Wednesday, February 28, 2007
That is DH and I right now.
The strange anxiety and odd disconnect that takes place before a departure.
Both of us trying our hardest to get tasks at hand done, but feeling like the time could be spent better together...
It is for sure a strange feeling. Hard to describe. It seemed like I wondered through the house, not getting anything done most of the day. And when I called him at work to let him know, I was feeling this strange bit of anxiety and disorganization I was glad to hear it was him too.
The Collective are older, and this coming separation has caused Sir Rowland to be a little angry, and disobediant. Pink Ninja has been good, but when her Father broached her with the subject last night, explaining he had to be gone a while, but would return. She just broke, and the big tears came quietly. So I stood in the kitchen doing dishes staring in at the two of them on the couch. Huddled. Pink Ninja 3 and crying. And her Daddy unsure if she understood what he meant, or if she was confused.
I guess we really won't know until he is gone for a month or so.
And it is coming fast, it is like a train in the distance that gets faster, and I feel like I have my hand on a track and can feel and hear everything- everything.....and before I know it, I will be standing here with quiet...
And I realize he is in the U.S. and I realize it is military training. I realize it is only 5 months. He will be good. But I also realize that we are probably looking at an announcement of an actual deployment soon after this...that makes this a little harder to swallow.
There is never enough time...