and I were cuddled up on her parents' couch watching movies. Her father called to me from his office/workshop (damn engineers don't know how to separate the two), "Son, come here for a minute." At this point, I know I'm screwed and not in a good way. He shows me a very nice, shiny Winchester Silver-Tip in .44 magnum. and says, "Son, I want you to notice that I had your name engraved on that (he did). For now, I'm just gonna put this up here on the mantelpiece. Don't ever do anything to make me take it down."

Waddaguy!

My daughter's (the blue-haired daughter is now 13) future boyfriends are all in for a world of pain.

prairie biker said...

Okay, after reading your links it's only fair I throw in my father's perspective on it. He never verbalized it but one night he caught evilwife and I in my room 'practicin'. Good thing for us the door was locked because that slowed him down a little. At that point he removed the door to my room. He didn't use any tools.

"Never in my house again." was all he said about it.

So we went to her house from then on.

One night I accidentally fell asleep in her bed. I woke at 6 am and suddenly realized I needed to make a quick getaway. I did my best to tiptoe in my skivvies to the bathroom to take a leak and bumped into her dad in hall.

"Breakfast is on the table. Do you want 'em scrambled or fried?"

I'm so glad he wasn't talking about my juevos. I was in like Flint from that point on. Although the frequency with which he gave me a chore to do (like grease the wheel bearings on his motor home or change the oil in his car) before he'd let me in the house greatly increased at that point.

Sally said...

Your Dad did good. My Dad didn't say a word to me. Alex is planning on the "I was a teenage boy, once, so I know what they're thinking" line. I'll be backing it up with horror stories of my own vulnerable days...

...which will probably go in one ear, and out the other!

Anonymous said...

well, my mom was a nurse and I got the medical discourse... but since my dear husband was at the service of Uncle S. and off somewhere serving, I got volunteered to give the middle son his "talk" the night before sex ed. class started.

Sitting in a dark car at a Burger King at 10:00 at night after basketball practice, I start the talk with the 13 yr. old with, "Well, I know you know how it's done, but do you have any questions?" and when the response was, "Is it true lambskin condoms don't protect against AIDS?" I knew there was hope on that horizon (and although I answered calmly and with assurance, I was certainly glad for the dark and that the door was locked so that I couldn't fall out!!)