You don't have to turn on the red light

My gut is more important than my brain sometimes.

My gut has saved me, and those around me often.

I recently went to Garrison Keillor's Rhubarb tour. I went alone, because my husband was in England. I wasn't about to miss the show. I have been waiting to see Mr. Keillor for a long time. He puts on a great radio program, and his tales of Lake Wobagon, are written with such a delightful essence. I am there in "his town, in my town, in Tammi's town, in that town we all want to raise our children in."

So I bought one of the best seats in the house, and found a sitter. Ka-ching ( as Bou says). I head South for the evening. I spent too much going over details with the sitter. I had left both sleeping bags out in living in case the toddlers had trouble sleeping. Dear Husband and I rarely go out, and when we do, we typically wait until Pink Ninja and Dash are in bed, and our sitter has a light night. No one has ever put them to bed cept us. Anyway, I spent too much time showing sitter the usual "stuff", and left later than I had anticipated.

I get to the "auditorium", and there is not a parking place anywhere....Garrison typically attracts an over 50 crowd, and they are called "early birds" for a reason. They snatched up every good parking place. I drive around the auditorium for 10 minutes, and see the area is "shady". There is a woman walking around with denim coveralls on, nothing underneath, head down, obviously suffering some pyschiatric problems, there are a lot of bars on windows, and old homes converted into falling down apartments, lots of shirtless, toothless guys drinking spirits out of brown bags on porches. I have lived in some rough places mind you, and I am used to some rough types. I also worked hard to get out, and don't wanna go back.

I check my purse, and I have a leatherman, a knife, a LED flashlight, that if pointed directly in eyes could possibly by me some running time. I did not carry my gun, because this is a Garrison Keillor show, I was not anticipating a rough crowd. I look down at my feet, and note, my shoes are not made for running. I have a pair of brown, 3 inch wedge heels on. These are not running shoes, but I could slip out of them and dash if I had to. I have my phone, and it is charged.

I decide to park as close as I can, so when I leave the show, there will be a crowd to be with. Area is still shady. I find a streetlight and park. I put my best "I can kick your ass" face on, and walk the 5 blocks to the show. I have to walk by 3 groups of men, all shirtless and toothless, there is a group drinking on the porch, a group working on a truck, and another group drinking on the porch. I am alone.

When I step into the auditorium, I can hear the first sing-a-long of the evening. "Beautiful~beautiful~ brown ~eyes". What a difference a block can make. I get in my seat, which was an aisle, center seat and fantastic. (Although I swear I had a hyena sitting behind me) I start to sing along. It is a simple song, with a great melody...and we all sat singing......

Beautiful Beautiful Brown Eyes

Beautiful beautiful brown eyes
Beautiful beautiful brown eyes
Beautiful beautiful brown eyes
I'll never love blue eyes again.

Last night I staggered in the bar room
Fell right down on the floor
These were the words that I uttered
I'll never get drunk anymore.

Oh Willie oh Willie I love you
Love you with all of my heart
Tomorrow we were to be married
But liquor has kept us apart.

For seven long years I've been married
Wish I was single again
A girl doesn't know half her troubles
Until she has married a man.


We finish singing, and the show begins. It is a fantastically funny show, lots of music, and of course they do the usual skits. The band is fantastic, as are the players. Fred Newman who does sound effects for Garrison, is a genius.

However, through the show, I am having a terrible time relaxing, and enjoying myself. I am recalling that the walk from my truck, to the auditorium was scary in the day, I imagine the walk in the darkness will be less assuring.

The show ends, and I leave the auditorium with the masses, and happen to find a group of 7 that parked on the same block. I made it to the safety of my vehicle without incident.

I love and hate that red light in my gut.