ArmyWifeToddlerMom

Remembering Ramzi Doany 10 years later

2011-09-11T08:21:00.000-05:00

Years ago I originally had posted this, remembering Ramzi Doany. His sister and I exchanged e-mails that evening after she found my entry......

I think of Doany's family today, and hope they are well and have some sort of peace. But I know the pain of losing such a cheerful, and loving spirit on September 11th, must make this day a painful one.

My prayers continue to be with Doany's family...

On The morning of of September 11th, Ramzi Doany, 35, arrived on the 100th floor of North Tower of The World Trade Center. Ramzi, worked for Marsh and Mclennon as an auditor. We know, Ramzi logged into his computer that morning, and had sent a couple of e-mails out announcing his return to his office after being away on business....

We also know, he called his Mother , upon his return to his home in Bayonne, New Jersey the night before....

What I have learned about Ramzi Doany, through the written accounts of his life, I have certainly enjoyed.

Ramzi Doany, was born to Palestinian parents in Amman, Jordan. His Mother reports, him being a likeable and popular kid. When she would pick him up from school, he would be surrounded by a group of his peers, and he would be, telling them stories and making them laugh.

His Sister told the following story in an interview with a Jordanian news publication.

“As a child, Ramzi once dug a hole in our backyard for a terrible report card he had received and placed a headstone on top,”

“When our parents asked for the report card, Ramzi explained to them that, “it was dead and buried!”Ramzi Doany , attended high school in a London boarding school before coming to Milwaukee as an international student at age 19. With the goal of a career in international business, and earned a bachelor's degree in accounting at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee in 1992. After working in a local accounting firm he moved on to a firm in Philadelphia. That firm was purchased by Marsh & McLennan, and Doany was assigned to their New York office.

His family and friends also give several accounts of his kind and generous spirit.

Ramzi, amassed friends. He amassed them with acts of kindness, like tutoring a woman with lupus, two children and no husband, to get her though college, or letting his college roommate and the roommate's wife live in his condo for two years so they could save money for a down payment on a home.

His Sister says, her brother never had trouble making friends.

“One conversation with our next door neighbors and Ramzi was instantly at ease,” she noted.

Ramzi Doany, loved family events and would take her children to play golf and soccer. "He also loved to cook for us whenever he came for a visit,” his Sister added. "He loved cooking for family, and even took to cooking Thanksgiving turkeys and had great pride in preparation, (even if they were a bit dry)."

Ramzi, also loved reading, and particularly enjoyed the works of Charles Dickens.

In one interview with his Sister, she reports Ramzi, was an adventurist, and Ramzi had put a down payment on a Harley-Davidson motorcycle.

“It was to have been delivered in April or May of this year,” his sister said.

Ramzi, was one of the persons killed in the attacks on September 11th.

His body was never recovered.

In a interview with a journalist, Ramzi's Mother stated....“He always kept in touch,” she said. “If a week went by without a call from him I would always worry, I'm going to miss that presence and energy”.

Friends and family remembered Ramzi Doany in two separate services of Memorial.

One at Milwaukee's St. George Melkite Catholic Church, and another at Al Fadi Anglican Church in Amman.

Ramzi, May you rest in peace, and may your family find comfort in the sweet memories of you....

A note to the Family. I am sure if you are looking for a tribute, or memory of your Son at some time, you might find this site. I truly wanted to honor your Son, and Brother. If there is information that is not correct, or inaccurate, please let me know, and I will change it. If you would like the photos removed, or would like to add photos, I will oblige. If there is any other information you would like for us to know about Ramzi, let me know. I will certainly add it. I am so sorry for your loss...

jones.rachelle@gmail.com

Thank You to the following sites, and memorial sites for providing me with information, and quotes.

The Jordan Times

Scholarhip in Ramzi Doany's name

Jordanian television

Milwaukee Journal

Remembering September 11th site

And she'll have fun fun fun till her Daddy takes her t-bird away

2011-06-15T23:44:00.003-05:00

OK, my DH is gone. My biggest fear of going away was media attention, and I have no idea, but then it came true. Awesomeness...you can read about that HERE. I was also afraid of keeping my poor daughters heart from breaking. Impossible, her Dad is gone, she is carrying on, but it is hard. We all miss him so.

This was the year I was going to be gracious and calm, 2 traits I do not possess, I grew up in a "now house", a "words not minced house". Honestly the most gracious persons I knew are either dead, or church mentors. I have one go getter gracious person I know, and I have watched her for years wondering how on EARTH, she does that. I have been trying to no avail, this year I feel like what was my graciousness was my downfall at school, and now at the above event. However I want gracious children, so will continue with my pursuit. Those of you who have met me know this is not an innate skill. I have to blend my feist with grace? Is that possible?

My Mother in Law has now been living with us for a year. Right now I can say thank God and praise Jesus, I would not be managing a full time job, and the children without her massive assistance.

Henry has started ABA, and extinction type therapies....right at the transition of end of school, Dad gone, and home for summer....here is a blog entry from another blog and she nails it... we are currently in "the burst". It is horrid to watch him struggle for all of us.

And more

2011-06-05T23:13:00.005-05:00

Luau, every shot of the dancers did not turn out well, very entertaining.

The family in front of the USS Battleship Missouri

Hiking Diamond Head, lots and lots of stairs. PN complained more than I did, which would be hard. SR, not a peep. He was trail leader.

DH enjoying a drink poolside...very relaxing.

I told you Diamond Head had a lot of stairs!

a few months in pictures

2011-06-05T23:06:00.004-05:00

Luau, SR photographer. The children are finally old enough to take a picture, so it does not look like I am the personal photographer and do not exist.

SR was fascinated by the submarine, submarine museum, and the nukes

We spent about 7 hours here, and could have spent the entire day.

SR fresh off of the flight, a 12 hour long flight. He thought traveling to the place he always has dreamed of visiting was surreal.

PN on her first plane trip she can actually remember. 12 hours, she faired well.

Seriously thrilled the school year has almost concluded.

2011-05-19T21:56:00.002-05:00

OK I made a mistake this year, I left my son in a class, with a woman I should not have. She was clearly not trained to deal with him, having one child in 27 years with Asperger's in your class, does not make you an expert. There is a saying in the Autistic community, "you know one person with Autism, you only know that autism." Hence the reason they call it a spectrum disorder. When I take SR to therapy, there is the nonverbal, severely affected child that lies on the floor screaming, he twists, and turns, and it appears that his input is not managed by his brain. That child breaks my heart when I see him, and his family. There is the 19 year old, that is Aspergian, that is angry and violent, lives with his parents, and will never be employable, there is the child that has his DS, and that is all I know about him. He has black hair, never makes eye contact, and loves his DS. There is the child that is similar to SR, but needs to be out of classroom because he is hyperarrousable, and melts down 3 times per week, even with medication.

So, I am unsure what this teacher thought she knew, but I can guess. I should have removed him. I did not because I thought eventually she would get him. She did not want to or try, despite the dx, the hours of building an IEP, the hours spent at school meetings with a team of at least a dozen people, heck I had even brought our Dr. I also thought, if she did not understand him, she would at least be charmed by him, frankly he is very popular with most other teachers and office staff, and when I see people outside of school, I hear how much progress he has made, and how they adore him. There was no charming this teacher. I did not get one positive report from her. Not one. The dx of dysgraphia was ignored this year, and this child WROTE WROTE, and WROTE, despite qualifying for speech to text software. He worked hard. She also did not differentiate his material, as they are legally obligated to do. He did the work, all of it. By himself, I had to cheer lead through hours and hours of homework, because frankly it takes him that long to process, narrow, etc especially the writing assignments. Some of his topics were turned down. ( I spoke with the vice principal about this, and she was unsure why). The stress of EXTRA homework was ridiculous. Most teachers I know call for 10 minutes of homework multiplied by the grade, which would equal 30 minutes of homework. There were nights we had 2-3 hours. When we left for Hawaii, the teacher handed us a damn packet the last day before we left, although they all knew we were going, and why. Guess what, the night before we leave I am handed a packet with worksheets (ridiculous busy work and not educational, 2 full book reports one on Sounder, and the other about a blind dog, a narrative about our vacation, and 7 sheets of repetitive cursive words. This took us 2 weeks to complete, after having him in school all day, working 2-3 hours a night.

He did finish it, and when it was complete, I went and spoke to the VP about never wanting to deal with this particular teacher again, I have wasted my entire year negotiating with a woman who did not bend, or try. The VP was quick to show me her disappointment in this teacher, and said teacher was thrown under the bus. (as she should have been).

However I have learned a lesson, because ya know I am a slow learner I guess. Never waste a year with one of these types of teachers. She had cornered him at the beginning of the year, and did not follow our behavior plans, she was simply mean on several occasions. You want to know something, I never ever said a mean word about any of this woman's shenanigans, and sent SR to her room encouraging him to respect her and listen to her. She did not do the same.

In interesting news, she is the gifted classroom teacher, which means since PN has been IQ tested and performing well at school, this teacher would be PN's in 2 years. No thanks. I let the VP know, on no certain terms should this teacher be allowed to teach either of my children again. ( Mind you the gifted classroom did not exist until this year, when DH and I joined PTO, and are now chair and co-chair of the gifted and high ability learners. They had to create a room for them, because the school was not following what they were legally obligated to do with these kids. They were pulling them out of language arts in order to hold a gifted and talented Spanish class. None of those children got enough hours of language arts in English...ad naseum. )

So the slow learning Mom learned an important lesson this year, it was a waste of our time. I did learn how to copy EVERYONE of any importance on all correspondence with the school, I also learned to not act so reactionary, and be on the front side of things. I had less "oh my God my head will explode" meetings, and learned to be calmer, and not so sassy grizzly bear. (Which is sooo hard). I also learned that if you do not trust a teacher with your child, or she has shown any signs of emotionally abusing a child by not adhering to a plan presented by a physician who is an expert....remove the child yesterday. Do not worry about what the school staff will think, because frankly it does not matter.

In good news, both of the children will be taking private suzuki piano lessons this summer, along with swim lessons, SR will have his science mentor to continue his biology studies, and they will also be doing some serious bike riding, as SR will be preparing for a triathalon, at least that is in the plans. PN took her IQ test, and did marvelously, and is performing well at school, she is driven, well behaved, and well liked. She recently won an art contest, with over 140 entries, but had to be encouraged through her project, because she too is a perfectionist like SR, and she did not think it was good enough. I am hoping to find her some serious art projects.

The trip to Hawaii was awesome, another post entirely, the kids traveled well, did wonderful even with jet lag, learned to snorkle, and LOVED the Island. Will post photos soon.

With the deployment pending, you will probably see more of me on here. The experience of single parenting, working, and parenting is sure to be full of interesting stories.

What bothered me about labeling?

2011-04-04T22:38:00.003-05:00

A short post, I am beat. I had DH tell PN and SR the news about his upcoming deployment. He had some photos of his last trip, and DH used those to tell the story. The kids were zapped, so they seemed ok with the news. We will see how it processes.

Summer activities for gifted kids. There are none if you have a dx of Asperger's. Sure you can pay for camp, and send child, but if the child requires help, or steps out of line. WHAP you are DONE, your money is kept, and boom OVER. If I had extra $$$ to try it, I would, but I do not. I even offered to send an adult with him, to make sure all is well....No.

There is a space camp, but holy crap, it is 1 week days only and almost a $1000. Uh, yeah.

I made several calls to camps. I started feeling like that Peanut's cartoon where snoopy keeps getting thrown out of places. "NO ASPERGER'S ALLOWED". Ughh. If he can behave normally, he can come. I wish I could gaurentee he would not flip out when it got loud, bright noisy...it does not happen often any longer, but I cannot gaurentee it.(I do not understand how I am supposed to teach him normal without him existing in normall?) He qualifies for Easter Seals, they do not have anything for him, he also qualifies for "reading recovery" since he has an IEP. He does not need reading recovery. His woodcock johnson scores, rated him at age 18 for his reading level.

I tried to be charming, I offered to send Grandma with him. Seriously tried. Like any good Momma Bear I got angry, and decided to take a different route. In good news SR's science mentor will be helping me make it through summer, he is now on the AWTM payroll. I am considering having the mentor help train him for a childrens triathalon as well as cobtinue with his science studies.

I am going to try a combo of robotics camp (pray to God he can hold it together, or I loose $$), it is one week, and 2 fun outdoor camps (which we could loose our $$ again) It is what it is, I am trying to get him to learn what normal looks and acts like, and he needs to be around it, to understand people, expectations, etc.

PN wants cooking camp, I found 2.

The kids will both have swim lessons, and piano. I need to keep providing new and interesting things for them.

I was so frustrated about the lack of service and will try my darndest to supplement and provide what he needs. A daunting process considering he is already better at Chemistry and genetics.

I have lined up a private tour of a foundry, his math mentor has a farm, and I am hoping to send the children out one day to help with chores. Perhaps they will learn a lot of amazing things.

I am still trying to find businesses that will give the children a private tour, of things I really think might amaze them.

Hawaii IS AROUND the corner.

List oh crap to do

2011-03-30T21:27:00.002-05:00

plethora of thank yous to write and send.

swim shoes, or sandals for the kiddos.

start packing.

contact summer program again, I spent about 30 minutes on the phone trying to do this today. Trying to get SR approved to moved up to grade 6 activities for summer.

call refuse people and tell them, I have not mowed the lawn yet, so there was no way they could have picked up lawn refuse from me, I refuse to pay $114, for a service I did not do.

get new military ID

get a new big binder for SR's school stuff, it is huge.

Pretty bad when I have to reread things to figure out what has been going on..

2011-03-29T00:37:00.004-05:00

OK, let me see.

My Father's fiancee continues to be in a rehab facility, both arms are out of casts, she is still doing PT for a large portion of her day, her left leg looks rough. I am sure it is an infection, but unsure of her medication regime etc...((It has been hard, but I decided when this happened, she has 4 children, she is not immediate family, and I would keep my mouth shut) This is this families business, so I backed out. I go to visit, and offer support. I do not need to be in the middle of this. My Father, whom has adult onset diabetes, 7 stents sitting in his chest cavity is with her most days and some nights, sleeping in her recliner in her room. (Been there done that with my own mother, and it wiped me out financially, emotionally etc) So I am worried about him, but this is his business as well, he is a big boy.

DH has just returned from a month long trip to Afghanistan. The trip was to familiarize himself with the current conditions, mission etc. He will return soon for a year. The month was long, and lonely...and full of anxiety and insomnia. Which frankly is making me dread the year ahead of us. His homecoming has been nice, being missed is good. SR did better than PN . SR does not overthink people situations, it is what it is (the Aspergers works in my favor here). PN on the other hand has also been having insomnia, bad dreams, grinding her teeth, and has a nasty case of TMJ at age 7. Ughh...PN missed her Daddy something fierce, and just seemed out of sorts for the month. Unsure how I can help her cope better.

DH's broken right radial head is healing slowly but surely. He REALLY missed the kids while away, this time is different for us, there is a relationship between him and both children...the last 2 times we did this...the kids were itty, no explanation required. I thought this was hard when they were teeny, this trumps that. I assure you.

SR just got character student of the week in ART, yes the same teacher who really was confused by him last year. Things are looking up. PE , the one thing I really thought would be a problem area this year, due to games, scorekeeping, the noise, and nature of 3rd grade gym, is awesome. SR has 2 PE teachers, both good, but one has really connected with him, and they get along just fine. SR just maxed out his PE test for the year, and scored in the top 4 of of 150 in his sex and age group in cardio. Pretty amazing for a bookish child, who would rather read than run. I will credit DH with this, as the 2 of them rode over 200 miles last year on bikes. All accounts of SR in classroom are good. God is Good. His IEP is in place, he has a para to help him through the day gets sensory breaks, does not have to eat in the cafeteria. He studies in the afternoon with his mentors, one in science, and one in math. He loves algebra, struggled a but with geometry.

PN is doing well, and enjoys her advanced reading and math group. She like school, and loves the social aspect of it, she continues to keep busy with her art, and is now reading Junie B. Jones books, and likes them. I am proud of er for keeping an eye out for SR at school. She also wants piano and art lessons. She is my organized and internally motivated child.

I am good, working about 38 hours a week, and learning a lot. We just installed a TMS machine, and I am really hoping to see success with it. They are currently working with TMS, in older Aspergians, experimenting, trying to engage the parts of the brain that do not seem to be engaged. I am always excited to hear about new treatments and research for autism...it has been ignored for too long.

I need to spring clean, get living room carpets cleaned, paint PN's room, and get motivated. I loathed winter...loathed it, hated it.

We are headed to Hawaii soon, DH, the kids, and I. We are actually going to get a long break on the beach, sun on our skin, listening to the ocean...it is certain to be an awesome way to spend our 20 year anniversary. I needed something to kickstart me for the upcoming year. We are also planning a trip on his return, unsure what yet, have thought about hiking across Utah, London, Greece, Belize...anything.

Currently life is good, overwhelming but good, learning bounderies, and better time management.

spring snow

2011-02-23T22:48:00.003-06:00

Since I last posted, my Father's fiancee has been moved to a rehabilitation facility. She is suffering now with rehab, and has grown a little depressed. Getting smashed up by a truck would do that. However my Father says she is progressing nicely. We have not been to see her since her move.

