Saturday, November 12, 2005

Deer Camp Widows Guide to Survival

A lot of my "Sister's" have been surprised at my looking forward to Dear Husband being away at "deer camp"....

First of all may I remind you it is 4 days ONLY. I think people forget that he was a participant in Operation Iraqi Freedom for 18 months. 4 days is NOTHING....My Dear Husband is gone a lot for his regular Monday trhu Friday....4 days is NOTHING.

So here is a guide for those of you who need suggestions to make it through deer season!! What am I gonna do for 4 days...

1) NO SHAVING.....while your Husband is out at Dear Camp looking oh sooo Grizzly Adams. No shaving. Think of the time, and money saved here.

2) All of the chocolate you can eat. Yes, that is what I said ladies, you can have chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

3) No extravagant meal planning, cook for the children if you must, but you know they are happy with the most simple of fare.

4) Paper plates for 4 days......ahhh. Your hands and nails will look great.

5) Chick flicks!! You can watch Steel Magnolias without hearing your husband talk about how he thinks Julia Roberts has a horse face...Added bonus, you can watch Closer without watching your Dear Husband ogle Natalie Portman.

6) Did I mention chocolate?

7) I hate to break this to you ladies that are unaware, but there is a bonus. Your Husband probably spent a pretty penny to go Deer Hunting. Gone are the days of men running loose with guns on the countryside. There is a deer lease, gun, ammo, beer, booze, food, tree stand, assortment of knives, hunting license, safety clothing. My Husband had a truck full of stuff on his departure. What is the benefit of that you ask? You my ladies are probably entitled to go spend money on your favorite hobby, clothing, maybe a trip with your favorite girlfriends for 4 days is in order. Be CREATIVE, I trust your creativity.

8) Baths that last an eternity, you can soak and read....Sans interruption.

9) Go out and buy your favorite wine, something to sip on while you are in the tub.

10) Chat on the phone with one of your favorite girlfriends for HOURS!!

11) Listen to ABBA, Sara McLaughlin, Saeta (download), ELO, Rilo Keley, Shelby Lynn....Whatever your Dear Husband can't stand....And sing at the top of your lungs.

12) No makeup!!

13) Pajamas all day, until you need to face your adoring public.

14) More wine.

15) Watch the neighbors pool boy, through your binoculars for hours.....

ladies I know you are "CREATIVE", so if you have any ideas, or suggestions....Feel free to add them.

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