Scenes from the Maul...

Yes, it is still 88-98 degrees here with varying percentages of humidity that go anywhere from tropical to balmy.

There is also "the illusive dress" I need in about 6 days......PANIC.

So yesterday I got the children dressed, I put on my makeup, threw on a pair of jeans, threw the double stroller in the truck and we ventured out to see what "America" is wearing.

The mall.

I decided to start in Dillards, they have a very large dress department here, and they are notorious at having a nice section of "clearance" items. SO I pack Pink Ninja, and Dash into the stroller. Dash has a small memo book to keep him occupied and Pink has her current favorite book "The Little Red Hen". For some reason, pushing a double stroller is no easy feat, especially through these Department stores. I almost knocked 2 mannequins over. I should have the buffest arms around town for all of the pushing I do in that damn thing. I should also have great hamstrings from picking up "The Little Red Hen" 100 times.

Dash is being fantastic through the ordeal, reading tags, and being helpful. Pointing out my size when he sees it ...Loudly. Pink Ninja wants OUT of the stroller, she wants to run loose and explore. She is frustrated, and grunting, and kicking. It is clear to me that sitting is not satisfying to her.


The good news is feminine is back ladies, a lot of 30's 40's and 50's inspired dresses. The bad news, there is also a lot of crap. These gowns are made cheaply. The clearance racks are full of ugly dresses, and summer dresses. The children are getting stir crazy, so we get in the elevator (which smells like pee) and head up to the children section. They had plenty of gorgeous clothing choices for the toddlers Christmas photo. However the space between racks makes it impossible for me to shop for children, while having the children in tow. So I left the children's section empty handed as well.

I decide at this time to take the children "out" to the mall......

I go into Gymboree, which I also note is nearly impossible to go through with a stroller. A children and babies store, that is not stroller friendly? Nice. So I leave.

I promise the children a snack. I pick up a small peach strawberry banana smoothie, a small cup of fruit , and a bagel no cream cheese. $8.00 I could have bought a whole chicken a head of lettuce, and sweet potatoes for that. Dash loved the smoothie, and bagel. Pink Ninja chewed on the fruit, and then spit it out or rubbed it in her hair.

I decide that we should take one final spin before leaving. I am stopped by some man selling jewelry in the middle of the mall. I must look like I need a big gold chain with my name in gold cursive, I am also stopped by a man selling "dead sea salts". "Oh lady, let me see yow, hands...Only fow one second".

We go through Build a Bear as well, which is just something I do not get. I am unsure why a parent would find it sooo important to indulge a child with a bear who is dressed in a costume that costs as much as a child's oufit. The toddlers were fascinated with the "machine that stuffs the bears", but neither asked for a thing. Thank GOD.

I think we killed about 2 1/2 hours total. The children were great, no one threw a fit, and I was proud of them.

Oh and before I forget.....one final note.

Abercrombie and Fitch turn down that fucking crap you call music already. We see you, we know you are there.