When all else fails, I am using Santa Claus these days. It seems to have done the trick.
"Stop kicking one another, Santa is watching"
"Stop taking his trains, Santa is watching"
"Pick up your toys, Santa will leave a lump of coal in your shoe tonight"
Last week while Dear Husband was bathing the tots, I could here an escalation of bad behavior, and squawking coming from behind the door. So I walked to the front door, rang the doorbell. It got VERY quiet. In the spirit of the season I decided to show great parenting effort, and had the following one sided loud conversation-----
"What a surprise, Santa!!"
"Yes, the children are being naughty, oh coal?"
"I will let them know thanks, have a good night Santa."
I walk into the bathroom to find Dear Husband trying not to laugh his ass off, and two wet toddlers looking horrified and shocked, that the fat man had just made a trip to the house.
To increase the effect of the encounter, I brought in two black rocks from the flower bed.
Parent of the year award, I doubt it.
I might have to answer to that one in a therapy session in say 15 years.