Sunday, January 31, 2010

A song for Sunday

One of PN's favorite songs to sing...

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Why would I want to do that?

PN, and the boy she wants to marry someday....

My daughter is a peach about remembering EVERYTHING. She always remembers her backpack, early releases from school, birthdays, EVERYTHING. She even reminds me about my things. She is a good egg. Tonight she remembered her eye drops and her medicine, and I said to her, "you know what? You would make a good nurse". I said that for various reasons, she is a good judge of people, is easy to get along with, has a ton of empathy, she likes taking care of others.

She replied "no thanks, that does not sound fun at all".

I had to laugh, because really she is right, it is not a "fun" job.

I wonder what she will do with her incredible people skills?

Right now her goal is to be a Mommy, to only one child. She used to want 12, but she has changed her mind. She has her husband picked out, and wants to have one baby and open a Chinese restaurant.

I do not speak of PN much on the blog, probably because she is my easy child. She helps me clean, and cook. She is very detail oriented, unlike me. If I wrap a gift, I throw some paper on it done, she is careful, and wants matching ribbons, and a card with a similar shade of envelope. She will pack her purse the night before we go places. She takes the time to make her friends gifts, and presents, and books. On Sunday mornings she packs her bible, and put on her cross pin she made. She knows all of her classmates first and last names, some parents names and where parents work, who has pets, who likes the color purple, who likes Star Wars. She has an incredible memory for these details.

The child has already written 50 books, she loves drawing, and coloring, and cutting and pasting. She has made herself 3 calendars so she can keep track of the month, and dates. She would not want to forget anything. When I was 6, I do not think I understood the calander yet. She does.

She will make a wonderful Mommy, and woman.

She is also my worrier. She worries about others.

Her parent teacher conference is this week, and I will hear nothing to cause me worry. At the last conference, the teacher could not think of anything to tell us. She said PN is the PERFECT student, and will do well in school.

Tonight she helped me make dinner, and was in charge of the ambrosia salad. It was tasty, and a good salad to have on hand. I might suggest you have your little people make it for dinner. They do love to help.

2 large cans mandarin oranges
2 large cans pinapple chunks
2 cups mini marshmallows
1 cup sour cream
(drain all fruit except for one can oranges)
1 cup cocunut

Stir well chill for 2 hours and serve

I adore this child of mine, and she is such a thoughtful, thoughtful little girl.

Thursday, January 28, 2010


I missed work yesterday. Surprise.

PN had cold signs and symptoms for 2 days, I picked her up from school Wednesday, and her left eye was mucky. We came home I washed it out with baby shampoo, put some artificial tears in, made her warm pack it. Went in her room at about midnight, and it was crusted shut. I cleaned it up again, and let her sleep. Woke in the morning, to find her eye all prize fighter puffy, warm packed it, cleaned it out again. She still had cold signs and symptoms. I knew if I took her to school, I would get a call. So I called the boss lady, got us ready for the day, just in case we could go, and drove her to the Dr. without an appointment.

Let me mention I adore our family Dr. He is a gem, and CALM. CALM. I love that about him.

Seems that she had a sinus infection that backed up. Gross. She is now on eye gtts QID. And an oral antibiotic. Poor little thing. She looked so tough. However, she really did not complain.

Let me note here the kids have NEVER had an eye infection. NEVER.

PN gets to have jammie day tomorrow @ school, gets to take a stuffed animal, and have pancakes. She is excited.

SR, had a good week, annoyed a substitute teacher by saying the word substitute over and over, but it is what it is....other than that he is good. He has actually had a VERY good couple of weeks.

We all skipped church Wednesday night, I was wiped, PN was ill, so we took the night off. Let me tell you this, I missed it SOOO much, and will not be skipping again.

I must share something though. The other morning, while at the Dr. I was complaining in my head. "the Dr? really? Missing work again, could these kids wash their hands better, here goes $ on a co-pay, and a day missed wages...wah wah wah whining. "

On the way out of the Dr. I saw a Father unloading a tenny wheelchair, in the snow, with wind blowing...and trying to get the wheelchair unpacked, and get the little boy in the wheelchair....

I was so ashamed of myself, I cannot tell you. I was ashamed. I tried to put myself in that gentlemans shoes for 2 minutes....

That Father would give anything, for an eye infection.


Tuesday, January 26, 2010

my calendar

Is full these days. there are few spots blank it seems, my own doing. While it feels good to be busy, it is something for sure.

I have not missed any appointments, I always call ahead to make sure to make sure I have the right dates. So far I have only made a couple of errors. thought things were earlier.

