Since even mentioning "Asperger's" and the possibility that SR could be diagnosed with it, more than 3 years ago, the diagnosis has become more prevalent. And the following things I will say, are more than likely going to offend some folks, but frankly I have been offended at things said, and comments sent over the past few years. Which is probably the reason I stepped away from blogging for so long. However I think I am to the point where if your comment bothers me, I do not have to publish it, or if I do publish it I can ignore it.
We have made progress, SR no longer has obsessive behaviors that rule the home, as he did when 12 months to 3 years of age. These are resolved. SR no longer needs all clothes stripped free of tags. SR has not had to leave a public restaurant because of noise for 3 years. In fact he sang in a microphone in a very loud pub downtown, with a band, and sat through many practices in a small studio with children that played horribly. SR no longer hand flaps as a primary stimming activity, most of the time he does not need a stimming activity. Now he will hum once in a while, repeat a catch phrase for a much shorter time, hop, and rarely flaps. I no longer have to warn him every single time we transition from one thing to the next. He can ride a bike, tie his shoes...both which were hard for him. He does not need reminders for simple activities of daily living.
That is a list most folks do not have to make, or think could be solved with better parenting, or early intervention. SR worked hard to get past all of these things, along with DH and I, who tried to provide him with a sensory diet, and exposure to new experiences etc. Trying to figure out the way to our child. A map to his heart if you will. SR gets most credit for doing things that made him uncomfortable, which is really courageous.
The problem with getting him "diagnosed" as I see it, I am not sure what benefit he will see from it. There is no cure. People are lazy and like taking the shortest way on the map to him, even if it ends in disaster. Part of the reason we are having to look at a real diagnosis now, there is a huge gap between SR and his peers. Academically, he is sound, philosophically he has big questions, and tries to answer them and rethink them. Emotionally, he is quite immature, he hits hyperarrousal quickly on days when he is being pushed to frustration. This is happening a lot this year. Simple things like taking a break, some deep breaths, a walk away will help when implemented. He does frustrate easily, and I am guessing this is partially because academics has always come easy for him, and he is not used to working hard. Hard work or challenging work intrests him, but there is a line...it is not always there, some days it is short, other days it is not noticable . In good news he can TELL us when he is done. He has no problem telling folks, I am overwhelmed right now. People are not listening as good as they should be.
In this day and age there is more material on teaching children with Aspberger's than there is regular children.
So now I am struggling with this...ok we might have a diagnosis now what? It only helps if people know what to do. I am one of those that is going to say his diagnosis is more for those outside of the home than for him at this point.
Prayers again if you will we are headed for a testing session tomorrow.