PN and I fell ill with influenza A, PN with both influenza A, and bronchitis. It was a horrid bout of coughing, running nose, horrid fevers, and body aches for both. DH decided to take advantage of the warmer temps and rode his bicycle to work, only to crash after hitting a spot of ice, and fractured the head of his right radius. He then spent at least 24 hours total trying to get an authorization for an ortho Dr., which tricare saw fit to wait about 5 days. Seriously a fractured arm is non urgent? Who knew? Gotta love government health care. Ick.

In other news, we had a family catch up session at SR psychologist last night after school, but before scouts. DH and I thought we needed to come together, evaluate progress, and come up with a new plan. He seems to be doing better at school, and adjusting to his diagnosis. School seems to be respecting him, and he them. I am unsure if he will be needing weekly therapy sessions at this time. The dr. would like to try a social skill group with SR and another child to see if they can learn some social rules etc. SR still continues to have a terrible time with perfectionism, and his competitive streak gets old. He seriously thinks he NEEDS to be the best at everything, and when he is not his world falls apart....oye.

PN is now preparing to get an IQ test as well, she is growing bored with school. Which is a shame. Hoping it helps. They moved her to a different math, and reading group, and I am hoping it helps.

We as a family are also planning a trip to Hawaii for April, we are celebrating 20 years of marriage, and DH and I thought it would be nice to have some serious family time before his departure to Afghanistan. We still have not told the children, and I still think it is too early. I need to give them enough time to process the information, but not enough to over think it. Too much notification of a deployment is almost worse than than none in my personal experience. Hawaii will be nice, we need some beach time, and fun time.

Can we just do 2010 over?

2011-02-10T22:08:00.003-06:00

Let me see, where to begin?

My Father's fiance was involved in an auto accident. Her jeep was hit my a semi carrying rebar. You can see photo here. The rebar broke through the straps, her car was totaled, her legs smashed, broken to pieces, knees included. Both of her arms are broken, her collar bone broken. She was lucid enough to call my father from the accident, and he went down and helped 911 remove her from the car, you can see him in a red coat in the photo. When the airbag deployed, and she saw the smoke from it, she thought the car was going to start on fire (she watched her husband burn to death in a welding accident 16 years ago. ) She has been through about 18 hours of surgeries in 2 weeks....amazingly she is alive, and without head trauma.

Still not good, the pain meds are helping her make it through without screaming, but she is talking out of her head, and has no appetite, has lost a great deal of blood, and is weak as a kitten.
My Dad is exhausted, he is going back and forth from Omaha to home, and staying with her often, he is worried. We are all worried. They have been dating for about 5 years now, and even wear engagement rings, wanting to get married. Very sad for me to see 2 loving people who have found one another have to go through so much. My father has been helping care for her, put on her makeup, and put lotion on her, trying to feed her and keep her spirits up.

No other important news at this time......trying to visit them when time allows, and running a home, and praying

Where the Wild things are?

2011-01-23T12:46:00.002-06:00

They are here roosting.

This week was another exciting week @ Casa De dust.

I managed to work during my last Dr. appointment times, so I had to reschedule. Ughh...no small feat since i work when they work. I managed to get before work, and after work appointments. this week dentist, gynocological surgeon, and plastic surgeon (no boob job, a out of control mole that is making its way into my children's artwork).

Must make appointment for PN to go in for a weird skin thing this week.

Both children were ill this week with small head colds, but managed to truck through with little in the way of complaining.

SR has therapy every week, and he made it for that, even with our health insurance those visits to the Pyschologist are $51.00 per visit, and that price was not the same during the plethera of testing, and family appointments during the time he was being tested for Asperger's. So far our share has been more thatn I had ever anticipated. I only hope it is money well spent. We continue to like our therapists, and school seems to be going well.

SR also managed to win third place out of 63 pinewood derby cars at Scouts. Pretty good, and he was pleased and a good sport, and encouraging to those around him. This was huge.

PN "the artist", is currently working on drawing potraits of all of the Presidents, this is keeping her busy, and she is already a much better artist than I. She is also learning how to crochet, and is currently wrapped up in an Afghan in front of the fireplace crocheting. I took her to a coworker's spouses art show this week, and she loved it, she was intrigued with the possibility of having her own show. I must find some art classes for her.

OK the deployment is pending and not happening for months, this does not mean we are not busy trying to get paperwork, tasks, and honeydos done. The list seems to get longer instead of shorter. It will be for approx a year. This is doable for me, but now I am dealing with different aged children, and I am unsure how they will handle a separation from Dad. They do not know yet, and do not need too, there would be far too much time to contend with the emotions re: a separation. This news will wait until I think they can deal, heck until we can ALL deal.

I managed to get my car in the shop yesterday, after a collision that took place with an unlicensed uninsured driver who got out of his car, screamed at me, called me every name in the book, and then took off. He had no brake lights, or back window and I ran into him, with both kids in the car. It was scary, but I kept calm, and the kids kept calm, no one get hurt, and the damage to the car was nominal, the car wrecked pretty nice.

Girl Scout cookie orders have been turned in thank GOD. I am done selling popcorn and cookies for a while....fried out on keeping track of such things. "Where is the bag with the order paperwork?" "I don't know"...etc. It is maddening. The fact the we had to see cookies during blizzard conditions was no help. ICK. We are done for at least 7 months with selling things.

I am still trying to knock things out on my list, it is quite a process. I have come to a small stand still, but am going to muck through. Next project is cleaning my room. Otherwise I am grounded. How a grown woman manages to have a messy room is beyond me. I need to get a few things organized.

I am really ok

2011-01-16T21:17:00.002-06:00

Things are going well here, and was reminded of this today at church.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (King James Version)

Ecclesiastes 3

¹To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

²A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

³A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

⁴A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

⁵A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

⁶A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

⁷A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

⁸A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

I am remembering this today for several reasons.

A couple of weeks ago we attended a wedding service for friends back in Arkansas, it was a beautiful wedding for a beautiful couple. The following day we went to church service at our church we miss so much.

I have mentioned several times here, how much we miss that Pastor, and that giving church family. I was reminded what God does with people. I will continue to listen, and remeber to take advantage of all circumstances even the uncomfortable ones.

This week several things accomplished

2011-01-14T21:34:00.002-06:00

Dr. appointment with referral to plastic surgeon for a mole that is growing out of control on my eye. Referral to a surgical gyno for female problems that plague me. Dental appointment made with a whitening tx.

Plumber fixed a litany of problems, $289.00 worth.

Electrician came and repaired a light.

My husband will be in Afghanistan at some point in the near future. Exotic locale. My heart is sad.

And 2011 begins

2011-01-11T22:08:00.005-06:00

We survived 7 family birthdays, and 3 major holidays, a wedding out of state, 3 minor illness, 4 therapy sessions, 3 birthday parties (including a at home just dance "80's" party for my daughter), a minor car accident, a home refinance, school, and work, and a death in the family since I was here last.

My anxiety has gotten better even with all of that. I will blame the holidays, and wanting everything perfect. When will I learn? The holidays went swimmingly, the food and company were loverly, and I adore being able to spend them with all of my family. It is nice to have a sweet baby around, and a close in age niece for PN to play with. It is also nice to have family here to visit, as I think I am able to relax knowing SR is on home turf, can escape or not when overwhelmed. He typically does not escape when family is here, he enjoys them.

I still have to have a celebration here for all of the January birthdays, as we were away in Little Rock (our former home to attend a beautiful wedding for friends). A birthday party is in the makes!

School seems to be going well for both children. PN is as smart as a whip, and doing well, there are no complaints, she is eager to do homework, and enjoys school. I recieved an email from the leader of the IEP team for SR the other day saying all is well, and they think there are big improvements. Praise God.

Goals for 2011 will be discussed here in brief, because I need to be accountable.

Do something to organize, or complete a project every single day.
-yesterday I organized all of my gift bags and paper for all seasons into totes.
-today I made health appointments for myself.

Loose weight already woman.
-funny thing about being thin for so many years, it makes you dysmorphic, so I think I look ok, until I saw photos of myself from the wedding I went to, I look pregnant. Although I adore my yoga there is no time currently, nor will there be any in the near future. I think I will start by doing Just dance on the Wii with PN everyday for 30 minutes and see how it goes. (that way I can play with her and excercise. It is too damn cold to walk right now, and a membership to any gym is not in my cards.

Get rid of some debt.
-I am paranoid about the collapse of the economy, and am really trying to get rid of small debts I have. There is not much, so this should be easy if my appliances stop hating me.

Get some much needed decorating of the house done.
-includes repainting the main bath, thought I would like the color and I do not.
-paint PN's room, and redecorate for her, she informed me Disney princesses are sooo child like. (ordered new bedding she picked tonight) She wants the kelly green paint too, which makes me nervous.
-paint Master bath, and ceiling.
-need curtains.

Complete several home projects, and fix its.
-garage door repaired
-master toilet driving me bonkers
-basement storage room complete
-need a lot of shelving for books
-have living room carpets cleaned
-make sure SR gets some sort of work space

Organize photos into boxes.

So what can I do?

2010-11-25T22:26:00.002-06:00

just keep swimming, just keep swimming....

I will manage wonderfully I am sure.

The anxiety, occurred to me about 1 1/2 weeks ago. The part that flummuxes me "I have been in far more stressful situations than this, what gives?" I am still unsure. I have been reading my Beth Moore Out of The Pit, book.

Still flummuxed. At least my eye is not twitchy, normally if I flip out I have an eye twitch.

Tomorrow will help, nothing beats kitchen therapy. I have my 4 pies made, 2 pumpkin, 2 custard. I have my relishes ready to go.

OK it is morning, my turkeys are in, the 25 pounder is in my roaster, the 14.5 pound is in the oven. Giblets, and necks are on the stovetop with broth, chopped onion, garlic, parsley, celery and butter.

I only need to peel sweet potatoes, and russets.

The dog just ate my basting brush....

The big thing I have left is cleaning paw prints off of the carpet from when the dog came running in the house last night....see a trend? I am hoping Thanksgiving does not end in the dog consuming one of the entire turkeys ala Christmas Story. I doubt if my Dad would like Chinese food today.

Yesterday we spent the holiday with DH's family, lots of people around 30, most of which SR does not spend a lot of time with....he was not thrilled for 2 hours, and then settled down. thank God, for the first 2 hours, he spent his time trying to create order, in what he felt was chaotic....trying to write rules for tag, trying to figure out why all of the noise etc. I went and ate with him in the basement, and he seemed fine. He joined the rest of us later.

I will be fine, no need to circle the nervous hospital vans, and a little white jacket with snazzy sleeves, at least yet.

I am so Thankful for my job, you have no idea, they are understanding, and the time I have missed because of Pyschologist appointments, IEPS, Hawaii has virtually been ignored. I worked as a nurse for years, which meant I worked almost every single holiday for almost 15 years, and sure you got time and a half, but I recall longing for my family. It is nice working 9-to mostly 3 to 5, leaving my job at work, and having every single weekend off, holidays, etc.

I am also thankful for my MIL being in my home, and having someone here who adores my little family. When I am able to work extra hours, have to go to a meeting, she is able to haul, and organize the collective. I will also mention I have not had to do laundry for about 9 months...that RULES.

I am thankful my Father, and his girlfriend have seemed to turn the corner as far as there health concerns, and I have not had to visit anyone in a hospital for almost 4 months?

I am thankful to have wonderful, and understanding friends, who have tolerated me, during one of my most "this is all consuming and not fair" mood of the year. I hate that I feel both of those ways, but I have felt that way....and I know let go and let God, I also know life is not fair. So I know better, and they tolerated my crying and gnashing over the phone, and they have extended a hand and pulled me to my feet gently, never once saying "hey lady, things could be worse, grow up, get your eggs in a basket and carry on"....

I am thankful my Husband got a promotion, seems fulfilled at work, and has been helping with the Collective, all of SR concerns, and plugged in. He seems happier, and at peace, I have not seen him so content in a long time.

I am going to finish cooking this morning, and meditate on these things, we are blessed.

Hebrews 12:28

Wherefore we receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved, let us have grace, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear:

Anxiety is not my friend...

2010-11-24T23:00:00.002-06:00

In not so good news I am in perimenapause, it is the slowest, most ickiest train ride ever...thank you.

In other news, I am now noting I am having a lot of anxiety that is affecting my mood, and my normal reaction to joyful events, my joy is short lived, my energy is down. I will take responsibility for it.

I am not taking tremendous care of myself, I have not done yoga in AGES. Which is what was helping me keep centered, and giving me time out of my head.

There is a lot going on around here, much of which I cannot write about at the current time, but will share when I can. What is going on around me is making me anxious.

I am spending tremendous energy trying to look cool as a cucumber, when I actually want to run screaming.....not that it would help. My goal for the day is to remain calm, keep it even, have appropropriate conversations, and respond appropriately when spoken to. Really that is my goal, make it through the day appearing too be normal.

I have had anxiety issues before, mostly situational, high stress situations, which frankly if they did not cause anxiety, you would think I was made of stone....

So I am here to recognize it, I need out of my head.

the explanation will come soon, and it will be understood...but for now pray for peace of mind please

I am home, playing catch up

2010-11-14T00:18:00.003-06:00

Here are a couple of photos from the SpouseBuzz Live event. I am so lucky to be part of SpouseBuzz, and blessed to have these strong and resilient women in my corner.

I must add here, that at the last SpouseBuzz in Idaho, I found out one of the other SpouseBuzz authors was in the process of getting her son tested for an Autistic spectrum disorder as well. I am impressed with how she is moving forward, and trusting her Mom instincts, and I am glad to have her as company in this journey.

I am also glad to have a nice group of strong women to listen to, and who listen to me. They are my friends, and I admire each of them. Let me also mention I laughed and laughed for my entire trip. (Except for the flights). I laughed so much I had to know where the bathroom was every single place I went. (Hate turning 40, and yes I do my excercises).

We spent a lot of time on the beach with the sun on our skin, and sand under our toes. I needed this, for many reasons. I am rested and ready to move forward.

unplugged

2010-11-05T23:15:00.003-05:00

Headed to Hawaii for SpouseBuzz Live event. Unplugged for a few days.

Going to sit in the sand, and pray.

Have some reading to do, and movies to watch....going to care for myself for a few days.

PN unhappy about my departure and cried tonight....she is better now, I explained most of my trip would be spent in airports. She wants to come with. Who can blame her?

IEP meeting one took place, as well as the rest of our feedback session.

Halloween made me cry

2010-11-01T06:47:00.002-05:00

SR now knows he has Asperger's, he does not know all of the details, who does? There is such a variance on the spectrum. We had our feedback session at the psychologist the other day, and he asked to go, I called the Dr. making sure it was ok. So DH and I did not get our entire feedback session, re: all of the testing yet. SR had a lot of questions, was fidgety, and did not like the word autistic. After the session was done he told me he felt "lighter". Mission accomplished.

SR has been doing so well, that Halloween seemed like it should be ok. He chose to go as sodium chloride, PN went as a hula girl. We have a great neighborhood for trick or treating, so I decided to have company. We had 11 folks here. He avoided the crowd, and idle chitter chatter for the most part. Too much blah, blah, not enough discussion about chemistry, or biology. Too much talking, too many people. Too many social expectations that do not make sense to his wiring.

He ended up in sensory overload, needing to touch people, and smash into them, being too excited at one point when the kids were playing in the basement. He pushed his Sister when out trick or treating.

So why was I such a wuss? He has not done this in a while, I felt bad for putting him in an awkward position. Seeing a "normal" 8 year old, in the same house. It put me in some weird state of blinking orange light overload. After the lights went down, and the house got quiet, I had a moment. DH and MIL trying to comfort me over "at least he knew when to go to your bedroom and be alone and watch cartoons etc.....". I am an extrovert, as is DH and PN. Even SR is extroverted, and enjoys people, so it makes holiday time a curse of sorts. As much as he adores people, he really cannot stand the chaos of company for very long. Which means the Holidays are just hard. I cried because there are moments this syndrome seems sooo unfair, like the most cruel thing to place on a child. It makes me angry.

I have tried to explain to many people over the years, the anxiety of having a child like this. It is like being in a tornado watch all of the time. My Motherhood light blinks all of the time. Most of the time it blinks yellow, but when it blinks orange or yellow for excessive amounts of time......not fun. With PN, my light does not blink all day, it rarely turns yellow. SR's Mom light is on all of the time, going from 70% yellow, 10% red, and 20% orange. The orange, and red places are not fun.

Feedback session...

2010-10-27T21:48:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow we have our feedback session at the psychologist. SR has said he would like to attend, he has a lot of questions for her. I will bring him. DH, SR and I, on a trip that is sure to echo in my mind for the rest of my days.