The winter season is taking its toll, the lack of fresh air, etc....

When I was little I used to think my Mother was nuts when she would open up windows on a cold day and air the place out....but as a Mother I get this. I did that today. Despite it being COLD, I opened the house, made the kids get a blanket, and TRIED to air out the house, until I could not bear the cold temps any longer.

I have my woman's Bible study class tomorrow, which is good. I am enjoying it, and meeting new people. The kids will have CREW. I volunteered to make snacks and did so tonight. Popcorn balls. It was messy but simple.

PN is down with a cold, a bad one...she is not fun when sick. I am pretty sure she ran herself down over the past couple of weeks. She was having a terrible time getting to sleep. I am going to guess she was over tired, but who knows. She has a lot going on in her head....She managed to go right to sleep last night and tonight.

I bought SR a couple of books this past week, one on managing frustration, and one on perfectionism. He is reading them, and I am hoping it helps. He gets frustrated quickly, angry....and well despite conversation after conversation about it, little improvement. So I went ahead and did what I do with everything else, I bought him the books. He is trying the new techniques, and is letting me know, which he thinks are plain silly, and which are ineffective.

The "school thing", that is what I will call it. Hind sight is 20-20. Right now I am angry. I will also say this, it is a good thing, SR reads, and reads, and learns on his own....because I promise you if he would have been a child that would have really needed academic help this year, he would have been left behind. This year would have been the year that was a waste. I am still angry, because it was a waste of his time. No one values your time when you are 8, and they think what is important to every other 8 year old should be important to you too.

I have read the articles on children in college, and I have heard the criticism, and comments. "That kid should be in soccer, or playing!" What if the kid does not like soccer? What if the child LOVES learning. Because guess what, there are people that LOVE learning. If you asked my son if he would rather do a math worksheet, or play soccer, the math would win. There are people who LOVE science and math, and thank God for those people.

So I am angry today, as I try and get my little head on, and my best advocate pants.....and meanwhile, I read up on state laws, and programs, and try and find my child scholarships for extracurricular learning activities.

He is not going to wait for us people, we need to hurry.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Where is the Sun?

For 8 days, we have not really seen the sun. 6 of those days, were frozen fog. Pretty for a photo or two for a postcard, but enough already. Winter has been so COLD, and feels so long to me @ this point that I wore a sweatshirt out for errands in 38 degrees. I looked around and noted all the adults around me, had the same idea. Some with short sleeves on running around. A balmy 38 degrees...

It has been a bizarre winter. COLD. VERY cold. As long as there is no wind, I can hang in the cold. However it is Nebraska, so the days without wind are far and few between.

What has gotten me through winter? The idea that someone did this 200 years ago, with no TV, no neighbors, no videogames, no TV, no internet, no indoor plumbing, no school, no car, , no wash machine, no indoor plumbing, no wash machine, no oven.....

It is a wonder they all did not kill one another....

Saturday, January 23, 2010

How do you like it, now that you are back "home"?

I am most comfortable here, I know what to expect, some folks are friendly, others not so much. The weather, well we have dosed heavily, but i must say I love the seasons, even if it means I have one week to prepare for gardening, and have to spend 12 hours a day doing such, same with fall. My family is near, which has been good, I have been able to spend some time with each of them.

Things that have caught me off guard, or I forgot, or that got worse.

1)The potholes this winter, are the most ridiculous I have ever seen, the city is now strewn with hubcaps, people are unhappy after replacing tires after tires. I do not recall it EVER being this bad.

2)The lack of really fantastic restaurants. I can come up with about 5 very decent privately owned restaurants in town. There are some ok chains in town, but they are not always my preference. To my knowledge there is not one decent place to get seafood in town. We do not go out to eat often, because I am a frugal person, and a fair cook. Most of what I have been served while out, have disappointed me. There are some gems in town though. There is a very good Vietnamese place in town, that is not upscale, but the food is quite good. There is a Thai place, that gets a lot of BUZZ, but every single time we load up the car and make the drive, there is no parking, or they are closed. What manages to suprise me? The amount of CRAPPY food being served in town, and PEOPLE loving it enough to keep these places open.

3)Lincoln is a booming town, yet I see signs all over town of distress, buildings being torn down, roads not being taken care of, private businesses not doing well. This week a long time private clothing store, and a book store have both closed doors. so much for Mom and Pop. It is just enough to make me a bit nervous about the local economy.

