Ahhhhhh...Freak Out

The National Guard Officers convention......

So I ended up wearing turquoise sweater set with beading, blue jeans, and the very gorgeous chocolate boots. I also ended up having a handbag that kinda worked. I chose the boots because they have a 4 inch heel. I am 5'7 1/2 so I thought an extra 4 inches might help make me "appear thinner". The last time I saw most of these folks was about *cough* *mumble* pounds ago. Taller is always good.

I did see a lot of great women that I have missed over the last few years while I have been tending to young'uns. I also missed seeing a lot of great women I wanted to see. Everyone was great and friendly. I had 2 women who I had met before, but who I cannot recall names tell me I looked like I have put on some weight". I about died. I also wanted to put a boot up their ass. I cannot imagine saying that to ANYONE........

I did have a great chat with the female reporter that was embedded with the brigade. She is a very personable and interesting, and funny young woman. I really had a lot of questions for her. She is working on a book, and I really am excited to see it come out. I also met the photographer that was embedded with the brigade. I wanted to sit in a corner with them and question them to pieces. I wanted to hear about a "civilians perspective, and if they feel changed. If they think these men need "care" that we are not providing to them. I wanted to ask a lot of VERY personal questions that were not any of my business, and not appropriate for a "cocktail" situation.

Then BOOM. I see a woman who I have really grown to like over the years. (She is a great officers wife, with no pretentious. A really good example of how to treat each other. I have not seen her for ages.) SAYS, IN FRONT of everyone, hey I was looking something up on the 39th and ran across your site. I just froze, and fell into that odd panic. I was standing with 2 woman I am "friends with" who HAVE NO IDEA about this blog. Remember, no one knows about this except for Dear Husband, and people who happen to read this. So I fell into this odd panic. I was embarrassed about my shitty punctuation and spelling. My excessive use of the F word. We are in the bible belt here. I was freaked out wondering how many other people "I know" have read this....... I do not recall what she said about it, I was to stricken with panic. I think Dear Husband was also a little panic striken...although he is very quiet about all of this.


So I was up all night contemplating the existence of this blog. Wondering if I should stop while I am ahead. Wondering if I should start a new blog and hide there.

I started the blog to think things out, have a hobby, express myself creatively, work on my writing, work on my relationships with myself and others. For some egotistical reason I felt I needed an audience to do this.

The great part of the blog.I come to meet some of you by blog only. Most of you are hilarious.Which is hard to do through writing. HARD. I was looking forward to going to a blogmeet to actually see and meet some of you. Saving my money and waiting for the time to roll around. I already know more about some of you than I do "some of my real life people". I do feel more creative, and open.

Have I hurt anyone with this blog, or offended? Maybe I guess, which was not my intention. I haven't had a lot of hits, and I never really thought anyone I knew would stumble across. I am technologically naive. So now I need to struggle with "content and self censorship"....Not something I wanted to do.

So now I need to know, do you have any advice?