The fall has been glorious here, leaves gorgeous. PERFECT. Last weekend my Sister was here, we packed the collective, MIL, my Sissy up and we drove to a local large park and hiked, and enjoyed the sun on our faces, and the leaves. We spent 3 hours walking . A wonderful day. I do wish we would have spent 8 out there though, because today....BRRRR. The wind is vicious, and biting. Farmer's almanac says BEWARE rough winter. This means 6 months on some sort of lock down. This is a shame as DH and SR have been going on very long bike rides. DH riding his bike to work and back, which is 26 miles a day. This has been a good time for him to excercise and center himself. When he gets home, he and SR go on 3-9.5 mile rides. SR is strong, and is loving the alone "guy time", and the freedom that comes with riding a bike. He can choose his path, and it is quiet, he is out of doors which he loves. The biking has been a cool life saver for DH and SR, and has given them a very healthy outlet. With winter coming, they are going to get our YMCA membership back, and start swimming. I have been talking to SR about a possible kids triathalon this year. He thinks it sounds cool. Now that his physical skills are finally at his age, and he frustrates less, the vestibular issues better I need to find things that will challenge him. How we will long for the sun. Time to purchase snow bibs, and boots. I have waited just in case feet grow. I also think flannel sheets are in order, and fuzzy jammies. I loathe the winter.

PN is wonderful, all reports from school went well, she is reading, writing, spelling, and getting along with ALL students. ART is her passion. I am not artsy, or craftsy so this has been a challenge. MIL is artistic and crafty, thank goodness. PN has been decorating the entire house for our HAlloween party this week. She has made centerpieces, gifts for guests, she made a bunny out of a pumpkin. The girl wakes for art, and sleeps art. I am glad she creative, and loves what keeps her little hands busy. She has a great eye for color and detail, something I do not have.

I have had a couple of comments lately, I went ahead and published them, but doubt if I will do so in the future. Knowing a person that happens to have children that are not mine, do not make you an expert. I have mulled every possible option in the last 5 years. Seriously, I have. We even changed our physical address after much research. Our mission now, is to try to help SR understand how he works, how is sympathetic and parasympathic systems are responding and how to get though it. This is not the same child I dealt with 3 years ago, he is figuring it out. He has been making great progress, especially for a child . He managed fine through kindergarten, 1st, and 2nd grades. He has had mentors since his arrival here @ this school, his IQ tests allowed for that. The problems now is frankly SR's asynchratic developement is REALLY showing up this year. His teachers in kindergarten, 1st, and 2nd loved him, and he was little in the way of "teaching", because he had all of those skills. 3rd grade is a challenging year for a lot of these kiddos. 8 is not an uncommon age for a diagnosis.

Anyway, suggestions I do not mind. Calling me CRUEL, that is mean, trollish, and not productive. Those are fighting words, and you can take it elsewhere. There are plenty of places on the interwebs to engage people. You have no idea how I run my home, or what I have done to make it possible for us to function as a family.

It is official, and no surprise

2010-10-24T22:27:00.003-05:00

SR received his official diagnosis Friday. The moment is frozen in my mind, even if it was no surprise to my Husband or I. It is done.

First off how much does the family loves SR's psychologist? We adore her, and I have been thanking God for her for weeks. Funny how God puts you on a path that is winding and confusing, and places such people in your path. She is a blessing. She has made none of this as scary or as painful as I thought it would be. She has made it what it is, and we will try and help SR navigate his way.

Our team met at school, as we always do, with a cooperative spirit. A lot of DH pep talking me, telling me to breath and smile, because I am tired. DH is diplomatic, and quite frankly my fire and his diplomacy makes us a great team. I do not cut loose at these meetings, or accuse people of anything. SR is hard, he does require EXTRA help SOME of the time. I know teachers are strapped for time, I understand all of this. DH are on PTO, so we can advocate for OUR teachers, and OUR children.

The meeting was large, lots of staff present, his science and math mentors, OT, ST, councilors, and anyone in the school we allowed to test him. In good news, our Dr. reported his expressive, and receptive vocabulary were in 99.9%. His fine motor within normal high for age, and is gross motor! This was a surprise to me, and I was expecting his fine motor to be lagging, but it is not. His handwriting is the most beautiful in class, when he is in a good place. When he cannot make an inference or settle his thinking down......shwoop he goes into the sensory place and fast. His stress re: his writing disorder is causing him to hit hyperarrousal fast, and at the beginning of the year we were having him identify his stress and leave the room, recollect and return, then the teacher thought the hyperarrousal, sensory stuff was hoooey so she made him stay in the room. This caused an entire group of new behaviors btw.... All agreed this has been WRONG way to handle this.

So now we are working on an IEP, with several professionals specializing in sensory issues. SR has most difficulty understanding where he is in space @ times, stims, craves pressure, and deep hugs, and of course the SOUNDS, SMELLS, and SIGHTS at school, can be a bit much. When he gets breaks through the day, it seems as though it helps. He has some difficulty in social situations at times, but WOW has he come far. He will also be getting assistance with social learning with others. He will not have to go to the gymnasium in the morning with hundreds of other children because it is overwhelmingly noisy. He can choose to eat in the office with friends as opposed to the cafeteria. DH and I had already arranged his mentors for the end of his day because he was so tired that last year the regular classroom drove him nuts in the afternoon. The mentors in science and math come now @ the end of his day for 60 minutes each. I am thrilled he is learning science and math 1:1 at his level in the afternoon. He enjoys working at his level, and is learning a great deal. He is also building wonderful relationships with his mentors. He will also get to use technology when writing is too much.

So there is more planning to come. I hope the homeroom teacher is on board now. It is very difficult for people to understand SR behaviors and problems when intellectually he seems capable. It is also very hard to understand that anything is wrong or different, because he does adapt so well MOST of the time.

We will continue to work.

the closest thing I have seen that resembles his life...minus the cows

2010-10-18T22:04:00.003-05:00

A dear friend of my husbands recently put a bug in our ears about the Temple Grandin movie

I recall watching 20/20, or 60 minutes in the 1980's and Temple Grandin was being interveiwed, I was probably 14 or so, and the only thing I recall is her explaining how she felt better in the cattle holding device. I recall her awkward speech, and volume...and recall thinking how awful. The only other exposure I had to Autism at that time was an article I had seen in a Life magazine, that a relative had collected. It was from 1965, and it frightened me.

When SR was born, I noted he was not typical of normal babies, he startled easily, he cried often, he liked spinning fans, and watching the mechanics of his swings...some of it is documented here....and some things have improved, others have not. I read, and read, and pondered, and read, and thought. SR never fit the criteria that is asked on paper, there always seemed to be answer that included "well it depends". He spoke early, nothing highly reciprical, mostly to communicate his interests or needs, he could identify expressions on faces, he read early, he could reason through some things well above his age.

This week, the words will appear on paper, loosely handed to me. My son will have some sort of autism spectrum disorder. None of the disorders are the same, each child different. There are people that long for these children to get this label, so they can start fixing them. The problem is they are all different, and there is no cure.

It is going to be a long week, and as much as I love my son, and his eccentricities. There are moments I want a wand, or to wake from this dream. Not that autism is a death sentence, it is simply that when you wait for 10 or so years to get pregnant, your goal is not to have an autistic child. That is me being honest. The past 8 years have been hard, and I see no letting up, or break. By the looks of the paperwork, including legal school paperwork, Dr.s paperwork, the myriad of testing forms that have been filled out, the PTO committees, the Tri-care jumping through hoops health insurance paperwork, the exhausting effort of advocating. All of it frustrates me to no end. It takes time.

I just want him to be fullfilled and happy.....

Fail

2010-10-14T22:03:00.002-05:00

I have not had a very good week, between parent teacher conferences and the pending diagnosis, and a learning disability....fearing for the future and emotional well-being of my son. Not a good place. My inner Mother bear has kicked in. I have been angry before, but now I am angrier.

The other night while at parent teacher conferences I found out that his homeroom teacher is failing him in all subjects she is teaching him. ALL. This is the first time this has happened. I am not telling SR no WAY no HOW. He is fragile after being in her class this year. The meeting with her, was as cordial as I could make it, because I had to send my child back into her room.

Tonight we met with Art, P.E., music, and the computer teacher. He has moments, but minor. They all enjoy him. Yes even the art teacher, who last year was not on board. She is on board now, and said he enjoys the art part of class, she said he is creative, and participates in class.

I called his coordinator, and she was actually shocked at the various problems his homeroom teacher is having. His coordinator and I have had a rocky relationship, but guess what, she gets it now. I think she understands my frustration, SR frustration, and they get along sooo well. She understands how he functions, and she has had few problems with him this year. She is thrilled he is older and can identify his needs.

This is a teacher problem now. SR's psychologist is mortified by the teachers handling of him, and is making a trip to school (even though she has not done this in 2 years). She herself has high functioning Asperger's, and is married to an Aspergian, and they have 2 children with high functioning Asperger's Syndrome. She is coming in to educate this teacher, and the rest of the staff that has to have contact with him.

Let me add here, SR requires little in the way of intervention, he normally just wants to know what to expect with his day. He does not like surprises. He does not like routine disrupted, but will do fine if you warn him. Most kids can go with the flow with stuff like that, some adults can. I like warnings before my schedule gets nutty. He does not like people breathing down his neck, or pointing out to entire room that he is disobediant, defiant, or lazy. It embarasses him. He is anxious at all times around her, he is on the defensive all of the time.

Appealing to her as a Mother

2010-10-13T07:20:00.003-05:00

Parent Teacher conferences for SR last night.

A complete wash if you ask me.

We told her about chemistry day. She said "was it too loud for him there?"

I answered her "no".

And then she pretty much folded her arms, and implied, that the sensory issues we are claiming to have is false, and only when he isn't doing what he wants to do.....

Seriously? Seriously?

I explained hyperarrousal again, and again...I took it apart for her.

I could see her face, and body language.

She thinks she is simply dealing with a child who has a problem with authority and defiance. She also thinks he is being lazy.

I do not understand why she cannot see this.....

Why chemistry day was soooo important, and needed.

2010-10-11T21:54:00.002-05:00

So far this year, SR has heard little encouragement. Long story that I might delve into in this post, forgive me if it seems disjointed.

I asked him to blog on his blog re: Saturday, and this is ALL he wrote.

A few days before this was posted (you can see that, right?), I got 2nd place (vs 1st) on the QuizBowl, threw a fit, but I did not know that I would get something more than 2x as expensive as the prize,a IPod Nano. I was extremely happy.

That made me sad, because he did not see the entire picture only that he got 2nd place. Also let me add, when he found out he got second, DH had to escort him out for a moment, because SR was VERY upset. (HE HATES loosing, beyond normal "I hate to loose". ) He is a perfectionist of the worst kind. Think John McEnroe style meltdown to the 10th. We have tried and tried most everything re: loosing.

DH and I tried to explain him that these other kids were at least 10 years older than him, and they had studied for longer, they all knew what a quiz bowl was...etc. I mean the kid walked in there cold. He had never sat in a lecture, let alone an entire day of lectures.

It did not matter, he was upset he did not get 1st place, and then he was upset that he melted down. The melt downs embarrass him. We almost had them under control until the school year began. Let me add here, he as a rule, does not melt down at all for us any longer. I cannot think of the last time. I just asked DH, and he couldn't think of any either.

However, since 3rd grade, is all about "writing", and because he has what either is dysgraphia or an expressive writing disability the melt downs are almost daily. Since SR has sensory issues , it seems as though they worsen when he is feeling anxious or pressure. Last year we worked out a system, were if he felt he was going into hyper arousal mode, he would show the teacher a yellow card. The yellow card allowed him to leave the room, go to an adult in an office, calm himself, and he would return. This year the teacher decided the yellow card was a bad idea. She thought it was rewarding him for leaving class. She made him a table in the corner of the room, and told him he could go there. So now when he is getting ready to meltdown, and to hyper arousal town, he has to do this in front of his classmates. VERY embarrassing for him. He does not want the meltdowns. His teacher think he melts down to get out of work, this is not the case. His sensory issues cause him to HEAR pencil on paper, he will tell me, it is the worst high pitched screeching sound. (Watch the Temple Grandin movie, and watch the first 40 minutes, listen to people writing, dishes being put on a table ) He also has to concentrate SOOOOO hard on the act of writing it is ridiculous to him, he has trouble picking the direction of content, and wants to present the PERFECT and best assignment. I have him being assessed at school right now by the sensory people, and OT staff. We are aslo addressing this with his Pyshcologist who has Asperger's herself. Every time SR goes to tell her "not good, yellow", she tends to give him a speech about how he is being disobediant, defiant and disrespectful (in front of his class), this makes the meltdown worse, and then the teacher is left with an 8 year old mess of a child. If you hear you are defiant daily, what happens to your behavior? I have begged them to let him have a safe place to melt down. A room full of 8 year olds is noisy. When I argued this with the teacher, she told me I had no idea how she ran her class, "I play music, it is quiet".....to HER she does not understand that he is WiRED differently. The classrooms are open, no doors, 870 kids in the school. He can HEAR everything, and does.

It bothered me that he did not see how amazing he did. He really did not think it was that big of a deal. He was upset that he did not WIN, and upset that he was upset that he did not win.....

UNL Chemistry Day 2010 quiz bowl 2

2010-10-10T23:40:00.000-05:00

And he amazes me

2010-10-10T23:05:00.002-05:00

Chemistry Day was celebrated this past Saturday. DH took SR. I soooo wish I would have gone, and gotten to see SR enjoy the day, because he ENJOYED it immensely. He got to tour labs, watch experiments, and hang out at a college for the entire day. He was comfortable, and did well.

They had 2 activities through the day, one was a scavenger hunt, the other was a chemistry quiz bowl. (Note here those participating were high school students, or undecided college students thinking about chemistry. There was an 11 year old home schooler there as well.) I figured SR would shy away from participating in the quiz bowl. Why? SR has had no formal chemistry class, none. He is in a 3rd grade classroom.

About one year ago, DH and I bought him his first chemistry book after parent teacher conferences, we stopped at a book fair and picked him up 3 small books on chemistry, physics, and biology. Within 2 1/2 weeks he memorized the periodic table, and read the book over and over devouring it, learning everything. I went out and found him another book. It seemed difficult to find a chemistry book that would help his visual spatial style of learning. He read that too, and for the next year I was bombarded with all sorts of questions I could not answer. I took chemistry and did poorly, managed to much through, but managed to know just enough to squeak through. I never intrinsically understood any of it. Google is my friend. I was so excited for him to be around chemists that could actually answer his questions.

SR loved chemistry day, participated in the quiz bowl, (not all participated) and managed to get 2nd place overall. The winner had 22 points, SR had 15, and 3rd place had 11. SR got second place, at 8 years of age after reading 2 chemistry books. AMAZING...seriously SR 's brain amazes me. I also promise it is not simple rote memorization, the child UNDERSTANDS how science works, he understands interdisciplinary approach to science. He adores science and calls it his "quencher". It is the only thing that "quenches me"....

I am waiting for DH to load the videos from his phone. Because the kid was COMFORTABLE, and FINE. Something I think his 3rd grade teacher needs to see as well.

Now I need to figure this out....do I ask the district to go ahead and send him to high school for high school chemistry? He has proved he can manage the material....

He needed this, his teacher and he have had a difficult year. She needs to know why.

YAY Thursday

2010-10-07T22:43:00.002-05:00

We made it, well almost. Knocking on wood.

Tomorrow is Friday, and thank Goodness for that.

Still working on the dysgraphia. Please tell me in 2 years I will not speak of dysgraphia again. I have discovered MAD LIBS are a great way to get a kiddo to write, beyond that....not so much.

Photo rundown from the last few months, you can watch them grow

2010-10-06T22:07:00.004-05:00

Random photos from summer, it has been a while since I posted any. The past 1 week....awesome for us. One bad day for SR today, the semi meltdown had to do with writing. PN started Daisies last night, SR continues with Scouts. DH was a peach and took them both to the outings. I did take SR on a long bike ride. About 4-5 miles. It was a gorgeous night for a ride, beautiful sunset. DH also managed to sweet talk the University into letting SR attend Chemistry Day. This is normally an activity for high schoolers looking for a college. We get turned down a lot from these types of activities, but not this time! YAY it is this Saturday. I am TIRED. Not tired, but TIRED. I too started the melatonin when I need it, and it has done me well. I have always suffered from insomnia, ever since I was small. However I find at this time SLEEP is imperative to my well being. I have lived on 4-5 hours of sleep for about 8 years. It cannot be good for a person.

Kiddos at Mount Rushmore, they really had a fun time. We all did. first REAL vacation. Coolest part? Kiddos are big enough to pack, and carry own suitcases, no fighting in 17 hours in a vehicle!

DH and SR in Deadwood. The Collective were good there too, and even humored DH and I by wearing costumes, and getting a wild west photo taken.

After 7 hours in the car, we made it to Scottsbluff, not much there but Chimney Rock, one of the premier sights to be seen re: Western expansion of the states. the kiddos were not uber enthused, I was. Here is a photo of us getting attacked by giant flying, and biting ants. ITCHY.

The kiddo that took forever to like fireworks, because of sound, etc, loves them! Here is SR up in my hometown getting ready for fireworks with the entire family.

My beautiful neice, and the Collective at 4th of July at Grampanios. I love these little faces!

time zones

2010-10-02T06:44:00.002-05:00

I am on the road, and at Mountain Home AFB, Idaho for SpouseBuzz Live. Of course I awoke @ 4:50am, bright eyed and bushy tailed. I am hoping things @ home are going well, and the kiddos will enjoy their weekend. They got to go out to eat last night, and it was movie night.