I should not be so pedestrian about evaluating the city, I am not out much, nor do we spend a lot of time, out and about, but this is what I see.

Other than that, so far so good. I do like it here, and cannot wait for Spring and Summer. I do like that the city is family friendly. There are a lot of parks, and trails for walking and biking, the PARKS! There are plenty of community events, in fact there are so many I find myself checking them often. The grocery stores are CLEAN. Something I missed.

So far so good.....

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Have you had a year that changed your life?

Beth Moore posed this question at the start of last weeks Bible study.

I really want to know what year, or years in your life changed you?

You could post it in a comment, or blog about it at your site, but i want to read about it, so let me know.

Thanks AWTM

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

another root canal...

OK, so I know my root canal is sooo darn exciting to read about.

I had to have the temp filling removed tonight, and everything re drilled, including the weird curved extra roots. Essentially it was another root canal.

The last 2 days have been better, much better, I am finally feeling my old self...well until today.

Let me also mention, my Trigeminal nerve was effected by the dental procedure, the infection, and the sinus infection. During the last hour of the root canal, I had spasms of the muscles around my mouth, and jaw. Fun times. Crap.

So now I am on muscle relaxers, which Dr. prescribed to rest the jaw the other week. This Dentist today put me on steroids, as anti inflamatory. I am hoping this helps...seriously. I am going to take my narcs tonight and try to get a good nights rest.

Who knows what is going on. The jaw is sore tonight, of course. The root canal with my odd roots, took an abnormal amount of time. 2 hours. I guess that is what happens, when you have extra long curved caveman roots.

So I am hoping to see an improvement soon.

I would like to feel my normal energy filled self. Soon, and mind over matter.

When I practiced nursing I cared for a lot of chronically ill people, alot of whom sufferred with depression, from being in pain. I understand this now, even after this small little problem. AS with all things, it could be worse. Having low energy, and pain means your daily lists, well your expectation is so high, and boom if your body is not cooperating you just cannot keep up. If you are in pain, your day is not good, if you take the meds, poof you cannot keep your pace up. It is a catch 22. I have see it play out hundreds of times. You can be in pain and tired, or on meds and tired, pick one.

When my Mother was fighting cancer, she worked through the first year. She would work an 8 hour day, and then go to radiation, and chemo, and poof she was done. She could hardly feed herself, or enjoy the rest of her day...I recall a conversation we had over the phone one day, a conversation which I begged her to quit working. She didn't want to quit, she liked her job, she loved her friends, she was not done being in the game yet....I convinced her to quit. I told her, her energy could be spent trying to rest, enjoy the 8 hours of energy she had.... cancer, chemo, and radiation take a lot out of people.

Pain is not good.

So far so good, and I get a month off before they put a crown on.

I am showing up in a darn crown for this thing, and this root canal better be the best root canal EVER. I have never spent so much time, or money on a singular tooth in my life. also not a surprise the national Guard Dental benifits bite. Seriously. Most dental insurance bites it anyway...but WOW.

OK I am off to LA LA land, and have to work in the morning, the kiddos are back in school, and it will be rock and roll time. On a side note I hope SR GI bug stays out of the house. It is going through town like wildfire.


Monday, January 18, 2010

TAG, your it...

I had to work today. I got home, and DH had to leave. TAG!

Tomorrow the school decided they needed a "work day", or something, even though we just had 6 snow I am home, and will miss the day and TAG I am it.

I also get my root canal finished tomorrow! They should be able to clean out the center of the extra curved root etc. Will be taking the kids, along with a movie, and am hoping the office is ok with that.

I enjoyed these photos today from DH' and The Collective going sledding day! Believe it or not, the snow is melting rapidly, which is amazing, but the 34 degree temps feel balmy after a week or so well below zero. We have also had freezing fog for 2 days straight, almost all day. During the day, the temps are high enough it is not a problem. However, this morning when I left for work, holy Moses, it was slick!

DH had fun with the kids, he had to work most of the weekend, so he missed out on a lot of fun!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

A bright spot in the week, second band practice

First practice of the day

Last Practice of the day, kids were pooped

Kids learning lyrics

Friday, January 15, 2010

7 missed days from work in 2 1/2 weeks

6 of those were snow days, days where school was canceled. I cannot leave the children alone.

Today it was a nasty stomach GI bug, and poor SR. He was actually upset about missing school, as he had a lot of homework to hand in today, and today was the last day of the semester. Let me say this, SR is the best of patients, he is calm, and sleepy. Unlike PN, who acts like a cat in a paper bag. So we had a fairly quiet day until about noon.

