Ahhhhhhh I can breathe. Dear Husband has been at current job for too long and needed to "make a move". I will add here that I did not make it easy for him. I am exhausted, and drained from the last few years. I was not, and am not ready to pack up an entire home, get present home ready to "show", and look for a new home, with "the collective". So Dear Husband made huge concessions for me. I realize this. I think he really wanted D.C., and although my visit there was lovely and the city did not frighten this "country mouse". I did leave with "sticker shock". I grew up poor...poor....poor. So I tend to freak about money a lot anyway, and D.C. is not a city for the financially faint at heart. There were also other cities that were possibilities. However deep in my heart and in my head I seriously was not up for any big move right now. I have been praying on it for months, and really tried to get over myself. However, I was simply not ready to "begin again".
The last 18 month deployment, has altered any sort of sense of time for me. I still feel as though Dear Husband just got back in country some days. Isn't that weird. He will have been home for an entire year in March. It feels like I just met him at the hotel yesterday. I will also admit here, that I am still "tired". He has been home for a year and I am tired from the deployment. That is unlike me.
The good news is Dear Husband has been offered a good position here in town, I think it will be a high visibility position. I am sure it was not his first choice. I am sure my "burn out" made the decision hard for him. So it looks like we will not be moving. We can stay put, and nest for at least a year. We can both work on professional development, and try and figure out what the next step is.
So thank you Dear Husband. I know it was not an easy choice.