hotel hell.....

It is nothing like that movie where Jack Nicholson and his family stay in the hotel where blood is seeping out of the walls. The Shining?

No one is chasing anyone here with knives or the like....

Frankly it is me.

I have done the calculations....

In the last 2 years I have spent 12 of those as a single head of household, because of military schools, and now the change in DH's job...

I wasn't keeping track, but the other day I really had to step back and wonder why every little thing was killing my nerves...

I suppose, it is sort of an accumulation of responsibilities etc...

but living out of suitcases, well it is not for me.

I keep thinking I might not mind all of the "down time", if there was a plan....

I am really trying to BE . Before I know it I will be working 40 hours a week with The Collective in school, I should consider this my vacation.

It might be the fact that we are homeless, living in a hotel (which is NOTHIING like the Eloise books) Maybe if I had the $$ to stay at the Waldorf, but we do not.

There is the daily trips to the rehabilitation hospital to see our strong Uncle try and communicate with head nods, as you watch his big Sister massage his contracted hands.

The daily calls to my Dad to check on his BP, his progress at cardiac rehab. Only to hear he is out mowing, and bagging grass like a shit.

Almost all of our comforts being in a storage unit.

But one never has to look far do they?

The other day at the park, I saw a Mom witha 2-3 year old little blonde boy with a tiny wheel chair. the little boy had a trach.

There was the mom at the rehab center with her 6-7 year old boy, who she had lifted out of his wheel chair, set on a blanket out on the front lawn so they could enjoy the sunset.

The young amputee woman who was running down the road the other day. Frankly much faster than I have ever been able to run with 2 healthy legs....

I need to remember these things at 12:31am, when I am unabel to sleep, DH is snoring, and The Collective are telling me they are not tired yet in the whiniest voices.

We are all healthy....

We are together...

I never need to look far.