The puppy, wanted to play, we were not in the mood. BTW, the puppy is about 35 pounds now. Uh yeah, big puppy. He actually is behaving fairly nicely, especially when he is excercised adequately. WE are lucky to have a dog park near the home, the dog can run, and play and wrestle with other dogs, he loves it. He will also be getting neutered soon. I think DH would prefer to breed him, etc. I however would rather have a CALM pup. He is smart, and can now shake, roll over, sit, lie down, ring the bell to pee, and is learning commands with a whistle. He is tolerating temperatures above 20 degrees pretty well, he enjoys his bath and pulls no shenanigans during it. In bad news, it seems as though i am always retreiving something from him, a toy of the collectives, a hanger, underpants, socks, shoes, something. He is also the snoopiest dog ever, anand has a hounds nose he sniffs and snorts and seeks any dropped morsel of food. His favorite place to look for food is under PN's chair. Do I adore him yet? When he is being good, I love him, when he is wild not so much, he can run around the house like a horse, which is comical, but he could potentially knock a person down. He is strong. For those of you on facebook, we have vidoe of him pulling PN on the sled. He is strong. I read these dogs are used for skijoring, and sledding in Europe. So hoping next winter to get a harness for him. I will take some photos tomorrow, because you will not believe the size of him. HUGE.

I have a plan with the school, I do not want to rehash any of it at this time, I am at peace at the moment.

The root canal, sinus, whatever the freak it is...seems to be a bit better...However, since the root canal when I yawn, cough, chew, my jaw is hurting like mad, my left eye twitching is insane. My Dr. thinks I am having spasms, not TMJ, but similar since the procedure. He gave me some muscle relaxers. which help, when I can take them. I do not like to take them during the day, which is frankly when I should take them but some days they make me more exhausted than is what it is. My job also requires I TALK ALL DAY, which normally would be ok, but I am finding it is fatiguing to my jaw...

After missing so many days in such a short amount of time, I am sure my head is on some sort of chopping block. Ughhh.....I better work my tuchus off when I return, and bring donuts for the love of Pete.

Also our school system has 2 days off next week for Martin Luther King Day. 2 days...DH is covering one of those days here, and I am having to cover the count them 8 days missed in 3 1/2 weeks. Nice.

the temps are finally above 10 degrees. Praise the Lord.

Tomorrow I get to go watch the kids @band pratice. I am taking the camera. So far the kids are loving it. In fact SR is star student of the week next week, and he wrote "I play electric guitar in a rock band."

All is ok, my Father's girlfriend has been diagnosed with Grave's disease. I promised i would get her some information ASAP. Must get it done by Sunday.

Be good, enjoy your soft beds, warm homes, full tummies, and family.....

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

It is the part of Winter, where I feel as though I will never ever see Spring again...

DH claims this is normal. I am starting to understand the alcoholism, and despair in Iceland.

The seed catalogs have started coming in. I call this Spring pRon.

The dog does not have a lot of fur, good for not shedding, however, he produces oils at an exponential rate. these oils smell bad...he needs a bath every week if he is gonna live here. I am doubting this is good for the dog, but whatever, it is what it is.

The kids are fine, excited about their band. SR has his pine box car derby this Saturday, will miss band practice, and has a birthday party to attend. Laser tag. PN will have band practice, and she also has a birthday party to attend the same day. DH has drill. We also start back at CREW this week. I have found a woman's study to go to at our church, and although I could take the quiet, and be at home puttering about....I am going to go, because I do love Beth Moore, and I could use the spiritual strength to get me through the upcoming year with SR. It is exhausting enough, but now with the meetings with this person and that...well it worsens.

We have had a ton of paperwork given to us, to give to the school. It is sooo hard for me to read some of what is written. Things like, he lacks creativity, empathy, etc...this is something we do not see. SR fascinated with his new biology book, and is learning about cancer, and HIV, and other illnesses, allergic reactions. He speaks of curing AIDS, and cancer.....he wonders why no one has taken the time to do so. They are having a "twin day" @ school this week he told me he did not want to participate, because if there are 3 friends, and 2 decide to be twins, someone will feel left out. Oye....I am trying to maintain grace and composure here, during all of this. Of course I think he is a super kiddo, I am his Mom. I know I will get no where wild eyed, and screaming. I must maintain a grace I have never seen, and do not know. I am a scrapper by nature and example. Scrapper is not good. Once I had these children, I stopped being scrappy. I try to go with the flow, and smile and nod, and I have even cleaned up my language. The next meeting with the school, I will take Panera coffe, and rolls.

