SR now knows he has Asperger's, he does not know all of the details, who does? There is such a variance on the spectrum. We had our feedback session at the psychologist the other day, and he asked to go, I called the Dr. making sure it was ok. So DH and I did not get our entire feedback session, re: all of the testing yet. SR had a lot of questions, was fidgety, and did not like the word autistic. After the session was done he told me he felt "lighter". Mission accomplished.
SR has been doing so well, that Halloween seemed like it should be ok. He chose to go as sodium chloride, PN went as a hula girl. We have a great neighborhood for trick or treating, so I decided to have company. We had 11 folks here. He avoided the crowd, and idle chitter chatter for the most part. Too much blah, blah, not enough discussion about chemistry, or biology. Too much talking, too many people. Too many social expectations that do not make sense to his wiring.
He ended up in sensory overload, needing to touch people, and smash into them, being too excited at one point when the kids were playing in the basement. He pushed his Sister when out trick or treating.
So why was I such a wuss? He has not done this in a while, I felt bad for putting him in an awkward position. Seeing a "normal" 8 year old, in the same house. It put me in some weird state of blinking orange light overload. After the lights went down, and the house got quiet, I had a moment. DH and MIL trying to comfort me over "at least he knew when to go to your bedroom and be alone and watch cartoons etc.....". I am an extrovert, as is DH and PN. Even SR is extroverted, and enjoys people, so it makes holiday time a curse of sorts. As much as he adores people, he really cannot stand the chaos of company for very long. Which means the Holidays are just hard. I cried because there are moments this syndrome seems sooo unfair, like the most cruel thing to place on a child. It makes me angry.
I have tried to explain to many people over the years, the anxiety of having a child like this. It is like being in a tornado watch all of the time. My Motherhood light blinks all of the time. Most of the time it blinks yellow, but when it blinks orange or yellow for excessive amounts of time......not fun. With PN, my light does not blink all day, it rarely turns yellow. SR's Mom light is on all of the time, going from 70% yellow, 10% red, and 20% orange. The orange, and red places are not fun.