I am here in the company of my SpouseBuzz family, and if you can imagine we have been doing this for almost 5 years. Where does time go. I needed the time to catch up with folks. I am not good at sending notes, or keeping in touch with people. All of these ladies have a good sense of humor, even amidst personal crises and pain....which is inspiring. I need to laugh, because really what else can one do?

We visited the new Psychologist for a second time the other morning for an adaptive reasoning assessment for SR. Let me say this, I am thrilled we canned the last shrink. A really unimpressive Dr. The new Dr. is being deliberate, and seems to get it. I do wish DH and I could answer the questions more easily, but all of our answers were "it depends", along with a story or two about why. It took 45 minutes to get 1/2 way through. She was patient, and seemed to intrinsically understand.

SR likes her, and trusts her, and hope she understands him, he feels misunderstood at this point. Part of him is an adult trapped in a child's body, and he is frustrated when adults speak to him in a condescending fashion. She does not, and in fact I let SR answer many of the questions for the Dr. because he was able. In bad news this is being done so deliberatly and slowly, that the school seems not to understand what in the heck is going on. They want to know a diagnosis now so they can "do something". Really, a diagnosis determines what you do, instead of your years of teaching experience? I could go on and on.

I do miss my family this weekend, and will be returning home tomorrow.

enjoy your weekend.

Asperger's the new black

2010-09-29T23:10:00.002-05:00

Since even mentioning "Asperger's" and the possibility that SR could be diagnosed with it, more than 3 years ago, the diagnosis has become more prevalent. And the following things I will say, are more than likely going to offend some folks, but frankly I have been offended at things said, and comments sent over the past few years. Which is probably the reason I stepped away from blogging for so long. However I think I am to the point where if your comment bothers me, I do not have to publish it, or if I do publish it I can ignore it.

We have made progress, SR no longer has obsessive behaviors that rule the home, as he did when 12 months to 3 years of age. These are resolved. SR no longer needs all clothes stripped free of tags. SR has not had to leave a public restaurant because of noise for 3 years. In fact he sang in a microphone in a very loud pub downtown, with a band, and sat through many practices in a small studio with children that played horribly. SR no longer hand flaps as a primary stimming activity, most of the time he does not need a stimming activity. Now he will hum once in a while, repeat a catch phrase for a much shorter time, hop, and rarely flaps. I no longer have to warn him every single time we transition from one thing to the next. He can ride a bike, tie his shoes...both which were hard for him. He does not need reminders for simple activities of daily living.

That is a list most folks do not have to make, or think could be solved with better parenting, or early intervention. SR worked hard to get past all of these things, along with DH and I, who tried to provide him with a sensory diet, and exposure to new experiences etc. Trying to figure out the way to our child. A map to his heart if you will. SR gets most credit for doing things that made him uncomfortable, which is really courageous.

The problem with getting him "diagnosed" as I see it, I am not sure what benefit he will see from it. There is no cure. People are lazy and like taking the shortest way on the map to him, even if it ends in disaster. Part of the reason we are having to look at a real diagnosis now, there is a huge gap between SR and his peers. Academically, he is sound, philosophically he has big questions, and tries to answer them and rethink them. Emotionally, he is quite immature, he hits hyperarrousal quickly on days when he is being pushed to frustration. This is happening a lot this year. Simple things like taking a break, some deep breaths, a walk away will help when implemented. He does frustrate easily, and I am guessing this is partially because academics has always come easy for him, and he is not used to working hard. Hard work or challenging work intrests him, but there is a line...it is not always there, some days it is short, other days it is not noticable . In good news he can TELL us when he is done. He has no problem telling folks, I am overwhelmed right now. People are not listening as good as they should be.

In this day and age there is more material on teaching children with Aspberger's than there is regular children.

So now I am struggling with this...ok we might have a diagnosis now what? It only helps if people know what to do. I am one of those that is going to say his diagnosis is more for those outside of the home than for him at this point.

Prayers again if you will we are headed for a testing session tomorrow.

the fence

2010-09-28T21:35:00.002-05:00

and all of that.

DH and I manged a loverly date, we went out for sushi. I was surprised so many women in their 40's show up for girls night at sushi looking like hookers. But whatever. Put some clothes on please. I am trying to figure out why grown women let their girls out when dining with girlfriends.

WE then went to the movie Get Low with Bobby Duvall, a story about loss, and redemption, and punishing ones self over bad choices. It was good. A nice escape was had by all.

Allergy testing results came back as negative. Which is what it is. I am still going to monitor gluten, because he could be sensitive, and we will watch. thyroid functioning is good, Complete Metabolic profile was all within normal limits. I should be jumping up and down, but I will say I am torn. This would be easier if we could fix something.

We started DHA/omegas nordic naturals 3-6-9, 2 in the morning, 2 at night, and noticed a difference. We also started melatonin low dose at night, because frankly SR would rather sit up until midnight reading science books, and wants to feed his brain at night, because he is not getting all he wants at school. The kiddo needs rest. He performs better when rested.

I am also dealing with a child who is anxious over the school year because of the classroom. I will not go into too much detail because it will appear as though I am pointing fingers. I am not.

I will say, there is a way to deal with SR and a way not to. Because of what likely appears to be Asperger's, he needs low arousal approach, he does not need a hyper reactive approach. Teaching SR also requires a high amount of flexibility.

Flexibility is something humans really do not like for the most part, we like a list, and like things to go our way, and the minute things veer off....most folks do not like that. Teachers that teach for 27 years REALLY do not like it. People that have not really spent much time around these kiddos, do not realize they are quarkey. REally quarkey.

Anywho, we keep pushing, and pulling, and meanwhile SR, is starting to begin to dislike parts of his school day.

I did get notes from teachers last week about how tremendous he was one day. It is one day. But heck I want to frame the damn emails, and notes at this point....

Say a prayer. We go back to the pysch Dr. Thursday for an adaptive reasoning test. How exciting, at this rate we might know something in 2 months.

By the time friday rolls around...

2010-09-24T17:08:00.002-05:00

I will admit I am done. Unsure if it is my age, the week, the over thinking, but seriously I am done. If I could find a way to turn off my brain, soak, and have a drink of wine I think I might be ok. that is not motherhood though, it is continuous.

Tonight DH and I are hitting the town, perhaps dinner, drinks, and a movie...we have had date night 2 times since April. He too is exhausted by the time Friday gets here.

SR had 3 good days this week, 1 day of recovery, and 1 bad day. It is what it is at this point. Right now it is school, it is exhausting to him. Once he knows what to expect, normally it is good, but he is slow to adjust, and for some reason it is not being realized. The bad thing about being sooo high functioning 90% of the time, is that when you are having one of your 10% days, people think you are being a spoiled brat, and can control yourself...how we wish. How he wishes. He expresses to me almost every 48 hours how he WISHES he was normal, and how he wished God created him differently. Right now he is in the middle of some sort of existential crises. Which is sad, seeing that he is only 8.

I have had to become queen of the pep talk, the queen of silver linings. The pep talks, and encouragement lasting hours.

The one thing he is proud of is his intelligence and grasp of concepts, but in our society this is not really allowed to be celebrated. No I do not want an arrogant child. But while everyone is celebrating soccer, baseball trophies, there are visible belts that are earned in karate as you master skills, and he sits on the outside.....unable to celebrate that he is brilliant, well it is sorta sad, and as his Mother it is frustrating. WE cannot tell anyone about his academic accomplishments, because it looks like we are bragging, and creating a monster.

He still cannot compete in any sort of team events, he does not understand social dynamics all of the time, he is also prone to perfection, even though we have not pushed him in that direction. It is typical for what we believe is ailing him. He is not only a perfectionist, but a people pleaser. A dangerous combination.

the other day I went to the GP, he went ahead and ran the tests I requested, and he looked at me sad, our GP and our family have grown attached to one another. He looked at me, like a Father with sadness. Like he wanted to say.."I wish I could fix this". "I will test for whatever you want, you have done your research, he is your child, Mothers know things"....

whatever it is, it is. It is not new. WE have been working and doing for 8 years. We have made progress in this time too. All of us. I have learned patience, and empathy for other parents with children that struggle. So the "welcome to the club" crap is getting old. It is not a new club, they are just giving us our secret t-shirts now. We have been in the club....

Tonight I escape my reality

No I am not DEAD

2010-09-20T22:52:00.003-05:00

I just pretend to be on my blog.

Last time I blogged here, school was just letting out. Summer came and went, the kids keep growing. PN's feet are exponentially bigger......

and then there is the continuing saga of SR.

We are currently looking at the real possibility of food allergies, or sensativities. One of those being gluten, which I have successfully removed from his diet. Something I had thought about 6 times, and resisted because of the overwhelming anxiety re: oh my lands gluten is in EVERYTHING. He has been gluten free for around 2 weeks with some improvement noted in his keratosis pilaris, behaviors, and sleeping habits. I also added Nordic naturals Omega 3-6-9, with noted improvement.

Tomorrow we head to the GP to request parasite tests for stools, magnesuim levels, b levels, a referral to an immunologist, and and endocrinologist. I get to be "that nutty Mom @ the Dr. tomorrow". We are also actively at a psychologists office, who is trying to determine where on the spectrum, and if SR is on the spectrum.

This is all a painful, and tedious process. SR is frustrated beyond belief, being profoundly gifted comes with its own issues, it is not all rainbows and unicorns, as some would think.

I also realize SR problems are not life threatening at this time, and there are many families that would wish for our current situation.

Wish me luck and say a prayer tomorrow, that I am heard, and I am able to advocate for my son. I want him to enjoy being SR.

getting ready

2010-05-25T23:15:00.001-05:00

at the end of the bell curve

2010-05-23T23:32:00.002-05:00

I feel like I need to play catch up, and document things here, in case I ever forget, or just in case anyone is still reading despite my lack of posting.

The schedule here is maddening right now, it is the end of the year, which means extra school activities, extra extra curricular activities, and the like.

The last school meeting we had, I did not document as of yet. In good news the high ability learning team for the district came, per our request. I also had my SIL come because she has her Masters in curriculum and is a second grade teacher as well. There were at least 9 people in attendance including the school psychologist who administered SR's IQ test, and checks in with him from time to time. The principal, the vice principal, SR's homeroom teacher, a councilor, etc...you get the picture. I let DH be in charge, and he shared that position with the school.

I am fatigued emotionally after 2 years of impromptu, and planned meetings expressing my expectations etc. I had to pass it over, I have become cynical, frustrated, and am not ready to play nice any longer. I have mentioned here before, you can poke sticks at me for a while, I am actually conflict avoidant (I swear). However after 2 years of feeling poked at and unheard, I was not feeling like the best advocate.

What DH did do was make them aware that we are not idiots, we can read policy, and we are aware clearly that this child has fallen through the cracks academically, and otherwise.

The high ability learning ladies had some great ideas, and recommendations, and we will continue to work with them. They are professionals in the area of these types of children, and knew exactly what he needed, and would enjoy.

He will qualify for 2 mentors (again)next year of his and our choosing. We are currently looking again at math and science. He did take the 5th grade math AYP the other day sight unseen, and managed an 83%. His science mentor will have to provide complexity and novelty for SR, which will be challenging unless the mentor is really excited about teaching. SR also took the IOWA the other day, and although I am certain academically he is able to skip a grade or 2, emotionally he is not there. Kids like SR are very very asyncratic. Professionals in education are not used to working with children like SR, because the percentages are low. He is considered profoundly gifted, which means there are FEW real life experience with these types of children. (Please read) He can become overwhelmed with details, and noise, and sitting in a classroom with other children. although he has improved tremendously. He also does not want to be advance to another grade, it causes him anxiety, and he is concerned about bullying, and friends. When we asked the ladies that are the high ability if they had any peers in the district for SR, they announced they might have one similar thinker, not similar interests, but similar thinking and processing. We found out he tested higher than any other child in the district.......I need to keep thinking of that in order to process this.
They will differentiate his curriculum to suit him, and will educate all staff that have contact with him. (this has been a problem) He (according to current policy) will have access to a councilor on a regular basis. He will be able to study life sciences, and Earth sciences, continue his research, and present information. He will also be mentoring in the special needs classroom, and I think that community service in school will help him feel useful, and he really does genuinely have concern for others, his empathy is amazing.

You are also looking at the new chairs and co chairs of the PTO committee on high ability learners. We want to help educate parents of these children, and the staff to work together. DH will also be on the board of community review for policy for high ability learners.

PN is getting tested this fall as well.....

There is another meeting this week, where I am hoping to find out more, and make sure they have the ball rolling, I do not want it to stop.

life goes on

2010-05-23T00:04:00.000-05:00

I am taking cheesecake...

2010-05-05T23:00:00.002-05:00

We have yet another meeting at the school tomorrow.

The last meeting was very hard for me to figure out. I normally am a great read, but take an educator who has been in practice for 16 or so years, who is trying to cover his ass, and placate at the same time...I left feeling almost exactly like I did going in.

Also note I PROMISED myself I would shut my mouth, and let DH handle it. 4 minutes into it, I was biting at the bit. I was good, and just spoke my heart....

We met with the principal, (who we found out) was one of the writers of the "gifted and talented policy". We asked him about his policy, and pointed out the several discrepancies between what they told us they would do, their non communication of the policy, and how the policy is a great policy, but only when being adhered to.

I will not go into it too deeply here, because frankly there is too much information, and my brain as far as this is concerned is MAXED out. If they followed the policy, we would have a child who was enjoying school, and not bored.

Every meeting I have had, every single time I have mentioned re: my son, well in almost 2 years, it feels like it fell on deaf ears.

Hence the reason I have let DH, take the drivers seat on this. He is diplomatic, a team player, and extremely good at developing policy. He had the principal stumped a couple of times, and I even saw the poor man turn a shade of almost green when my husband pointed out a specific failure.

It really comes down to a couple of things. Just because someone is credentialed, does not mean they will care, or will know how to implement a plan, and common sense.

I am unsure what happened to common sense but I am amazed daily by the lack of it.

I will also add here, we have a case of a child who is misunderstood by his teachers, and heck most folks, and from what the school psychologist has mentioned, it might be that way until college.

That means my child is coming home and reading Scientific American because he wants to, he is curious, and understands concepts that frankly most adults have trouble with...

and tonight the poor kid had to fill out a homework sheet about people pulling an over sized carrot out of the ground with the assistance of a mouse, and cat.

No wonder he is frustrated, and acting out. He wants to study biology, physics, chemistry....and they are giving him homework about a carrot......

and they wonder what his problem is.

Pray for us. DH has been working very hard...very very hard on this power point for tomorrow. He knows the policy like the back of his hand...

I am going to try and keep my mouth closed and let him keep this staff on task, I have nothing new to tell these people. I have said my piece....

PRAY

And now we are advocates

2010-04-27T22:59:00.002-05:00

The school is clearly not following their talented and gifted policy. They are certainly not following the policy for "extremely highly gifted".

My dear husband, has been in the war room, our dining room table, with school and district written policies surrounding him.

We meet alone with the principal in the morning. Pray for me to shut my mouth, DH has this....

If it were up to me, there would be a lawsuit, and a loss of jobs, accredidation....

DH is far more diplomatic.

I wish there was a nerd school

2010-04-21T22:22:00.002-05:00

full of boys with buttoned up shirts, pocket protectors, people that think math jokes, and puns are funny, chess clubs, you get the picture...

because he would be thrilled.

In case you cannot tell we are getting ready for a come to Jesus meeting with the school. My gut hurts, my teeth are clenched and I want to scream.

DH has been made project team leader of "you could not do your job, and now you have made more work for everyone".....

Pollen, wind, hospitals, and help with laundry...

2010-04-14T23:35:00.002-05:00

Where to begin? Things are just plain ole busy here. DH and I celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary...we are officially looked at as old and seasoned married folks by kiddos that are in their 20's. How did we celebrate? He in Hawaii for work, and I here @ work. Good times folks.

We thought we would both be able to go to Hawaii, but no. He has a military school to attend there. He planned on going, and I planned on going with him, but the powers that be said "no", we do not think you need to go. Wammo 2 days before the classes started "hey Mr. you are going pack your bags." Neither of us thrilled, but hey that is the Army. In good news SpouseBuzz is headed to Hawaii in November, and we intend on going. I pray to God, nothing gets thrown in the spokes.

The dog and I can tolerate one another now, if he gets about 1 1/2 hours to tear ass around. He is protective of the children and I and smart. He knows how to play dead when shot, sit, whoa, roll over, shake, stay, and flush birds. He also is a hunter, and brought me a very stinky headless snake @ the dog park the other day. Thanks Poncho, what I always wanted. He is also about 60 pounds now, and his paws are as big as my hands. WE have had no incidence of peeing or pooping in the house. Which was one of the reasons I did not want a dog in my home. So far he is a good dog. He is learning hand commands, he LOVES flushing birds, and hunting, and instinctively goes on point. He is lovely to watch when he is doing something he enjoys.