BIL should be coming home from Iraq soon. We are blessed in this family to have had soooo many deployments, and our men continue to come home safe. So BIL, be safe, we love and miss you. SR cannot wait for you to come here, and help him build, and take computers apart, and build!

My MIL is now retired. For those of you who do not know I am one of the lucky folks that has a wonderful MIL, we get along, despite her having to listen to me. I admire her. She is now retired, and I think we have convinced her to come and live here for part of the year. I hope she does ok, and does not feel put out. We could use her help with the kids over the summer. However all of us are thinking the arrangement should be a good one for all involved. We have shared a home before, and all went well, infact there are sooo many good memories, of just her and I. WE enjoy the same things, movies, books, Nebraska history. I also think she can offer a soft emotional pillow for the kids. Grandmas are like that. And my children, have one Grandma, and a hard nosed Grandpa. Time is fleeting, and we have missed her very much. I also think she will love being here, and spending time with her son, as they have not been able to see much of each other. I hope it goes well pray for us all....

Let me see, work is good BUSY. They day goes by sooooo quickly it is amazing.

I still do not have thank you's done, nor all of my Christmas cards...I am giving myself until the end of the month...

I am exhausted....night all

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Nobody seemed to know me, everybody passed me by

Sent the children today to their first Academy of Rock lesson. Dad is with.

Band name picked out, first song picked. The band contains 4 children. My son and daughter included...I got to listen on speaker phone, not to shabby!

PN on drums, SR on guitar....

The song will we Crossroads by Cream, which I find oddly appropriate at this juncture in SR's life.

God knows we have been on our knees doing some praying, and yes we are at a Crossroad...

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Not much to say, sorta grumpy...

Have I mentioned how competitive SR is? He is, last night we went bowling, and I brought my game. Here he is trying to be goofy and choke me out!

This is SR deciding he would love me, even if I was the most AWESOME bowler EVER....

2nd trip to the psychologist, they trashed the ADHD, and put us in the Asperger's bucket..

And I the Mom, the one that should be capable of fixing everything, and picking him up and dusting him off...sadly feels like a failure.

And even though we, or HE has made GREAT strides, no one will ever know...unless you journeyed with us.

He can swim, ride a bike, sit through noise, sit in a theater unbothered by how FREAKING loud it can be....his IQ 160. He knows sadness, sarcasm, joy...even from others. He shows empathy, kindness, and tenderness, which are not typical with children with this diagnosis...

so now I am I continue to do this through bureaucracy, or do we continue to work on this as a family team...

The problem being, any school will not make exceptions for much without a damn piece of paper. 2 mentors are not enough, this kids brain is the hungriest I have ever seen...he is bright, and curious...

Please no comments, on how your child's diagnosis has been such a great thing for them, and how great an IEP is...your child is your child. How an IQ of 160 means nothing, and IQ indicates nothing. I am not in the mood to hear how I need this IEP to figure out how my child learns etc...learning is not the problem in my home...if he wants the information, he consumes it, if he need guidance we are there. He teaches himself at his own rate, along with what we teach him, and school teaches him...Our problem lies in other places right now...

As a Mother a part of me, wants to pack up, move him off grid...and home school, and let him be, the other part of me, thinks I should cooperate with the system, and see what happens. His ability to do great HUGE. I understand this. I do not want to FAIL him. My biggest fear in this life is failing my children.

Also this post could very well be removed very soon...because at this juncture, I am tired of everyone with normal children thinking they could "fix him, if I had him for 2 weeks" , I am tired of everyone telling me how their child is doing with a similar diagnosis...your child is not my child...

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Time flies

When you are busy, and having fun....

The last year has flown by.

ArmyWifeToddlerMom, has a 6 and 8 year old now.

Who knew, that a hobby, would overflow into friendships with amazing people, and that I could actually maintain a habit of writing for an extended amount of time.

I go to the restroom at lunch break now, and see more wrinkles, and puffiness, and realize that sleep is more important this decade of my life.

My Father had photos of DH and I out this last trip to see him, we were 20 and 21. I looked amazing, and thin, tan, and overanimated. I sat there sad as I looked at them. DH do realize the kids are closer to our ages there, than we are now...Uhhhh no I did not, but now I do.


I am blessed with more than I wanted, and promise to maintain a level of preparedness in my home.

The Collective are now signed up for music classes. Lets see how they do!

MY primary goal for 2010, be a more attentive, Wife, Mother, and friend....