Friday, September 26, 2008

out of the box, into the fire...

I managed to hand in another application, for a job in which the pay is mediocre, I am over qualified, but the hours are ALMOST ideal.

I found out yesterday while lunching with DH and his office mates, that they are stretched thin, and there is a lot of work to be done. He will have 2 weekends off in the next 4 months. One of those coinsiding with a SpouseBuzz event in Tacoma. So I need a job in which I am HERE, and present when The Collective are here.

This sort of caught me by surprise. I knew I needed amazing hours, but this is more proof of this.

There is a job I am interested in, but it is completely dirrerent than anything I am "used to" is not in the medical field, and that is where most of my working experience is. I will let you know, I am a great nurse, I do not LOVE the profession, but it is easy for me. It is second nature to me. It is autopilot, and although I enjoy it, I am still unsure if it is what I want to be when I grow up.

The new job, might be exciting, something different. there are a couple of things working against me. My age. People in this sector, are usually younger than my 38. I am also not sure what the hours would be, the description does not state it. It would also tie me in with a group of people i do not know a lot about.

The other exhausting feature of the week is...SR. What I have dreaded for the last 6 years, is about to come to a head. And I have thought about every single scenario I can over the last 6 years. I am still unsure the most ideal way to handle it. Because whatever decisions I make will stick, they will last a lifetime. That is a lot of pressure.

Right now we are playing this game....

Asperger's Syndrome, or gifted with asynchratic developement, along with all else that goes with these things. (which is A lot...)

Do I go ahead and get a diagnosis, athough the child is HIGH FUNCTIONING, and just needs to get used to his new envirement? OR do I bite the bullet, and just continue on the current path? Both I can do....Do I want to spend the next part of this journey stepping up my parenting 10 notches, or do I want to deal with IEPs, social workers, councilors, psychologists, buerocratic red tape.....with no real answers in the end, instead of just parenting like it is a marathon... No cure...

Let me also mention here, that SR is sooo high functioning, that when there are problems with sensory issues, frustration, etc...I get the "well you are a shitty parent vibe" from those around us that witness it. I will also let you know, I can spot these kids out now, not only by their behavior, but that of the parents, who are so highly armored with protecting the child in public that it makes me tear up when I see it....

There is no cure, there is no magic pill.

IT requires all of those in contact with SR to be patient and remain plugged into him 100% all of the time. When you unplugg, for 5 minutes there is potential for problems.

It is a marathon, and it is exhausting. Probably most exhausting for him.

And right now, there is no right answer, none....

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