My MIL is in my home. To some of you this is an eyebrow raiser, but to those who know me, and my love of her frankly it is not anything alarming. So far so good. It has cut chaos . Imagine coming home everyday to find laundry done, and dishwasher unloaded etc...Imagine being able to run to the store without planning it like a damn 7 week cruise. It is awesome....In odd news I had no idea how exhausted I was until I was able to relinquish some of these things to another party...in fact my mind is still a bit mushy, hence the no blogging etc. I have unplugged a bit and noticed, I am tired...

I am trying to prepare myself for spring...still. Winter was horribly long, about 90 days of snow on the ground...ick. It was like groundhog day all winter long, cold blustery....find your hats, gloves, boots...brr, ick.

SR had to make his first ER visit the other night. Pollen count is high, wind is insane and blowing 40 mph for days...SR,a and my allergies flared up. His eyes super itchy, and well he got some small debris in his eye...I tried to irrigate it with some saline...could not get whatever it was out...so the ER did it. He charmed the staff, with his knowledge of biology, and saline solution, proper names for all medical equipment. All is well he has some gentimyicin gel...and is on the mend.

Cora is good....doing well in school. No injuries, did not like taking her bike out the first ride of the year. Loves having her grammie here...

I have a list to tend to...it gets longer everyday.

The sun

2010-03-29T22:41:00.002-05:00

Is shining snow is melted, and I finally have lillies sprouting long leaves out of the rocks, and mulch...thank goodness, the entire state almost went mad.

What has been keeping me away from my blog?

I am now a proud Auntie, of a little boy, he is sweet, and teeny. How I forget how teeny they are. I got to spend some time with my niece.

My Mother in law is now living here. It has cut chaos, seriously.

My job, busier than ever, business is BOOMING, grew 3,000 almost overnight. BUSY. Job security, and much more hours. I am working about 40 hours a week now. It works out ok, Gma can pick up and love on grandbabies....she missed them so.

My friend Guard Wife, now has a new addition to her family

So many babies born in the last few weeks...my heart grows.

Easter is upon us, going to attend Good Friday service, and Easter service, happy.

SpouseBuzz went well in Texas, even if I spent 22 hours in airports. I could have driven there. all of the spousebuzzers continue to amaze me.

DH and I are planning an trip to Las Vegas for our 19th wedding anniversary this year. People keep saying "19 years, and kids that are 8 and 6..that is odd?" We plan on laying as low as we can in Vegas...

DH doing the PS90 or whatever workout, me I should be doing something.....swimsuit season, well it is here....frankly it takes months for me to get used to the idea.

I have never been more glad to see winter go....

LISTS...

2010-03-14T18:48:00.002-05:00

Why is there always a list here? things to buy, things to do? the list seriously needs to be tackled NOW, otherwise I will be loosing sleep over it.

I need a follow up mammogram, YAY. (My Aunt Mother's side is a survivor)

I need a colonoscopy, nothing says fun like sitting on a toilet for days, and having a camera inserted in your anus. (My Mother died from colon cancer that metastitized pretty much everywhere) No choice in this one, because I am turning 40. Holy Crap, I am turning 40.....

Need to write a letter to our bank in Arkansas for the third time to get the title. This process gives me a headache...one letter, and the phonecall should have been enough.

Check on the red and white game tickets you bought your Dad. I bought 10 expecting to get them in the mail, but am having DH go to the UNL office this week to check.

Need to buy some glass jars to store food in, I am not storing anything in plastic any longer.

Need to organize the pantry.

Need to order some Hosta bulbs. I do not have enough here.

Also I am looking for a larger car, I downsized 2 years ago, and love the car, it is good on gas, but it is too small. Looking at the Nissan Murano. something to fit 5 comfortably...anyone?

Need to get some frames painted, and replace some glass in a frame....

and the list continues.

Headed to Fort Hood this week for SpouseBuzz, ready to see my friends, but also need some major decompression time....going to turn my hotel into a sensory deprivation tank...of sorts.

Had to take the kids to see Fred Wesley

2010-03-07T00:11:00.002-06:00

Took the kids to this tonight...

Very fun, SR even got out of seat and danced.

the windows are open, and I look like a voodoo princess

2010-03-06T14:07:00.002-06:00

with my dust wand and bottle of lysol dancing through the house madly...trying to rid this house of stale, germ filled air....

You will not win germs. I am not a pig, and I clean...this is a loosing battle germs.

What is that sound?

2010-03-05T23:37:00.002-06:00

It is SR coughing...the healthiest of the tribe this winter..is now sneezing and coughing....ick.

PN, not really BETTER...

so far my plan is to skip rock band practice in the morning, even with the concert coming...who knows.

I would love if they would veg, and stay quiet, but it is almost nearly impossible.

Projects for the weekend..clean up round here. We also have science fair projects to do.

My MIL is in route!

She will be spending part of her year here, and will go back to NC whenever. She is now retired, and has no real schedule! We are excited to have her come. She is a good friend of mine. It will be nice to have her around to shop with.......hang with. The kids are out of their minds excited!

Paying Drs. and I should be thankful to...

2010-03-02T23:19:00.002-06:00

OK...let me see, DH was sick, with a sinus thing that went to his chest....2 rounds antibiotics, steroids, an inhaler, and some sort of decongestant, and he is somewhat better.

PN, never fully recovered, from her sinus thing, it turned into right ear infection, and a URI.

SR..not sick...but had keratosis pilloris, and needed cream.

Me, better now, but we all know I spent half of winter sick with sinus and a bad tooth. the bad tooth btw, has cost me about $700 at this point. The crown alone was $350! That was more than our wedding cost....

As much as I hate paying Drs. I guess I should be thankful to have the choice of Doctors, and insurance, and money to pay them....

Do not worry about my families health, there is a trend up here...most families have spent the winter months with at least 1/2 of the family trying to kill some germ...we are not alone.

We ALL LOVE our GP. Seriously love him. He is the calmest Dr. EVER. SR wanted to give him a tip after our visit the other day because he was so impressed with him. He gives SR Latin lessons, and medical lessons when we go in.

I am tired of getting Squeezed in, and having to literally run in the school, out of the school, across town only to run through the parking lot...seriously for the birds.

In good news, we have the opportunity to go to Hawaii 2 times this year....so we are shuffling things around trying to figure it out.

The dog got fixed! I almost forgot! another Dr. bill!

OK....I am off...I need to go to bed before 1am one of these days!

Spring?

2010-02-28T20:58:00.002-06:00

I can see brown, straw looking grass, in spots in the backyard. Today was a balmy 34 degrees, with the sun out. 34 Degrees is not just 34 degrees. If it is 34 degrees, with no sun, and wind, it is a much different 34. We have been seeing sporadic appearances of robins. However no one is sure if the are spring robins, or all winter long robins. We do have winter robins here. I saw about 700 the other weekend at the dog park, amidst a snowstorm. they were clustered on a bush eating berries, and my dog wanted to eat them....I just let him point.

I am tired of the house being filled with stale air, a dirty car, a car that needs vacuumed.

So it would appear that winter is not forever, even if it feels, and looks like it. Spring will come.

Because I have brown grass to prove it.

Grocery store confusion...

2010-02-26T11:59:00.002-06:00

I started to loathe going to the grocery store when they started making orange flavored toothpaste, and the mega rolls of toilet paper...

Seriously I find it very confusing to go, and I feel terribly sorry for the 80 year olds hobbling along, reading the very small print labels on products, wandering what happened to Ivory soap, and Brawny paper towels.

You can buy 100 different kinds of orange juice, 100 kinds of toothpaste....and I love the free enterprise system I do. But seriously, it is getting ridiculous.

I am old enough to recall when aquafresh came out, and I remember thinking...."this new farcical toothpaste is going to be a flash in the pan." I was wrong, and now I am guessing they sell Aquafresh whitening, aquafresh tarter etc...

I am unsure why I hate making these choices. I think it makes people look like babies...Oh no I need antioxidants in my soda, none of that regular soda for me...it is just getting too weird. "You know what I am hungry for? I am really hungry for pomagranate, grape, apple flavored yogurt!" I also take a ton of time now, calculating toilet paper cost, etc. Double rolls, with lotion. I am also old enough to recall about 9 different kinds of salad dressing. Thousand Island, Ranch, French, Green Goddess, and Italian. What in God's name happenned? Now the salad dressing has an entire aisle. It is ridiculous.

I am guessing pretty soon they will have orange flavored, triple rolls, antioxidant, good for the envirement toilet paper...and everyone will have to have it.

I am also tired of store just getting HUGE. Seriously, we have all of these time saving devices, cell phones, computers, etc....and I swear I am using all of my extra time I have o facebook, and at the grocery store.

wish I was a torch singer

2010-02-24T21:18:00.006-06:00

The new Sade album was gifted to me for Valentines Day by DH who knows I adore her voice. I heart Sade, and this is the first album in 10 years. Frankly a little hard for me to believe, because I recall all of her albums.

So what do I think of Soldier of Love? I missed her.... First released track is this....

fun to sing and dance in the car to. But not typical Sade, however, I am sure this is supposed to be some sort of bridging song....

I noted some country influence, 60's R &B, jazz, hip hop. The country thing threw me off for a bit, but I cannot locate them on youtube @ this time, but will soon. The country inspired track is my favorite oddly enough.
However I missed the really "in love" lyrics, and smoothness of Diamond Life, released in 1985...(I am getting OLD.

Your love is king,
crown you in my heart.
Your love is king,
never need to part.
Your kisses ring,
round and round and round my head.
Touching the very part of me.
It's making my soul sing.
Tearing the very heart of me.
I'm crying out for more.

Seriously I love that.

The new album also made me miss in love, but broken hearted Sade from the album Promise, which I have to say this has to be the best song off that album...

It also made me miss forgiveness Sade from 1988 Stronger than Pride...

I miss the very sultry and crazy in love lyrics from Love Deluxe, probably my favorite Sade album, and was sad to note, there are no similar sounding songs, or lyrics on the new album. Love Deluxe? well I can hardly pick a favorite song...(If you do not own this...seriously buy it)

You're ruling the way that I move
And I breathe your air
You only can rescue me
This is my prayer

If you were mine
If you were mine
I wouldn't want to go to heaven

Which reminds me, to post 2 songs from Love Deluxe, because I was not a fan of the album Lover's Rock. Which is a shame...I wanted to.

But Love Deluxe...yes

So after listening to the soldier Of Love album, like 6 times, I am unsure what I think. So far I have 3 tracks I adore...and the others, I am unsure if they will grow on me. I mean it make be 10 years in between albums again....and that would make for a sad day

My legs are FROZEN....no really.

2010-02-21T15:37:00.004-06:00

Week in review.

Today I picked up SR from Sunday school, and he proclaimed he has accepted Jesus as his personal Savior. If that did not make my spirit and heart restful, and full of JOY. Like any Mother, I just stood there with tears in my eyes....that is a good, and profound day. What a wonderful decision, for him to to make and I hope it is the beginning of what is sure to be a profound relationship for him.

We have just returned from the dog park. Day 3 of going in the blistering COLD temps. It is below freezing, and there was wind. DH is at drill, so for the last 3 days I have taken all 3 mammals to the park. 3 mammals at the dog park is an adventure. There are strange dogs, and you never know when a dog that is not used to children will get curious. There is also open water, so I worried about The collective, mostly SR who really wanted to push his Sister into the creek on the sled. Too much to keep track of.

Winter has me fatigued, it really does, the keeping track of hats, boots, coats, snowsuits, mittens, making sure they are always dry and clean and ready for play....the bouncing, and jumping and excess energy that goes with being locked up, the lack of sun and fresh air....this is the worst winter in years....a sort of baptism by fire if you will.

PN had 2 birthday parties last weekend, one yesterday, and 2 next weekend? REALLY? What on Earth was going on 6 years and nine months ago? Did the cable go out? Must have, because it is ridiculous.

Band Practice is going well, 2 other children have joined.

SR had an insane amount of homework this week. Seriously. 4 book reports, spelling, a Spanish quiz, and math homework, and some sort of alphabetical order worksheet. That seems like a lot for a second grader. He had to skip church on Wednesday in order to get it complete.

SR also got charactor student of the week in art, which I am confused about as he and the art teacher do not see eye to eye. I am unsure if she threw him a bone, or if he earned it. It didi make him feel good about himself to be recognized.

There is enough laundry for me to hire it, especially since beds need to be made. The collective want meatloaf, salad, and sweet potatoes tonight. So I am off to prepare the meal.

In good news Sarah's DH is home, and baby is in utero.

GuardWife will soon be getting an addition to her family by way of Ethiopia.

TAH, and USO girl are engaged.

My friend and blog Mom Tammi has worked HARD this year, and her hard work was recognized!

So many blessings.....your prayers are working folks

To the bone cold...

2010-02-16T22:54:00.003-06:00

No joke, my bones feel bitter cold, it is currently 18 degrees, and dark out..it is night. I had to run to Walmart, because I was out of tissues, mascara, foundation, fruit, etc....I was very cold loading those groceries into the car....

I am one of those people that once I get cold, I do not seem to recover from it. Perhaps because I am sitting on my butter...and not doing laundry, or running around here cleaning.

I broke down and turned on the fireplace, and I will head to a bubble bath here soon!

Let me see, we are busy here. Nothing crazy this week steady. Which is fine, no unexpected bumps.

The fridge needs to be cleaned out. (while I am thinking of it)

We finally broke down and drove to Omaha yesterday and went to Nebraska Furniture Mart. We have been many, many times. Usually it is sooo crowded it is impossible to shop. What I like about Nebraska Furniture Mart, the prices cannot be beat. What I do not like, the size and set up. They have a normal storeroom, you know the little living areas etc... However lets say you do not like the coffee table that is with your set, you have to go to the coffee table section, and then wonder what it will look like. I have said this before I am not a decorator. I know nothing of color or balance, etc. all I know is what I like. I finally think I have thrown something together, which will be sort of snazzy, with actually grown up nice furniture. I had a lot of furniture picked out....went to pay, and the darn salesman could not get his poop in a group. We walked out. Long story short, the salesman did not listen to me say "we are limited on time, I need SKUs, prices, this fabric for this chair...etc....make it so PLEASE while we go find a bedroom set, we will be right back up with those SKUs". I came back up to find him empty handed. HOLY MOSES. Seriously? I tried to walk him through again, and let him catch up with us, he still had no sales slip. HE had a scratch paper, no prices....I said, we have cash, we want to pay, we want a discount for paying today too please." He kept going on about coordinating delivery times, etc...We finally told him, "write it up, we will be in later this week, we will pay for it today, but if we do not leave we will be late. (SR had his BoyScout blue and Gold banquet) seriously we do not have time for this part, we can do this later this week." 10 times he asked for delivery coordination. Ughhh finally said....."Now you are pissing me off"....We walked out with no furniture. I called and spoke with a manger today, they are going to make it right, and DH will go in this week, to walk someone through our items again..Ughh. Let me say, I am cheap, I do not like spending money, I hate to. I really dislike permanent purchases like furniture, and home decor too. Because really once you make the decision, it is done for a long time. I do not replace it frequently etc...

So when I offer to hand you over money...take it

Seasons...

2010-02-10T23:39:00.002-06:00

As much as I go on and on about how busy I am...I am enjoying everything around me.

I am enjoying this Season of my families life. (even with the complications, the sort of effort we put into things is sure to teach us something) I would much rather be busy than sitting and watching everything around me. You only get one ride ...right? Let's make it worthwhile.

I do wish there were more hours in the day.

The boys stayed home tonight and did homework, and played Mario Kart. PN and I went to church.

For a brief moment I am at peace tonight. I have decided EVERYTHING will not be done EVER...regardless of how anxious it makes me. There will ALWAYS be an undone project, or task, or several....worrying about it does not help...action does.

I will also say we were late to school this morning by a couple of minutes. My bad, I apologized to the kids, and told them I would take full responsibility for it...culprit? Faulty curling iron...
Vanity took precedence over being on time. Not good, but it is what it is. Let me note I am the fastest getter ready I know. But I have horrid naturally curly locks, that are in dire need of a trim....and I looked like Medusa.

The kids are finally understanding the value of a good nights sleep. YAY It only took 6-8 respective years, but they notice the difference in how they feel with a full nights rest. Tonight they were in bed by 8:25pm. Not bad considering PN and I got home @ 8:00pm. so they will get 10 hours sleep.

I do regret one thing, the time with Husband, alone...unsure where we can fit this in our schedule. MIL is on her way and soon I would love to have a date night 1 night every 2 weeks.

Tonight, I am good, I am golden...all is well

I promise, only 30-45 minutes longer...

2010-02-09T23:53:00.003-06:00

Who know Valentine week would be such a BUST week?

I didn't, otherwise I wouldn't have is scheduled like I do.

I just finished making 30, unfrosted cupcakes for church. In good news, they are letting the kids frost them for an activity of some sort. YAY, no frosting. Now I hope I remeber to take them to church.

I also managed to sort of clean the kitchen area up...

And now I am back to mount Laundry. Criminey...the laundry never ends.

