If I were a morning person, I could save the WORLD. Or at least myself.

I have never been a morning person.

Never.

Even when I worked from 6am-6pm as a nurse, and had to wake at 4:30am, I HATED it. HATED it.

I woke up every morning loathing the 4:30 hour. I tried to like it, I did, for 8 years I tried liking it.

Me "the talker", does not like conversation in the morning. (Do not expect a smile until 9:30am) Hard to believe, I KNOW.

I do not like romance in the morning either. That romantic notion of rolling over and madly attacking on another in the morning, is not typically appealing. I need to have coffee and brush my teeth.

I am a night owl. I function fantastically from 10am-2am.

I always have. I have insomnia, always have.

In junior high, I would sit and listen to old radio shows until I fell asleep.

I read at night to go to sleep.

I wish I could hop in bed at 10pm, and sleep.

I have tried about everything at this point. Long walks, yoga, and regular exercise does help....no caffeine after 11am, helps.

For 17 years I have been married to a morning person. My children are morning people. Everyone here wakes up going 100 miles per hour.

Me? I look like an ostrich in the morning, all disheveled, and wild, feathers all fluffed up, eyes half closed. Irritated. That is me in the morning.


These children need someone perky in the morning. They need someone who will be ready to go "Sis boom bah! Get ready for school, it is a gorgeous day, the new day awaits, conquer it, I LOVE you guys, etc...."

I am going to have to work on this.

My poor Husband, sings and jokes, and is playful in the morning. Me? Not so much, I should not be allowed to talk to another human until 10am.

And people who wake with cheerful dispositions in the morning, irritate the shit out of those of us who wake slowly.

When my Mother was still living, she and my DH would wake at 5am, make coffee, go on the deck, chat, cook and have a party. My Father who is also an ostrich...and myself, we would wake and roll our eyes at them as we sipped our coffee. We would secretly plot how to make their mornings as miserable ours.

And the other day I read this brilliant little ditty by Tuna Girl...

I so fervently wish that I could be a morning person. This morning I got to hang out and chat with my husband while he got ready for work. I got to spend some quality time with my son who is sickeningly happy in the morning. He was even dancing! And I got to sip coffee while the men in my life had bacon and eggs. It was nice.

I feel like if I could just wake up at 6 a.m. every morning my life we be so much better. All of my problems would be fixed. I'd be the kind of person who exercises and folds laundry right out of the drier. I'd be the kind of person who saves money and has a hobby. I'd be the kind of person who has a clean house and...does stuff.

My teeth would be white. My hair would blow in a constant wind. And I'd wear...outfits!

I am with her, being a morning person could solve all of my problems...

It might make me near perfect...

Or maybe I need another cup of coffee.