Pink Ninja Training Camp, Lesson #359

The following is a transcription of incident reported to "Old and Slow Mom" by "The Pink Ninja".

So I was minding my own business on Christmas Eve Day. Watching the slow and old Mom put together a relish tray,and humming. Boring, I tell you these people are boring! Normally when The old, slow Mom is busy, I like to practice fighting techniques on Dash, jump on furniture, steal Dash's trains. Sometimes I will practice my diversionary tactics cry and look pathetic so Mom will pick me up. I will add here, this is more effective on Dear Old Dad than Old Mom. She is catching on.

I decided I need the following items, money, Christmas gifts(peace offerings), and weapons. So I try and think of something in the house that will afford me my list. The old woman keeps her purse in her reach all of the time, no can do. So I start thinking about what in the house would be "valuable" as a weapon, and would work in a bartering situation. I decide silverware, is surely my ticket. Even better forks. I just need to sneak in the kitchen, open the drawer and when no one is looking I will quietly remove all silverware, into my most oversized purse. With said silverware I can defend myself by swinging said purse, or poking someone with a fork. I can go down the road to the pawn shop and possibly trade it for gifts, or bigger and better weapons.

Well needless to say, The Old and Slow Mom busted me, with my handbag full of silverware. For God's sake she even took pictures of it as evidence. I hope The Pink Ninja Training Camp Master does not see the photo, my careless act is surely punishable, and could get me thrown out of camp. Pray for me.

*The Old and Slow Mom, also informed me that the silverware, is not silver at all, tis "flatware". Damn, we are poor too. This is of great shock to me.