Tonight we had PN's parent teacher conference. It was wonderful. She is a hard worker, and a good student. YAY! I am never sure "where" she is, because of SR. Is she reading as much as her peers, is she writing correctly, etc. I found out, she is the second best reader in the class, I will take that, and continue to work with her. She lacks confidence. She ocassionally will write letters and numbers backward, I guess this is normal, and not a huge deal. She LISTENS, and follows rules. AAAAHHHH....

Tomorrow, women's Bible Study! I am GOING, I need it this week...I feel discombobulated for no reason. That is a feeling I do not get often, and usaully being uber busy helps...not this week.

DH is ill with a sinus infection, is on a z-pak, PN has a cold, and SR has a partial cold...

The dog is castrated Friday...Shhhhh....don't tell him. He is also going to stay at the Vet's office for 3 days, because DH is going ice fishing with 2 very good friends he has not been able to spend time with in ages. I do not want to sit here, and try and keep him calm etc...

Off to do 2 loads of laundry....then to bed...

you do realize it is 11:26 pm

2010-02-07T23:26:00.002-06:00

I am sitting here with a towel on my head letting my hair color cook, and boiling 8 eggs for breakfast, and it is 11:23pm.

Frankly I should be doing my Wii Fit Plus, because the cold, and the winter, and my love of comfort foods has caught up with me.

I just need to move. So I will work on scheduling this in. tomorrow night will be easy. Everyone in the house but me will go to Boy Scouts. I can do it then. And now I have to figure out where to schedule it in to every day.

My brain misses my Yoga. My body misses my pilates.

WE have just been seriously busy, and well work. I work about 3o hours a week, not quite full time, but frankly if you add drop off, and pick up times for the kids, I am gone 40 hours.

In good news DH has become the grocery store guy. He does my grocery runs most of the time these days. Praise Jesus.

There is no balance here @ this time. The Holidays threw it off, and I have not recovered, my own problem I suppose. I was ill with the darn tooth, and sinus crap for what seemed like forever. I really did not feel good for a long time.

I need to figure this out, and will in the next 2 weeks.

This week I have Valentines Parties at school, a parent teacher conference, church snacks, women's Bible Study, and uhhhhh I am not sure what else. I need to look at brain book tomorrow and figure it out. February is a busy month.....who knew.

I will figure this out, I am feeling better and it is managable

Just you shut your mouth.....(China Girl~ David Bowie)

2010-02-03T23:49:00.003-06:00

Psychologist visit was confusing, but ok. I think the Dr. is on the same page, and he will come with us to school, and help advocate for a different academic program, and try to help the teachers with the behaviors. I do not think he HAS to do this, but he agreed. He sees the school year as we do, a FAIL.

The discrepancies in paperwork are the problem right now. On the paperwork the school filled out, well you would think we had an out of control situation. However, when I take in the communication with the school, including report cards, and mentor reviews his behaviors meet school standards...go figure.

Confused much?

There will also be no pigeon holing at this time. There is alwasy time for pigeon holing.

Needless to say, the entire debacle has my head spinning. I am angry, and exhausted.

We have parent teacher conferences tomorrow for one child, and that should prove to be interesting.

I will say this, I had a hard time keeping my mouth shut through the entire process, and the psychologist probably would like to diagnose me with unable to shut the mouth disease. I could NOT help myself though. Seriously. He would go through the paperwork, and I would have something to say. Imagine that. I think DH would have liked to hog tie me. However I have 8 years of info in my head about this kid and one hour to communicate what I THE MOTHER sees.

Do not mess with a Mother's family, seriously. If you wanna see someone loose it, mess with the family, and watch a Mother......

WE get to go back in 4 or so weeks and MEET with someone else.....yee haw, good times.

Let me see, what else do I have to talk about.

My left eye is still twitching, only the left eye, and it is WILD. Nice, it is a good look.

Report cards came home today. SR is almost done with his 4th grade math book. Missed only 3 problems in the last three units. He LOVES math.

PN, did well too, she is a superior student and avoids any and all conflict at school.

Tonight I had women's Bible study, and let me tell you what a huge blessing it was to go, it helped me refocus. I enjoyed it tremendously. I love learning new things about the Bible, and the more I learn the more I realize how much I have left to learn.

So all is well for now, the Dr. seemed to support our thoughts about SR, and wants to help us advocate for him at the school, and will be present at a meeting we will be having in the near future....

Pass the duct tape, for Mom's mouth....

I do not think it is Asperger's....

2010-02-01T23:18:00.002-06:00

Tomorrow is visit 3 with the Psychologist. First visit, the Dr. met with Dad and I, second visit the Dr. met with SR. WE have filled out all sorts of paperwork test fill in the dot thingys, one of those was for ADHD, one for Giliam Asperger's syndrome. We were not the only people to fill these out, school filled them out as well. (I am unhappy about that). Tomorrow is visit number 3, which I am guessing is diagnosis day. I am pretty sure I know what this Dr. will say, and I am prepared to go to a different Dr. if that is the case. 3 years ago, I would have said possibly Asperger's. Now, not so much. He does not fit the Asperger's criteria as we see it. He also does not have PPD. although these are the 2 most HOT, and common misdiagnosis for children like SR. Why a diagnosis is neccesary I have no freaking clue. I originally went to the pyschologist to help us figure out how to help us, SR, and the teachers with the "overexcitabilities, and asynchratic issues".

Frankly, I have been reading and consuming information like an insane person, printing things off for the Dr. (which I am sure he will love BTW). However all information is pointing to Highly gifted, with normal problems, and behaviors that come with that. Mostly reading about how socially asynchronous behaviors are NORMAL for these kiddos. For the past month, SR has been fine in classes. No visits to the office, no behaviors....appears all is ok. I have begged him to to his teachers when he feels "OVER sensitive" (These are periods that normally come after 1pm, in which if he tries to concentrate on anything, he can hear EVERY sound, feel every seam, smell every dorito eaten at lunch, he hates the smell of doritos) I am not sure what to attribute to this. I did buy SR some books on controlling his frustration, a survival guide for gifted kids, and a book on perfectionism. He told me the frustration book, really didn't help him, because he is not frustrated, he is oversensitive. All books included some coping mechanisms, for him to deal with his day. I keep reading these kids HEAR louder, feel deeply, and are hyper emotional. Just google High Ability Learner, and boom look at the emotional stuff and whammo, I have a textbook case. Also for those people who think I am trying to make excuses, I am not. I am just trying to teach him how to deal with the feelings. He knows what they are, and can feel them coming. I have asked him to tell his teacher. Normally he needs to clear his head for about 10 minutes, by reading something, or working on a puzzle problem, and then he can return. He is embarrassed that he is so sensory enhanced, and emotional.

The problem, an IQ of 160 is pretty rare, 1, in 30,000. So who knows what "normal" is for these kiddos.

The social stuff. Currently we have SR in the rock band, hoping this will help him deal with others, learning an instrument, working as a team. As you can imagine this is a double edged sword. The last lesson, all 3 girls (including mine) were wound, and were not cocentrating, and were jazzy. They were not concentrating, and the music was no longer music, it was noise. This posed a problem for SR, because he was there to play his intrument. The noise became an issue. (speaking of which I need to find him headphones this week. ) He collected himself enough to play. I will say this, he was right, the girls were annoying, and the sounds they were making were awful.

This past weekend, I let the kids invite a friend out to lunch, and they got to pick an activity. They picked ice skating. I have been talking to SR about how to generate conversations with others. He has trouble finding common ground with his peers. He thinks his peers interests are farcicle, things like Transformers, Star Wars, collections of toys that are not useful make no sense to him. This is a problem, because most kids his age have "a thing". SR's thing is science and math. This makes it difficult for him to relate to boys his age. So I got to spend the day watching SR interact with a friend from school. It went ok, until SR wanted to talk about squaring numbers, and negative numbers, microphages, and t-cells. They did talk aout videogames, and that seemed to go ok.

Wish us luck at the Dr. tomorrow, my gut is not good on this, I do not think we are with the right Doc. I need someone who has seen this before, and this Dr. seems pretty green with this stuff....

student of the week

2010-02-01T22:51:00.002-06:00

PN was made student of the week by her art teacher today. She has been waiting ALL YEAR for this, and did not understand why she did not get it months ago. She listens, follows directions...everyday. MY guess is all students eventually get it, but why it took so long, I have no idea. However PN was thrilled, and proud.

Let me note this is the same teacher that engages my 2nd grade son in arguments, and frankly I think she would rather not have my son in her class. A personality conflict, I think that is what they call this. I am guessing SR will not get student of the week in her class. About 3 months ago this teacher sent me a huge e-mail, about a bad day SR had in her art class. He had put his hand in front of the projector she sat him by. (my first thought was ...uh yeah, not a surprise) He was not the only boy who put his hand in front. There were 4 of them. The art class was a wash from there, and they got into an argument, she walked him to the principal's office as he proclaimed "have mercy on me" the entire walk there. I think if things escalated to the point of her needing to take him to the office, she just should have not spoken to him, and taken him. SR is like a small lawyer. I am sure he felt as though the others that did the same penalty, and this made him most upset, and hence the arguing. (And note I do not argue with him, no negotiating...I also do not encourage him to argue with others ESPECIALLY those in positions of authority...) Anywho, they bump heads. It also does not help that is is not a fan of art. He would rather be in math class. I will say I am surprised at how she handles him, and it is never pretty. He does not like art without purpose. He likes schematics, maps etc...but drawing a house, and a kitty does not interest him. Nor does coloring. Her method of dealing with him, well it is lacking, and it will be a long 5 years for him in Art with her as a teacher. It is a personality conflict.

So I have the child that draws all day in detail LOVES art, and if you tell her to draw a house she will draw every shingle, and I have a son who thinks drawing a house is stupid...

A song for Sunday

2010-01-31T00:29:00.001-06:00

One of PN's favorite songs to sing...

Why would I want to do that?

2010-01-30T23:05:00.004-06:00

PN, and the boy she wants to marry someday....

My daughter is a peach about remembering EVERYTHING. She always remembers her backpack, early releases from school, birthdays, EVERYTHING. She even reminds me about my things. She is a good egg. Tonight she remembered her eye drops and her medicine, and I said to her, "you know what? You would make a good nurse". I said that for various reasons, she is a good judge of people, is easy to get along with, has a ton of empathy, she likes taking care of others.

She replied "no thanks, that does not sound fun at all".

I had to laugh, because really she is right, it is not a "fun" job.

I wonder what she will do with her incredible people skills?

Right now her goal is to be a Mommy, to only one child. She used to want 12, but she has changed her mind. She has her husband picked out, and wants to have one baby and open a Chinese restaurant.

I do not speak of PN much on the blog, probably because she is my easy child. She helps me clean, and cook. She is very detail oriented, unlike me. If I wrap a gift, I throw some paper on it done, she is careful, and wants matching ribbons, and a card with a similar shade of envelope. She will pack her purse the night before we go places. She takes the time to make her friends gifts, and presents, and books. On Sunday mornings she packs her bible, and put on her cross pin she made. She knows all of her classmates first and last names, some parents names and where parents work, who has pets, who likes the color purple, who likes Star Wars. She has an incredible memory for these details.

The child has already written 50 books, she loves drawing, and coloring, and cutting and pasting. She has made herself 3 calendars so she can keep track of the month, and dates. She would not want to forget anything. When I was 6, I do not think I understood the calander yet. She does.

She will make a wonderful Mommy, and woman.

She is also my worrier. She worries about others.

Her parent teacher conference is this week, and I will hear nothing to cause me worry. At the last conference, the teacher could not think of anything to tell us. She said PN is the PERFECT student, and will do well in school.

Tonight she helped me make dinner, and was in charge of the ambrosia salad. It was tasty, and a good salad to have on hand. I might suggest you have your little people make it for dinner. They do love to help.

2 large cans mandarin oranges
2 large cans pinapple chunks
2 cups mini marshmallows
1 cup sour cream
(drain all fruit except for one can oranges)
1 cup cocunut

Stir well chill for 2 hours and serve

I adore this child of mine, and she is such a thoughtful, thoughtful little girl.

Random

2010-01-28T23:28:00.002-06:00

I missed work yesterday. Surprise.

PN had cold signs and symptoms for 2 days, I picked her up from school Wednesday, and her left eye was mucky. We came home I washed it out with baby shampoo, put some artificial tears in, made her warm pack it. Went in her room at about midnight, and it was crusted shut. I cleaned it up again, and let her sleep. Woke in the morning, to find her eye all prize fighter puffy, warm packed it, cleaned it out again. She still had cold signs and symptoms. I knew if I took her to school, I would get a call. So I called the boss lady, got us ready for the day, just in case we could go, and drove her to the Dr. without an appointment.

Let me mention I adore our family Dr. He is a gem, and CALM. CALM. I love that about him.

Seems that she had a sinus infection that backed up. Gross. She is now on eye gtts QID. And an oral antibiotic. Poor little thing. She looked so tough. However, she really did not complain.

Let me note here the kids have NEVER had an eye infection. NEVER.

PN gets to have jammie day tomorrow @ school, gets to take a stuffed animal, and have pancakes. She is excited.

SR, had a good week, annoyed a substitute teacher by saying the word substitute over and over, but it is what it is....other than that he is good. He has actually had a VERY good couple of weeks.

We all skipped church Wednesday night, I was wiped, PN was ill, so we took the night off. Let me tell you this, I missed it SOOO much, and will not be skipping again.

I must share something though. The other morning, while at the Dr. I was complaining in my head. "the Dr? really? Missing work again, could these kids wash their hands better, here goes $ on a co-pay, and a day missed wages...wah wah wah whining. "

On the way out of the Dr. I saw a Father unloading a tenny wheelchair, in the snow, with wind blowing...and trying to get the wheelchair unpacked, and get the little boy in the wheelchair....

I was so ashamed of myself, I cannot tell you. I was ashamed. I tried to put myself in that gentlemans shoes for 2 minutes....

That Father would give anything, for an eye infection.

Perspective.

my calendar

2010-01-26T22:23:00.002-06:00

Is full these days. there are few spots blank it seems, my own doing. While it feels good to be busy, it is something for sure.

I have not missed any appointments, I always call ahead to make sure to make sure I have the right dates. So far I have only made a couple of errors. thought things were earlier.

The winter season is taking its toll, the lack of fresh air, etc....

When I was little I used to think my Mother was nuts when she would open up windows on a cold day and air the place out....but as a Mother I get this. I did that today. Despite it being COLD, I opened the house, made the kids get a blanket, and TRIED to air out the house, until I could not bear the cold temps any longer.

I have my woman's Bible study class tomorrow, which is good. I am enjoying it, and meeting new people. The kids will have CREW. I volunteered to make snacks and did so tonight. Popcorn balls. It was messy but simple.

PN is down with a cold, a bad one...she is not fun when sick. I am pretty sure she ran herself down over the past couple of weeks. She was having a terrible time getting to sleep. I am going to guess she was over tired, but who knows. She has a lot going on in her head....She managed to go right to sleep last night and tonight.

I bought SR a couple of books this past week, one on managing frustration, and one on perfectionism. He is reading them, and I am hoping it helps. He gets frustrated quickly, angry....and well despite conversation after conversation about it, little improvement. So I went ahead and did what I do with everything else, I bought him the books. He is trying the new techniques, and is letting me know, which he thinks are plain silly, and which are ineffective.

The "school thing", that is what I will call it. Hind sight is 20-20. Right now I am angry. I will also say this, it is a good thing, SR reads, and reads, and learns on his own....because I promise you if he would have been a child that would have really needed academic help this year, he would have been left behind. This year would have been the year that was a waste. I am still angry, because it was a waste of his time. No one values your time when you are 8, and they think what is important to every other 8 year old should be important to you too.

I have read the articles on children in college, and I have heard the criticism, and comments. "That kid should be in soccer, or playing!" What if the kid does not like soccer? What if the child LOVES learning. Because guess what, there are people that LOVE learning. If you asked my son if he would rather do a math worksheet, or play soccer, the math would win. There are people who LOVE science and math, and thank God for those people.

So I am angry today, as I try and get my little head on, and my best advocate pants.....and meanwhile, I read up on state laws, and programs, and try and find my child scholarships for extracurricular learning activities.

He is not going to wait for us people, we need to hurry.

Where is the Sun?

2010-01-24T00:36:00.002-06:00

For 8 days, we have not really seen the sun. 6 of those days, were frozen fog. Pretty for a photo or two for a postcard, but enough already. Winter has been so COLD, and feels so long to me @ this point that I wore a sweatshirt out for errands in 38 degrees. I looked around and noted all the adults around me, had the same idea. Some with short sleeves on running around. A balmy 38 degrees...

It has been a bizarre winter. COLD. VERY cold. As long as there is no wind, I can hang in the cold. However it is Nebraska, so the days without wind are far and few between.

What has gotten me through winter? The idea that someone did this 200 years ago, with no TV, no neighbors, no videogames, no TV, no internet, no indoor plumbing, no school, no car, , no wash machine, no indoor plumbing, no wash machine, no oven.....

It is a wonder they all did not kill one another....

How do you like it, now that you are back "home"?

2010-01-23T22:05:00.002-06:00

I am most comfortable here, I know what to expect, some folks are friendly, others not so much. The weather, well we have dosed heavily, but i must say I love the seasons, even if it means I have one week to prepare for gardening, and have to spend 12 hours a day doing such, same with fall. My family is near, which has been good, I have been able to spend some time with each of them.

