Who is this lady?

On Thanksgiving, my son Sir Rowland, sat to my right. He was so excited about the Holiday, and the meal, that almost burst into a million pieces. When I sat down the final preparations, we offered a prayer, and then I made everyone sitting at the table give thanks for at least one thing.

Sir Rowland: "My room, and Thomas the Tank"

Pink Ninja: "Beans" (don't ask, we do not serve beans that often to have her be thankful for them)

Pink Ninja: "Daddy? What aw you tankful foe?"

AWTM: (teary) BlinkBlinkBlink

Daddy: "Well I am thankful for Pink Ninja, Sir Rowland, and Mommy"

AWTM: "I am thankful for each of you as well, and I am thankful Daddy is home, and I am thankful that we are all healthy. I a thankful for Daddy's good work at his job, so we have yummy food, and a warm house." "OK, we can eat"

Sir Rowland, puts his arm around me, and tells me "Mommy, this is sure a good Thanksgiving, everything looks yummy, you outdid yourself." (he is rubbing my arm with his little hand...)

(tears in my eyes) Blink Blink Blink...

Today this woman reappeared again.

We all woke to celebrate Pink Ninja turning 3 years old...

I had stayed up last night, and decorated the kitchen with pink balloons, and streamers, I even put a fancy white damask table cloth on the table with peonies. DH and I got all of the presents that we had bought, and relatives and sent, and we put them on the far end. Everything pink, white and soft, and bows....

I put out good dishes, to make her Birthday Breakfast look special...

When she woke this morning, she came out of her bedroom, smiling.

Like every morning. She almost always is full of joy...

We all tell her she is 3 today, and she smiles even bigger, her eyes disappear...

AWTM: (tears) Blink Blink Blink

Her Daddy turns on the kitchen light for her, and she stood and gasped. Seriously gasped like it was Disney World.

Then she spun around and grabbed at my knees, and said "Tank You Momma, I love you."

AWTM: (tears) Blink Blink

The sweetness is making me cry.

When did this happen to me..?

I do not cry.

Crying is not productive, it is a sign of weakness, I do not cry..... (I don't care if anyone else cries, I just do not do it)

I have sent my DH to war without tears. I have buried my Mother, with a few...I do not cry. I have worked hospice and had many close patient pass...With no tears....I have lost so many relatives, that the Eldest member of my tribe is my Father...I have done it with very little in the way of tears...I have seen my Husband reunite with his children and have done it all without a tear...

and now I am a crier...I am crying at reunions on TV, songs, sweetness, commercials, I cry watching other families reunite at the airport, I cry about everything, and anything....


I look in the mirror at this lady and I recognize her, she looks older, and "curvier" ( I will call it curvier) Where did she come from? And what is she going to do, when something happens, that necessitates tears?

She has nervous hospital written all over her...