What happened to my ass?

I have been tightening up my exercise routine. Which I hate, but really darlings a girl has to do something. Becoming pregnant after the age of 30 with "The Collective", combined with my age and my love of food is dangerous.

So I have had to step things up a notch. Why? I am the only person I know that has probably gained weight after the holidays. Even with an exercise regime.

I have returned to my Pilates class. I hate the damn class too. It is hard. Too much to think about. "Keep your tummy in." (Is that even possible?) "Keep your hips stacked". "Movement is from the hips". "Breath in from the nose, and out from the mouth". "Keep your pilates stance". I mean ick, it is sooo much to think about. Not to mention it is hard. Just plain old fashioned hard.

So, now I have regular yoga, pilates, and yolattes. Am I seeing results? NO. Do I feel results, yes. Am I vain enough, that feeling better is not enough? Yes. I am completely American there. I want RESULTS now. I want my "tummy" back, or my ass, something, anything. I want to be able to stand in front of a mirror sideways, and not have a heart attack.

I seriously know I would be seeing faster benitfit, if I could stand to do cardio. The problem is I HATE CARDIO. Hate cardio. I hate running, I am terrible at it. The only way to get me to run, might be someone chasing me. Or a cheesecake on a stick, heck I might run if someone paid me too. (There is an idea, I must talk to DH about that).

This mornings yoga instructor was the usual "pilates" instructor. She reminds me a bit of Denise Austin, but a little more hyper. She is what we would call in the Midwest a "go-getter". However, I am not such a "go-getter" in the morning. I find her enthusiasm in the mornings to be inspirational, and annoying all at once.

Anyway, I am not seeing results as fast as I would want, so I may have to give in to the cardio Gods, and either start walking (seriously), or bike. Those are my only 2 options. I will not stairmaster, treadmill, eliptical machine, or run. I just will not. The payoff would be great, but I do not like feeling like I am going to puke.

Ick. Oh the other change I am making......no food after 7pm. None. I am allowing myself popcorn one night of the week with a movie, otherwise I need to stay away from food in the evening. (Unless by chance we have date night, which does not happen often) Oh how I will miss my night snacking.

damn.