Things that have caught me off guard, or I forgot, or that got worse.

1)The potholes this winter, are the most ridiculous I have ever seen, the city is now strewn with hubcaps, people are unhappy after replacing tires after tires. I do not recall it EVER being this bad.

2)The lack of really fantastic restaurants. I can come up with about 5 very decent privately owned restaurants in town. There are some ok chains in town, but they are not always my preference. To my knowledge there is not one decent place to get seafood in town. We do not go out to eat often, because I am a frugal person, and a fair cook. Most of what I have been served while out, have disappointed me. There are some gems in town though. There is a very good Vietnamese place in town, that is not upscale, but the food is quite good. There is a Thai place, that gets a lot of BUZZ, but every single time we load up the car and make the drive, there is no parking, or they are closed. What manages to suprise me? The amount of CRAPPY food being served in town, and PEOPLE loving it enough to keep these places open.

3)Lincoln is a booming town, yet I see signs all over town of distress, buildings being torn down, roads not being taken care of, private businesses not doing well. This week a long time private clothing store, and a book store have both closed doors. so much for Mom and Pop. It is just enough to make me a bit nervous about the local economy.

I should not be so pedestrian about evaluating the city, I am not out much, nor do we spend a lot of time, out and about, but this is what I see.

Other than that, so far so good. I do like it here, and cannot wait for Spring and Summer. I do like that the city is family friendly. There are a lot of parks, and trails for walking and biking, the PARKS! There are plenty of community events, in fact there are so many I find myself checking them often. The grocery stores are CLEAN. Something I missed.

So far so good.....

Have you had a year that changed your life?

2010-01-20T22:09:00.002-06:00

Beth Moore posed this question at the start of last weeks Bible study.

I really want to know what year, or years in your life changed you?

You could post it in a comment, or blog about it at your site, but i want to read about it, so let me know.

Thanks AWTM

another root canal...

2010-01-19T23:31:00.002-06:00

OK, so I know my root canal is sooo darn exciting to read about.

I had to have the temp filling removed tonight, and everything re drilled, including the weird curved extra roots. Essentially it was another root canal.

The last 2 days have been better, much better, I am finally feeling my old self...well until today.

Let me also mention, my Trigeminal nerve was effected by the dental procedure, the infection, and the sinus infection. During the last hour of the root canal, I had spasms of the muscles around my mouth, and jaw. Fun times. Crap.

So now I am on muscle relaxers, which Dr. prescribed to rest the jaw the other week. This Dentist today put me on steroids, as anti inflamatory. I am hoping this helps...seriously. I am going to take my narcs tonight and try to get a good nights rest.

Who knows what is going on. The jaw is sore tonight, of course. The root canal with my odd roots, took an abnormal amount of time. 2 hours. I guess that is what happens, when you have extra long curved caveman roots.

So I am hoping to see an improvement soon.

I would like to feel my normal energy filled self. Soon, and mind over matter.

When I practiced nursing I cared for a lot of chronically ill people, alot of whom sufferred with depression, from being in pain. I understand this now, even after this small little problem. AS with all things, it could be worse. Having low energy, and pain means your daily lists, well your expectation is so high, and boom if your body is not cooperating you just cannot keep up. If you are in pain, your day is not good, if you take the meds, poof you cannot keep your pace up. It is a catch 22. I have see it play out hundreds of times. You can be in pain and tired, or on meds and tired, pick one.

When my Mother was fighting cancer, she worked through the first year. She would work an 8 hour day, and then go to radiation, and chemo, and poof she was done. She could hardly feed herself, or enjoy the rest of her day...I recall a conversation we had over the phone one day, a conversation which I begged her to quit working. She didn't want to quit, she liked her job, she loved her friends, she was not done being in the game yet....I convinced her to quit. I told her, her energy could be spent trying to rest, enjoy the 8 hours of energy she had.... cancer, chemo, and radiation take a lot out of people.

Pain is not good.

So far so good, and I get a month off before they put a crown on.

I am showing up in a darn crown for this thing, and this root canal better be the best root canal EVER. I have never spent so much time, or money on a singular tooth in my life. also not a surprise the national Guard Dental benifits bite. Seriously. Most dental insurance bites it anyway...but WOW.

OK I am off to LA LA land, and have to work in the morning, the kiddos are back in school, and it will be rock and roll time. On a side note I hope SR GI bug stays out of the house. It is going through town like wildfire.

wipeout

2010-01-19T12:04:00.000-06:00

TAG, your it...

2010-01-18T23:41:00.003-06:00

I had to work today. I got home, and DH had to leave. TAG!

Tomorrow the school decided they needed a "work day", or something, even though we just had 6 snow days...so I am home, and will miss the day and TAG I am it.

I also get my root canal finished tomorrow! They should be able to clean out the center of the extra curved root etc. Will be taking the kids, along with a movie, and am hoping the office is ok with that.

I enjoyed these photos today from DH' and The Collective going sledding day! Believe it or not, the snow is melting rapidly, which is amazing, but the 34 degree temps feel balmy after a week or so well below zero. We have also had freezing fog for 2 days straight, almost all day. During the day, the temps are high enough it is not a problem. However, this morning when I left for work, holy Moses, it was slick!

DH had fun with the kids, he had to work most of the weekend, so he missed out on a lot of fun!

A bright spot in the week, second band practice

2010-01-17T11:10:00.002-06:00

First practice of the day

Last Practice of the day, kids were pooped

Kids learning lyrics

7 missed days from work in 2 1/2 weeks

2010-01-15T22:49:00.003-06:00

6 of those were snow days, days where school was canceled. I cannot leave the children alone.

Today it was a nasty stomach GI bug, and poor SR. He was actually upset about missing school, as he had a lot of homework to hand in today, and today was the last day of the semester. Let me say this, SR is the best of patients, he is calm, and sleepy. Unlike PN, who acts like a cat in a paper bag. So we had a fairly quiet day until about noon.

The puppy, wanted to play, we were not in the mood. BTW, the puppy is about 35 pounds now. Uh yeah, big puppy. He actually is behaving fairly nicely, especially when he is excercised adequately. WE are lucky to have a dog park near the home, the dog can run, and play and wrestle with other dogs, he loves it. He will also be getting neutered soon. I think DH would prefer to breed him, etc. I however would rather have a CALM pup. He is smart, and can now shake, roll over, sit, lie down, ring the bell to pee, and is learning commands with a whistle. He is tolerating temperatures above 20 degrees pretty well, he enjoys his bath and pulls no shenanigans during it. In bad news, it seems as though i am always retreiving something from him, a toy of the collectives, a hanger, underpants, socks, shoes, something. He is also the snoopiest dog ever, anand has a hounds nose he sniffs and snorts and seeks any dropped morsel of food. His favorite place to look for food is under PN's chair. Do I adore him yet? When he is being good, I love him, when he is wild not so much, he can run around the house like a horse, which is comical, but he could potentially knock a person down. He is strong. For those of you on facebook, we have vidoe of him pulling PN on the sled. He is strong. I read these dogs are used for skijoring, and sledding in Europe. So hoping next winter to get a harness for him. I will take some photos tomorrow, because you will not believe the size of him. HUGE.

I have a plan with the school, I do not want to rehash any of it at this time, I am at peace at the moment.

The root canal, sinus, whatever the freak it is...seems to be a bit better...However, since the root canal when I yawn, cough, chew, my jaw is hurting like mad, my left eye twitching is insane. My Dr. thinks I am having spasms, not TMJ, but similar since the procedure. He gave me some muscle relaxers. which help, when I can take them. I do not like to take them during the day, which is frankly when I should take them but some days they make me more exhausted than others...it is what it is. My job also requires I TALK ALL DAY, which normally would be ok, but I am finding it is fatiguing to my jaw...

After missing so many days in such a short amount of time, I am sure my head is on some sort of chopping block. Ughhh.....I better work my tuchus off when I return, and bring donuts for the love of Pete.

Also our school system has 2 days off next week for Martin Luther King Day. 2 days...DH is covering one of those days here, and I am having to cover the other..so count them 8 days missed in 3 1/2 weeks. Nice.

the temps are finally above 10 degrees. Praise the Lord.

Tomorrow I get to go watch the kids @band pratice. I am taking the camera. So far the kids are loving it. In fact SR is star student of the week next week, and he wrote "I play electric guitar in a rock band."

All is ok, my Father's girlfriend has been diagnosed with Grave's disease. I promised i would get her some information ASAP. Must get it done by Sunday.

Be good, enjoy your soft beds, warm homes, full tummies, and family.....

It is the part of Winter, where I feel as though I will never ever see Spring again...

2010-01-12T22:29:00.002-06:00

DH claims this is normal. I am starting to understand the alcoholism, and despair in Iceland.

The seed catalogs have started coming in. I call this Spring pRon.

The dog does not have a lot of fur, good for not shedding, however, he produces oils at an exponential rate. these oils smell bad...he needs a bath every week if he is gonna live here. I am doubting this is good for the dog, but whatever, it is what it is.

The kids are fine, excited about their band. SR has his pine box car derby this Saturday, will miss band practice, and has a birthday party to attend. Laser tag. PN will have band practice, and she also has a birthday party to attend the same day. DH has drill. We also start back at CREW this week. I have found a woman's study to go to at our church, and although I could take the quiet, and be at home puttering about....I am going to go, because I do love Beth Moore, and I could use the spiritual strength to get me through the upcoming year with SR. It is exhausting enough, but now with the meetings with this person and that...well it worsens.

We have had a ton of paperwork given to us, to give to the school. It is sooo hard for me to read some of what is written. Things like, he lacks creativity, empathy, etc...this is something we do not see. SR fascinated with his new biology book, and is learning about cancer, and HIV, and other illnesses, allergic reactions. He speaks of curing AIDS, and cancer.....he wonders why no one has taken the time to do so. They are having a "twin day" @ school this week he told me he did not want to participate, because if there are 3 friends, and 2 decide to be twins, someone will feel left out. Oye....I am trying to maintain grace and composure here, during all of this. Of course I think he is a super kiddo, I am his Mom. I know I will get no where wild eyed, and screaming. I must maintain a grace I have never seen, and do not know. I am a scrapper by nature and example. Scrapper is not good. Once I had these children, I stopped being scrappy. I try to go with the flow, and smile and nod, and I have even cleaned up my language. The next meeting with the school, I will take Panera coffe, and rolls.

BIL should be coming home from Iraq soon. We are blessed in this family to have had soooo many deployments, and our men continue to come home safe. So BIL, be safe, we love and miss you. SR cannot wait for you to come here, and help him build, and take computers apart, and build!

My MIL is now retired. For those of you who do not know I am one of the lucky folks that has a wonderful MIL, we get along, despite her having to listen to me. I admire her. She is now retired, and I think we have convinced her to come and live here for part of the year. I hope she does ok, and does not feel put out. We could use her help with the kids over the summer. However all of us are thinking the arrangement should be a good one for all involved. We have shared a home before, and all went well, infact there are sooo many good memories, of just her and I. WE enjoy the same things, movies, books, Nebraska history. I also think she can offer a soft emotional pillow for the kids. Grandmas are like that. And my children, have one Grandma, and a hard nosed Grandpa. Time is fleeting, and we have missed her very much. I also think she will love being here, and spending time with her son, as they have not been able to see much of each other. I hope it goes well pray for us all....

Let me see, work is good BUSY. They day goes by sooooo quickly it is amazing.

I still do not have thank you's done, nor all of my Christmas cards...I am giving myself until the end of the month...

I am exhausted....night all

Nobody seemed to know me, everybody passed me by

2010-01-09T11:50:00.003-06:00

Sent the children today to their first Academy of Rock lesson. Dad is with.

Band name picked out, first song picked. The band contains 4 children. My son and daughter included...I got to listen on speaker phone, not to shabby!

PN on drums, SR on guitar....

The song will we Crossroads by Cream, which I find oddly appropriate at this juncture in SR's life.

God knows we have been on our knees doing some praying, and yes we are at a Crossroad...

Not much to say, sorta grumpy...

2010-01-06T23:08:00.003-06:00

Have I mentioned how competitive SR is? He is, last night we went bowling, and I brought my game. Here he is trying to be goofy and choke me out!

This is SR deciding he would love me, even if I was the most AWESOME bowler EVER....

2nd trip to the psychologist, they trashed the ADHD, and put us in the Asperger's bucket..

And I the Mom, the one that should be capable of fixing everything, and picking him up and dusting him off...sadly feels like a failure.

And even though we, or HE has made GREAT strides, no one will ever know...unless you journeyed with us.

He can swim, ride a bike, sit through noise, sit in a theater unbothered by how FREAKING loud it can be....his IQ 160. He knows sadness, sarcasm, joy...even from others. He shows empathy, kindness, and tenderness, which are not typical with children with this diagnosis...

so now I am stuck...do I continue to do this through bureaucracy, or do we continue to work on this as a family team...

The problem being, any school will not make exceptions for much without a damn piece of paper. 2 mentors are not enough, this kids brain is the hungriest I have ever seen...he is bright, and curious...

Please no comments, on how your child's diagnosis has been such a great thing for them, and how great an IEP is...your child is your child. How an IQ of 160 means nothing, and IQ indicates nothing. I am not in the mood to hear how I need this IEP to figure out how my child learns etc...learning is not the problem in my home...if he wants the information, he consumes it, if he need guidance we are there. He teaches himself at his own rate, along with what we teach him, and school teaches him...Our problem lies in other places right now...

As a Mother a part of me, wants to pack up, move him off grid...and home school, and let him be, the other part of me, thinks I should cooperate with the system, and see what happens. His ability to do great things...is HUGE. I understand this. I do not want to FAIL him. My biggest fear in this life is failing my children.

Also this post could very well be removed very soon...because at this juncture, I am tired of everyone with normal children thinking they could "fix him, if I had him for 2 weeks" , I am tired of everyone telling me how their child is doing with a similar diagnosis...your child is not my child...

Time flies

2010-01-03T22:02:00.002-06:00

When you are busy, and having fun....

The last year has flown by.

ArmyWifeToddlerMom, has a 6 and 8 year old now.

Who knew, that a hobby, would overflow into friendships with amazing people, and that I could actually maintain a habit of writing for an extended amount of time.

I go to the restroom at lunch break now, and see more wrinkles, and puffiness, and realize that sleep is more important this decade of my life.

My Father had photos of DH and I out this last trip to see him, we were 20 and 21. I looked amazing, and thin, tan, and overanimated. I sat there sad as I looked at them. DH said..you do realize the kids are closer to our ages there, than we are now...Uhhhh no I did not, but now I do.

Wow.

I am blessed with more than I wanted, and promise to maintain a level of preparedness in my home.

The Collective are now signed up for music classes. Lets see how they do!

MY primary goal for 2010, be a more attentive, Wife, Mother, and friend....

tongues don't lie

2009-12-29T23:41:00.003-06:00

It was part of the temp crown that fell off, and luck have it, I had some food smushed in my what is left of my shell of a tooth...I knew something was wrong.

So I sat in the Dentists chair after work AGAIN.

Only to be given a blanket, and the remote. I fell asleep. Geesh. Who knew I needed to go to the Dentist for naps?

He replaced the temp crown, I did not require any novacaine, because I rule....

Lets hope this ordeal is over, it has made me real tired, pain will make you sleepy and not care.

On other fronts, I have a list here, that is growing, but no "oomph" to attack said list, I guess it can wait.

My son is turning 8 this week. 8.

I now have a 6 and 8 year old. Time goes too fast, and there is this horrid feeling in the pit of my stomach, that time will only speed up. Poof.

Unsure what to get SR for his Birthday. He has been enjoying the Wii, but he wants a Nintendo DSI. Frankly one game system is enough, and he only gets limited time on it, chores must be done etc. Maybe a chess set, so he can teach me to play? Maybe another science kit? He is hard to shop for.

PN has been coming home from Holiday camp WIPED out tired and GRUMPY. Not fun...I feel bad she gets so overdone. She is mean as a snake when tired.

I am off to bed, still working on my Christmas cards like a looser...

WE are expected to get more snow...MORE. The kids and I want it to stay above 26 degrees so we can build a snowman...

My son will turn 8 this week

2009-12-28T22:32:00.002-06:00

Pinch me.

Everyone is right, they grow up far too quickly..

This is the last blizzard from Dec 8...

2009-12-27T16:25:00.003-06:00

I thought the person that made this did a great job!

imagine 11 more inches on top!

My Dad, and Sister's hometown was on Fox and Friends this morning, 20 inches of snow +. My Sister said, everyone showed up to work!

Amazing....

Check out this amazing photo album from my Father's hometown paper....some of the ice crystals are like NOThING I have ever ever seen...they look like feathers...amazing. No wonder Eskimos have so many different names for the stuff! Also there are some amazing drifts at the back end of this....very interesting tall drifts! There is one taller than a pickup truck, some homes are almost covered. You should take a look!

I love what I got for Christmas!

2009-12-27T14:11:00.002-06:00

DH got me knee high smartwool skiing socks! I have the toastiest feet EVER! Love them.

PN and Daddy bought me new perfume, Allure..love it too.

The Wii fit, says I am at a healthy weight...I love it.

My MIL, sent me a griddle, love it, I can eat with everyone! also a new electric skillet that will fit a lot of food inside! I can make enough fried chicken for everyone now!

These socks rule...

Merry Christmas, and never again...

2009-12-26T21:38:00.004-06:00

I will be more organized next Christmas, I will be organized next Christmas, I will be organized next Christmas.

I adore celebrating the birth of our Savior, but loathe, the running I tend to do yearly, all because of my decision to wait to do my shopping. The worst part of shopping, other than spending money, is the driving everywhere. Driving all over wastes time indeed. NEVER again, I am proclaiming it here and now! With the kids busy, and the birthdays, me working 30 hours a week, and the schedules..never again. I know better.

Second, we have been snowed in since Thursday, forgive my nuttiness. I can handle the Husband, and the kids most of the time, and the dog when he wants to snuggle....but if any of these Universes collide..ick count me out. This is so far the third worst snow, and ice storms. The biggest problem, this storm system was SLOW. It started snowing and blowing Thursday, after a nice sheet of ice, and well it just keeps going.

Since we have been snowed in for 3 days I wish I would have bought extra storage containers for new toys, more hangers for the Christmas clothing.

On a personal note, I have been plagued with dental problems. I got a root canal the other day, it went fine, other than my freakishly long and curved roots, which btw i had an extra root! They dug around in my mouth for 2 1/2 hours, the Dr. numbed me up nicely, I took nothing prior and actually fell asleep in the middle of the thing. My guess is, I am never down for that length of time. Well alone anyway. I got to watch the news, in a recliner, with dental instruments in my mouth...who new I would have to go to the Dentist to get rest. Since the roots were wild, the Dentist has to do some work on the 13th, so he put a temporary crown in. WEll yesterday I woke with a pain in my left ear, and neck, lymph glands were swollen...and i instantly knew my abscess/ infection was not over, and I needed more antibiotics...The temporary crown also either got swallowed in the night or with my meals. I had to call my Dentist on Christmas at his home. I am thrilled he lives down the street, because I might have needed some urgent care due to the storm. I told him I suspected an infection, he agreed and threw me back on antibiotics. The biggest problem, was finding an open pharmacy, on Christmas in a blizzard. He located one, and then it was up to DH to Venture out and get my medicine...

I just kept thinking about how if it was 1890, I might be dead by now..Oral infections are nothing to mess with, and my sinuses were a mess from this tooth. Stupid thing has been causing problems for weeks...There is a technological thank you for telephones, medicines, 4WD, and so many other wonderful things yesterday...and the Dentist was a peach too. I should probably take something next time I go to see him, I felt like a horses ass for calling him on a Holiday.

So many lessons learned. Do not ignore a tooth EVER even if it is not bothering you, it will, and have a Husband nice enough to retrieve medicine for you when you feel like you will die without it..

DH, and his 4 WD saved the day.

I am thrilled I got a Wii fit, maybe that will motivate me to get to the gym?

And so it goes...

2009-12-24T19:57:00.002-06:00

Tonight we started the evening off with 4:30 pm candlelight service, it was lovely, and made me cry...

The four of us managed to get to church on time to actually get a candle to light, the four of sang hymns together.....it was lovely. Even in a near blizzard.

The wind is feirce, as is the ice, and the snow cannot seem to make up its mind.

Made it home to make oyster stew, which both children actually liked, although it was RICH indeed. I made a small relish tray, put out olives, pickles out, everyone got fancy wine glasses to drink out of. The collective toasted God.

It was wonderful, and makes me tear up ....

OK enough lady, go finish wrapping gifts, make a breakfast casserole, and clean up this mess.

Grammie sent pajamas, and in keeping with tradition, I let the kids open pajamas on Christmas Eve. She sent 2 pair per child, little button up coat type pajamas that I love soooo much. We are not leaving town, because of blizzard conditions, but i do wish MIL was here to share the holidays with us...

Every year we call her as soon as I perch on the sofa so she can hear the children open gifts!

The witching hour

2009-12-23T16:56:00.002-06:00

My Husband is amidst bringing the kids home...

SR is ill with a cold, and c/o no energy today, so DH took him to work. I guess he was a peach.

Then he picked up PN for me, and she had her daily case of the grumps.

He stopped at culvers, and picked them up concrete mixers as a treat. PN could be heard whining over the phone. complaining of too many m&m's and the fact that it was melting...

Seriously.

He is normally not around them @ this time of day. I told him i am far too familiar with the witching hour, which if I had 1/2 a brain should be followed by happy hour....

Ice cream, and complaining, and so close to Christmas.

They are both tired and will be going to bed early, otherwise they will be getting coal in shoes....

What we have been up to

2009-12-22T23:54:00.001-06:00

Been reading a lot of this...

2009-12-21T21:48:00.001-06:00

oye..

But this is what is going wrong...

Tah Dah...

2009-12-19T22:00:00.002-06:00

This birthday party right before Christmas idea is for the birds....

BUSY.

I did manage to get 1/2 Christmas shopping done today! Thrilled. The stores were not nearly as nightmarish as I would think. I asked every single cashier how their day was going, they all said "so far, so good"...that made me happy.

What did not make me happy was holding at least 5 doors open for men...REALLY? PN and I standing in the cold holding doors open for the elderly, or weighed down new Mothers, and men walking past us. I bit my tongue.

I managed to get 15 photos of the kids, and the dog last night, none of them terrific, but a couple good enough to print out. Ran them to Walgreens, and boooyawh, I had Christmas cards in an hour or two, and I also learned I did not print enough off, so my guess is, I will have to make another trip there.

We also managed a visit to Santa last night. This is good, because SR has changed his list a little over the last 3 weeks.

I will be getting him a chemistry experiment book, with a small chemistry set, and the ice cream maker...

Today PN and I had girls day, we had to get things for the birthday goodie bags, and order her store bought cake. SR wants a carrot cake home made, no frosting on half. I have to get this done tonight....

RSVPS keep coming in. SR is thrilled with every phonecall!

I am beat. Cannot drink anything ice cold because of the tooth...ouchie.

Wish me luck tomorrow. I have no idea how many guests are coming. WE can have 25, we will see, I think I have 24 RSVP...

I will charge my camera during church tomorrow....

2009-12-17T17:11:00.000-06:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Elves

2009-12-17T17:06:00.000-06:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

When it is not what you thought it was...

2009-12-16T19:52:00.002-06:00

The "sinus infection", was actually an abscessed tooth! Go team! This is what I get from growing up in a non-fluoridated community, and having an alcoholic dentist for the first 17 years of life.

So what does one want to do over the holidays? They want to drop hundreds of dollars on a root canal! The root canal is scheduled for Monday 10:15am. The Dentist told me, these things are not as painful as they used to be, and I should be able to go back to work right after....who knew? Root canal, sounds painful!

OK, so this morning, I dropped off presents for teachers, invites to party, paperwork for teachers to fill out, kids off, went to work, left work, went to Dentist, stopped at pharmacy, went back to work, left work, picked up kids from school, and picked up the drugs at the pharmacy...that is my day in a nutshell. MOTION. Throw a tooth, actually an entire head that hurts like the devil, and well it was a long day.

In good news, no more swooshing whiskey in my mouth, I have vicodin for the evenings, and more antibiotic to take 4 times a day..holy crud.

Amazing how much a tooth can hurt your entire body, and how bad it can make your breath. Ick.

In other news I am disappointed in the YMCA's everything for kids here, and I made a decision to pull the kids from the swim lessons, and gymnastics there. It is very expensive, and might be worth it, if I actually had time to use the gym, but sadly I do not, and do not see my time for excercise increasing anytime soon. So, I am going to put them in a private swim school, and music lessons. I must go explore these options in the next week or so, as the music school is enrolling now.

Let me see, what else. I am still packed from the visit to my Father's home 3 days ago. I am getting this project done in the next 36 hours, even if it kills me.

I love when I cook to much food, and freeze it fro a meal later, it is a time and money saver!

Oh and the dog chewed up my most awesome pair of camel colored slingbacks....my own fault, I should have put them in my shoe bag...

How cold is it?

2009-12-15T23:13:00.002-06:00

I used to love that bit by johnny Carson...

Yesterday was the last day of gymnastics, and swim until January. Thank goodness, I felt bad sticking SR in a swimsuit while it is 9 degrees out of doors. No scouts last night. CREW is done @ church until January.

Brrr....

Today was a busy day @ work, we are SWAMPED.

After school, which was let out early for a "planning day", I had to go to the Psychologist to meet re: SR. An appointment I set up about a month ago. We are not having much trouble with him @ home, but he is having bad days at school. The plan is for all to fill out paperwork, and then meet as a team. He is bored out of his mind....#1 problem. The Psychologist agreed that the kid is probably bored, and will get together with the school Psychologist who we adore...

Then I took the kids to get hair cuts, dropped next door to Papa Murphy's and picked up 2 thin crust pizzas.

Tonight, I am recharging lunch cards for the kids, writing out final birthday party invites, rounding up teachers gifts to take to school, along with paperwork for the teachers to fill out for the Dr.

I am tired.

To make matters more exciting, I have a bad tooth. Ouch I have been swishing whisky all night, for lack of any real drugs in the house. I hope to God they can get me in there in the afternoon.

I must finish shopping, Christmas cards, Santa visit, order birthday cakes, because if I try and make them I will go nutso...

irritated

2009-12-12T09:53:00.002-06:00

My Dad is going to be irritated that we have not gotten on the road yet...however I had to pack the kids, make breakfast, do dishes, finish up laundry...because after all I will not be here all weekend. DH hd to take the truck and get an oil change and run the dog.

I cannot help but think of pre children, when DH and I would pack ourselves in 2 minutes on a Friday night after work and head to Denver for the weekend.

Ha, that seems like eons ago.

Now it takes preparation.

As much as I love my family, I could have used the weekend at home, to get things done.

Hoping to take the kids sledding while there and get a GREAT photo for Christmas cards...yes indeedy I have not started them yet

Headed to my Pops

2009-12-11T22:43:00.002-06:00

Tonight we enjoyed ourselves immensely, and went to the tour of Bethlehem down the road, very, very cool. My batteries in my camera were dead, so sad. We also attended our churches Handel's Messiah performance. Awesome, and the children got to watch a harpist in the vestibule. There are bot many nights in Lincoln Nebraska, where you get to see a camel, a harpist, eat figs, and watch an orchestra all in one night.

I will be up late doing laundry, and packing bags for the weekend...I could use some time here to organize myself, but thats not gonna happen for 13 more years or so.

SR did mention tonight that he would like to perform at the tour of Bethlehem next year, and I started thinking....he might like theater. He loves attention! He also has the best memory ever. He told me "I am sensitive, and you need to be sensitive to act..." great....

He is dramatic, I will give him that.

this snow is not going anywhere soon...

2009-12-10T21:43:00.001-06:00

those cookies were a pain

2009-12-10T11:38:00.002-06:00

MIL warned me.

Those cookies were a pain in my backside.

SR has been saying "I am bored for almost 3 days" nice.

PN cleaned her room, and has been a tremendous help.

I am off to clean bathrooms, and do laundry. The laundry I thought was caught up! Ha.

I need to run to the church and drop off cookies.

I managed to get through a pile of mail, of which 4 things were actually important. Geesh, so much junk.

I need to locate a movie from the library, we have the case, but cannot find the movie...nice.

I also need to make a run to a mailbox.

We were supposed to go to my Dad's this weekend, but there was a 30,000 gal propane tank explosion, and the National Guard had to change the drill date. So I must take advantage of the weekend, and get as much as I can done. I have yet to get a Christmas card photo taken. The snow might make a good backdrop.

Enjoy your day....

Post Blizzard special

2009-12-09T12:45:00.003-06:00

This is a photo of the street out front...uh yeah can't tell much from all of the white, but that is what 10 inches of snow looks like after 50 mph winds...

This is a part of the back yard, that is a 5 or so foot tall fence, and that is an amazing DRIFT.
Another snow day, thanks to 50 mph winds, and 10 inches of snow.

The kids are fine, but the dog is driving me CRAZY.

So far I am still in jammies.

A pan of lasagne is made, and how yummy will that be tonight?

I also have 2 batches of chocolate crinkle dough out on the front porch chilling. (The recipie says 3 hours to chill. The recipe writer did not count on 15 below temps!

Hopefully it will be done in an hour!

I have to have these made for Christmas on 84th Street tomorrow.

I actually almost have laundry caught up too!

We are headed outside...I think we are crazy. Yesterday there was no wind, and we managed a couple of hours. Today the wind is fierce, DH says he gives us 10 minutes...

Nebraska on cusp of blizzard...

2009-12-08T17:16:00.002-06:00

So we enjoyed it while we could.... gonna be a long cold night.

It was a sinus infection, and I have been busy as a 3 legged cat covering poop

2009-12-08T11:22:00.000-06:00

Christmas is upon us, and I find myself, making promises to myself AGAIN. Things like..."you must get this done earlier next year" mantra over and over in my skull.

Today I am home watching the snow accumulate. The school called off school today, work ok me being off. They say we could have a foot. Beef stew is on, laundry going (and going) , dishwasher empty, There is a list a mile long. Birthday party invites, Christmas cards, gift shopping, mailing packages. I need an elf.

It is one of those gorgeous snows though, soft, quiet, no wind. 8 degrees, and not that cold because there is no wind. The kids have been out with the dog once already, and I intend on sending them back out.

This past weekend was fantastic, and i wish I had the time to put photos up, and tell you all about it, maybe soon.

Oh and if you married folks have not seen the movie Fireproof, watch it.

Headache...a weird one

2009-12-01T21:34:00.000-06:00

Have not had one of these weird headaches in ages...my old Dr. called these tension headaches. My imitrix not touching it...CRAP.

Hurts when I cough, bend and move...

Day 2 of it. Neck hurts like heck, and sometimes I feel like someone has a cattle prod on my neck. Zap, like electrical current.

Yuck.

Went to bed early last night, and tonight too...

Need to get better, list one mile long.

Tomorrow night: church, Thursday night: art center, Friday: train ride, Saturday: Holiday Parade, Sunday church and UNL Christmas music concert.

Cannot feel like this, if not better by Thursday I may have to go get a shot...something I have not needed to do in YEARS...

Yoga would help, I know, must find time for myself soon....

My baby turns 6...

2009-11-29T20:44:00.000-06:00

When I think of PN, this song seems to run through my head.

Her spirit, is one that I wish everyone could have. Sweet, kind, EXCITED, loves details, and is a peacemaker. She will go far I have no doubts.

I am off to make her an angel food cake in my mother's angel food cake pan...

Gorgeous OUT...

2009-11-28T14:37:00.002-06:00

Tree is up, fluffed, lit, and decorated.

My hair has been colored, I hope well enough to cover the gray.

Lights outside are up as well.

I need my advent wreath, and candles.

I have been indoors, and it is gorgeous out. The plan was to finish cleaning up the Christmas mess, and bake.

So much for planning, it is gorgeous out.

The Collective have been wanting holes poked in lids all morning. PN has the seasons last grasshopper. A sad lad, is missing an antennae and a wing. SR has a worm. They are currently digging in dirt looking for more.

I am going to head out and finish up fall clean up. The rose bush up front needs to be removed.

There are butterfly bushes that need trimmed as well as about 2,000 sq feet of flower beds that need cleaning.

Wash machine, dryer, and dishwasher all running. I need extensions cords that are not bright orange for the front. I might convince DH to head out...oh and lightbulbs, we need light bulbs...

Had a good day..

2009-11-26T22:28:00.002-06:00

Traveled West to spend the day with some of DH' family, it was lovely. I have eaten enough turkey in the past 7 days to turn into one...

PN is ill with a cold, the cough started last night, this evening she had a full blown runny nose with sneezing. Poor little girl, I hope she is not ill on her 6th birthday!

So, tomorrow I am making this...

Coconut/ Walnut Shrimp

Recipe:
1/2 pound shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 Tbsp wine
1 Tbsp cornstarch

batter:
1 egg
1/2 cup tapioca starch
1 tsp salt

Sauce:
3 Tbsp coconut milk
3 Tbsp mayo
1 Tbsp lemon juice
2-3 Tbsp honey
handful of glazed walnuts

Directions:
1. Wash and dry shrimp thoroughly. Then mix with the wine and cornstarch and leave aside while preparing the rest of the ingredients.
2. Beat the egg with the starch and salt. Add enough cold water to form a smooth but slightly thick batter. Heat enough oil for deep frying to 350 F. Using chopsticks, dip each shrimp in the batter, then fry in the hot oil for a few minutes until golden and crispy. Drain on paper towels.
3. While the shrimps are frying, mix the sauce ingredients in a saucepan. After the shrimps are all done frying, place the shrimp on a plate and pour the sauce over. Sprinkle with the walnuts.

I also need to make room for Christmas items to be carried up, so the tree can be fluffed up and decorated.

I need to make an advent wreath, and the list continues to rock on.

More cookies need to be made, this time Russian tea crescents, and chocolate crinkles.